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How to have a calm life with a kid

We're old, married, set in our ways. Are we cut out for parenting?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 9:45 PM on June 25, 2017 (34 comments)

How do queer adults have healthy friendships?

When I get close to people, I start having powerful feelings for them. I'm married, bi, and my partner has no problem with me exploring these feelings. But I do, because I don't have an understanding of healthy relationships outside of the patriarchal hetero nuclear family. Please explain to me like I was 17 how to have healthy, queer, adult relationships.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 9:57 AM on June 25, 2017 (10 comments)

Did I make a mistake? If not, then why does this feel so bad?

I ended a complicated and messy friendship a few days ago, and now I'm a wreck. I'm having enormous trouble processing my feelings and understanding where all of it is coming from, accepting that I've made my decision, and moving on. Did I overreact? Did I make a mistake? What should I be learning from this? What questions should I be asking myself? What else am I missing?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on June 24, 2017 (18 comments)

It's taking it out of me to try to stay friends with her

Hi Metafilter! Once upon a time, I was in a relationship that ‘changed the game’ for me. I’ve been dwelling on how powerful it was ever since. We're friends again, but it's hard. Ideally: I’d like to keep the relationship, and change my attitude towards it, so that I have space to change my attitude towards life. Realistically: I know the best way would be to change my attitude towards life, and the focus on the relationship will follow. Hope me. Tough love me.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on June 23, 2017 (16 comments)

What is my recourse when the Dept. of Revenue makes a mistake?

The Pennsylvania Department of Revenue recently put a tax lien on my credit report for unpaid state income taxes. The problem is, I didn't live in the State of PA during the year they're claiming I didn't pay income taxes. They're not being very helpful...what should I do?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 8:50 AM on June 23, 2017 (7 comments)

Foot fungus hell

I've been dealing with foot and toenail fungus for years and it is not getting any better. Topical solutions work temporarily but not completely. Two of my toenails have fallen off and my feet look disgusting. My right foot especially is constantly peeling and flaky on the bottom. I have no health insurance. What do I do?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:05 AM on June 23, 2017 (13 comments)

No good at my job

I've been in my role as Policy Officer in a Government department for several years now but I feel like I'm no good at it. I do my best but there is nothing I seem to be good at or improving on very much. My work gets changed a lot but I can't see any logic behind the changes to learn from. Others seem to get promoted and progress a lot more easily than me. I've had other roles within the same organisation with mostly the same problem. I'm hunting for a better fit but I'm not sure what else would suit me. I was considered able at school and at university so this struggle is new for me. My performance reviews are always average - not terrible but not great either. What should I do? How can I cope with always feeling like the dull kid?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on June 22, 2017 (7 comments)

How do I make the best of a difficult work situation?

I need some help determining the best course of action after the recent shakeups at my company. I'd like to do what's best for me and my career, but I also care about the people I work with and respect the core mission so I'd like to do right by them.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:10 AM on June 22, 2017 (3 comments)

How to drive a downshift

Have you ever left a pretty good job for a lower-status, lower-paying job? Regardless of whether you're glad you did or wish you hadn't, what do you wish you had known before you did? What should I consider? Snowflakes after the jump.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 6:05 AM on June 21, 2017 (16 comments)

Feminine-of-center look for pre-everything trans lady

I'm taking my MTF sibling clothes shopping. I have no idea where to start. Help?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 6:04 AM on June 21, 2017 (12 comments)

Help me think about buying my dad's home to ease his financial burden.

My husband and I are considering purchasing my elderly dad's home to make it easier for him to afford to keep living there. But there are so many questions...some are financial, some are related to family relationships. Help.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on June 19, 2017 (21 comments)

Useful, trustworthy online resources for adjusting to (pre)diabetes?

I've made some progress, major diet changes, but I still have many questions. I'm sure most have been answered, but I have not had the best luck finding those answers. My searches seem polluted with chaff and many sites I have found are either not terribly useful rehashes of the obvious or they just reek of quackery. Forums, food databases, recipes, all would be welcome. Just hoping you can act as peer reviewers here and recommend the best evidence based resources you've found. Thanks much.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on June 19, 2017 (6 comments)

Care package ideas for a nerdy Aussie Army guy?

So my fella is in the Australian army, and deployed for 6 months to a big middle east American base (he is not a Mefi but knows my name here and I want to keep ideas a surprise). I can send parcels to him that are under 2kg to him for free (go Australia Post). He loves getting parcels from me but I need more ideas, please hope me ....
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on June 19, 2017 (10 comments)

One Dry Spell Is Bad Enough

Single woman, in the midst of perimenopause, but not on HRT, wants to amp up her sex life and so is seeking an in-the-moment solution for...dryness.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:01 AM on June 18, 2017 (12 comments)

Best Salon to Get a Pixie Cut in Pasadena or Los Angeles

Based on the photos provided inside, can I pull off a pixie cut, and if so, where in Pasadena/Los Angeles should I go to have it done?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:01 AM on June 18, 2017 (13 comments)

Need help with a letter to a trust administrator

How to document a request for a distribution when the need for funds is less than specific??
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 5:40 AM on June 17, 2017 (5 comments)

Professional advice on selling start-up shares?

My spouse has the opportunity to take a significant amount out of a start-up they founded during their next investment round. We are looking for recommendations for who we should be talking to as we navigate this process.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on June 15, 2017 (4 comments)

I identify as gay but should I try dating women?

I'm a guy and I've always been attracted to men and have only slept with men. Occasionally I've had crushes on women but they never went further than a kiss. I've been single for a long time and haven't had luck with men beyond hooking up. Women flirt with me much more than men. Should I see if I might actually be bisexual? Or is experimenting inherently unfair?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 9:27 AM on June 15, 2017 (14 comments)

Current employer in financial trouble; what do I say at job interview?

I was hired by a small non-profit 10 months ago. I love my job, but the organization is having financial trouble and has failed to make payroll several times. After a sobering conversation about the future of the organization with my boss, I applied for a job at a city government department and was just invited for an interview for Friday morning. It's likely that they will ask why I'm considering leaving. What should I say?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:06 AM on June 15, 2017 (11 comments)

Acommodating therapy?

I would like to start weekly therapy. It would be from 9-10a on a weekday. How do I navigate this with my employer? Bonus: I work for the government.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on June 14, 2017 (6 comments)

Finding a literary agent for very different kinds of writing.

How do I find an agent to represent both political blogging and literary fiction?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:05 PM on June 13, 2017 (4 comments)

What (if anything) to do about a friend faking illness?

A former friend of mine almost certainly has Munchausen Syndrome, and is defrauding entire communities. This has been going on for years and is getting more elaborate. Do I have an obligation to say something?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on June 13, 2017 (22 comments)

Divorce and real estate taxes

We are getting a divorce, "amicably". We are not going through lawyers. We agree on all the asset splits which really boil down to: she keeps the residence, I keep the investment home (these properties have about the same amount of equity in them), I will sell the investment property to a) pay her off for 1/2 of my pension (which is not, and can not be made liquid) and b) possibly finance a down payment on a new home for me. How best to structure this so as to limit my/our tax liabilities?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:03 AM on June 13, 2017 (14 comments)

How / do you report sexual harassment if you are not directly involved?

A friend and now former colleague confided in me that one of the managers in our department, but not her manager, aggressively hit on her after her going away happy hour last week.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:03 AM on June 13, 2017 (18 comments)

How do I renew my driver's license with this proviso?

My license renewal form has, on the bit to send in, "I certify that I have no mental or physical condition and I am not taking any medication that could impair my ability to operate a motor vehicle." Help me figure out whether or not this is true for me and if not, how else to renew my Washington State driver's license.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 8:10 PM on June 12, 2017 (10 comments)

Why can't my body stay turned on?

My body can't seem to remain turned on, even when my mind can. Feelings of physical arousal or sensitivity are fleeting, hardly lasting for thirty seconds, usually less. What gives, and is this something that can be fixed? Disappointing is an understatement.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:58 PM on June 11, 2017 (6 comments)

Tips for dealing with seeing my abuser at my own wedding?

traumafilter warning: abuse, incest. I will see my abuser at my own wedding and im not sure how to proceed. Any advice or practical tips at all are much apprciated.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on June 11, 2017 (25 comments)

Mortgage reserve requirement

We're prequalified for a mortgage with a very large reserve requirement. We're ready to satisfy most of the requirement, but there's one last chunk to consider.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on June 11, 2017 (10 comments)

Relationship and muscular dystrophy

My boyfriend of nine years has a muscle disease, uses a wheelchair, and will need assistance in the future. He is the only guy I've dated. We've both finished graduate education and I'm starting my first job. I'm not sure what to do next.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on June 10, 2017 (25 comments)

Frustrations of a socially conscious tech jobseeker

I'm a tech professional in the US with a mix of programming and IT skills and several years experience. I'm not working now and have been out of work for a long time. I would strongly prefer to work in socially positive areas like health care, education, renewable energy, or poverty reduction, to give some examples. I've applied to many places but am still unemployed, and I'm discouraged and have taken a long break from looking. It's frustrating to have useful skills with not much interest from employers even before salary is discussed. I would appreciate any advice you can give for my job search, includes links to forums, newsgroups, subreddits, Slack groups or other online discussion areas geared toward tech professionals interested in working for the social good.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on June 9, 2017 (11 comments)

Job decisions

I have to decide between two university teaching jobs. Even though I know it's a very nice problem to have, I'm incredibly stressed out about this.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 9:36 AM on June 9, 2017 (6 comments)

Improved Sexuality via Independent Study

I'm a queer woman in my early 30s not currently in a relationship. I think about sex a LOT. What can I do now (next 3-6 months?) to make partnered sex better when I am in a long-term relationship again?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:11 AM on June 9, 2017 (8 comments)

Interactions with pets after having kids

What did you do to make sure that pets stayed an important part of your life after having kids?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on June 8, 2017 (27 comments)

How do I work on anxious attachment disorder?

I've recently noticed a pattern of anxious feelings in between communication with partners. Been with current boyfriend for over 1.5 years and still struggle with feeling anxious about our communication. We talk nearly every day in person or on the phone unless one of us is traveling for work and even on those days, we text intermittently throughout the day. But I find myself feeling lonely sometimes in between our communication. I realized that I've felt this way in nearly every relationship I have. But I want to stop. Help!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:17 AM on June 8, 2017 (7 comments)

How to navigate a romantic route while just about to leave the country?

I've recently been chatting with someone and feel with some surety that we'd enjoy each other's company for a string of dates or more. We've spent only some time alone together (perhaps once or twice), and I'd like to spend more time with them. The trouble is I'm due to leave in a month or two for an extended period of time. It's not often I meet someone who I see potential with, so I'm unsure of what to do next. When/how should I tell them about my impending departure? Should I continue to see them even if anything that happens will be prematurely curtailed?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:17 AM on June 8, 2017 (6 comments)

Seeing estranged parent at sibling's wedding - not sure how to cope

I haven't spoken to my dad in a long time and just the thought of being face-to-face with him upsets me. But my brother is getting married and now I need to be in the same room with him. I don't know how I am going to be ok with this as only the thought of it makes me cry and feel upset.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 3:43 AM on June 6, 2017 (37 comments)

Will we ever get our family heirlooms back?

A relative died a month ago, and a week ago my partner and I went to their house to photograph what was in the house. Two days later, someone broke in and stole a bunch of it. The local police department was too cash-strapped to ever show up, and I'm out of town for two weeks. Do we have any options for recovering our stolen goods?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 6:35 AM on June 5, 2017 (6 comments)

Refusal of emergency medical care

My father is in the late stages of pancreatic cancer. He is not in hospice and is continuing to pursue treatment, but his condition has recently worsened severely, to the point where over the past month there have been several circumstances where he has collapsed at home and has clearly needed medical care. In these situations, my mother has called the paramedics, but when they arrive, he is alert enough to repeatedly refuse treatment and has to be "talked into" going to the ER by the paramedics. What can we do if he will not go?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 6:35 AM on June 5, 2017 (9 comments)

Harrassing Emails from old acquaintance at work address

Hi all. Over the last year, I've dealt with some harassing emails from an old acquaintance, and I'm not exactly sure of the right actions to take (or not take, have been ignoring).
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:28 AM on June 3, 2017 (7 comments)

advice needed for difficult financial situation

you are not my lawyer, financial planner, debt counselor or in anyway legally obligated to put my best interests first as part of a conversation. nonetheless, my situation is that i owe quite a bit of money i have few options to deal with.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:28 AM on June 3, 2017 (7 comments)

Should I confront my sexual harasser?

About six months ago, I figured out that my manager would make me go out of my way so that he could discretely look down my shirt and look at my butt. He would make me walk in and out of his room for unnecessary reasons so that the and a colleague would comment and look at my body. He was otherwise very respectful to me in person. More details within
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:52 AM on June 2, 2017 (8 comments)

My name is Doctor and I don’t have a life.

I am a doc and I don’t have a life. Help?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:49 AM on June 2, 2017 (21 comments)

How do you learn to trust men?

How, as a woman, do you learn to trust men, within the context of romantic and sexual relationships, particularly if you have a history of trauma or boundary-pushing behavior from them?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:32 AM on June 2, 2017 (23 comments)

Need help with relationship doubts

Having concerns about relationship and need advice on if they are deal breakers or if they can be worked around
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:29 AM on June 2, 2017 (13 comments)

Queer-friendly haircut in Denver?

Looking for recommendations for queer (non-binary, specifically) friendly barbers + salons in the Denver area. Suburbs are OK too.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on June 1, 2017 (4 comments)

Dealing with a dealbreaker

Someone I had a probably-ill-advised (but still exciting and pleasurable) sexting thing going on with revealed offhandedly that she had shared our texts (and maybe images) with a friend.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on June 1, 2017 (14 comments)

The world of Portland

What are the best examples of the cultures, religions, ethnicities, and people of the world to be found in the city of Portland Oregon? Grocery stores, best restaurants, neighborhoods/enclaves, places of worship, etc. I am interested in learning more about all of the different people who make up the city of Portland.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:33 PM on June 1, 2017 (8 comments)

My sister is bipolar, unemployed, broke and suicidal.

My sister is bipolar. She has had some treatment in the past (meds) but it made her too manic so she stopped taking them. She's unemployed and my dad has been paying her rent and bills. He literally cannot afford to keep paying. What can we do?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:53 AM on June 1, 2017 (10 comments)

Difficulty reaching out after getting blasted.

A few months ago, a dear friend admitted that he loved me (it was not reciprocated and he knew it wouldn't be). He tried to go no-contact, failed, and instead sent me out-of-the-blue multi-paragraph messages about what a terrible person/friend I am and how boring and fake I am. (I cut off contact.) Since then, I've been afraid to contact friends to chill because of some of the things he said were about my fundamental unlikeability and how people merely tolerate me. How can I move on and/or improve my likeability?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:51 AM on June 1, 2017 (30 comments)

How to vote in UK election from Victoria, Australia

I'm an Australian born and resident British citizen in Melbourne. How do I vote in the UK General Election? More generally: how does expat voting even work?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on May 31, 2017 (6 comments)

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