Activity from Anonymous
Displaying post 1 to 50 of 19804 from ask
I am an EU resident and have pending IRS tax debt (~$30,000) from when I was a US Resident (until 2011). I was on a payment plan but my finances were difficult for a while and I defaulted on my payments starting in 2013. I have had no communication from the IRS in this time (they have my current contact information). I would like to settle this issue now and be rid of this debt. I would like to request the MeFi community for help regarding two questions I have.
I am in a crisis situation with my SO. We are engaged with a wedding date less than 8 months away. While she is busy planning the wedding, I am spending more and more of my free time worrying about everything that is wrong with our relationship. As much as I'm praying that we can work through our issues, our fights have become more frequent and nastier. As a result, I'm experiencing major anxiety related to the upcoming wedding. I'm going to have a conversation with her about my feelings but am genuinely torn about what decision to make: keep the wedding date and try to work through our issues vs. postpone the wedding and work through our issues vs. cancel the engagement altogether vs. break up. Based on the relationship dynamics I describe below, what is everyone's advice as to the best course of action to take? To postpone the wedding & work through the issues seems like the most logical path, but my gut feeling tells me that she won't be receptive to that idea.
I have come to the realisation that I can no longer safely or humanely look after the 2 cats my daughter grew up with. It is not fair to them, my neighbours, my landlord, and I am unwell and it is difficult for me. But my daughter has gone through so much in the past few years, bulimia, OCD, anxiety, depression, at least 2 rapes, her grandmother died, her father went to prison for a horrible crime. She can't take the cats on, she lives in a high rise on a limited income. There is no one else. I can't face telling her that I need to find a new home for them, and causing her more grief, but I can't keep doing this. It's too hard. I also love the cats but I'm not being a good enough kitty mama. What do I do?
My partner was diagnosed with sleep apnea 18 months ago. He became somewhat emotionally unstable around the same time. It's time to put my foot down and insist that he seek treatment for the apnea. I'm wondering whether I need to ask him to seek separate treatment for the emotional issues--which would be an extremely hard sell--or whether those are likely to improve if the apnea is treated.
AFAB, want to try binding to help me look more like I feel. I've seen other binder shopping questions, but few are around my size. Please help me buy my first binder.
Need to download hundreds of PDFs, but they are linked in PDFs... Browser extensions can't auto-download them- what are my options?
I've decided to accept a job offer and leave a job that I had become dissatisfied with, yay! But now I need to tell my manager and my teammates that I'm leaving and I'm not sure how to do that because I'm a remote worker. Special snowflake details within.
I need a good book about Diabetes Type 2, one that's a notch about 'Diabetes for Dummies'. And I need a good resource for looking up glycemic loads. Can be an app. The ones I can find online are either puzzlingly limited (Harved doesn't think I ened to know the GL of cucumbers) or have pictures of celebrities on them and seem untrustworthy.
I am a woman in my late 20s, and I had my gallbladder removed a couple years ago. I feel better now than I did before the surgery, but my gastrointestinal system has become JUST unstable enough to be a source of anxiety in my life.
A colleague (X) that I have closely volunteered with at a separate non-profit for a couple years recommended me to apply for a job at her workplace from which she is soon departing. This job (technical in nature) is in the same department that X works in and she also sat in on each of the interviews as a part of the interviewing team. I've had a couple interviews so far, and based on my advancement, now believe that I may actually be offered this position, and my long-held impostor syndrome is actually now warranted.
Hi, I finished an English degree recently. I'm older than most - late 20s. I really like the idea of an academic career, but... (there are several buts)
Does Google index child pornography? About two months ago, I Google Image Search'd "vintage porn" because I have a soft spot for Victorian pornography. However, as I was scrolling through the images, one caught my eye. I won't describe it because triggers, but suffice it to say, I'm almost positive it was a pornographic image involving a child. I noped out as quickly as possible and almost threw my phone across the room.
We've been seeing each other for 6 weeks or so, and it's a promising start. We're compatible in multiple ways, we clearly really dig each other, except for this one thing. NSFW snowflakes inside.
I'm unfamiliar with drugs. Is this weed that I found in the parking lot?
I lead, and love leading, a pretty nomadic lifestyle. I do seasonal, travel based work interspersed with backpacking around the world. I am told constantly I lead a dream lifestyle. I love it, and am proud of what I have created. However, it's also becoming clear to me that something is not ok with my current mental health situation (more details below). My lifestyle is 1) interfering with my ability to get help and 2) possibly aggravating it. How can I keep the life I love and still get help?
How do I find the right therapist in San Francisco?
I moved to the UK with my family a few years ago for work. I like my job a lot, we have access to good schools, we don't pay rent, and the quality of life is generally good. The problem is that, after 3 years, I have no friends. I've invited people over, invited people out, gone to everything I have been invited to myself, and it just hasn't worked out with... anyone.
I go to Thai restaurants and Thai massage on a semi-regular basis. My name is Dee. Googling has previously told me that Dee is the Thai word for a femme lesbian. Is this something that your average Thai person would know or sub-culture slang?
I'm having some surgery on Friday next week to excise what is probably not skin cancer on my scalp. I have no idea how to tell my boyfriend this. I'm usually good with difficult conversations and I'm at a loss for how to do this one.
Our increasingly elderly father has survived another health crisis, but is going to need more care than we can afford or provide. Difficulty level: he's an ex-pat on the other side of the world, but wants his kid(s) to take care of him. Wall of text and some Whiskey Tango Foxtrot-ness inside.
I'm on the board of a small condo. The building has a small staff that has been here for almost two decades, and last night, a situation arose that resulted in one member getting arrested.
At the school I work at (in a mostly non-educational role) there are several children with severe autism (or what I would consider severe, but maybe not). They have their own aides, do modified programs, etc. I've never really worked with or been around children with autism before and because I don't come from an educational background, I am really struggling with understanding what autism *is* exactly and understanding what reasonable behavior/educational expectations look like. Are there any resources I should be looking at to get a better idea of what autism is and how to best interact with the children at the school who have it?
tl;dr, I worked for a non-profit that shut down and now a service I used for my job hasn't been paid and they've called me. I'm wondering if I should do anything or just ignore it. I used the service, but it's not like I was in charge of our financials or compliance. Full details inside.
I had a great-paying job in fundraising but the job was insanely emotionally over the top and I found myself running away after 18 months and now work in the private sector as a business development director. I donate money to charity and it has created a major dilemma that I can't figure out how to solve. Can you give me some advice?
My childhood friend is married to an emotionally controlling, increasingly paranoid man. What can she put in motion now to assist with her independence later, if it becomes necessary to leave?
I've noticed a pattern at the software company I work for: our best engineers (not just in terms of engineering but also in terms of their social skills, collaboration, coaching and working well with others) are promoted to engineering leadership roles and given direct reports. This reduces the time they spend actually making things by at least 50% due to the time they spend in management. They often don't make great managers (at least at first) and in some cases they eventually ask to return to being an individual contributor. How can we make this work better? What patterns of success have you seen for this in your own workplaces?
I’m a PhD student with a stipend who needs to figure out how to manage their finances. What’s a good system to ensure I’m living within my means and am saving properly?
Short Version: I'm at a start up that I suspect will not be getting its series B in time for us to not run out of money. I'm kind of expensive and also I like having a pay check. I need to figure out what to say when I'm interviewing.
(Asking for a friend). A friend smokes weed a couple of times a year. They just smoked (for the first time in a year or two) yesterday, and are going in for a hernia surgery in three days. The hospital intake paperwork asks whether they use illegal drugs. The privacy statement specifically retains the right to share information with the police. So they'd rather not admit to the marijuana unless it's actually medically relevant. Is it possible that a couple of joints could have lasting effects four days later that a surgeon would need to know about?
I met a great man about a year or so ago right after getting out of an abusive relationship. I left after a few weeks to figure myself out. I never told him about the nature of the relationship I left, just that I needed time and could I get back in touch when I was in a better place but that I didnt know how long that would be.
REM sleep behavior disorder. I've discussed it with my GP, psychologist and neurologist and we're fairly convinced I have it. Thrown myself out of bed twice in the last year, giving me a lovely new scar on my neck. Too many episodes of thrashing and kicking. Many, many episodes of talking. The last objectively confirmed by family while we were recently on holiday and thus in closer sleeping arrangements.
My wife and I are in couples therapy, but I feel like we haven’t made much progress. Help me develop a strategy to get things on track.
I am a happily married women in my forties and this is causing me some heartache. I would like to be friends with straight men that I find interesting without constantly thinking about them in a romantic way. How do I stop this?
After being financially ruined after a divorce, my 3 kids and I were lucky enough to be chosen for a low-to-moderate-income 3 bedroom home; the rent was $650 monthly which was all I could afford at the time. Unfortunately, my rent is now being raised to $1450 (30% of my AGI) and I just cannot afford that. I have a son with a mental health disability who is thriving in a special education program in the public high school. If we move, I won't find a comparable program (also, it's his senior year and moving him will not go down easy). Wise Hivemind: is there ANYTHING I can do to get the board to reconsider? Does my son's disability factor?
I am 8 years into a 30 yr mortgage, with a fixed rate that is about 1.25 to 1.75 points above where rates are now, so it seems like a good time to investigate refinancing. What are the problems and issues I need to watch out for?
Hi, I just switched fields / areas of study and I'm getting used to not getting by on my fancy words and good looks anymore. Please help me not hate myself?
How do I cope with a change in my mindset about my relationship?
I’m getting married in a week and a half. We expect about 130 guests in an indoor venue. Thus far, I’ve rented speakers that I’m told will be sufficient for ambient music and then a dance floor, and I’m planning on creating a Spotify playlist to play from my laptop during the dance. Am I doing this wrong? Should I panic and try to find a DJ at the last minute?
Mom had rotator cuff surgery and really needs to keep her arm immobilized and then even more so take it slow and easy during recovery. I'm far away and can send flowers or something, but a neat, fun, or especially practical gift item that would help her would be really nice. Suggest away! Have you had to deal with going one-handed for a while? What helped the most? Snowflakes (of course) inside.
I have an acquaintance from high school who I’ve interacted with in group settings for several years. Recently, she has decided that she wants to hang out with me, one on one, more frequently than I am comfortable with.
Chase says it should work but Wells Fargo says no go.
I have an entirely inappropriate strong crush even though I'm a married parent, but that's not really what this question is about.
Someone with whom I have only a passing acquaintance is harassing me by phone (many more details inside). What is the best way to proceed with de-escalating this situation now? What should I have done differently in this situation? How in the future can I avoid getting in a similar situation?
I am engaged to a warm, loving, and strongly supportive man. We have incredible affection for each other, a ton of fun together, good communication, and a relationship that many would envy. We have talked about children and he would be a loving and devoted father. In a hundred different ways, he is a better partner than I could ever have imagined for much of my life. I love him dearly and am grateful to have met him. Now I need to decide if I want to sign up for a life with him or putting my money where my mouth is and moving to Crone Island for good.
I'm interested in exploring my sexuality with multiple partners. (37, F, straight-ish). However, I'm a sensitive, over-thinking type with a moderate case of vaginismus. How do i find patient and understanding partners?
I'm looking for some good articles that explain the timelines of social media to my boss. I'm struggling to get him to understand why delaying posting things that are already published online on news websites for days or even weeks doesn't make sense. Ditto delaying posting photos from events for up to two weeks.
Managers of Metafilter, how did you handle coverage for your maternity leave? If all goes according to plan, I'm going to tell my boss that I'm pregnant next week, and I'd like to have some ideas/suggestions for her when she starts wondering how to handle my leave.
I got a "reconsideration" on my PhD defense, which is essentially "you have to do major revisions to the dissertation." This is pretty much unheard of. I don't know a single person this has happened to. My adviser had NO CLUE this was going to happen, and we both thought I was going to pass easily. More below.
I will likely need to cancel a work-related conference trip next week for medical reasons. Can I expect reimbursement for the money I've already spent? Bonus: my cancellation will be for mental health reasons, documented by my team of doctors. Does your workplace have policies around this? I am in the state of Massachusetts.
I recently suffered a detached retina in one eye. This is a condition that needs to be treated immediately or I risk blindness. There is an increased chance my other eye will suffer the same fate.