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What would I do if I left academia?

I am considering leaving a tenure track position in the humanities to follow my partner to the Bay Area. In order to compare the options, I need some idea of what I'd do there.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:58 PM on April 19, 2014 (7 comments)

Should I stay or should I go now?

I’m no longer in love with my fiance and I’m not sure how I should proceed. The complicating factor is our children.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 5:37 AM on April 19, 2014 (28 comments)

I feel like the only insane person for being sane.

My girlfriend, her parent, and her entire family are 100% convinced that one of her parents has an incurable terminal disease. The catch? None of the test results have come back. In fact, none of the tests have even been done.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on April 18, 2014 (24 comments)

Boss me around, please!

My manager is very hands-off and this is not going to change. How can I get better at managing myself, when I would prefer an environment with more direction and feedback?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on April 18, 2014 (9 comments)

Sibling in a downward spiral and no idea what to do

My brother is a senior in high school, and after a lifetime of excellent academic performance, seems to be having a nervous breakdown.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:48 PM on April 18, 2014 (35 comments)

Good Nevada brothel for couples?

I'm a straight man, wife is bi. Married over a decade, but have had some fun group sex experiences together in the past. However sexy single females ("unicorns") are hard to come by so we're looking at a Vegas trip for some naughty fun. Need information.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:48 PM on April 18, 2014 (1 comment)

My sister drives home drunk.

I moved in with my sister a couple of weeks ago. She just drove home drunk, and this isn't the first time it's happened. Please, please help me get her to stop.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:05 AM on April 18, 2014 (35 comments)

Leaning...backward? Better lifestyle, not-better job?

We'd like to move to another city for family reasons, but it will likely require a step back for me career-wise. I'd like to hear about how that worked out for other people. Can you help me get excited about it?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 6:28 PM on April 17, 2014 (16 comments)

Colleagues make sexist comments out of female earshot. What do I do?

I am a feminist, and many (not all) of my colleagues routinely make sexist comments. They know I am not okay with this, and instead of holding back, they now often do it even more blatantly, partly to get a rise out of me. I'm something of a beginner feminist so I don't know what to do. Tips please?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 3:16 PM on April 17, 2014 (32 comments)

Unsure if I should seek clarification on workplace procedures

Sorry if I am vague. Other than seeming to lack leadership qualities my current boss has been nothing but pleasant (I mention this so it doesn't seem like I am questioning whether to do this because of my bosses behavior). I have been working at this place for a few months now. Basically I am unclear on several policies and procedures that are critical to my ability to do my job. I tend to overthink things but at the same time I feel like not understanding leads to a more stressful and possibly not correctly executed set of working conditions. My supervision in this job is nearly non existent and I am somewhat free to act as I see fit but my boss has said he wants things done a certain way. Going further this wasn't a failure to pay attention on my part . There was significant training done by the company but none of it focused on this area. Basically my issue is should I sit down with my boss and seek clarification on a number of points ( something which would probably take 15 minutes) when technically I can do my job without the clarification but it might mean my work may not be in line with my bosses, the companies, or common sense expectations?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 6:54 AM on April 17, 2014 (11 comments)

Employer reveals they've been inadvertently underpaying me for years

Due to an accounting error, my employer has not been paying me my full salary for the last several years. I'm in sales, and I get paid on commission, so my paycheck fluctuates month to month - I never even noticed my paycheck was always secretly slightly less than what it should have been. My employer just discovered their error and told me immediately. Which I hugely respect. We have a good employment relationship and we'd all like it to continue. They're saying they now owe me about $145k plus interest, and are prepared to write me a check, but they know this raises some tax issues for me.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 5:41 AM on April 17, 2014 (20 comments)

Why do my jeans smell after one wear?

Recently my jeans have started lasting only one wear before beginning to smell musty. About halfway through the day, I notice that I've been sweating enough to make the waistband slightly damp and there is a distinct odor coming from my jeans. It comes back quickly after washing, and I've never experienced this before in my life - I'm used to jeans lasting a week or so before switching them out. How do I keep from making my jeans smell, or how do I eliminate the odor permanently in washing?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 5:40 AM on April 17, 2014 (18 comments)

Young, 24 year old woman suffering from chronic constipation

I was wondering if anyone knows what my digestive system/ body is struggling with: I am almost 24 years old. I have a very stressful teaching job, and sometimes I don't eat very well because I don't have access to a supermarket. But, even before I started this job, I began to suffer from constipation. I only experience a bowel movement on average once every four days (often it takes a week.) My father has Crohn's disease, and I have been to see his doctor. His doctor told me that he sees a lot of young women with this problem, and he recommends that I take miralax regularly. I take it about once every other day, and occasionally drink Senna tea. But it doesn't always help. I have trouble particularly the week before my period. Have any other young women experienced this kind of thing? Is it as common as my doctor says? Does anyone have "home remedy" advice that actually works well?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 5:56 PM on April 16, 2014 (34 comments)

how do i stop my parents dictating my life?

How do I keep my parents from being quite so upset, angry and unreasonable, while retaining control over my wedding, marriage and life?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on April 16, 2014 (22 comments)

Save me from my dumb brain

How can I stop thinking about the woman who broke my heart?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on April 16, 2014 (15 comments)

Recommendations for Puget Sound civil law firm

A verbal promise for partial ownership in the company I work for needs to become a paper contract, and given the power differential and the several years since this promise has been discussed in detail, I need recommendations for the best possible attorneys to have on my side. This is in the Puget Sound area.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on April 16, 2014 (2 comments)

Transitioning to become a therapist

Evidently, I am a very good listener. Is there any realistic chance of using this to transition to either a career or a side-job as a counselor of some sort?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on April 16, 2014 (13 comments)

I'm addicted to pornography and need help.

I've amassed quite a collection, and have become compulsive about collecting and organizing my images and videos. I've been denying it for a while, but as it's been getting worse as of late I think I need some help and advice; I'd particularly like to hear from guys who have dealt with this issue, as I'm pretty sure this affects the dudes more than the ladies. NSFW, I guess. Details inside.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on April 16, 2014 (15 comments)

Am I uptight, or is he being a perv?

I'm a woman in my mid 40's, and my husband is in his early 50's. We've been married over 20 years, have 3 great kids and a relatively good life. But our sex life has taken a weird turn here lately (at least for me).
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:56 AM on April 16, 2014 (39 comments)

How do I file back/prior-year taxes with a IRS Wage & Income Statement?

After filing my US taxes for 2013 on time, I've decided to bite the bullet and file my delinquent 2008 tax return. I am disorganized and no longer have any of my paperwork. I got a Wage and Income Transcript from the IRS site, which has all the info I need. Do I just file this transcript with my return in lieu of W-2s and 1099s?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 6:18 AM on April 16, 2014 (4 comments)

No, not Tiggers! Triggers.

I would like to give a short awareness talk aimed at raising awareness of triggers. Five minutes or less, keyed towards the safety issues for the trigeree. What key points should I include?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on April 15, 2014 (7 comments)

Competitive people pleaser seeks self-identity.

I have a deeply ingrained habit of being both a people pleaser and caring a lot about accomplishments, winning prizes, receiving accolades, getting praise and recognition from others. However, so much so that it clouds what I really want to do in terms of my career. Was this you? Did you recover from it? How did you sort it out?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:09 PM on April 15, 2014 (9 comments)

Should I be panicking about my Bank of America password?

(Keeping this anonymous because I'm worried my security's compromised and don't want to make it worse.) So for about the past six weeks, the log-in process on the Bank of America site has been behaving strangely for me. When I go to the BOA site I see my online userID in the normal way and click on it. That then takes me to the sitekey confirmation page where --weirdly-- my password is now showing up in plaintext on the login page, above the sitekey image. The first time this happened it was displaying my then-current password, which I immediately logged in with and changed. Since then, every time I go to log in I see the old password in plaintext, above the sitekey. When I enter either my then-current or my actually-current password it's rejected and I need to go through the reset process before I can successfully log in. I'm not freaking out, because there's no strange activity in my accounts. But still, it's unnerving. So..... what might be going on here, and what should I do about it?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on April 15, 2014 (15 comments)

One date with someone who was bereaved shortly after

I've been on one date with a man whose brother died shortly afterwards. I want to support him and respect his decisions (including about whether to continue the relationship) but absolutely do not want to take advantage of his grief. I don't know how to approach this.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on April 14, 2014 (18 comments)

How long do I have to put up with SNRI side effects?

How long do I have to put up with SNRI side effects? And which ones will go away?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 6:52 PM on April 14, 2014 (9 comments)

Interview: should I mention that my current position is ending?

I'll be interviewing for a new position next week. I'm worried that if they ask why I'm leaving my current job, and I tell them that my current position is going will no longer have funding within a 6 months, I will give up some potential salary if it comes to salary negotiation. Is that a valid worry and if so, should I not mention that and just go with other (also true) reasons such as "I'm no longer feeling challenged"?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:04 PM on April 14, 2014 (13 comments)

Make my husband look like a Seattle native.

We are moving to Seattle in August. I'm looking for recommendations for "quintessentially Seattle" attire to get my husband for his birthday.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 5:39 AM on April 14, 2014 (31 comments)

sharing passwords with significant others?

My SO recently gave me his password. What does this mean?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 5:37 PM on April 13, 2014 (37 comments)

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

I have a friend visiting me that wants to watch the Red Sox and so I got tickets for the upcoming Red Sox v. Orioles game in Boston (Friday, January 18). Said friend is a big baseball buff, while I only have passing interest and haven't been following any baseball closely for more than two years now. My friend won't judge me for that or anything, but still, can someone give me a quick rundown of interesting talking points for this game?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 5:37 PM on April 13, 2014 (12 comments)

ADA accommodations after FMLA runs out

Due to a flare up in a (diagnosed, currently being treated) disability, I've had to take intermittent FMLA leave - which is about to hit the 12 week limit! How do I talk to my boss about reasonable accommodations going forward?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:14 AM on April 13, 2014 (15 comments)

Handling the shame of suicide

I attempted suicide a week ago. Things are good now. New meds and more therapy. Tons of support. Really really glad I am alive and feel safe and secure that it won't happen again. But how do I deal with the shame of seeing how I hurt people who love me?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 9:45 AM on April 13, 2014 (31 comments)

Self-catheterisation.

What are the dangers of self-catheterisation? I was told that I need to check in to a hospital for a whole day so that I can be taught this procedure due to being diagnosed with a neurogenic bladder. Surely this is not necessary.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:31 AM on April 12, 2014 (9 comments)

How to tactfully explain to people that I’m not straight?

I got married last year (!). My husband and I are both queer, and both have a history of same-sex relationships before we met one another. This hasn't caused any problems in our own relationship, but it’s causing some unexpected confusion at our LGBT-friendly church.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 6:45 AM on April 12, 2014 (34 comments)

Do condo associations have to file tax forms?

We just found out that there is such a thing as the 1120-H tax form for condo and homeowner associations, and the previous owners of our building have never filed. Great. We're going to start, but is this something that all condo or homeowner associations do? Were our previous owners unusually lax?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:41 PM on April 11, 2014 (7 comments)

I need some advice about my dog.

My family dog is 11 years old. He has always lived at my mom’s and visited mine very occasionally, but not for about 3 years. As him coming to me never worked out (he was always stressed, anxious, barking, wanting to go home) I gave up, and left him at his own home.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 5:59 PM on April 11, 2014 (23 comments)

Illness in the US, but magically, no healthcare!

I just returned from West Africa and have a number of symptoms consistent with malaria - or the flu. I have no healthcare, through circumstances beyond my control (I'll elaborate) until May 1. When is it worth it to go to the doctor to get tested? How can I try to keep this from being a pre-existing condition, given that it may be the recurrent form?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 5:58 PM on April 11, 2014 (19 comments)

Does telling my doctor I get high also tell my insurance co. & my boss?

For treating anxiety, I traded prescribed Xanax for unprescribed cannabis and I'm very happy. Extremely happy. Occasionally giddy. How honest should I be with my doctor? If I tell them, does that tell my insurance company I'm involved with illegal activities or something? Is that info available to my boss who pays for insurance?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:32 AM on April 11, 2014 (17 comments)

Cross-cultural romance - how do I understand the family stuff?

I'm an ex-pat (Western, female) in a culture that is not like my own. I've fallen in love, but I don't know how to process the family dynamics. Help!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 6:58 PM on April 10, 2014 (24 comments)

I had a "mystical" experience. I'm not sure how to process it.

The other evening I was hanging around my apartment eating dinner. At some point after I finished eating, and for several hours afterwards until I went to sleep, I experienced a state of mind I can only describe as "mystical", or perhaps hyper-awareness. Whatever it was, it was so different from anything I can remember experiencing that it threw me completely off balance and I'm still trying to figure out what happened. Looking for insight from others who may have had a similar experience. Details inside.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 9:52 AM on April 10, 2014 (39 comments)

Unreasonable to Want Higher Pay or Better Fitting Position?

I get the feeling I'm underpaid in my current position and my primary skillset is definitely under-utilised, but without a degree or even the industry standard certificate for what I really like to do, I feel like I have to accept that. Am I wrong? It would change my life to be wrong.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 8:51 AM on April 10, 2014 (14 comments)

How to handle a "courtesy interview"?

I work for Company A, a very large outift with multiple branches in my city. I have worked for company A since I graduated from college, at first with my Dream Job division (but not doing my dream job), then with my OK Job division. I still work in OK Job division and my job is pretty OK. I applied for my dream job with Company A last year. The person I would report to informed me that since they did not get enough qualified applicants, they would not be filling the position. I took that to mean I was not qualified and thought it was done. Now they're offering me a "courtesy interview." What?!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 9:02 PM on April 9, 2014 (17 comments)

Describe going from "date" to "relationship"

I'm a guy in his thirties who has never been in a romantic relationship. I've been dating through OKCupid for a while, without too much success, and I think one of the reasons is that I just don't have a model of how you go from "first date" to "exclusive relationship involving emotional commitment". Hollywood love stories are no help, and I have no real-life experience, even at second hand, of how this tends to happen. I think it would help me to read some concrete descriptions of various paths this transition can take.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on April 9, 2014 (14 comments)

Help us weigh financial priorities.

My family's income has just increased, and we're having trouble choosing between financial priorities. Advice?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 5:00 PM on April 9, 2014 (17 comments)

Student loans for certificate program?

What options are available out there in regards to educational loans for certificate programs with a university?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 10:45 AM on April 9, 2014 (5 comments)

He loves me, I love him not

A few days ago my training partner/coach/ friend professed his feelings for me; I don't feel the same way. Help!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on April 8, 2014 (32 comments)

HR person at my company asked if I intend to have kids. What to do?

I was waiting with HR person and my manager for a meeting room to come free for a meeting about a project I want to start at work. HR manager casually asked about my upcoming wedding (I'm engaged and getting married soon), then asked if we'll have kids soon. How do I handle this?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:46 AM on April 8, 2014 (48 comments)

Should I be this mad at the airport, and if so, what do I do?

Anonymous because I'm not sure if legal action is a possibility. After many times of travelling with his CPAP machine with absolutely no problem, my SO was not allowed to board with it this time at our local airport. (There was a death in his family and he was flying on short notice.) They insisted it needed an FAA approval stamp or at the very least a letter from the manufacturer. We found the relevant letter on our smartphone but the airline employee (the one who was holding the machine hostage) insisted it had to be "on their letterhead." With only an hour before the flight took off, he had to go without it -for three nights. I called the TSA, and they were shocked. I called the relevant airline, and they put me on hold and then told me it was a local airport rule. I sent an email to the airport, and they claim it is an airline rule, and that I was misinformed, and that they were passing my email to the local rep of the airline. (after I responded.) I have not heard back so far.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 5:18 AM on April 8, 2014 (19 comments)

How can I let myself be vulnerable in my new relationship?

I think I have some messed up ideas about relationships, that are going to get in the way of me finding true intimacy and being a really good partner to someone. I want to get over these ideas but am terrified that acting in a more authentic and loving way will backfire. Hope me?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on April 7, 2014 (8 comments)

How to host a big party in a small place?

My partner and I are hosting a housewarming party and we've invited more people that I think we can accommodate. What's the best way to make sure the party goes smoothly and what are some things we can do to help things along?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on April 7, 2014 (17 comments)

How do I settle a housework dispute between me and my partner?

How do I settle a housework dispute between me and my partner?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on April 7, 2014 (26 comments)

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