i'll even be one if you want! i need a new t-shirt design for my site, http://www.nwtekno.org. our current designs are awful (http://www.cafepress.com/nwtekno/) i can't pay you anything 'cause i'm a broke student myself, but the site has ~40,000 users and a link would bring in a lot of traffic, some from people who might pay you

Okay, with that nonsense out of the way, listen to ook. It's a solid critique. You're not awful, but you have to remember that 99% of the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 6:12 PM on July 21, 2008

Here's a list of 36 original CV layouts. Much better and more professional than some of the gimmick ideas shown so far.
posted by furtive at 10:02 AM on July 20

Yeah, so professional that on the very first one, the applicant misspells the word "where."

I would rather see a boring but perfect resume done on a typewriter than a "creative" one where the applicant was so busy trying to make himself... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 1:55 PM on July 20, 2008

If you try to make a band logo using Inkscape or GIMP, without any prior training or experience in design, there are very good odds that your output will be utter shit. Please start this process with a pencil and a piece of paper. If you can't do it in that medium, you can't do it on the computer.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 10:06 AM on July 19, 2008

This is the best, fastest way:

Select all your raw text in InDesign

NAME1 [TAB] PHONE1
NAME2 [TAB] PHONE2

and so on. Copy and paste that into Notepad. You now have a tab-delimited file.

Open that .txt in Excel, where it will import in 2 rows and X colums. Save as whatever.xls. Close it. Go back into InDesign, File > Place > whatever.xls. You now have a handy InDesign table you can modify to your heart's content.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 3:52 PM on July 18, 2008

Largecorp, I lied. I lied to you. My way is not the best or fastest way. It is a dumb way to do it. Kindall is correct, and I apologize to both you and him for being wrong. I consider myself a pretty solid InDesign guy and this thread will be a shameful memory.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 5:08 PM on July 18, 2008

I don't think Wacom has any real competitors in the field. The cheap tablets are awful.

I own an Intuos3 6x8 and love it, but I do a lot of detail work, so the closer mapping is more of an issue for me (plus I use the heck out of both function pad things). You will probably be served just fine by the 4x6 model considering your needs - honestly, it will probably be better for you than the larger ones.

If you do pick one up, don't be... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 9:31 AM on July 15, 2008

You have wasted many years of this woman's life. Why do you continue to do so? Why do you think it is in any way a sane idea to marry someone you don't love? I don't think you're a bad person, but this is a bad choice. Better to hurt her badly now than to destroy her in another few years.

The wedding is close, and I could never call it off.

Oh yes, you can. There would be nothing more irritating than knowing I went to a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 5:41 PM on July 14, 2008

Thank you all; of course I know the right answer, but I am too much of a coward for that.

A man does the right thing even when it is difficult. Are you a man or a boy?
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 10:12 PM on July 14, 2008

What you really want is a dedicated page layout program that uses linked files and only "puts it all together" during printer output or PDF export. You should be able to buy license for older versions of InDesign or Quark Xpress on the cheap.

HOWEVER, If you're stuck with AI and PS, use Illustrator as a layout program. Use linked files in Illustrator (in the Place dialog box), not embedded ones - this will save you hell of scratch disk space - and when you're... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 3:09 PM on July 12, 2008

I thought the primary difference was the InDesign is used for Magazines while illustrator for one page things.

Illustrator is for vector illustration. InDesign is for page layout, whether it's one page or 100. Can you upload a sketch or preview somewhere? I just can't image why you'd need to do the whole thing in Photoshop. I see it all the time, and there's always a better way. If it's drop shadows you want, you can generate them in AI. If... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 7:45 PM on July 12, 2008

I'm not saying anything new in this thread, but you're thinking of "diet" in the wrong way. "Diet" should not be some gimmicky bullshit like Atkins or all-pears-all-the-time or cayenne-lemon smoothies, it's about eating sensibly and healthfully and not doing insane shit like eating Mallomars and deep fried twinkies and soda with every meal.

Prefpara has some good thoughts. And remember that when you achieve your fitness goals, you are doing it... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 8:10 AM on July 12, 2008

Tell the truth. You didn't fuck up, and you have nothing to be ashamed about. So why lie?

And re: grief. You just gotta wait. Go out and live. There are better ones out there, I promise.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 3:42 PM on July 10, 2008

Whenever I need to use special characters in a form, I fire up FontStudio (expensive) or FontForge (open source) and add a glyph to the character set, making sure that the font is editable and embeddable. If the font has a subscript or denominator "2" (some do), you're gravy. If not, you will need to add one. This is much less difficult than it sounds, although there is a learning curve.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 9:33 AM on July 3, 2008

The word "glyph" refers to a single character in a font - A, B, {, |, 8, whatever. Some fonts have the minimum number of glyphs (A-Z, a-z, 0-9) because they are shitty freeware fonts, while some have anything you can imagine and way more.

After checking, I've found that the widely distributed font "Arial Unicode MS" has a subscript and a superscript for all Arabic numerals. If it supports editable embedding (I haven't checked), then that would work.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 9:51 AM on July 3, 2008 marked best answer

Glad I could help. Let me know if you have any other Acrobat form questions.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 10:13 AM on July 3, 2008

You know when you shoot up in bed at four-thirty in the morning because you just remembered that your left your pacemaker batteries in Amarillo? This is why I am posting at four thirty in the morning - do not embed the entire font in your Acrobat document unless you have to. Arial Unicode MS is about 20 megs in size because it includes a truly staggering number of glyphs. Like, fifty thousand.

Anyway, don't embed the whole thing. Subset it.

Back to bed.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 4:48 AM on July 4, 2008

Pretend that these things are so, and pretend that she has already apologized.

What the fuck? No. Look, every answer here but dancestoblue's has been pure insanity. His continuing to work with her and socialize with her is completely unacceptable. And the fact that he hasn't already left his job and kicked her out of his life tells me that he does not give a shit about you, and that the moment things get tough again he'll be right back in her... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 10:49 PM on June 29, 2008

Add me to the group who thinks the extreme, hardcore advice being offered by many in this thread is unhelpful and unrealistic.

Quitting his job is not really an option.

It's always an option, but I'm not going to fight you on that point. That's fine. Some people will choose financial stability over their relationships. I know because once I did exactly that, and was exactly in your shoes, and I wish... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 12:08 PM on June 30, 2008

Sometimes you have to choose between things. That's life.

How do you want to be remembered when you die? The programmer who had a bunch of dumb fucking gadgets and a big stupid fuck-off car and a ridiculous mortgage for a house eight times bigger than he needed? Or as a real person with a real soul who decided that the creative spirit was more important than dead matter?

I hear the new 3G iPhone is going to be pretty sweet.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 11:50 PM on June 29, 2008

How does it know that the wood is something intended to be cut, and that the finger is not?

The SawStop safety system includes an electronic detection system that detects when a person contacts the blade. The system induces an electrical signal onto the blade and then monitors that signal for changes. The human body has a relatively large inherent electrical capacitance and conductivity which cause the signal to drop when a person contacts the blade.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 12:33 PM on June 28, 2008

You kick them in the motherfucking nuts, hard, while screaming at them that the NEXT FUCKING TIME I'LL KILL YOU MOTHERFUCKER.

I know this advice sounds crazy, but it is the only way to get someone's attention when they're being childish. I consider myself a reasonable, empathetic person, and it would be real fuckin' hard for me to take the balloon phobia seriously. I would just be incredulous. "This balloon? It's, like, all round and smooth... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 12:07 PM on June 28, 2008

I once said to somebody "Nice suit, are you goiing to a funeral after work?" This was an entertainment technology company and he was dressed like an undertaker.

The last time someone asked me that question, I was going to a funeral after work. Every office needs an asshole/retard who is universally loathed.

Ignore most of the advice in this thread and go directly to HR. Document everything. If the sexes were... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 12:00 PM on June 28, 2008

Your illustrations are great. Get the hell out of Phoenix. But if you must stay, I would make some contacts at Phoenix New Times and the Tucson Weekly; your work seems right up their alley.

P.S. Leave the jobs off.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 7:23 PM on June 26, 2008

SPRTCKY
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 6:56 AM on June 26, 2008

I did end it with her while I was on vacation,

Good job.

although we still speak online often

No! Stop that! Stop that right now! If you want to talk to her in six months, great, but not now. You are wasting your youth on this foolishness. Go do anything else.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 8:40 PM on June 23, 2008

He would purposely say hurtful things to me like, "well, my friends probably hate you because you're (____)"

Jesus, that alone is grounds for kicking him to the curb. Also, yes, he probably cheated on you. DTMFA.

Oh, and pre-emptively dump anyone who sends this kind of text message to you or anyone else: Keep up the good work there and stay hot. Lol How such retarded, witless communication ever gets anyone laid I will never know.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 3:18 PM on June 21, 2008

What's the worst thing that would happen if you went together? The very worst thing.

Now imagine being sixty years old, having stayed put right where you are right now, looking back, wondering what could have happened if you had gone on this adventure together.

Which is worse?
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 9:53 AM on June 21, 2008

It doesn't matter. This is a serious answer. What you do at 19 is irrelevant to what happens in your real life unless you get knocked up or get arrested.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 8:23 AM on June 21, 2008

Let me clarify by saying the last wedding I went to was of a couple who had been dating since they were sixteen; it was beautiful and they'd had ten happy years together and will probably have sixty more. In this case? Not so much. You cheated on guy A, so any long-term relationship you could possibly have with him is more or less ruined. And guy B sounds okay, I guess, but you started the relationship off with deception and infidelity, and it doesn't augur well for a stable, happy future.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 9:44 AM on June 21, 2008

Suspicions? Would you feel uncomfortable if her BFF was male instead? Your girlfriend's friend's sexuality should not be a concern of yours. There are hundreds of men and women out there who will be attracted to her over the years. How that turns out is your girlfriend's responsibility, not yours: you can't be a jealous wreck your entire life. It's unattractive and weird and says really bad things about you.

If you really want to solve it, tell... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 9:34 AM on June 21, 2008

I have no idea; you might want to ask your question here:

http://forums.randi.org/

If anyone would know, it's the good folks of JREF.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 8:46 PM on June 13, 2008

No. Soap and water is the only way to clean clothes to the specifications you listed.

(Also, seriously, come on.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 7:00 PM on June 11, 2008

I have a glossy MacBook screen and a matte external monitor. The combination isn't jarring after a few days.

(It's more enjoyable reading on the glossy screen, but the matte screen is more accurate when calibrated (in my experience) even though there's some minor diffusion of the image. If you're in an arts field, I would tentatively recommend the matte screen for color-sensitive photo work. Honestly, you can do pro-level work on either.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 7:17 PM on June 8, 2008

hahahahaha no

She's asking "what activities would you like to engage in," not "who do you want to fuck?" The answer to the second is supposed to be a given.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 9:59 AM on June 8, 2008

Is wielding my abortion as a Life Lesson manipulative or justified?

I think you'll feel worse about using it that way than he ever can.

I honestly think I'd feel better if he could feel, or witness, a little of what I'm going through, but maybe this is a lost cause.

It is a lost cause. The man you conceived with is a a psycho. Let someone who actually cares about you take care of you, and get rid of this poisonous sociopath.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 1:24 PM on June 7, 2008

I think you've realized that you're not right for each other pretty early on - three months in should be easy and effortless. This is for her and not just you. You sound like a nice guy, so you know that stringing her along if you're not sure is wrong. Sorry.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 8:51 AM on June 7, 2008

It's fine, mostly.

1. Both the ornaments and the text are RGB, not CMYK. Change them to CMYK or you're going to be unhappy with the results unless your printer is smart enough to preflight your document first. A lot of large-format printers (sign folks, mainly) are dumb as rocks and have horrible workflows and just throw customer files at their grand-format digital inkjet printers without even checking to see if there's going to be a problem. Judging by eye I'd say... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 3:46 PM on June 6, 2008

You're doing fine. Just give it some time. Don't forget to always use condoms.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 11:32 PM on June 4, 2008

Hypatia. Game over.

And pray, tell your fool aunt to educate herself before denying the contributions of one half of humanity for whatever inexplicable reasons she may have. I suspect she is more comfortable blaming her sex rather than her personal inadequacies for her failures, but I am probably stepping way over the line.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 11:28 PM on June 4, 2008 marked best answer

Motherfucker. Na2rboy is correct.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 11:22 AM on June 4, 2008

It's not that big of a deal, actually: it's a work computer, so the owner is justified in installing any software he wants on it. However, I am peeved that something with the capacity for keystroke logging is installed on the machine I use for personal matters during lunch and other breaks.

The most irritating part is having my shortcuts disabled so this crapware can run "hidden."
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 9:09 PM on June 4, 2008

I don't know about fancy decorative curtains, but there are two ways to clean a clear vinyl shower curtain such that it is beautiful and perfect again: pokeedog's method works great, but if you are an apartment dweller and don't want to drag your filthy shower curtain into the laundry room, you can soak it in the tub in three inches of hot water and a few scoops of Oxiclean Outdoor. As a bonus, it will also whiten your filthy, filthy tub.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 11:05 PM on June 2, 2008

A little over a year after this all started, I decided I didn't deserve this treatment and moved out. The day before I moved out, I woke up to find him sitting on my bed and touching me. I was sleeping in the nude. I didn't do anything but just put my arms over my face and stayed still. He climbed on top of me and had sex with me.

This is all you had to say. Yes, this is rape. You weren't in a romantic relationship with this guy; this wasn't wake-up sex, it was rape.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 12:14 AM on May 31, 2008

1) Univers
2) Trade Gothic

But if you're going to be buying fonts, Hoefler & Frere-Jones is doing (or licensing) some of the best work out there right now. Gotham, Whitney, and Knockout are simply outstanding.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 2:02 PM on May 23, 2008

I see I’m not going to get an answer to my question and people are just gonna nominate whatever font they like at the moment irrespective of Foam Pants’s (unexplained) actual need.
posted by joeclark at 12:44 PM on May 24

Most of the type families listed above are versatile; if he wants some real wonk-style discussion he can always head over to typophile.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 8:41 AM on May 30, 2008

If you lived in sin with your partner for years outside of the holy bonds of matrimony, I don't think you should judge everyone else in the country as being some sort of deviant. To a large number of the populace, you're as much a sinner as the rest of us - fornication is fornication.

Now that we have that out of the way, let me tell you that yes: there are young people in America who care about "lasting commitment and relationship values.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 1:29 AM on May 28, 2008

So how do you deal with the minor flareups of past baggage in such a way that it doesn't tie you up for days?

You can't. At least not in the sense that you can concentrate real hard and make it magically go away. Don't think of an elephant, and all that. But what you can do is understand that worrying about it will not make it any better, and may actually make it worse. You and he are going to die one day; your time together will come to an end... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 11:06 AM on May 26, 2008

I can't speak to the legal issues, but it's certainly ethical. You assume risk; why shouldn't you profit?

I mean, how would you feel if your subletters turned around and let the apartment to other people at an even higher rate? A little taken advantage of, maybe?

I will never understand this point of view. Are the things you have no good unless others have less? Anyway, get your lease and check with a pro with regards to... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 3:11 PM on May 24, 2008

Just call her fiancé and let him deal with it. Or quit your job.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 12:42 PM on May 22, 2008

If you have Acrobat Pro, you open up your text file that you've printed to PDF. Then you go to:

Document > Background > Add/Replace.

Under "Source," select the blank letterhead PDF. Then hit OK.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Optimus Chyme at 12:31 PM on May 22, 2008 marked best answer