.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 10:15 PM on July 25, 2008

Bah. These parents trying to prove their nonconformity at their kid's expense - fuck them.

I don't have a punned or nontraditional name, but my mother decided to
a) Conflate two conventional spellings of my first name,
b) Give me an amazingly trendy middle name - which isn't even a goddamn human name but a freaking river,
c) Misspell that middle name and
d) Call me by that middle name, with the logic that if I hate my... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 9:31 AM on July 24, 2008

Whereas parents who give their kids good traditional names and baptize/indoctrinate their children before they are independently sentient are given the keys to the kingdom of heaven, of course.

My parents did the latter as well. Believe me, it was easier to leave the church behind than to leave the name.

Look, I'm not saying that unusual or non-traditional names are bad, and they're probably more common now than in the past.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 1:14 PM on July 24, 2008

About 4 years ago, one of my colleagues threw a nostalgic toga party (we were all long out of college) at the house she shared with her boyfriend. I was nervous about going to a party with my out-of-shape upper arms exposed because I like to obsess over neurotic details rather than have actual fun. But I decided that the party was going to be full of English teachers (her job) and Army folks (his job), and that my physique would not fare that badly in comparison.

What I... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 11:13 AM on July 23, 2008

Oh, I am so copying this idea . My sons' birthdays are 5 months apart, but supermarket cakes keep, right? Maybe in the freezer?
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 6:03 PM on July 22, 2008

I wonder what the kids these days will say "gave them nightmares" when they're older?

Boohbahs
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 9:17 AM on July 14, 2008

No no no, see the government's got this master kill switch that will make past eugenics experiments pale in comparison. Stay vigilant, people!
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 10:08 PM on July 8, 2008

Bow Wow Bugs a Bug and Cowboy and Octopus make the nightly bedtime reading routine so much better. My husband reads Cowboy's lines as sort of a cross between John Wayne and Don Knotts, which amuses the kids no end. The thing I like about these books (along with the collective works of Mo Willems), is that both adults and kids can find them funny. They don't talk down to the former or go above the heads of the latter.

Now I... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 8:01 AM on July 7, 2008

Aww man, I just got sad about Carlin.

Yeah, but when you read it yourself, you don't get the benefit of his narration. Although maybe we'll start reading in the style of his stand-up routines. The kids would love that.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 8:23 AM on July 7, 2008

So this week I've unsubscribed from Boing Boing and Jezebel. Perhaps one of the Metafilter mods will do or say something ideologically repellent so I can further lighten up Google Reader and actually get some damn work done.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 2:35 PM on July 6, 2008

Diapers are more absorbent than they used to be (here's a Malcolm Gladwell article that will tell you more than you'd ever want to know on the subject). Wet cloth diapers are (I assume) a lot more noticeable and annoying.

I'm toilet training my youngest right now - in part because it's the right time for him, in part because I have reached my tolerance level for cleaning up human excrement. Or any excrement for that matter. He's three, I don't feel particularly... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 10:05 PM on July 5, 2008

If you're happy to have them wallow in shite until they're twenty one, then go for it.

But that's not what happens - even the most dim-witted mouth breathers in my son's kindergarten class, the ones with the parents whose child-rearing techniques make me want to unleash my inner Helen Lovejoy on them, have managed to figure out that crapping their pants is no longer as fun as it used to be. Even us embarrassing parents who've waited until 3 to... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 10:17 AM on July 6, 2008

Wow - this is the real-life version of SNL's Taco Town skit. (Hulu video, transcript ).

And both would be great names for drive-through brothels, should the ever become legal.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 5:57 AM on June 11, 2008

Once again with the buttermilk powder: the folks over at Cooks Illustrated seem to think that it's comparable to the real thing. And if you're making something with flour, you can just mix the powder with the dry ingredients and add as much water as you would buttermilk.

Me, I don't cook anything that I can't make as well as my favorite takeout, specifically Indian and Thai food. Also, whenever I cook Indian food, I seem to end up coated in a thin layer of ghee.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 11:09 AM on June 10, 2008

Ugh. I remember reading an article in the New Yorker a long time ago in which the writer describes being attacked by a hyena and seeing it eat part of her leg as it was attacking her. I decided then that hyenas were not allowed on my ark.

I can't find the original text, but the summary is here.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 9:41 PM on May 7, 2008

Thanks for posting this. My husband and I worked on selecting and describing the manuscripts from Harry Ransom Center way back in 1999-2000. The experience spoiled me for all future library work - I never had as much fun* as I did working on this project.

*Library-related, that is.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 11:40 AM on May 3, 2008

In several scenes we see couples engaged in sexual intercourse: we see several different sexual positions, we see them thrusting up and down, and hear them grunting and making other noises and we also hear their explicit sexual talk during intercourse; we see a man and woman having sex in several different positions, and we see a woman on top of a man making very loud sexual noises as she moves back and forth (she has a T-shirt on).

It's like the world's most boring porn.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 2:08 PM on April 21, 2008

F: Marry, my lord! But whence has come this mare?
B: Tis not a mare, fair wench but tis a stallion.
F: Prithee, my lord? To whom does this stallion belong?
B: Verily, tis the stallion of Zed.
F: And tell, my lord, who is this Zed?
B: Zed hath shuffled off this mortal coil, my lady. He hath shuffled off this mortal coil.

Man, this is hard. Can we do the limericks again?
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 8:35 AM on April 20, 2008

Sirrah, I can but guess your present thoughts
Did he have time his musket to reload?
Forsooth, I have myself forgot if so.
But as this weapon has the strength to split
Your very head loose from its earthly frame
Then ponder, cur, your place in fortune's favor.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 9:46 AM on April 20, 2008

Calling Obama "elitist" is the acceptable way of calling him an "uppity negro."

I read about this lovely tactic by way of John Hodgman's blog (Hillary's folks passing out homemade looking "I'm not bitter" stickers at campaign rallies). I really, really hate this woman.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 8:43 PM on April 16, 2008

Calling people racist ain't so grand a tactic either.

This primary has been filled with some of the most racist and sexist undertones (or overtones in some cases) I've seen in a long while, and it's mostly coming from the pundits. It's refreshing to see that some of it is not sticking with the voters.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 9:12 PM on April 16, 2008

You know, when the walruses rise up and enslave us, this is going to be Exhibit Fucking A.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 9:53 AM on April 12, 2008

Did the kid have scurvy? Otherwise, I don't see the point of the whole exercise.

Remember Timmy, most food is evil. Especially fruit. And flavor. Stick with food that reminds you of the bland pablum of your infancy, which you can easily find in all it's carb heavy, dense, caloric glory.

(Ceases lecturing strangers on nutrition to scrape honey-nut Cheerios that have fused to the sides of the kids' breakfast bowls)
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 7:58 AM on March 28, 2008

Do you have a sense of humor at all?
Yeah. And I've got kids. And I've learned a lot about the connection between food and trust.

I have no trouble with offering kids new flavors - because it helps them expand their culinary horizons, not because I want a funny video for YouTube. (I'm basing my comments on the first video, by the way, where the baby just looks miserable and confused at the end).
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 8:21 AM on March 28, 2008

If the babies found it truly unpleasant, wouldn't they cry and try to shove the lemon away

Not in my experience (although I never tried anything truly horrible, as I didn't have a video camera handy). When my children when that age, they just trusted that whatever I put in their mouth was food, and they accepted it. I remember feeding my oldest son spinach for the first time: he grimaced horribly, then opened his mouth for the next bite.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 11:56 AM on March 28, 2008

**Looks through the photo galleries. Has visions of Time's winged chariot driven by a bejowled Judd Nelson. A similarly aged Ally Sheedy as the snickering eternal footman John Hughes no longer represents the potential of youth for me. His films have become a large blinking neon sign announcing my inevitable demise **

Oh god, I am so fucking old.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 11:11 PM on March 24, 2008

My overtired eyes kept reading "saliva," and my first two thoughts were "How are they going to outlaw saliva?" and "Hey, I can get high off of my own spit?"
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 3:49 PM on March 11, 2008

I love American Gods. I've got my own copy, but I recommend it frequently, especially to my mythology students, so I'm thrilled it's online. Thanks for posting this.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 2:50 PM on February 29, 2008

Just yesterday, Pixish was featuring an assignment to create t-shirts for some dude named Jonathan Coulton. Does Pixish really think that designers just happen to have some t-shirts on their hard drive that they just happened to design for Jonathan Coulton? If I've never heard of the guy, it seems unlikely that people are designing t-shirts for him just for fun.

But that's exactly what's happening in this instance, and it's why I think Jonathan... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 9:26 PM on February 13, 2008

The whole process sounds pretty similar to the first week of breastfeeding. Possible preferable.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 7:11 PM on February 11, 2008

Sweet merciful crap, why would you do this to your kids?
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 7:34 AM on December 31, 2007

Dan Fogelberg was my first concert (1982).

The next year, I saw the Violent Femmes play in a cow pasture, and ever since then I told everyone that they were my first concert. I sounded much cooler that way.

But Dan Fogelberg was my first, and the deeply unhip, essential core of my being mourns his passing.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 6:44 PM on December 16, 2007

Not to second guess the Mystery Writers of America, but why is "Edwin Drood" on the list? Dickens wrote some great mysteries into his novels (including "Bleak House" with Holmesian progenitor Inspector Bucket), but for these, he actually managed to live long enough to finish. Drood could have been great or not, but unless you happen to sit through the tripetastic musical version, where you can vote for your favorite character to be the murderer and sing one... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 9:08 PM on December 2, 2007

There's nothing sexier than an angry librarian...

Time for some empirical research!
*Goes to set husband's shoes on fire, then change into something more comfortable*
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 9:11 PM on December 2, 2007

Dude. The musical is one of the best of the eighties,
Wench, actually.

To each his own. "Eighties" and "musicals" together mostly make me cringe, quite possibly because I had delusion of being in them.

I made it through to about the lyrics "A man could go quite mad / and not be all that bad" before I devoted the rest of my evening to playbill origami.

And... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 9:40 PM on December 2, 2007

Wiener Rock!!!

Perhaps a heavy metal tribute band would be more to your liking.

Or maybe "liking" is an entirely wrong word for this thread.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 2:20 PM on November 24, 2007

What do religiously-obsessed, spiritually empty societies do?

Get fat and watch Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader before some vaguely satisfying time spent in good ol' Missionary before lights out*?

Not after, during. That way, if miss some Bolivian export question, you can console yourself by knowing that at least those smart-assed kids aren't getting laid.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 3:03 PM on October 30, 2007

Well, crap - now I have to go dig up the remains of my tomato plants that I threw in there yesterday.

Good post. Thanks.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 6:21 AM on October 28, 2007

It takes me 10 seconds tops to peel a potato. Why would I save time when I have to bring a pot of water to boil, dirty a pan and a bowl, and empty and refill at least one ice tray? And why peel? Peel's the good part.

How does quieting a baby save time? You're now stuck standing by the sink, holding a confused infant, and running up your water bill. Time is still passing without you being able to accomplish a damn thing besides building arm muscles and marching... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 9:53 PM on October 21, 2007

I'd seen pictures of his friends and ex-wife and son, his sister's house and his llamas. Which, of course, turned out to be Dan Fogelberg's house and llamas.

Well of course they were Dan Fogelberg's llamas. How you could expect a story like this one to not feature Dan Fogelberg's llamas is beyond me.

And I've found my new sockpuppet name!
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 7:20 AM on October 13, 2007

My Confession:
I graded English papers last night while watching America's Next Top Model. My students are so not Fierce!

And I like Harold Bloom even less now.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 7:39 AM on September 27, 2007

"Authenthic Internet Superstar (TM)" Jonathan Coulton has some good observations of Digby's situation. He's more sympathetic towards her than I would be. Then again, she's not writing songs about robot zombie code monkeys, so she's at a disadvantage.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 3:52 PM on September 6, 2007

Part of this whole fiasco, maybe?

But according to the brain trust at CNBC, we're not seeing the big picture here:

"..or China is to start making, say, toys that don't have lead in them or food that isn't poisonous, their costs of production are going to go up and that means prices at Walmart here in the United States are going to go up too. So I would say China is our greatest friend right now. They're keeping prices... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 5:57 PM on August 14, 2007

In my almost-six years of birthday party experience, I've found that all kids need is sugar and a place to run said sugar off.

And magic/costume stores are the best places to buy affordable birthday presents. Our combo gift of glow-in-the-dark vampire teeth and simple ball-and-cup magic trick was the favorite present out of the bunch - and it set us back about 5 dollars.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 6:31 PM on August 13, 2007

In Xanadu, there was this guy
Built a pleasure dome for which to die
It had rivers to Hades
and mad singing ladies
and then - oh man, I am so high
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 7:51 AM on July 23, 2007

You neurosis, your foibles, your hating
All resulted from your parents' mating
This abomination
Affects each generation
So above all, avoid procreating.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 10:23 AM on July 23, 2007

Does anyone else think it's creepy that the mind behind the panopticon wants to stare at you beyond the grave?
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 5:17 PM on July 11, 2007

My grandfather died of Huntington's when my mother was in her early teens. He was estranged from the family, so she only knew him as he was dying. Whenever my family would talk about him, they always implied he died from alcoholism (he was a traveling magician, so it made a certain amount of narrative sense), and it was only after my mother had passed the typical age for the disease to manifest that she told me the truth.

I'm so thankful she delayed telling me for so... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 7:43 AM on March 18, 2007

Miles Davis: Jazz icon tried to beat drugs. Succeeded in beating wife.

Break out the misogynistic zeugmas - this here's some cutting-edge analysis.
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 6:48 PM on February 25, 2007

I say we go back to the method public school used in the 70s and 80s: make the school lunches so unappealing (square pizza topped with suspiciously canine sausage, cold tater tots, peas and carrots encased in fucking jello) that we lost all positive associations with food and could burn off our measly calorie intake during our 45-minute meanders around the track during "gym." Thank god for the still-legal smoking areas, or I would have had no notion of pleasure at... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by bibliowench at 6:51 PM on January 8, 2007