I agree with all the comments about it being memorable no matter what, and that the genuine "right moment" emotionally is more important than any elaborate set up. desjardins' story really touched me, for example. It varies by person, but I also am like Gucky and others in this thread saying they loved how domestic and simple/everyday the setting was because being in the spot frequently now leads to smiling...I got notice I was getting laid off a few weeks ago and the second to last... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 12:57 PM on July 25, 2008

Grant Morrison is (my) king for darker, more psychologically and sociologically complicated action comics--best example off hand is The Filth. Plus, he's more openly unusual (at least in my girly opinion) than some of the other obvious answers. Think more '90s punk aesthetic than dorky Victorian-laced Alan Moore nerdiness. Kill Your Boyfriend and We3 are every bit as emotionally brutal as say, Preacher but the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 9:31 AM on July 21, 2008

My boyfriend has this, mostly 'cause he loves historic synth moments, etc. It makes me laugh most of the time when I hear it. For sexier, try Kool and the Gang's "Summer Madness." That song is pure sex and absolutely wonderful.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 8:25 AM on July 21, 2008

(Some of these have stupid homemade/unofficial YouTube videos...just ignore that. I just link them so you can hear the songs. Any Last.fm links mean you can hear a decent song for free in its entirety, or the whole album!)

.Francoise Hardy
.Asobi Seksu
.Edith Frost. "Temporary Loan," "Cars and Parties," hell I forget...
.The Organ, who sound like Blondie mixed with a bunch of known 80s pop synth bands...... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 12:02 PM on July 19, 2008

Strip Scrabble. Question games ("Never Have I Ever," 20 Questions, etc). Writing down your answers to intimate ice breaker questions and then swapping sheets can be good. Sexy movies. Back rubs, scalp massages, or showers. Hair cuts even, if you're brave and trusting (definitely not for everybody!). Tracing words on each other's backs and then guessing what the word is. Yes, dinner and wine and doing the dishes the next day, not right after. Something about a hot kitchen makes... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 11:13 AM on July 18, 2008

Pat Califia's Public Sex is, hands down, the best of this kind of book I've ever encountered. It avoids the pitfalls a lot of the newer pop sex theorist books (I'm thinking mainly of Susie Bright's and Carol Queen's, for instance)--it isn't even a smidgeon P.C. or feelgood, it's just first-person honest-as-hell account married brilliantly to challenging theoretical musing. There's also Germaine Greer--The Madwoman's Underclothes, The Female... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 11:03 AM on July 18, 2008

You might also be interested in Framed: Lesbians, Feminists, and Media Culture by Judith Mayne. She dissects all sorts of pop culture manifestations of sexuality--Clint Eastwood films, figure skating, Diabolique, prison pulp fiction--and is pretty theoretical (I believe the book was published through University of Minnesota Press) while still being accessible.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 11:07 AM on July 18, 2008

The Go! Team - Huddle Formation
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 9:19 AM on July 18, 2008

.MX-80 - "More Than Good" ("you can go astray/it's ok/there's more to life than being good!")
.Wire - "I Feel Mysterious Today," their cover of "Just Don't Care," and most of Pink Flag (particularly "Brazil" and "Start To Move")
.Captain Beefheart - "Frownland" ("My smile is stuck/I cannot go back to your frownland")
.Like, all of the Elephant 6 bands. I'd... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 10:35 AM on July 18, 2008

This might not work for most people, but when I hit a wall with my boyfriend after about a year (we've always had great chemistry though, from the beginning....it was so great though that it was starting to seem boring "on paper" so I was curious how it could be even better), I realized I was never going to be able to express my curiosity and desire for something more or different face to face without blushing and losing my nerve to fully explain myself. He broke the ice actually by... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 10:57 PM on July 17, 2008

.How To Cook Everything by Mark Bittman
.Home Comforts by Cheryl Mendelson
.The mammoth OED
I also like books that have cocktail recipes. The NYPL Desk Reference is also good.

And for indispensible online resources, Mint.com comes to mind.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 11:43 AM on July 10, 2008

I watched Late Spring late one night after I'd graduated from college and was preparing to cross the country to leave my hometown for good, and I cried at the end of it. It reminded me to be thankful for the sacrifices my parents have made for me, including the nearly invisible one of letting go from my father. It's my favorite movie besides Safe. I've seen it again since and it still has that profound, very silent and gentle but deep impact on me. I've... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 2:03 PM on July 6, 2008

It sucks to say that no one can answer this yet, but frankly I think you should be wary of anyone saying anything definitively on either side. There simply hasn't been enough time and hence enough data collected on this because until pretty recently women weren't even considering this/capable of this. And yes, I'm familiar with the (loved by guys on Mefi, I've noticed...) theory that women weren't supposed to have periods as often as we do now due to pregnancy, etc. I'm also familiar with the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 10:43 AM on July 5, 2008

Don't promise things you know immediately you cannot deliver. On the other side of that, be tactful and have some finesse when you explain you can't--explain briefly but solidly why it isn't feasible, and then either offer compromises or suggestions that can make it happen (more time, a partner to work with, etc). When you CAN deliver but know it will mean a lot more energy/time on your part, weigh the benefits and costs. If you're going to make a very memorable impression by doing something... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 11:38 AM on June 29, 2008

they're a quick easy way to get some protein in a meal, and hence work for cold climates where you as much as possible, aaaand hot ones (thinking asia here) because you don't have to chew it much (warms you up) or make the oven hot. vietnamese desserts with gelatin are particularly refreshing.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 9:37 PM on June 25, 2008

Roast a chicken. It's easy as hell, economical (relative to other single-serving meats), doesn't require much prep/dishware, and can is recyclable so you as a single person eating solo won't get sick of leftovers--eat it straight up with some croutons or whatnot and greens/potatoes when it's hot, use the bones for stock to make broth and hence various soups (including, if you're lazy, straight up chicken rice or chicken vegetable soup using fast rice or frozen veggies), use the leftover meat in... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 8:38 PM on June 25, 2008

kristin hersh. kate bush.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 1:39 PM on June 22, 2008

Compound butter or things that use compound butter, like chicken kiev or croquettes or whatever. Making homemade butter is, I learned from Saveur recently, really really easy.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 8:03 PM on June 16, 2008

Pickles. Late night dessert tea with a splash of milk.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 11:22 AM on June 15, 2008

do you still let her know in concrete ways that you find her super hot? i dunno, the thing that leads to the common sex slump i'm familiar with in long term relationships on the girl end of things is the feeling you just don't SEE-see each other as new and exciting anymore. i'll remember all the things a guy said when we first got together about how looking at me would blow his mind and he couldn't believe his luck or whatever and then it would also disappear when we cohabitated. and i KNOW... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 7:02 PM on June 5, 2008

I'll second Emily Prager. A Visit From The Footbinder is a collection of her short stories and it is awesome in its grotesque wit. And you should read it anyway, for the remarkable story about the "anti-rape device." Off the wall.

And it's not quite on the mark, and not likely a novel suggestion either, but Kathy Acker comes to mind.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 7:44 PM on June 4, 2008

crossword puzzles in bed on a stormy unfriendly-outside night. favorite tv shows on dvd with someone who likes them as much as you do (arrested development marathon, anybody?). really really good, no really!-type chocolate--just a smidgeon'll do (dagoba's xocatl bars, with chile, nutmeg, maca, and vanilla, do the job in an almost creepily efficient fashion--it's prozac, truly mood altering). going someplace rural on a sunny lazy... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 6:47 PM on May 27, 2008

i can't help you with a specific recipe, but i went to a vegan potluck a few years ago and a girl i didn't know brought tofu fried "chicken." it was the best freaking fried "chicken" EVER. but she wouldn't spill the beans about the recipe. she just said she'd used penzey's spices. alas!
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 6:33 PM on May 27, 2008

One of the earliest and definitely still The Best comic ever remains George Herriman's "Krazy Kat." End of story, as it ever shall be, world without end Amen, etc.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 7:09 PM on May 22, 2008

i don't agree because the song seems to be about swinging, and also because music you shag to is an alien concept to me personally, but i saw Radiohead last week and someone i went with mentioned how "House of Cards" is their sexiest song. which got me thinking about how a lot of In Rainbows is stereotypically oooh. "All I Need," etc.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 7:01 PM on May 22, 2008

low's "(that's how you sing) amazing grace"
elliott smith's "needle in the hay"
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 8:11 PM on May 13, 2008

lyrics and music to that low song.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 8:15 PM on May 13, 2008

yeah, "bonnie brae" - the twilight singers
anything by spacemen 3 or spiritualized. this is their major theme, so...
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 7:25 AM on May 14, 2008

behavorial/experimental/neuroeconomics is really awesome. Carnegie Mellon, which is already deep into artificial intelligence/robotics, has a strong but very "new"/emerging-feeling experimental economics center. very cool. here's a good intro article on it, from the new yorker.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 11:44 AM on May 11, 2008

you might be interested in this askme thread.

i think a compass is the single most useful but uncommon item to have handy. i'd keep mine in my car though...
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 6:37 AM on April 24, 2008

I don't agree with everything here, including some that for everyone else I've met are total givens. The best example is shoes, and I think I just must be blessed with awesome feet that don't need the extra comfort or something...for important professional work shoes I splurge and pick carefully, but I love having a pair in practically every color and style for my fun outfits, so I buy tons of cheap ass but cute and faddish shoes from Payless. Sometimes I have to buy Dr. Scholl's type heel... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 11:22 PM on April 19, 2008

Oh, staplers! And yes yes a thousand times yes to beer, coffee, and chocolate. My favorite chocolate is Cote d'Or, Cafe Tasse, and Dagoba. I think I give 'em a shout out like every 5 months in Ask Me...
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 11:24 PM on April 19, 2008

meerkatty's right. i know a lot of people wrinkle their nose at doing eggs in the microwave, but if you pam spray a glass measuring cup or other glass bowl, crack 2 eggs, whisk lightly, and season, it's pretty decent and insanely quick. i usually add fresh chopped basil and some parmesan cheese and then cook it. it makes an omelet-like egg patty that i then top on a toasted english muffin, sometimes with some tomato or a slice of ham. good, very filling stuff.

i... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 12:56 PM on April 19, 2008

dunhill internationals. sadly, they seem to have stopped making the superior milds in the awesomely blue box. those were the best, and the ones hunter s. thompson and elizabeth david supposedly smoked. best cigarette ever.

standard hip cigs include gitanes, gauloises, and whatever cloves you prefer. lots of hipsters smoke nat shermans, and when i lamented the demise of my blue dunhills, the guy at the specialty shop said i oughta use nat shermans as a substitute.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 6:37 AM on April 15, 2008

She may seemed too "pampered" an example for you, but Janet Frame comes to mind because I just finished reading Wrestling with the Angel: A Life of Janet Frame. There's also the Criterion-released An Angel At My Table, the Jane Campion film based on Frame's autobiography. Basically, Frame was a New Zealand writer who grew up poor in a family that seemed doomed to tragedy (she lost all but one of her siblings to bizarre deaths and incarcerations... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 12:21 PM on April 4, 2008

put potato chips in a tuna fish sandwich. delicious.

kool aid pickles, mentioned upthread, are tasty.

and it isn't really weird, but it was already mentioned so i'll agree: apples n' cheese. perfect.

dates and bacon do indeed go very well together.

eggs and honey. eggs and rooster sauce.

mashed up/chopped-to-a-pulp pitted black olives (can be the canned cheap kind)... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 3:25 PM on April 3, 2008

i used to spend a lot of time when i first started dating the (quiet) boy i'm with now just lying next to him in silence. i was at ease, but wondered if he was uncomfortable. but then a couple times he mentioned it was so nice to be with someone who he could just be with, without having to make stupid chatter with. as others said above, different strokes, and sometimes the best thing about being with someone you click with is that you can really be yourself and it works with them in a way it... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 3:48 PM on April 2, 2008

they have those stretchy bands you use for your upper body toning in pilates. i can't speak personally about them, but it might be a nice alternative to weights. also, i know it's just a poor substitution for weights so probably not what you're looking for, but i just use soup/veggie cans to do those behind-your-head arm lifts to keep the back of the upper arm from being flabby...
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 1:04 PM on April 2, 2008

A couple things.

Meatloaf is about going by feel. The ratios can vary. If you think it's too dry when you're putting it together, add some au jus/Le Gout stock/beef stock or worcestershire sauce to moisten it up. Don't "handle" the raw meat too much, as that dries it out. And most importantly, people mistakenly think because it's a "loaf" you should cook it in a tight-fitting loaf pan. This is a no no. You need a relatively shallow, big/wide... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 8:04 PM on April 1, 2008

The Go! Team comes to mind. "Huddle Formation."
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 11:21 AM on March 28, 2008

"singing in my sleep" - semisonic. namechecks a buncha indie bands, or alludes to them, but yeah, it's semisonic!

ditto the wrens, bloc party, and the promise ring. buddy holly. the smiths. the flaming lips.

this is an excellent question by the way. i have two favorite people to get mix tapes from. one is hyper-obscure and brilliant in a straightforward obvious way. the other one is a genius at bridging this gap you speak of.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 8:21 PM on March 13, 2008

sugar's "changes."
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 8:04 PM on March 13, 2008

i made a photo calendar using iphoto to kill 2 birds with 1 stone with regard to cubicle real estate (photos, always-in-view datebook) and i've found it's the perfect size calendar (not a normal wall size to eat up cubicle wall space, nor so small i can't add a lot of info and dates to it) and i could customize the colors and events/dates preprinted on it. i'm sure other places do this too, but i've been really pleased with it. you can start it at any month too to get a full year.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 8:09 PM on March 10, 2008

listen up: voices from the next feminist generation edited by barbara findlen is a good intro because it's not theory-laden.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 7:54 PM on March 10, 2008

young (under 2 years old) barbera from the piemonte (northwestern) region of italy is a foodies' staple table wine. it's cheap--you shouldn't be paying more than 15 to 20 bucks a bottle--and very versatile, goes great with lots of different types of food because it's midrange with regard to astringency and fruitiness. i love it. learned about it from the amazing david rosengarten in his book taste, and it ever more replaced my go-to table choice of shiraz. joyce goldstein,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 7:55 PM on March 9, 2008

The electrical audio forum is fun sometimes.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 8:53 PM on March 7, 2008

i dunno. i won't be surprised if there's a pile on (even though people have implied you need work, or it's you or something), and i'm seriously not a generally gleeful "size matters!" sort of queen girl, but for uh...at a certain point, ehrm, size does matter (in the specific realms we're talking about, ie vaginal sex in certain positions). i've been with people who rarely orgasmed with me and, while i had warm fuzzy feelings from sex and a broad sense of "glow" from the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 8:38 PM on March 4, 2008

people already said the 3 that immediately came to mind: kimono microthins, beyond 7s, and crowns. mambas are great too but harder to find.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 10:29 PM on February 13, 2008

Go to a can't-miss tried-and-true salon and get a bitchin' haircut. I know it's cliche, post break up hairstyle changes, but it really does work wonders. I got one after the last break up and I got appreciative smiles on the walk home from the salon! ...And for weeks after. I felt lighter, too. Like a weight had been taken off in more than one way. Silly but true.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 9:04 AM on February 2, 2008

as a small present to go with other stuff, you might wanna check out the mod section of pins at pinbored.net. i ordered a bunch of pins from them a few months ago and they're great, not just selection wise but quality too. the images are sharp and they don't rust like some of the other cool pin sites on the web.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ifjuly at 8:02 PM on January 22, 2008