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Boyfriend extremely pushy with sex

I have been seeing someone for 4 months. Quite a few times he was very pushy with having sex while I am sick or during period when I made it clear that I don't want to. He never actually crosses the line in forcing me to do it but I still feel weirded out.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on August 3, 2015 (73 comments)

Adult child with disabilities, SSI, and Medicaid; crossing state lines

A family member, 26 years old, "C," is currently hospitalized in a behavioral health unit in another state. They want to discharge him this week. He is currently homeless (but only upon entering the hospital -- he has not lived on the streets). He receives SSI for his disabilities, and I am his payee. He has Medicaid in the other state. He wants to return to Northern California for treatment. More below the fold.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:53 AM on August 3, 2015 (7 comments)

Am I a mystic or do I need a lot of medication?

I've always been a skeptic, rock solid atheist and (in the loose definition of the word) empiricist. This year, before finding out I had a completely random but often fatal heart cyst, I began to hear my cat talk. Six months later, the cyst has been removed and we're.... still.... talking. Is there any way I'm not crazy? There have been some chance occurrences I can't explain.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:53 AM on August 3, 2015 (43 comments)

Several losses all at once

A friend of mine decided they do not want to be friends any more. Because of additional circumstances, it has also meant losing a supportive community I'd been part of for a few years. I'm surprised by the intensity of my grief and finding it difficult to cope. I am looking for resources / books / personal accounts / tips to help me get through this.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on August 2, 2015 (13 comments)

My Mother Took Out a Life Insurance Policy On Me Without My Consent

How do I make sure she doesn't ever benefit from my untimely death?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on August 2, 2015 (19 comments)

Graduate advisor thinks I'm being taken advantage of at my new job.

I am a new teacher and also enrolled in an M.A. program for secondary education. Recently the head of the Education program at my university called me and gave a piece of her mind. She wants to contact either the principal or the superintendent. Should I take her up on this offer? Need to decide soon.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on August 2, 2015 (11 comments)

22 year old in need of career/schooling advice :)

I am a 22 year old female and live in the US. Currently I'm looking for career and school advice. Making decisions is so hard for me though because I tend to overthink and be doubtful of myself. Advice?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:58 AM on August 2, 2015 (13 comments)

How to handle having kids after everyone else around you has

Our friends and family have kids already at one and two+ years old. We're at that age where people in our social circle have started families. And we're not pregnant... again. We're overall positive, though, and this AskMe isn't about getting pregnant. We're very confident that it'll happen, or we'll adopt, or whatever – no need to give answers about that, please. But, I agonize that by the time we have a kid, that all of the kids of our friends will be too old to play together, that our friends will have moved on from wanting to hang out with a newborn, that they'll have "passed us by", or that basically we won't be able to share experiences with them and in turn we'll lose them as friends. So, I'm looking for support or advice from folks who might have been in the same situation as us. Did you end up having kids a few years after your friends/social circle? Did it turn out alright? Any positives?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on August 1, 2015 (26 comments)

Moving on from past self-harm

I used to self harm a long time ago. The scars have faded to flat, silvery marks, though they're visible. In dark moments, my brain uses them as a stick to beat me with. How do I come to terms with them?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:46 AM on August 1, 2015 (14 comments)

Tell us why we need a lawyer.

Boyfriend was hit by a car while bicycling. Tell us about getting a lawyer.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:46 AM on August 1, 2015 (23 comments)

How to help my mom with the upcoming death of her dog

My mother's 13 year old dog has stomach cancer and has been throwing up every day. Given the way the past two dogs died within days of my father last year, I'm pretty sure this is going to hit her really hard. How do I help? (Snowflake details inside)
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:46 AM on August 1, 2015 (14 comments)

Can I go to AA meetings and still use cocaine recreationally?

My drinking is out of control. I've tried to cut down and I can't. It's ruining my relationship, making me irritable and anxious throughout the day, and I've made incredibly dangerous decisions while drunk. I have no one to talk to about this and I want to try AA. However, I would like to continue using coke on occasion.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:08 AM on July 31, 2015 (26 comments)

Need informant from the human species to help me understand their ways

What type of therapist, counselor, or other "mental health professional" would be best suited to help me understand my difficulties with sociality?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:07 AM on July 31, 2015 (26 comments)

contacting employment lawyer

I need to reach out to an employment lawyer regarding a recent discrimination-related incident at my workplace. I have the lawyer's contact information. What next?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on July 30, 2015 (10 comments)

Dramatically overcharged by service provider...how to move forward?

We've been overcharged by thousands by a service provider that can't refund the charges immediately, but wants to pay us back over time. We paid via credit card, but doing a chargeback would likely put the provider out of business. What is the right thing to do?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on July 29, 2015 (72 comments)

Need help finding a life insurance company

What's the least expensive 20+ year term life policy in the US for a diabetic with no other health issues? Is there anything under $1,000 a year?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on July 29, 2015 (6 comments)

How do I sleep alone again?

I'm ending a relationship of 5 years (37F). It's hard and sad to begin with, and then there's the fact that I have always hated sleeping alone, and I'm beside myself with anxiety over doing it again. What do I do?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:57 AM on July 29, 2015 (24 comments)

Alcohol problems, in a closed community

I am drinking more than I want to be drinking. I don't know that it meets the criteria for a "problem" ... except that I can't seem to cut down. I live in a closed, orderly community where I don't have control over the availability of alcohol, or access to an AA meeting. I need help with a) some strategies to cut down or cut off my drinking and b) online support. Details inside.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:57 AM on July 29, 2015 (27 comments)

I want a divorce, he doesn't

After a long consideration phase, I have decided that I want a divorce but my partner is refusing to start the formal process. What can I do?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:57 AM on July 29, 2015 (25 comments)

Foreign income exclusion via physical presence test?

I am a U.S. citizen. I moved to a foreign country on July 1, and will officially started earning income in the foreign country on August 1. If I quit and move back to the U.S. on July 1, 2016, will I receive foreign income exclusion on my taxes for both the 2015 and 2016 tax years?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:46 PM on July 28, 2015 (4 comments)

Doing the networking dance

A few weeks ago i ran into an acquaintance and mentioned that I was looking for a new job. She said that she knew the CEO of a company that she thought I would be a good fit for, and gave me his and the company's name, along with permission to mention that I got his info from her. What do I do with this?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on July 28, 2015 (5 comments)

Is 511 Rideshare a useful transit option in the SF Bay Area?

I've got a job offer in San Rafael. Great! I live in San Francisco without a car. Boo! Since public transit outside of SF proper is a nightmare and buying a car is a deal-breaker for me, is 511 Rideshare a reliable option?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on July 28, 2015 (10 comments)

How to ethically spend/allocate leftover grant funds?

Hi. I work at a nonprofit organization, and we have a non-governmental grant that pays for my salary and program expenses. It's coming up on the end of the grant year, and I have leftover funds. I'm not sure I agree with a directive coming from my boss about how to allocate the leftover funds in the budget. I need some people with on-the-ground nonprofit experience to tell me if my ethical line is stricter than the general best practices one.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 8:29 AM on July 28, 2015 (12 comments)

Middle aged blues. Just got fired, what now?

I was fired two weeks ago, and I'm devastated. Special snowflake details inside...
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 4:51 AM on July 28, 2015 (22 comments)

How do I breakup with my partner in a way that is fair?

I know I need to breakup with my partner but I have several concerns and would like to ask the community for some advice. We have been dating for about 9 months and I have been away on a job for about the last 2, will be back next week and I am feeling guilt about the details of the breakup even though I know it has to happen.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 6:43 PM on July 27, 2015 (18 comments)

Help me be a nice mom

How can I interact more with my kid at times when I'm super annoyed by her?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:52 PM on July 25, 2015 (24 comments)

i love you, but your happiness is smothering me

As someone with a history of transcience and instability, can I be happy in a relationship with someone who's had a very conventional life? A looooong explanation follows.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:52 PM on July 25, 2015 (16 comments)

How to tell when people actually don't like me?

I feel like I'm having a hard time making the transition from friends that I see at parties to friends that I can call up for a random happy hour or the like. The anxiety-ridden part of my brain has me convinced that this is because these people don't actually like me. How can I discern the truth and take next steps?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 9:40 AM on July 25, 2015 (11 comments)

wellbutrin worries

I am in the process of starting medication for major depression. I just quit Prozac after a few months (with MD's approval) because it was actually making me much more depressed. Wellbutrin is the doctor's next suggestion and I just started on it but I have a question.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 7:05 AM on July 25, 2015 (30 comments)

Help me come out to my psychiatrist!

I have an upcoming appointment with my psychiatrist at the end of the month. I want to tell her that I'm transgendered and want to start HRT. I have a general outline of the things I want to say, but I want to make sure I'm not missing anything significant. Snowflakes: Bipolar II, broke up with my partner about three-four months back. Insurance via N. California Kaiser.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 9:56 PM on July 24, 2015 (11 comments)

Is there anything I can do to reduce the amount of this bill?

A bill went missing two years ago. Now the interest has made the amount huge.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on July 24, 2015 (8 comments)

How can I turn my mind off from these pervasive thoughts?

I recently suffered a near catastrophic medical experience and am having emotional difficulties dealing with the aftermath. I had been ignoring symptoms for days and only went to hospital because my spouse and kids were leaving town for a few days and figured what the heck, go to the ER, it would be a pain for them to come back abruptly. At the hospital, I had emergency surgery that was unnecessarily risky (I'm an experienced medical professional, so please, assume I know what I'm talking about) in that it could have led to an intraoperative complication that would have left my 5-year survival at less than 25%. I also would have been in the same boat if I chose to ignore my symptoms. In the end, surgery was successful and what was thought malignant turned out to be benign. I have some lifelong medical follow-up to pursue, but for all intents and purposes I'm OK know. So what's my question?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:55 AM on July 24, 2015 (26 comments)

Working with a technical recruiter

I'm considering working with a recruiting firm to find a new job. Is this a good idea? How do I do this to make it work to my benefit the best?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:54 AM on July 24, 2015 (7 comments)

Will I ever be able to be trusted if I have been "the other man"?

My girlfriend is having a difficult time trusting me after I revealed I had in the past canoodled with a girl who had a boyfriend.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 8:10 PM on July 23, 2015 (66 comments)

What do I do with this money?

I find myself in possession of $2500 that isn't mine, and due to a series of events I'm not sure what to do with it.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 9:01 AM on July 23, 2015 (26 comments)

What is the most politically correct way to say you don't want kids?

Neither I, nor my partner, ever want kids. One problem- due to my profession, 85% of my clients are pregnant women, my services center around childbirth, and potential clients almost always ask me about having kids. Polite, cheerful, brief, honest replies ("No, not for us") have lost me potential clients. Suggestions from the hive mind?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on July 22, 2015 (51 comments)

Help me come up with a job title

I will soon be starting a new role at the school I work at that combines a lot of different stuff that I'm currently doing. I want to come up with a title that emcompasses all three jobs.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:51 PM on July 21, 2015 (5 comments)

Did I mess up my security clearance by confirming other citizenship?

I didn't know I was a citizen of another country, as well as of the US, at the time I got a position of public trust clearance. I now know that I am, and I know because I asked the other country and they said "yep, sure are." Did I screw up my clearance?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:50 PM on July 21, 2015 (14 comments)

What should my job title be for this communications work I do?

I need help coming up with a job title that is related to communications and writing. Would folks in the field take a look at what I do and offer some ideas? The goal is to get a job title that reflects what I do, but also positions me well for when my career progresses beyond my current role.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 11:50 PM on July 21, 2015 (12 comments)

Low-fee checking with 2-factor authentication & fast check deposits?

I'm shopping for a new basic personal checking account at a bank or credit union in the L.A. area, because I no longer qualify to get the monthly fee waived at my current bank. Must-haves: Need to deposit paper checks reliably, with a fast availability of funds. Online banking must have two factor authentication. Lower fees: say, under $10... under $5 would be better... free would be excellent! I've put a list together... can you help me think of other candidates?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 8:24 PM on July 20, 2015 (9 comments)

Saving a Friendship... the "plus 3 year old kid" edition

My very treasured friendship of ten years has become very challenging. The issue is: when my husband and I hang out with my friend, her husband, and their kid, the hubbies hang out and talk shop together, and I hang out with my friend and her kid. I try to help, but I'm kinda ignored and really bored. And I actually LIKE kids.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 1:13 PM on July 20, 2015 (40 comments)

What To Expect When You're Totally Neurotic

I'm in my first trimester of pregnancy (Week 7) and making myself miserable worrying about all the ways I might be injuring the baby. How can I return to a more balanced state of mind about this?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 8:32 AM on July 20, 2015 (23 comments)

My dog does bark but my neighbour is an asshole

Our dog has been barking but we're trying everything to stop it. However the neighbour is going mental about it and won't stop texting me or emailing me about it. I admit some culpability for dog... but this is too much. Help! It's really wearing on my mental health.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 3:03 AM on July 19, 2015 (24 comments)

Please explain this fraud

A fraudulent order was placed on Apple online store using partners credit card, contact info, and secondary/Apple ID. Please help use figure out how and why this happened, and what else we need to do to protect ourselves.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 3:02 AM on July 19, 2015 (4 comments)

Young anxious student out of Lexapro on first trip abroad to London

My young cousin is on her first international trip and also one of her first trips away from home in London on a short study abroad trip. She is supposed to travel home Monday but unexpectedly ran out of Lexapro this week, which she takes for anxiety. She's now incredibly anxious. She was able to alleviate the anxiety by going to see Wicked last night, but now the rest of her weekend is looming ahead of her and she's alone. No earlier flights available. Study abroad program can't/won't help. Can anyone provide advice on emergency NHS assistance for a non EU citizen on a weekend? We're just trying to get her through to her flight home Monday.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 8:45 PM on July 18, 2015 (12 comments)

Help me guide someone through fair use in scholarship

Help me guide someone through fair use in scholarship. Or not, as appropriate.

I work in academic technology support. We were recently contacted by a faculty member asking for help downloading videos from YouTube so that they can host them on our institution's private video streaming service. Our first instinct is to push back, shut them down and maybe start monitoring and deleting because of the possibility of copyright infringement. But, since my understanding of fair use in academia is fuzzy (possibly because the intersection of fair use and scholarship is so fuzzy) I thought I should see if there's anyone here who has handled a similar situation and can provide guidance, copyright education resources, sample policies and/or advice.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:24 PM on July 18, 2015 (14 comments)

Therapist/Counselor recommendations in Edmonton, AB?

I'm looking for a therapist/counselor in Edmonton, but I'm having a hell of a time finding one. There are some relationship issues that I'd like to work on. Are there any really good ones in the Downtown/University area or in North Edmonton that anyone can recommend? It looks like there are a lot of good ones in the south side of the city (and in the surrounding areas), but it's not really feasible for me to travel that far.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on July 18, 2015 (2 comments)

How can I rebuild my self-esteem in the wake of his porn addiction?

My husband appears to prefer porn as his primary sexual partner. I'm not against porn, but I thought part of the agreement couples had was that porn was an appetizer and sex is the main course. It's killing me. I know I need to leave, but I live out of state from my family and friends and don't have anyone where I live with whom I can ask to stay. How do I remember his intimacy problems/porn addiction are about him (per my therapist) and not internalize all this more than I already have until I can cut the cord?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 5:02 AM on July 18, 2015 (31 comments)

Career Advice Filter: what am I?

I've given out the odd bit of career advice here, but now I find myself in my own bored, unhappy rut. Jobhunting throws up hundreds of results because I am a jack-of-all-trades, but all I can muster for all the options is total apathy. Help!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:35 AM on July 18, 2015 (4 comments)

Searching for answers regarding lack of success in romance

Why am I also so disappointed and unsuccessful when it comes to dating, romance, and relationships?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by Anonymous at 12:35 AM on July 18, 2015 (12 comments)

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