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Being happy being child free?

I want to have kids, my wife doesn't. The discussion is over so I'm now facing the reality that one of my life goals will never happen. This is really difficult to come to terms with. How do I let it go, not resent my wife and live a fulfilling life possibly with a missing piece?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:22 AM on September 4, 2015 (38 comments)

Got a generous job offer but am having trouble deciding

I'm a recent college grad about to start a master's in computer science. I'm in a very fortunate position in that I've been interning at a national lab in New Mexico this summer and have been offered a fellowship that would cover my tuition, pay me a stipend while in school, and give me a full time job after graduation. But I'm not sure that this is what I want for my career.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:21 AM on September 4, 2015 (7 comments)

Help me avoid losing my mind over work stress

Over the next month my job is going to be insane. I'm in charge of a major initiative type thing that means I will be working pretty much almost every day this month, doing things that stress me out such as leading tours, speaking in front of hundreds of people, etc. This stupid thing hasn't even begun yet and I'm losing sleep. How do I cope?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 10:22 PM on September 3, 2015 (7 comments)

Getting divorced. Lawyer or mediation?

Getting divorced in Illinois. I still love my husband, but cannot remain married to him for many reasons, one of which being that I can no longer take care of him emotionally and financially without ruining my own life. My first instinct was to try to settle this using mediation or collaborative divorce (I don't even understand 100% what this is, honestly). Mostly because I feel enormously guilty for leaving, don't want to make it harder on him, and hope that we can still be a part of each other's lives. No kids, so custody isn't an issue. But there are some major financial issues, and some of the things he's said worry me. Sorry, this is kind of a long one.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on September 3, 2015 (40 comments)

Getting A Vasectomy in NYC and Minimizing Cost of Elective Surgery

Like it says in the title - how do I go about getting a vasectomy. Is this the sort of thing I speak with my primary care physician about? What about minimizing cost? Do I speak with my insurer and find out what common and customary is?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 8:57 AM on September 3, 2015 (10 comments)

Lexapro + Increased Flatulence

Lexapro has me farting all day long. I did not have this problem prior to starting the medication. Help!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 8:53 AM on September 3, 2015 (6 comments)

Dealing with workplace gossip

The boss has a husband who is gossiping about me to my co-workers. Can anything be done about this?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:46 PM on September 2, 2015 (11 comments)

Sam-E, Ashwagandha, etc: Supplements that help depression/anxiety?

I suffer from anxiety, anhedonia and depression. I just had to wean off of yet another AD, and am tired of searching a medication that treats my symptoms with minimal side effects. My therapist suggested looking into Sam-e and ashwagandha in the meantime, and my psych doc said it would be worth a try. Has anyone had success with supplements such as Sam-E? What did you take, and did you notice a difference? I'm trying to sort through what is scientifically-backed and what is woo. Anecdata is welcome as well.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on September 2, 2015 (17 comments)

My mother's passive aggression hurts me. How to deal?

My mom is a lovely, intelligent, caring person. She also has lifelong untreated dysthymia. What's the best way to deal with her frequent, subtle passive aggression? (Wall of detail inside, feel free to skip to TL;DR if you have general advice for coping with passive aggression in family context.)
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:02 AM on September 2, 2015 (21 comments)

Pretty - No - Really Late Taxes

How do I choose a tax attorney?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on September 1, 2015 (15 comments)

The Lonely Room is a bad name for something you do with friends.

We're looking for a name for a new game and hobby store. Metafilter is super great at naming things (like cats, blogs, food carts, etc.) and we've put our minds to coming up with a name but have run out of ideas that we both like.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 1:30 PM on September 1, 2015 (37 comments)

Sort of witness to terrible car accident

I was waiting at a light this weekend, and there was a terrible accident between two cars coming from opposite directions in the intersection. It all happened so fast, and there were already people running towards the car that got the brunt of the accident, and a person on the phone calling 911. I learned later that there were actually fatalities, which didn't surprise me because I got a look at the one car, and it was so bad. My question is: the police are asking for anyone who may have witnessed the accident to contact them to give a statement. I, unfortunately, don't seem to even know if I actually saw the moment of impact or not. It's very odd, and I keep wracking my brain trying to remember everything that I saw. Should I come forward, or will I just be a useless witness?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 6:04 AM on September 1, 2015 (18 comments)

Do I have a family history of breast cancer?

Do I have a family history of breast cancer? I never know quite how to answer this question, because typically they are asking just about your mother and sisters. Full details inside.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 6:04 AM on September 1, 2015 (13 comments)

Neighborhoods and housing prices near Bethesda.

I'm looking at a job in Bethesda, and I'm trying to figure out if I can afford to live in the area. I'm particularly interested in walkable, integrated or historically African-American neighborhoods.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 6:03 AM on September 1, 2015 (8 comments)

Legitimately dom or mentally unstable?

If it's apparent that a guy's interest in being a dom is linked to emotional issues, is that a red flag?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on August 31, 2015 (17 comments)

Middleman when contractor and vendor disagree?

The edges of both cabinets next to the dishwasher have swollen and expanded from steam coming out of the dishwasher. They were only installed a couple of months ago. But who pays for the new cabinets: the contractor who installed the cabinets & dishwasher, or the appliance store who sold us the dishwasher (which leaked the steam that made the cabinets swell)? And who can cut this Gordian Knot of personalities for me?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on August 31, 2015 (6 comments)

Requesting a single room for a corporate conference, details inside

I am considering requesting a single hotel room for an upcoming week long conference due to anxiety/insomnia. I’m required by my employer to obtain a doctor's note with information supporting my request if I do. Therefore, I'm trying to understand the pros and cons, professionally and otherwise, so I can evaluate my options.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on August 31, 2015 (18 comments)

Asking for a bonus agreement two months after hire?

I need to make more money. Not so many snowflakes in this one. How do I get on target earnings in my job?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on August 31, 2015 (6 comments)

Looking for my Career Path

I've been out of school for a few years, and have had trouble finding my career path, due in part to my distractibility and lack of certain skills. Difficulty: Bad at Math
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on August 31, 2015 (3 comments)

Getting a refund on furniture that arrived damaged.

My sister bought a couch several months ago that arrived with a tear. The store sent a replacement which was also in terrible condition and which they refused to accept. Now the store is offering a partial refund, but my sister and her husband just want their money back at this point. Is this realistic?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:49 PM on August 30, 2015 (9 comments)

Unemployed/transition phase - how to handle future dating issues?

How should I let someone know whom I'm potentially dating that I'm unemployed and going through a transition phase in life? Should I even be dating? Any advice.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 8:26 PM on August 29, 2015 (16 comments)

Where can I find dollar store pregnancy tests in NYC?

Where can I find those cheap dollar store pregnancy tests in NYC *right now*? This shouldn't be that hard, but all the cheap-o dollar stores in my neighborhood don't seem to carry them anymore. Do you know of a store in Brooklyn (preferably off the B/Q) or in Manhattan (south of 34th St, also preferably off the B/Q) that carries those super cheap at-home pregnancy tests?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on August 28, 2015 (3 comments)

My lawyer is refusing to share work product

My lawyer is unwilling to email me an appeal they have written for me. They say I can review it in their office, but as policy they do not email 'work product' to clients. This is frustrating to me because I feel I can better understand the documents if I read them at home, rather than being put on the spot in a meeting. Is this normal?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on August 28, 2015 (11 comments)

Lump in breast; what do?

I have a lump in my breast and I need to know what to expect when I go to the doctor.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on August 28, 2015 (12 comments)

Transitioning to a new home during divorce.

My partner and I are breaking up after 20 years. Neither of us trusts the other’s judgement and dividing our only asset has become hugely problematic. We purchased our home 18 years ago as a fixer-upper in what has since become a very desirable location, so there’s a large amount of equity in it. I never gave proper thought about how we’d move on from it, meaning this is one of those “explain it to me like I’m five” inquiries. I’d like to have sensible questions to ask at our bank meeting tomorrow. We have a meeting next week with a therapist and have agreed to some kind of professional mediation in the future. The thing is… my partner demands that we extend our joint mortgage-backed line of credit to allow her to purchase (outright) a smaller place in the countryside. For 10 years, she’s only done part-time work for my home business, so she won’t have any income going forward (except for support payments). I doubt she could get bridge financing under her own name. I want to avoid being drawn deeper into debt with her.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on August 27, 2015 (30 comments)

I need to trump Trump.

Tonight, I found out that my parents, both registered Democrats, support Donald Trump. I need to explain to them why this is bad.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 1:01 PM on August 27, 2015 (50 comments)

How to ask my coworker to stop chewing gum so loudly?

My coworker chews gum really loudly and it annoys me. Best way to tell him (if at all)?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 1:00 PM on August 27, 2015 (18 comments)

Dealing with impostor syndrome in graduate admissions

How do I put my achievements into context as I apply to graduate schools, and not fall prey to impostor syndrome?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:39 AM on August 27, 2015 (11 comments)

Can we keep our relationship intact?

We want an open relationship. But we haven't talked it through. And now someone has shown up and she wants it to happen. Is that too much to ask? (Sorry but this is long.)
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 4:02 AM on August 26, 2015 (47 comments)

Any reason not to give away the apk file for an app?

I have an app on Google Play. It's sort of a niche app. Someone has contacted me and asked if I could send them the apk file because they plan to use the app on an emulator and thus cannot download it from Google Play. Is there any risk in doing this?I'
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 4:02 AM on August 26, 2015 (7 comments)

Help with marriage counseling?

My wife and I are recently separated and there's some weird dynamics going on. Would appreciate your thoughts. Long details within.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 4:01 AM on August 26, 2015 (40 comments)

Minimalist panty liners

I am looking for some very specific panty liners that I've bought before--I can't remember who makes them, though. Description is inside. Does this sound familiar?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:12 PM on August 25, 2015 (19 comments)

First time homebuyer loan

First time home buyer. Totally confused and stressed out! I was pre-approved for a loan that includes a CalHFA down payment assistance loan. (I'm in California, natch, Alameda County). We went into contract last week and now my mortgage broker is asking me to collect a bunch of paperwork and she told me I need to do an educational class for my CalHFA loan. So I start researching these loans a little more closely, and I think I'm over the income limit. Now... What?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 6:49 AM on August 25, 2015 (3 comments)

San Francisco Rental Squeeze

San Francisco apartment renting - is this how it really works? I'm looking for a new apartment in way-too-hot rental market of San Francisco. I found a place, and the unit looks great, but dealing with the property management company in a short amount of time has been a hassle (yes, welcome to San Francisco).
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 6:08 AM on August 24, 2015 (11 comments)

How to live with someone you're afraid of provoking?

How do you live with someone when you're not sure what might set off their temper? (Long term, hopefully you don't. But I mean, in the meantime.)
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on August 23, 2015 (100 comments)

dating with a messy past

How do I date with a promiscuous/unhealthy past and lots of issues about it?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:37 AM on August 22, 2015 (25 comments)

I could make up new ones, but I think that's illegal

My doctor lost my medical records. How do I proceed?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:37 AM on August 22, 2015 (10 comments)

Should I come clean about activity on Ashley Madison (married version)?

My email was in the Ashley Madison leak, and I am married. Should I fess up now?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on August 21, 2015 (43 comments)

Which permanent birth control method is safer and more effective?

If all goes well, we will shortly have our second child. Both my wife and I agree that we do not want any more children. Is it better for me to get a vasectomy or for my wife to get a tubal ligation?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on August 21, 2015 (16 comments)

Are there any good no-fee HSA providers?

I'm in Washington State with a Premera Blue Cross HSA HDHP. I'm maybe, finally, in a position to start funding an actual health savings account, not just pay my household's premiums (~$400/mo for two people) and treat my insurance as a lame catastrophic plan. I'm having trouble finding a good account provider, though, and would like some recommendations.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on August 21, 2015 (3 comments)

I'm not unethical ... so why is the realtor pushing me toward being so?

My father died last year leaving me a tiny bit of money. I'm using it to purchase a condo I will rent out. The realtor says: Well, you don't currently own a home so tell the bank it's your primary residence.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on August 21, 2015 (17 comments)

Has anyone done freelance graphic design for American Eagle Outfitters?

Hey everyone! I've got a tough decision in front of me... I am lucky enough to be in a position where I have to choose between two job offers. One of these companies is American Eagle Outfitters and I would be working as a graphic designer in the corporate office in Pittsburgh. The other job is at yet another big PGH company, but for a slightly different position. I know people that work or have worked for the second company, so I've got the scoop on that option... However, I don't have any "inside info" on working for AE. Essentially, my position at AE is being called a "freelance" job, but I'd be working in the office 5 days a week with varying hours (and I'd be a W2 employee). That is a bit confusing to me, as (through personal experience) the words "freelance" and "W2" usually don't go hand-in-hand. ;) Anyway, sorry... rambling! Has anyone here "freelanced" for AE Corporate in the past and can give me some info on how it went/what it was like/etc.? I've got a big decision to make by end of day Monday!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on August 21, 2015 (6 comments)

My email is in the Ashley Madision leak. Should I care?

So my email address is in the Ashley Madison hack. Not sure what to do, if anything. I am not married and never have been. I wasn't in a relationship when I signed up. In fact, I was just getting out of a relationship and I joined one night when I was feeling sad and lonely and I wanted to see what it was like. I thought AM was more for NSA relationships than specifically for cheaters. I'm a graduate student and I used my .edu address. This was really dumb, but I wasn't thinking straight at the time. So how worried should I be?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on August 20, 2015 (32 comments)

Help me be chill about my potential cold sores

Help me navigate potential oral HSV-1 exposure and my risks of contaminating other people.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 9:47 PM on August 19, 2015 (19 comments)

I mean I'm not saying no, but...

Okay, hiring managers and HR folks of AskMe. Suppose your company has a job opening, and you've interviewed a candidate. Things went pretty well, and you want to make that candidate an offer. You have your recruiter call and ask him for his salary requirements, and he gives you a number. What are some reasons why you might then come back and make an offer that is $10,000 more than what he was asking for?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 5:15 PM on August 19, 2015 (31 comments)

All happy workplaces are the same, but...

I'm having trouble respecting my boss.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 10:35 AM on August 19, 2015 (10 comments)

Sober in the big city

I live in New York City and I have a friend coming into town in a few weeks who is going through alcohol recovery. I'm looking for things to do in the city with them that lessen the presence of alcohol in the environment.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 10:34 AM on August 19, 2015 (14 comments)

Does jury dury service transfer across state lines?

My friend served jury duty in NY state and was told that he's now exempt from jury duty for 8 years in any state or federal court. I served jury duty less than 8 years ago in NY, moved to CT, and have now been called in CT. Can anyone point me to documentation of this law online so I can get out of serving in CT?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 8:23 AM on August 17, 2015 (10 comments)

Should I break up with my boyfriend?

I've become bored with my five-year relationship and desperately need change, but am scared to throw it all away.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 5:46 PM on August 16, 2015 (46 comments)

Nice is creepy

I am really struggling with developing relationships with nice nonsocially awkward people. Having gone to a few different cbt therapists, I have made major improvements with anxiety/perfectionism/feeling judged. However, when I start chatting with someone who seems not at all socially awkward and appropriately nice, I feel my skin start to crawl and distance myself. How can I fix this?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 10:44 PM on August 15, 2015 (9 comments)

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