Better question - why would they flush the toilet? It requires some pretty mature thinking to be able to connect one's current behavior with its future impact on others. Flushing the toilet, and being considerate of other in general, is non-obvious behavior to kids, and they have to be taught to think this way.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 2:25 PM on May 28, 2008

Chrisamiller's answer is correct but to me, not complete. Respecting kids, knowing your subject matter, following through on what you say - none of these are easy but they are doable.

And yes, you need to demand nothing but the best. But how to do that successfully is a much harder question.

You've probably encountered a teacher whose high standards just made you throw up your hands, and my kids try this all the time - you can't physically... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 12:06 PM on March 1, 2008

I drive a 1991 Toyota Camry station wagon. It has 248 thousand some miles on it. It went to Burning Man, it survives midwest winters. It's not exactly like new but I can count on it to start every morning.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 6:55 PM on January 13, 2008

Ordinarily I would say you should worry later about the future of the relationship and focus right now on helping your wife. Unfortunately in this case it seems like she might not want your help.

She seems to be trying to shut you out. Depression can really warp the way a person thinks about everything - about themself, the future, their relationships, and the world.

Sit down and talk to her about all your concerns. If she can acknowledge... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 10:24 AM on January 3, 2008

Salycilic acid was a pretty surefire way to irritate my skin. I used benzoyl peroxide for a while when I was younger but it was a trade-off - less pimples but I got dry skin and sometimes flaking. Once I stopped both my skin produced less oil because it wasn't trying to compensate for the overdrying.

I use sensitive-skin dove soap, unscented, and I really like it. I also like neutrogena oil-free moisturizer.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 12:35 AM on December 31, 2007

Black pepper cashews
Simmer sauces (spinach, curry)
Tomato/roasted red pepper soup
Mini pitas
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 10:55 AM on December 15, 2007

I think they generally only test for five things:

1) marijuana
2) cocaine
3) opiates
4) pcp
5) amphetamines

So you'll probably be okay.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 8:49 PM on December 5, 2007

I arrive at work between 6:30 and 7:00 each day and I leave between 5:00 and 6:30. So I am spending anywhere from 10 to 12 hours at school. I'd say I average 11 hours per day. Very little of this time is spent grading papers. Granted, we do have an extended school day, but I spend at least 2 hours a day outside of the time kids are there.

This time is spent prepping for the day, meeting with other staff to plan, meeting with administrators to deal with various... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 2:42 PM on December 1, 2007

One last suggestion similar to what others have said -
institute classroom jobs and get kids to help you with everything. They can organize papers, clean up, straighten desks. They love to do it and it makes them more responsible.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 2:44 PM on December 1, 2007

Is she sleeping enough? I notice that when I am working (and therefore not getting enough sleep) I can be pretty clumsy. When I am on a break or vacation, I am less clumsy. I read recently that getting five hours of sleep per night is the equivalent of having two drinks in terms of motor impairment.

On the other hand the fact that this is annoying you so much is probably a sign of underlying resentment for her, because she is not fulfilling your needs for physical... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 11:54 AM on November 18, 2007

I don't think giving gifts to people's kids has the same implication that the gift should be reciprocated. I know my neighbors and my parents' friends who did not have kids would give us gifts - sometimes very nice ones.

You could also just have them over and feed them some cookies. Or invite them to help you decorate sugar cookies with fancy icing and sprinkles. Or give them small stocking-stuffer gifts like movie passes. I think books would be nice if you know what... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 6:11 PM on November 17, 2007

I teach sixth grade math and science in a high-poverty area on the west side of Chicago.

I am all for people becoming teachers. It certainly isn't boring - it's the most rewarding thing I could imagine doing.

However. . .

robotot says "yeah teaching will be kind hard. . ."

This is an almost comic understatement. It is the hardest job I have ever had by at least a factor of five.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 8:30 PM on November 14, 2007

My mother engendered the ire of my dad's mother because she was honest about her plans to continue her career after marriage and she kept her own name. The two of them had a very bitter relationship. I will always admire my mom for standing her ground and being herself, even though it didn't make for smooth family gatherings.

If it were me, I would never go along with this. It's not a big thing, but it symbolizes something big - women being in servitude to men.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 7:22 PM on November 11, 2007

Okay I found it by reading the radio station's online forum. This took some time because my spanish is poor.

The song is "Calabria," by Enur featuring Natasja. I recommend it.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 7:19 PM on October 26, 2007 marked best answer

I myself have a pretty strong phobia of doctors. Not shrinks as much as other types, but in any case I would like to offer a list of some things that have worked for me. YMMV, obviously:

1) Bringing my boyfriend along. This makes a huge difference.

2) Going for a "trial run" to a doctor. Or else just being willing to leave if things are weird. If I get a bad vibe from a doctor I absolutely can't stay or I will lose it. I've walked... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 6:49 PM on October 1, 2007

I second Johnny Gunn and suggest making this a rule. No one can eat in the common room unless they put their name on the container. If unnammed containers get left out, the common room will be temporarlily closed.

I would further suggest that there should be a policy that no one should leave the room without first cleaning it up. Oftentimes people *intend* to come back later and clean up, and then forget. It has to happen immediately. This will work best if they... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 8:38 PM on September 30, 2007

After posting, I see that bingo seems to think you have been a dick. I see no evidence of that - expecting common courtesy and respect for common space does not seem to be asking too much, and nothing you have done so far seems over the line. I would say, on the contrary, that you haven't been direct enough with them. They are lying to your face about food being theirs and you are letting them get away with it.

(I speak from experience working with 6th graders, but... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 8:44 PM on September 30, 2007

The next time he texts you, tell him you do not want any contact with him. Do not say "until you are sane" or give any indication that you might want to be with him later. Just tell him you will no longer be in contact with him. After that, ignore him.

It may seem harsh, but you have already explained your reasons. He has not accepted them yet because he is not in a place where he can listen to you. You don't want to be involved in any way with someone... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 11:35 AM on September 3, 2007

Oh, and as far as seeing him later is concerned - now is not a good time for either of you to make that decision. See how it feels to walk away and if in six months you are still interested, you can initiate contact. Don't make any promises to him and don't give him any false hopes - it will just make it harder for him to let go of you.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 11:36 AM on September 3, 2007

I am a bit late to the party here, but I have to jump in here to say that I just found this thread on a search because my computer speakers sounded weird (bass and background music louder than the vocals). I tried turning the "surround" all the way down. Problem fixed! Thanks metafilter.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 8:04 PM on August 27, 2007

I don't have a picture, but you might look on e-bay. There are tons of hello kitty stickers for sale.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 8:32 PM on August 18, 2007

Careers is actually surprisingly fun. We have the 1962 edition, purchased at a garage sale. The idea is to accumulate money, fame, and happiness, adding up in various ratios to the total you need to win. Mostly it is cool because you get to be a sea captain or an astronaut.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 7:04 PM on August 14, 2007

Technically, it seems you will be homeless. Various laws and policies protect the educational rights of homeless children. Here in Chicago, schools must allow homeless children to enroll.

I would suggest you call the district and explain your situation.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 1:23 PM on August 11, 2007

One downside I noticed for my parents was that once they had my younger brother, they fell out of contact with most of their friends. If you never have kids, you have the opportunity to maintain many more friendships, which will keep you from getting lonely.

But your question strikes me as so fatalistic that I would urge you to rethink your attitude. Just because you may not have the stereotype of a family, doesn't mean you will be alone either. If you *want* kids at... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 11:52 PM on June 27, 2007

If she lacks the money to hire a lawyer, it seems like the nicest thing you could do would be to hire one for her if you are able.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 3:44 PM on June 4, 2007

In a group of twelve kids, three that are especially difficult can tip the balance. My guess is that, statistically speaking, if this mix of kids wasn't your experience in the two previous years, then this past year may have been a fluke.

Knowing what you know now, is there anything that you could have done differently with these three children? You can apply these lessons in the future.

I don't think you'll ever find a classroom management... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 11:47 AM on June 3, 2007

Erowid on drug testing. I was about to get a job where I would have been tested once before employment. I wasn't sure when the test would be and didn't feel like abstaining. I comforted myself by making plans to fool the test.
(The job ended up not working out, which is just as well. I would also rather not work for such people. But just in case. . . )
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 5:23 PM on May 29, 2007

I have never had a good boss.

I second what people say about being patronizing. Just because your employees don't know everything, don't assume they aren't smart and don't assume they know nothing. Create an environment where they can ask questions without being shot down.

My current boss thinks that all they must do to get us on track is hammer us to death by restating expectations. Her reasons to support why something should be done a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 11:29 AM on May 11, 2007

You didn't see it. There's nothing you can do. But the girl who saw it should, in my opinion, approach the professor. It does affect you if, as you say, this girl's unearned high score sets the curve.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 3:39 PM on May 9, 2007

Whether or not you will regret staying with her depends on whether your needs are being met in the relationship.

You say that several issues - not living together, not fooling around, not sleeping together, not setting a marriage date - are not deal-breakers. Is that really true or is that what you tell yourself because you fear the relationship ending?

I know in my case, I could never be with someone without physical intimacy. You may be... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 1:28 PM on May 8, 2007

I would recommend the book
Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them by Al Franken.

This book isn't theoretical, but it has some good ideas about people who say offensive things, get caught, and say, I was only kidding.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 1:25 PM on April 30, 2007

I go to church on Christmas because my dad wants us to go with him, even though I am not a believer. I go to weddings in churches if I'm invited. Being invited means they want you there, it will make them happy to have you there. Yeah, it's awkward, but you get through it and then it's done.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 8:10 PM on April 29, 2007

Thank you metafilter! Not only have you answered the question, but you have given me an opportunity to feel smug. My friend on behalf of whom I asked this question was skeptical that we would get any answers, but I knew the hive mind could do it.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 10:53 AM on April 26, 2007

I would tell my SO. But that's us. We talk about everything. The fact that you are not sure suggests that it might be a sensitive topic for you/him.

I still have dreams about my exes too. The circumstances are different of course. I always assume that it's just because at some level, I miss that person.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 11:49 AM on April 22, 2007

1. A physics degree is useful for many careers, not just graduate school. My boyfriend has one and he works doing tech support - good pay and a good environment. It is not physics related but they picked him because they knew he could solve technical problems.

2. A degree from a prestigious university opens many more doors, in my limited experience, than one from a cheaper so-so university. Taking out loans sucks, but it may be worth it financially because of your... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 6:37 AM on April 19, 2007

5. I guess the conclusion based on my 4 points above is that I think you should take out some loans.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 6:38 AM on April 19, 2007

I love my mother and for the most part we get along, but I sometimes feel frustrated or annoyed with little things she does. One thing that always works for us is to carry out certain traditional activities we have always enjoyed. There are certain games we played together when I was a kid that are still fun now, certain restaurants we often go to. We always go out to the movies a lot when I am visiting home and it's become sort of a tradition. Develop some positive traditions, something you... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 3:05 PM on April 18, 2007

My mother has a degree in social work and a masters in training (as in training educators about social work topics). She worked as a social worker in a public housing project, then worked for a drug abuse prevention program training teachers, then did some similar stuff. . . now she manages the partnerships between a school and local community organizations. She has moved farther from social work over the years but is still helping people.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 2:14 PM on April 17, 2007

My younger brother (the youngest) sat at the head of the table. I sat on his right. My mother sat on his left and my dad sat to the left of her. I'm not sure why, this is just how we always sat. Guests sat in the leftover seats.

If you are really having such a hard time with this I suggest you inject a little humor or fun. Maybe a spinner wheel to determine who sits at the head, or draw straws, or the first person to the table gets to pick their seat first. Or... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 10:52 AM on April 17, 2007

If someone told me this upfront, I would not be bothered (actually, it's kind of hot).

If someone told me this far into the relationship, the only thing that would bother me is wondering why they hadn't told me earlier. I believe that for people you really want to be with, honesty is absolutely the best policy.

I would still rather know about something like this, even if I didn't find out until a few years in.

Plus,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 4:39 PM on April 15, 2007

When I was first on birth control, I still had a vigorous sex drive. Then it died. When I went off birth control (because of the way it affected my mood), my libido began to come back. That was about three years ago. It's still not as strong as it was before the pill, but it's much better.

It sounds like for the particular doctors you went to, nothing you could have said would have made a difference - their prejudices drove their practice. A good doctor should take... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 9:44 AM on April 4, 2007

I live in Hyde Park and I am in favor of it.

*It's cheap (2 bedrooms can be found for $800, nice ones like mine for under $1000). In fact, the apartment below mine is currently being spruced up and should be available soon. Pets allowed.
*The metra ride to downtown is about 15 minutes, although getting elsewhere by CTA can be sort of iffy.
*It's a pretty quiet neighborhood. Not the most fun but also (unlike many places in Chicago these days)... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 11:43 AM on April 2, 2007

I have seen some like this very recently at Walgreen's, a midwestern american drug store chain. Unfortunately they don't have them on their website. You could check your local drug/discount store.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 11:27 AM on April 2, 2007

I had some friend drama as a child and I would get upset too. But I survived it okay for a few reasons:

1. I went to a school where people were generally very caring. If I was having trouble with a friend, there were always other people around to play with - people weren't too cliquish in general. If your daughter can't find that environment at school, find her a place where it does exist (sports, dance class, etc.).

2. I had a few teachers... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 11:47 AM on March 23, 2007

Oh, and get involved at school now. There is nothing worse than being twelve and having a mother that tries to solve your problems. But if you are a little bit activist now, you can step back a bit when she is older.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 11:49 AM on March 23, 2007

A lot of the advice so far has seemed to me to be insufficiently martian-oriented. I will try to be as explicit as possible.

If you like her and are trying to show it:
1. Say her name a lot.
2. Make eye contact.
3. Ask her questions about herself.
4. Laugh at her jokes. Smile at her.
5. Make fun of her just slightly. This one is tricky even for the most socially suave, so we'll say it's extra credit.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 8:14 PM on March 20, 2007

I lived with the EIC of our University newspaper. I always wondered how he could be so on top of his work at the paper and so not in terms of his schoolwork. It makes more sense now.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 5:16 PM on March 13, 2007

I agree with those that say that allowance is not a reward for chores. A family is not a business - you do chores because that is your share of the household work. You get an allowance because your parents are sharing some of their money with you. Even as a young child (I got an allowance starting at age 6 or 7), I understood this.

My allowance was always my age in quarters. This was a long time ago, so maybe double it now.

One important... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 1:46 PM on February 6, 2007

I love the idea of a book-themed party. Everyone can bring their favorite children's book - you will appreciate them for years and they need not be expensive. Don't mention it in the invites, just have the hosts inform guests later.
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 7:50 PM on January 22, 2007

Here are the things that work for me, prevention-wise:
1. Hydration.
2. A foam pillow that supports my neck.
3. Eating better - more protein, eating breakfast.
4. Noticing when a headache is coming on and taking advil (4 of them) preventatively. I never take it once the headache has intensified, because it doesn't work well and causes rebounds.

I have never had them frequently enough to get a prescription but about... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by mai at 1:49 PM on January 17, 2007