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How to avoid saying why I really quit?

Due to really bad drama, I am about to submit my resignation to my position in the board of an organisation. How can I graciously avoid answering questions about my reasons?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:56 AM on August 18, 2017 (10 comments)

Long Employment Gap + Debilitating Depression

I've been unemployed and unoccupied for a year and a half and can't get moving on finding a new job. Complications: I'm depressed and lonely and anxious, have crap for social skills and no local friends, don't know how to explain my time off, and don't want another office job even though that's all I'm qualified to do. I understand this vicious cycle is feeding itself but don't know how to break out of it. I will also be alone at home for a week starting on Friday and am worried about this extended solitude's impact on my mental state. Please share practical and mental health solutions to help me get my shit together and get a job.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:11 AM on August 18, 2017 (10 comments)

I Have Two Cars, You Have None

A close relative of mine is in need of a car. I’d like to help out but I need help figuring out how in a way that feels good. Advice, please? More under the fold!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 10:41 PM on August 17, 2017 (15 comments)

Parenting tips for children with a mentally ill parent

I need parenting tips for children who have a parent with severe mental illness.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on August 17, 2017 (16 comments)

Resources for a partner unsure about parenthood?

My partner and I are both in our thirties. When we first started dating (mid 20s), I didn't want to have a baby, but I slowly changed my mind over the years. I've been very open about my mind changing. My partner is still on the fence about parenthood but thinks about the possibility and promised to think more about it. Meanwhile, I'm now at the point where I think about having a baby a several times a day, and it's definitely something I want to do in my life. I'm deeply saddened and worried by the fact that my partner is still unsure, and I'm hoping for resources that might help those who are unsure about parenthood (not including therapy, which is an option we're working on). Anecdotes, stories, articles, podcasts, and books are all good. Anything will help.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on August 17, 2017 (10 comments)

What do you do while you're in medical limbo?

About 6 weeks ago I started feeling inexplicably tired and dizzy, then gradually started having other symptoms. I've only missed a few days of work in total but it's draining my ability to do much else, and I don't know what's wrong with me. I've got another doctor's appointment in a few days but I think they're probably going to send me for more tests which could take a while. What do I do in the meantime?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 3:49 AM on August 16, 2017 (7 comments)

Please help me live with bedbugs

I live in a building that has ongoing bedbug infestations. I need coping tips for living with them for the next few years. Difficulty level: single, 30's, and actively dating.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on August 15, 2017 (19 comments)

Will I qualify for New York State paid family leave?

New York State recently introduced Paid Family Leave. I'm pregnant, and I need to make a decision that may affect my eligibility.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 8:59 AM on August 15, 2017 (2 comments)

Mr. Always Right

I just read this question and it basically mirrors my situation, minus the marriage. But I feel stupid because I still love parts of him and don't feel ready to leave although everyone is telling me to get the hell out. Help me deal with this situation in the best way possible and figure out the best course of action.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:15 AM on August 15, 2017 (33 comments)

Collaborative, university-like institutions out in the "real" world?

It's been 7 years since I graduated university (computer science), and aside from a few years of work at a startup, I've been working on app projects all on my own. I like the independence and the pursuit of my own destiny, but lately I've been feeling terribly lonely. More than anything, I've been missing the institutional feel of college.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:15 AM on August 15, 2017 (9 comments)

App for anonymous agitating

I would like to facilitate group chats/discussion for a group of people where comments would either be entirely anonymous or done via pseudonym. Ideally this would be phone-based. Can you please suggest an app?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:15 AM on August 15, 2017 (3 comments)

Two men enter, one man leaves

Very recently started dating a man from my friend group. How should I disclose to him that I was sleeping with another member of our group right up until we started dating?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on August 14, 2017 (15 comments)

Panic-regretting break up, how do I make it through this?

I decided to break up with him after finding out that he had been lying for months into our relationship. I feel heart broken and I'm regretting the decision and all his pleading started getting to me and sounded plausible the moment I saw him walk out the door.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:11 AM on August 14, 2017 (33 comments)

When communicating seems to make it worse

I tried to be open with my wife about my feelings for another person and it went wrong. Help?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:10 AM on August 14, 2017 (24 comments)

Keeping my own insecurity in check

I am a hardworking, high achieving woman of color in an extremely competitive field. A younger POC has recently started seeking my advice. I am happy to be as helpful as possible-- I want him to succeed!-- but I am also noticing myself feeling competitive and insecure, and sometimes have the urge to bring him down a notch. How do I keep these things in check?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:10 AM on August 14, 2017 (14 comments)

I want all Confederate monuments gone.

Many, many courthouses in Virginia still have confederate monuments. I want to find a way to have my local courthouse's Confederate monument removed. And, with any luck, inspire folks in other VA localities to start similar movements. What do I do to start this process? Advice? Links with info on how others have successfully pushed for the removal of Confederate monuments and flags?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 1:29 AM on August 13, 2017 (8 comments)

Linus in need of post-breakup blanket

I'm totally shaken after a breakup (and my response to it). What are some things I can do to regain my sense of self-respect and control, and feel emotionally safer?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 1:29 AM on August 13, 2017 (11 comments)

pre-marital counselling in NYC for Chinese-American/white couples?

I'm thinking seriously of marrying someone of a different culture (second-generation Chinese-American vs white and been here longer than the country). I'm looking for non-religious pre-martial counselling to help us figure out whether this is a good idea and how to make it work. I'm especially looking for someone with experience with this particular combination of cultures, who can guide us toward discussions of things where we might not realize we have very different assumptions. Personal recommendations would be great. Must be in NYC.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 1:29 AM on August 13, 2017 (7 comments)

Dental Phobia: National Sterilization Scandals Edition

I am Asian and live in an Asian country which just experienced two sterilization-related scandals in a row due to medical negligence. I have a dental appointment booked for Tuesday and I am terrified to go. What should I do?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:01 PM on August 11, 2017 (4 comments)

Need help or suggestions in reporting data falsification

I work for a contract company in a Science-y Field doing tech transfer. During our latest process, A Thing failed but was fixed quickly. It made 1/3 of the data collected in real time look awful. Cleaning up at the end of the process, I turn around to see my co-worker "fixing" a screenshot of the data in MS Paint.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:01 PM on August 11, 2017 (7 comments)

What can I buy to perform accurate no-contact architectural measuring?

The dream is to put a device in a secure fixed position, let it take images or whatever, and output accurate measurements of what it's seeing.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:25 PM on August 11, 2017 (5 comments)

Looking for legal resources to address pay case in federal government.

I work for the federal government. They messed up my HR, and I'm being told they don't know when they will fix it and that there will likely be no backpay when they do. This impacts me financially very greatly. What do I do, or where do I go to figure out what to do?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:23 AM on August 10, 2017 (3 comments)

Legalizing our love

We're a happy, communicative common-law couple, new homeowners, and planning to marry. We bring different assets and debts into the relationship. We'd like to draft a pre-nup that is actually FAIR, not just legal. Can you help us figure out what to consider? Details within.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on August 9, 2017 (10 comments)

Support group for non-traditional caregivers?

Hello metafilter, you've helped me in the past and I hope you can help me now. I'm a early-50's husband and father of two school-age children, and my wife is suffering from a series of chronic, debilitating medical issues that severely limit her daily activities ...
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 1:59 AM on August 9, 2017 (15 comments)

phd fit?

I'm starting a humanities PhD program this fall, which is awesome, except my research interests have changed big-time from what I described in my statement of purpose and the program (though really wonderful) is no longer a super great fit. I'm extremely sad and worried about this. Plus other stuff.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 1:59 AM on August 9, 2017 (13 comments)

Roof leak and mold in townhouse - I'm going bankrupt, aren't I?

I live in a townhouse as part of an HOA, and our side had a roof leak over my unit. The HOA kicked the can for too long and now I have mold. I'm pretty much going to go bankrupt, aren't I? More details inside.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 1:59 AM on August 9, 2017 (7 comments)

How to start finding other options for intimacy

I am in a basically sexless long term relationship, which for *reasons* needs to continue for the time being. I would really like some advice on coping with this along with help on how to start finding other partners for sexual contact.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:33 PM on August 8, 2017 (16 comments)

How to Choose a Technique, "Shop" for a Therapist?

Seeking new therapist after 15 years. Hoping answers to this might be meta-useful: (a) Does a listing exist, understandable to patients, of different therapeutic techniques? (b) How can you intelligently shop for a technique or therapist or life coach? (c) What metrics help you judge if it's working? After the fold, I describe some of my history/issues - (d) recommendations as to specific techniques or Chicago-based therapists would be useful.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 5:01 AM on August 8, 2017 (5 comments)

My cat just died... and I'm on vacation abroad

I just found out that my cat died well, the cat my family had for 17 years, I guess she was technically my parents cat) and I'm on a vacation in Europe and I don't get back for another week. I just feel so depressed and I don't want to do anything. How can I enjoy my vacation? I just feel awful.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 8:34 PM on August 7, 2017 (15 comments)

The best problem to have - investment advice needed, Australian edition

We have received an unexpected inheritance in the ballpark of $300k. We've read all the general advice for handling windfalls, and we have no debts, separate retirement savings, no immediate needs really. We just want to park it somewhere for 6-12mo while we figure out what to do longer term...where though? Should we just stick it in a term deposit attached to our bank account, or pick a managed Vanguard fund (does it matter which one?), or something else? As above, we're in Australia. Thank you in advance!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on August 6, 2017 (9 comments)

You are not my doctor. Um, who should be?

I'm a mid 40's white male, US, probably somewhere on the autism spectrum. Six years ago, after a progressive neurological collapse, I was eventually diagnosed with paired idiopathic vitamin B12 and D deficiencies. Continuing medical care has been essentially non-existent, often because there seems to be no one who understands the disorder. I would like to talk to someone with understanding of how recovery progresses and my particular case... who would that even be? Snowflakes are thataway...
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:56 PM on August 6, 2017 (7 comments)

How do I semi-urgent-care doctor?

I have a minor health issue (details below the fold, but think "minor infection" not "unknown major ailment."). I have insurance and should should see a doctor about it, but for various reasons, I'm not quite sure how.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:56 PM on August 6, 2017 (15 comments)

Awkward Living Situation

Roommate has overstayed his welcome. How do we (gently and compassionately) ask him to start packing?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 1:25 PM on August 6, 2017 (12 comments)

coder or liar?

I am talking online to someone I suspect may not be who they say they are. They claimed to be a software developer, but their description of what they do doesn't ring true. Please sense check it for me if you are a real developer.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 3:31 AM on August 5, 2017 (32 comments)

German Medical Insurance

I am a German citizen living and working abroad. My company provides Medical Insurance. I would like to do my own medical insurance in Germany. What do I have to do.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 3:31 AM on August 5, 2017 (1 comment)

10 and 7 year old - should I let them be latchkey kids?

We currently pay $450/month for afterschool care for our two boys, 7 and 10. They mostly color or play boardgames in the cafeteria, and they like it OK. We can afford this, though of course it would be nice to have that money freed up for savings or family trips. We already let the kids walk to and from school together (about a 20-minute walk). If we were to stop using afterschool care, the kids would walk home and be home alone for about 45 minutes to an hour before a parent arrived. They are generally pretty responsible and get along with each other OK. They don't seem to have strong feelings about this idea one way or the other. We have experimented with letting them stay home alone for short periods (for instance 20 minutes while I run out to get milk) and it's gone just fine. I can't figure out if this idea is empowering, free-range parenting or short-sighted miserliness! I'm totally torn and would love additional perspectives!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on August 4, 2017 (49 comments)

How to back out of a job interview process?

I applied to two jobs. I got an offer from Job #1 and accepted it. Then I got invited to an interview with Job #2 and went. (I assumed I was out of the running when I accepted with #1.) I realize now that this is kind of a Big Deal and could use some advice about how to get out of it.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on August 4, 2017 (21 comments)

$0 on rent/mortgage in credit card application or a made-up number?

Is it better to say you spend $0 per month on rent or mortgage in a credit card application, or use a made-up number, if you don't technically have either expense (but have an mostly-equivalent expense)?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on August 3, 2017 (12 comments)

Interviewing for a postdoc position because it's nearby

My partner is giving a Skype interview for a postdoc position to which she applied primarily because it is close to where I'll be starting a job as an assistant professor (although she is otherwise qualified for and interested in the position). If she gets the job, it will entail changing continents. I assume they will ask why she wants to move. What level of disclosure is appropriate?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 9:28 AM on August 3, 2017 (9 comments)

Is this Ethical?

Employee has been on probation for a variety of complaints. Now they are leaving with triple the normal severance package. Details below. You are not my lawyer, laws vary from state to state, etc.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 9:27 AM on August 3, 2017 (19 comments)

Help me stop weeping

I am in the middle of a depressive episode and I can't stop crying.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:43 AM on August 3, 2017 (22 comments)

Dentist's office demanding money I don't have and didn't expect to pay.

Dentist's office demanding money I don't have and didn't expect to pay. The title is the short version - more explanation below.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 8:00 AM on August 2, 2017 (14 comments)

I'm down on myself. Please help me be brave.

I'm struggling with depression (diagnosed, under treatment). What I need are written reminders to help me resist the lying internal monologue. Maybe you have a favorite passage, essay, or mantra that might help me be braver in shutting this voice down?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 3:27 AM on August 2, 2017 (38 comments)

Very bad review

I just got out from an evaluation that was generalized, vague, and had some outright lies in it.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 3:27 AM on August 2, 2017 (15 comments)

Car insurance conundrum

One day when my spouse and I weren't home, a stranger doing a three-point turn in our city driveway hit our leased car hard enough to do nearly $900 worth of damage to the bumper. They then merrily drove away. Our car insurance would cover fixing this (minus a $500 deductible) but punish us with a raised premium. Paying out of pocket would be an inconvenient but affordable expense. I'm more stressed out about this than is probably reasonable. What do we do?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 3:26 AM on August 2, 2017 (8 comments)

Adoption group posting "private" email on Facebook

My beloved and elderly adopted pet was euthanized a few days ago, and I thought I did the right thing by sending an email (not Facebook message) to the group he came from to let them know of his passing and to thank them.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on August 1, 2017 (20 comments)

Mismatched libidos or expectations for sex in a long term relationship?

My partner and I are in our mid 30's, in a heterosexual relationship for less than one year. We both very much want this relationship to be good for the long haul. Last night I initiated a conversation about the amount of sex we're having (not much), which ended with me in tears and him frustrated. I'm hoping for some advice on how to revisit this conversation. NSFW inside.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on August 1, 2017 (27 comments)

How do I build a career in software from $0?

I've applied to 125 web development jobs with almost no response, and have hit the end of the road. My wife and I will be flat broke and moving from NYC to the Midwest to regroup. Short question: how do I strategize and execute to bounce back? Details follow.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on July 31, 2017 (33 comments)

How can a child suppress puberty & what are the medical considerations?

My child is non-binary. They are ten years old, biologically born a female, and told us about a year ago the are unsure which sex they identify with and want to be considered non-binary for the time being. We are of course supportive and have very candid conversation with them about gender identity and let them know that whatever decision they make we support. The problem is their other parent (we are divorced) seems to be pushing them to have puberty suppression therapy. Does anyone know what this entails, what are the dangers, and any other medical considerations we should know about, especially at this young age of 10? Any information would be greatly appreciated!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 5:51 AM on July 31, 2017 (12 comments)

Help me name my healthcare co-design consultancy

Hello, hive mind! Can you help me name my business? I work in the field of healthcare co-design and co-production. Basically, I help healthcare and social service providers improve their practice by teaching them how to collaborate authentically with the people who use their service. This can mean facilitating workshops between service providers and staff, running staff training sessions, supporting consumer representatives to have their views heard, developing policies and frameworks, etc. What should I name my consultancy?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 5:50 AM on July 31, 2017 (3 comments)

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