there are very few truly international sports where the US (and other big countries) does not dominate completely

You rugby-hating cricket-illiterate morons make me vomit up bile on my snooker table.
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 2:38 PM on September 10, 2009

I don't quite understand what would have happened if he couldn't provide id to the cops. Is it illegal for a person to talk a walk without id in New Jersey?
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 5:12 AM on August 15, 2009

My understanding is that sexual intercourse began in 1963, between the end of the Chatterley ban and the Beatles first LP.
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 8:31 AM on June 16, 2009

Umm, Hello? Have none of you horrible, moronic fucking idiots ever read Isaac Azimov's Nightfall?

The only way our civilization can survive the awful horror of the naked heavens - pinning us into insignificance with the weight of their billion-light-year transendence - is if we blot out the starry infinite with our meager bulb-pollution.

I, for one, welcome the self-enforced ignorance of the vast and crushing span of the... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 2:47 PM on June 14, 2009

Your honour, we submit that in the current matter the defendant's Jesus privilege is fatally compromised by our client's Buddha advantage, and, notwithstanding the other side's appeal to Mohammad rights, our client's Vishnu permission and Jehovah immunity clearly establish that an Odin benefit is due. In the alternate, the defendant's Zeus obligation merely complicates his Horus detriment and leaves his position open to some kind of Ahura Mazda disability.

My client... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 7:35 AM on June 1, 2009

This article is great!

As a Caucasian male in today’s society, I enjoy many invisible advantages (McIntosh, 1998).

It is well established that I have an extremely large penis, which I twirl with panache (Klienfurter, 2002). I am also extremly talented in the arts of sporkbending and silhoutte puppetry (Schnitzelfusser, 1999). In summer months my temperature drops by 3 degrees and I fart cooling breezes onto the blotchy faces... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 8:54 AM on June 1, 2009

Is it so difficult to simply apologise for your small mistake?
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 3:05 AM on May 3, 2009

"Thanks, Sova; I'm sticking with my original skepticism"

This agglomeration of bizarre symbols constitutes the entire "languagehat text" - an artifact and mystery as old as time. Discovered in a dank corner of the ancient website "metafilter" - and whose carbon dating suggests that it was composed as far back as yesterday - the pictograms hint at the possibility of an actual human language being regularly used by the... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 3:53 PM on April 24, 2009

ABSTRACTS FROM PHILOSOPHY REVIEW LETTERS B

Racing the Tortiose: Zeno vs. Experimental Data

This paper outlines a series of 100-metre races held under scientific conditions between a young, virile sprinter and a tortoise. The results provide some empyrical evidence for the falsity of Zeno's famous hypothesis.

A River Runs Through It: Challenging Heraclitus'... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 2:39 PM on March 5, 2009

In their seminal paper

OK - it sounds pretty seminal. But my question here is: just how seminal is this paper?

I've seen a lot of "seminal" papers in my time - some were literally oozing seminality, some had only the faintest whiff of semin. I've personally worked pretty damn hard to make some of my own papers are seminal as possible in the short time I have to write and semify them - with various... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 12:15 PM on March 3, 2009

Should have said "pretty much the only way to successfully reduce population growth is to raise living standards and provide an reasonable expectation of economic stability

Well I think that we should give nuclear war a shot before trying out YOUR crazy theory.
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 2:58 PM on February 16, 2009

This isn't a post about Paul Keating the man, though I think he deserves one some time.

Well heck, I'd "give him one". Look at those fucking jowls - that's some SEXY MOTHERFUCKING GRAVITAS right there.

Basically, If coveting an injection of hot fiscal stimulus from Paul J. is "left," I don't want to be right.
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 3:00 PM on February 4, 2009

Have we had a link to yer man's colonoscopy yet, or do we feel we're doing a good enough job of getting as far as possible up his arse already?

Listen buddy - you really need to take a reality check, and stop posting crap like this.

Just try to understand that those of us who care about politics are excited about Obama - and, before the too-soon election is decided, in this beautiful moment of anticipation, we can feel... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 3:14 PM on October 22, 2008

I have no need for no-knead bread: I like to knead. I need to squeeze
bread with my hands, and even knees, or with my head. And any other breed
of bread that needs no kneading is not pleasing. If fact, if no-knead bread
I spy or even breath, I start to seethe, and needles of unease start to unthread
me by degrees: I sneeze, I freeze, I weaze and know that I'll drop dead
if no bread that needs a kneading is pretty soon before me spread.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 10:16 AM on October 9, 2008

I saw Ms. Hynde (accompanied by another guitarist, whose name I do not wish to recall) play a benefit for Save the Rhino in London, a couple months back, and she was by far the best thing on the stage (the MC, in particular, was terrible). Bill Bailey joined her to do a cover of Always on my Mind, which was pretty funny.

This anecdote has no value save to lead into my inept theory that Save the Rhino and organisation like it represent (to my mind) the primacy of... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 8:14 AM on October 5, 2008

I actually had a problem very similar to the issue under discussion. I've got these two friends, Russ and George, who were always fighting with one another. Russ was a big guy, so he would usually win when it came to blows, and George was always trying to get me to help him when an argument started.

I basically told 'em: "listen guys, you've got to work this shit out between you both. Have either of you ever been to a cuddle party?... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 8:02 AM on September 16, 2008

I actually had a problem very similar to the issue under discussion. I've got these two friends, Russ and George, who were always fighting with one another. Russ was a big guy, so he would usually win when it came to blows, and George was always trying to get me to help him when an argument started.

I basically told 'em: "listen guys, you've got to work this shit out between you both. Have either of you ever been to a cuddle party?... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 8:09 AM on September 16, 2008

Be careful what you wish for - that's all I'll say. My wife and I were given a mandlebrot dinner set as a wedding present, and it's absolutely useless. You can't serve soup in a bowl with a finite surface area but infinite volume - our lobster bisque just disappears completely. The others courses are also impossible to eat, since you can't tell where the plate ends and the gratin dauphinois begins. Our guests just end up staring at their coffee spoons for hours, delighting in the endless... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 2:58 AM on September 14, 2008

Oh yes, twoleftfeet - "busy meditating on the vast panoply of visual delights that comes with infinite iteration of quaternions," you claim.

But we all saw you ACTUALLY contemplating her ample bosom over the cheese course.

By Jupiter, I have half a mind to petition the Tennis Club to remove you as Secretary - you dastardly cad.
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 3:47 AM on September 14, 2008

Piffle! When one magnifies the very words of the culprit, bleated out in his own defence, one sees other, more fanciful sentences, sprouting off each letter, in all directions!

To whit – looked at under higher resolutions, the upper left hand side of twoleftfeet's words "At no time did my gaze ever stray" clearly resolves into the admission: "Under her bulging décolletage, her breasts quiver like a pensive tripe - oh, Abigail, would that I might feast... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 4:17 AM on September 14, 2008

Oh, blast it, twoleftfeet! You're really a good chap - I guess I've just jolly well gone and thrown it. Do accept my apologies for getting all stuffy, old boy.

To tell the truth, Abigail and I have been having some troubles of late - she caught me ogling Julia's set, which have always been a strange attractor for me. I guess the marriage is on the rocks - so I shouldn't blame you for moving up the Devil's Staircase and putting your Minkowski Sausage in her Cantor's... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 4:43 AM on September 14, 2008

Well played, dear chap. Well played.
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 5:32 AM on September 14, 2008

Thanks for spoiling this for everyone. How the fuck can I watch this movie now that I know that the "Boy in the Striped Pajamas" is actually - A GIRL!?

Yes, 12 year-old Polly Pooperstrasse runs away from home to join the circus. But when she presents herself to Dr. Isosceles' Carnival of Unusuality, she's in for the surprise of her life!

Polly becomes the latest addition to the House of Freaks, playing a pubescent boy whose... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 4:33 AM on September 12, 2008

I'm selling advertising space in my McDONALDS - I'M LOVING IT! MeFi comments now, and I find that it's a great way to A diamond is forever - DeBeers open up new revenue streams that support my webcontent Friends don’t let friends drive drunk. A Message from the U.S. Department of Transportation. delivery. I honestly don't see what the problem with that It takes a lickin’, but it keeps on tickin': Timex is. So as for... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 3:18 AM on September 12, 2008

Large Hadron Collider too small, say experts

Controversy broke out in the scientific world today, with rival experts shooting opposing arguments out of their mouths at 99.99999% of the speed of light and around a circular path the size of Provence only to smash into one another and be annihilated in a fit of short-lived pique.

The debate began when the Large Hadron Collider was switched on and failed utterly to destroy Earth in a black-hole... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 8:37 AM on September 9, 2008

I think that anyone who believes in an imaginary being, no matter what its name is, should be labeled mentally ill.

It's hardly radical to state what a left-wing, anti-religious place MeFi is - it's actually the reason I stopped coming here. But, I guess the only thing that believers like myself can do about it is to report - honestly, and without casting judgement on others - how we met God in our own lives. I actually met him in a pub - which will... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 1:57 AM on August 28, 2008

Temporary autism is but one small step away from a range of recreational diseases for fun and profit.

"I was planning a trip to India, and really wanted the full native experience. And the money I made begging meant that my temporary leprosy totally paid for itself."
--Johnny, 34, Sacramento.

"I never would have got the lead role in the South Philly Dramatics Society production of Rent without some serious method acting.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 3:01 AM on August 19, 2008

It's 'cos like the sky is like, all blue an' shit, an' when you're flying it's like your flying in actual blue an' shit, you know? And flying is like a fuckin' rhapsody, you know? So if you were a rapper and you were flying a plane this would totally fit the narrative. Fuck man, music is, like, fucking awesome.
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 2:19 AM on August 12, 2008

Barack Obama and John McCain. Two men of God. Two brothers in His sight. But now, brother is pitted against brother. And this November, God has to choose one - and only one - to be his representative on Earth. Both have asked for His blessing - both have prayed for His guidance. One of them sacrificed a goat to appease Him. Yeah, it was pretty fucking gross actually, but there you go. Anyway, both men, both godly men have invoked his help. And come November, God himself will clench his... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 5:03 PM on July 27, 2008

Highly relevant post, especially when America still celebrates a holiday called "Make Martin Luther King Day".

Why you people want to disband your glorious republic and make a racist german guy your King has always been a mystery to me - but I guess that those who are ignorant of history are domed to repeat its mistakes.

DOMED.

With a giant fucking DOME.

Or something.
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 3:43 AM on July 8, 2008

Tea is naught but the dandruff of Satan, boiled in pure sin-juice, sweetened with the sickly crystals of iniquity and intensified with the titty-dribble of the cow (the Devil's mount) and sometimes some lemons (Beelzebub's testicles).

Hence, from a christian perspective, I welcome sites such as this that provide good Christ-centred monitoring of and commentary on the various forms of this diabolical phenomenon.

So get thee behind me, lapsang... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 12:17 PM on June 29, 2008

ON YOUR SPECIAL DAY

"You've worked so darn hard
For such a long time!
And now that you've "made it"
I'm sure you'll do fine!

Your ticket's got no chance in Hell
Without my participation -
Still - congratulations on winning
the Democratic Nomination!"

- "Yours", Hillary.


SORRY FOR YOUR... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 2:12 AM on June 10, 2008

The Lion of Ljubljana doesn't have enough diacritical marks to be taken seriously as a philosopher. If he was called Śľãvðý Żĩžĕķ I'd be a lot more open to his ideas.
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 1:52 AM on May 13, 2008

Top 10 Greatest Greats in the Universe!
Celebrating 13.7 billion years of Golden Galactic Greatness!
Brought to you by the Universe Appreciation Society.
It's Your Universe - Appreciate It!

10. Red spot.
9. Attractor.
8. Silence.
7. Filter.
6. Bear.
5. Wall, CfA2.
4. Wall, Sloan.
3. Britain trying to land a probe on Mars made out... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 8:45 AM on May 12, 2008

I have mixed feelings about Burroughs.

It IS disconcerting when we are faced with such a dichotomy between a person's art and their life, hj03. I personally find it quite troubling in the case of Hitler, who was a TERRIBLE artist, but otherwise a really great guy.
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 2:02 AM on May 2, 2008

Wait a second ... I think I've got that the wrong way round - sorry. What I meant was Hitler was a horrible, disgusting mass-murderer, but his paintings are wonderfully sublime and compassionate.
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 2:04 AM on May 2, 2008

No, that's not right ... his paintings are shit too. OK, I think that means that the inconsistency here must be between Hitler, who was a complete jerk in every department, and me - obviously some kind of world's ultimate genius or something.
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 2:08 AM on May 2, 2008

What a moran. Accurately replicating even the smallest trace of an human being - created in God's image and endowed with complex rationality - is simply impossible for sinful fools such as we.
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 5:09 AM on May 1, 2008

Does that apply to paintings, photographs, sculpture?

Or MeFi comments?
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 9:53 AM on May 1, 2008

MINUTES OF GALACTIC BOARD MEETING

1. Update on takeover of Milky Way by Andromeda galaxy. Staffing issues discussed, agreed that this was a good chance to get rid of embarrasingly-named Uranus. Memo entitled "We're firing Uranus" to be distributed to all staff.

2. New brand names considered and voted on. Milkdromeda - 2 votes. Androway - 1 vote. Alko-Wade - 10 votes.

3. Plans for future expansion... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 7:48 AM on April 25, 2008

I'm actually working on a similar scheme, "the Open Source Child-Hugging project". Parents are encouraged to wear one of our freely distributed T-shirts - one kind reads: "Yes, Please Hug My Child!" and I'm working on getting the other kind printed just as soon as I get back out of solitary and that goddamn son-of-a-bitch Governor lets me back in the prison workshop. And then you'll all pay for how you've treated me, you hear me? YOU'LL ALL PAY.
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 5:56 AM on April 23, 2008

Well I welcome any and all research into the sham athiest science of "Darwinism", and I'm glad that people are finally starting to recognise that the intelligent design of toxic plants, malaria, leprosy, flesh-eating bacteria and ravenous sharks proves once and for all what a complete prick God really is.
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 5:58 AM on April 17, 2008

The flowers are losing their scent
The buzz of bees is diminishing
The stock of the forest is spent
The banquet of fish is finishing
The glaciers are melting and dying
The frogs are all covered in mould
The birds have given up flying
The soil's become sterile and old
Every colourful creature that flew or that crept
Will disappear utterly. Nobody wept
At their fading; no-one... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 2:46 AM on April 17, 2008

in which languagehat will bless it and tell you that it's now part of the English language

Oh, so that's your game, eh? languagehat performs his anti-papal office and suddenly it's OK to tax me, click by click! You linguinists DISGUST me, what with your endless morphologising and diabolical phonetrickeries. And now your powers have extended to the basest usufruct, and profiting from my every prendre! Well, I'll hide my taxables in a miasma of... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 8:15 AM on April 15, 2008

New patented soul test! Doth thou have soul? Look unto mine child and fill thine ear with his hymn unto the LORD. Then should thee have soul, thy soul will cause thee to bless mine child before the LORD. Should, however, thee lack soul, thou shalt say but "nay" and thou shalt be gruff like the yak of the fields, known to both the Pharisee and Sadducee for his gruffness, insulting to the LORD. Thus thy soul is surely revealed or not as the case may be! Instant results guaranteed... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 10:00 AM on April 14, 2008

QUENTIN BRYCE: EXECUTIVE AUTHORITY

SHE was a fiesty, two-fisted federal official whose no-nonsense approach to her gubernatorial duties ruffled feathers in the highest levels of government.

"Goddammit, Bryce! I told you to exercise vice-regal authority in accordance with the strict limitations relating to the Royal Prerogative!"

"Prerogative THIS, Rudd. My approach gets RESULTS in this constitutional... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 6:00 AM on April 14, 2008

unlike males, prone to making assumptions, women processed all available information when making decisions

BULLSHIT. When I got caught balling my wife's sister, she immediately starting yelling and throwing stuff at me, despite my calm protestations that it was a "just a dick thing". If she had only been able to process THAT information then I wouldn't now be restricted to seeing my son one weekend a fortni-

Wait a... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 8:22 AM on April 9, 2008

Of course many persons lined the flame's route through London's streets, and I myself was one of these - allow me, I beg you, to tell my story of that fateful day.

All throughout the dim and frosty morning I had waited out my place. I was stood on the planned trajectory of the controversial fire, near the corner of two streets in Leicester Square. By lunchtime, the crowd of would-be onlookers was full five persons deep, and all jostling in a cacophony for an... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 3:21 PM on April 7, 2008

Meta.

Absolutely disgusting, people.

An obit thread that links to "comingsoon.net" - ? What are you saying - that Zombie Charlton Heston will soon appear to commence his reign of terror? Please show just a little respect in future, and break such news by linking to "justleft.net" or "notcominganymorecausehe'sdead.com". You assholes make me SICK.
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 2:54 AM on April 6, 2008

You need to read that comment again, Stav. And double check who posted it.

Preposterous! It's standard procedure to read each comment only once and then release one's zombie army upon the commentator or commentatoress as the case may be, while simultaneously infoming metatalk that a metatalk thread has not been opened via opening a metatalk thread referencing the non-opening issue as per standard procedure. You make me SICK Lentrohamsanin, you horrible Zombie-botherer!
posted to MetaFilter by the quidnunc kid at 5:03 AM on April 6, 2008