Parkour & free running -- here's one training DVD
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 7:21 AM on July 3, 2008

Also, Jiu Jitsu is pretty cool. Not sure if you're looking for a martial art, per se, but it's pretty cool to understand all the weak points of the human body and how to manipulate your own body to attack and/or defend them. Lotsa training DVDs on Amazon.
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 7:26 AM on July 3, 2008

Brady Bunch!
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 8:27 AM on June 18, 2008

You have to be hardcore: Stop answering his calls (roll your eyes and send it to voice mail), returning his voice mails (delete them without listening), and replying to his text messages (delete them as they come in). Ignore them all. No exceptions. Not even "emergencies", if you're serious about this.

Be polite in person, cuz you gotta work with the guy, but answer any extra-curricular invitation with "Sorry, I'm busy." or "Oh, I can't -- I have... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 8:23 AM on June 17, 2008

Is there some universal code word or gesture that communicates one's desire to be eaten out other than "I'm female and naked in bed with you"?

Haha, yeah that's a pretty good signal.. universal even! But if they don't get it, just say "God.., I'm soooo turned on right now -- if you go down on me, I'm pretty sure I'll come!" I actually think this is a pretty timid way to do it, but if it's a new lover, it's probably... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 10:23 AM on June 16, 2008

First of all, you rock as a gf. I'm jealous. Second.., well I second what Brockles is saying: your boyfriend is already beyond most of the base-level "racing school" courses. To get some good benefit, go for something more advanced, like this. Note the price -- you're talkin' $3000+ for one weekend. Another option is to sign him up for a few HPDE/PDX events ($150-250 per event) as a way to get more "seat time", which is really what he needs at this point.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 8:39 AM on June 16, 2008

I'm 6'4" and when I drove a Miata, I removed over an inch of foam from the driver's seat and back. It was easy (instructions here), reversible, and made a significant difference -- dunno if the Altima's seat is similarly constructed, however.
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 7:42 AM on June 12, 2008

Lexipro, for the short term at least -- helped me get through some bad times and focus on work. Long term, exercise and caffeine.
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 4:25 PM on June 1, 2008

False Dichotomy.

Yep. I'm a greedy mutherfukker, so I'd go for both. Keep painting, keep sculpting, AND date this person. A relationship doesn't (err, shouldn't) mean you drop everything you're doing in order to worship the other person. Keep pursuing your passions, allow your partner to pursue his/hers, and welcome each other into your respective worlds.

What an amazing opportunity to watch, first-hand, how falling in love influences your art.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 12:49 PM on May 30, 2008

And, to second what wayward vagabond said, it's very likely that without you pursuing your passions, without your newfound ALIVEness, you'd still be the sucking void of clinginess and NEEEEEED that so many of us are, and this awesome other person would have never found you attractive to begin with. This goes triple for guys. (Apparently, it's sorta okay for girls to be needy as long as they're hawt.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 12:54 PM on May 30, 2008

Yep, Tool has gone way poly-rhythmic with their last two albums. Here's an example, gets interesting at the 5min mark: Tool --Lateralus
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 11:24 AM on May 30, 2008

The latest Planet X album is pretty much the "Virgil Donati Show", very drum/percussion-oriented. Example: Planet X -- Quantum Factor

And Virgil is... an ALIEN...
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 12:28 PM on May 30, 2008

She's been clear, *crystal* clear: She's just not that into you. But she's too sweet and polite to tell you to fuck off, in so many words -- instead, she uses the tired old cliche that EVERYBODY is supposed to know, "Let's just be friends." And, hey, maybe she DOES like you as a friend. Buuuut unfortunately, because she's also human, she gets lonely (and horney) when she's single (and not getting laid), so at some point one thing leads to another... hence the "mixed messages".... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 2:05 PM on May 27, 2008

You could probably swing Cozumel, Mexico for that, if you're into scuba/snorkeling, beaches, Mayan ruins... (yeah, and drinking, etc.)

And of course there's always Vegas.

"little girls"? Wow.
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 9:33 AM on May 23, 2008

This isn't an exercise, but maybe it'll help you hold your head up a little higher: Girls like tall guys.
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 11:48 AM on May 21, 2008

DO NOT RESPOND. Doesn't matter how polite, clear, and/or firm you are, you are virtually guaranteed to get a followup from her -- "but... WHY?????"

Ignore them without reading**, or (even better) block/filter/auto-delete them. If you run into her, make 2 minutes of small talk and then oops look at the time I gotta go wash my hair/dog/car/brain now...

**If she's anything like my ex, she'll throw out... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 11:42 AM on May 21, 2008 marked best answer

If you haven't already hiked to the top of Looking Glass Rock in Pisgah Forrest, you really should check it out.

Grand Canyon is pretty amazing, literally breathtaking. Pictures just can't do justice to the sheer enormity of it.

The view of Lake Tahoe nestled amid snowcapped mountains from the base lift of Heavenly ski resort is pretty epic, if you're into skiing/snowboarding -- and if you ski just around the mountain, you have a panoramic view... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 1:41 PM on April 29, 2008

Seconding Dale Carnegie's book.

I just wish he'd name it "How to Stop Being an Asshole" or something like that. "How to Win Friends and Influence People" sounds so manipulative, and it's not about that at all.
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 7:40 AM on April 29, 2008

On your rest days, do what you *like* to do, whether it's volleyball, rock climbing, martial arts, wakeboarding, whatever... i.e., put all that weight training and conditioning to good/fun use. Unless you're a body-builder or pro athlete, it's not all about optimizing your training every day -- the whole point of the conditioning, IMO, is to help you enjoy your life. The side benefit of the other activities is that you'll work all those little fiddly muscles that you tend to miss with a focused... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 7:33 AM on April 29, 2008

Extreme honesty with YOURSELF? Yes. And, one step farther, accept criticism from others as sincere. If somebody tells you, "Dude, that shirt looks like shit", your natural reflex might be to retort with "Fuck you, with your raggy-ass shoes"... but recognize the truth that, even though the guy's clearly ripping on you to pump up his own ego, your shirt may indeed look shitty. Maybe it's time to go shopping; or maybe you're okay with wearing a shitty shirt. I'm not saying let... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 7:35 AM on April 25, 2008

The way it's *supposed* to work is that you send out the attraction signals (mostly non-verbal: hair-flip, smile, eye-contact, conversational touching, etc.), he receives those signals, and then he "leads the dance" from there. But guys are usually pretty clueless about such things -- even if he receives the signals, he may have no idea how to proceed. ...and the whole thing goes nowhere. (This will be worse, all around, if you're into shy and/or nerdy guys.)... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 1:57 PM on April 23, 2008

I setup this wireless link between my dad's house and sister's house, and it worked like a champ out of the box.** Solid connection for 6 months now. Probably overkill for your situation, but if you want a nice, transparent, self-contained solution... there it is. They're very happy with the solution.

** Had some IP addressing issues, referenced in this AskMe -- nothing to do with the product though, just me overthinking trying to join two subnets.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 8:15 AM on April 18, 2008

Okay, so he's crushing hard on you, and is actively trying to develop the "friendship" into something romantic. Even if he backs off all the inappropriate stuff, he'll still have feelings for you. You can't just ask somebody to not be attracted to you. And he couldn't flip that switch off if he wanted to. Doesn't work that way.

So it seems to me you have two choices:
1. Get your recommendation letter *now*, then cut him out of your life. (If I read... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 9:46 AM on April 10, 2008

The book basically tells you how to stop being an asshole, and how to be regarded as genuinely friendly and interesting. And, yeah, it works -- but if you're doing it right, you don't care about "it working"; you care about other people.
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 9:02 AM on April 2, 2008

One trick that has helps me get oriented to a new city is to buy a city map, tack it to the wall, and mark points of interest (home, work, supermarket, bars, gym, parks, library, friends' houses, whatever) on it with push-pins. Highlight the important roads.

It won't help you make friends directly, but at least it'll help you learn your way around.
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 8:44 AM on April 2, 2008

Ferrite choke -- prevents electromagnetic interference. (preview: and it's GuyZero by a nose!)
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 12:17 PM on March 26, 2008 marked best answer

E-mail was fine; good job. Just don't answer her calls or e-mail from now on, even if they are all OMGEMERGENCY!! Filter your e-mail and delete any voice mails from her without listening. (If she's really into you, she will invent any scenario to win your attention.) It would be cruel to dangle that glimmer of hope for something between you two in front of her. Let her move on.
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 9:04 AM on March 25, 2008

David DeAngelo's Body Language DVD *cough*torrent*ahem* teaches exactly this, although it's presented from the specific angle of using your "presence" to attract women. Works great for projecting a confident, leadership image for other interactions, too -- family, friends, business, etc.

And once you "get it", you'll be able to read body language in others, both men and women, much more effectively as well. I swear, it's... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 3:14 PM on March 21, 2008

It's also distinctly possible that he's trying to be sweet, doing you a favor by letting you pick what to do and where to do it. Or he was in a previous relationship where the girl did the picking. Or he thinks that the date is all about keeping YOU happy and making sure you're suitably entertained. A lot of guys think this way. (and, yeah, it pisses a lot of girls off, heh)

As a guy, I was in a long relationship where the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 12:19 PM on March 20, 2008

cut-paste of a previous comment (thread may include helpful advice too):

Back 6-7 years ago, when I was working from home and still had a land-line, there were a few months where I'd get a weird phone call every few days. It'd go:Me: Hello?
Them: May I speak with Jerry?
Me: That's me.
Them: ::CLICK::or, alternatively:Me: Hello, this is Jerry...?
Them: ::CLICK::The call would come at any time of... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 1:12 PM on March 18, 2008

As a engineer by education, programmer by occupation, I have very little traditional artistic schooling, so I use my left brain to conjure up crutches when painting:
- Create your own stencils from frisket paper. Nice, sharp lines with very little paintbrush fu. Try mixing these with free-hand brushstrokes.
- Take a digital picture of something you want to paint. Use a projector (home theater or PC presentation) to project it onto your canvas. Either sketch the outline... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 1:42 PM on March 13, 2008

Generally speaking, when you're boosting your own self-esteem by tearing away at another's, you're being a jerk. (And this is very, very common -- I'd even call it "normal behavior", unfortunately.) When you're stating your own desires and getting stuff done for yourself, you're being self-assertive.

In business, then, if you're putting somebody down or depriving them of resources to get what you want, you're being a jerk. If you're simply getting what you want,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 10:04 AM on March 12, 2008

What do you like to do? Just invite her along! Ideally, she'll invite you to participate in something she enjoys, so you can check out her own interests first-hand, but most girls really want or expect the guy to do the date-planning.

Examples: throw a frisbee in the park, go for a hike, ride bikes to the fresh market, watch a tv show together, play Rock Band at a friend's house, go rock climbing, invite her to a party, go for ice cream... (Sorry, I dunno what you like... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 11:09 AM on March 10, 2008

It's also much easier (for both parties) to say, "I'm sorry, but no" over the phone.

Just for clarity, I've found that it's rare to get an actual "I'm sorry, but no", because that's just socially uncomfortable for everybody involved. If somebody says "sure, gimme a call" to your face, but then they don't answer your messages, they're not interested. (My personal rule, for new contacts, is that two unanswered messages... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 12:49 PM on March 6, 2008

I can't think of a better way to lose a friend. You don't FIX your friends. You either accept them as they are or you, well, don't be friends with them -- which is an entirely acceptible option, fwiw.
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 9:58 AM on February 24, 2008

Ah, okay, my mistake -- if this is all a tongue-in-cheek, fun sorta thing, then rock on. I just didn't get that from the original question and completely misread the tone as more of a "I have an idiot friend. Help me fix them." thing, which happens ALL THE TIME from well-meaning people.

Carry on.
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 9:59 AM on February 25, 2008

It's a self-esteem thing. You're probably in a pretty low place, going through the divorce and all -- been there, done that (and did way shittier things than you're describing, I'm embarrassed to say). When you have low self-esteem, it's tempting and satisfying to boost your own ego by tearing away at another's. I actually feel sorry, in a way, for people that are openly mean to other people, because it generally means that they don't feel good about themselves -- and I find that very sad.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 10:44 AM on February 21, 2008 marked best answer

I'm thinking it's a bad battery ground -- either a bad connection or a bad cable. I had a problem with a '68 Mustang (intermittant weak or no crank) that I chased for over 2 years -- replaced the starter, battery, alternator... Turned out it was the ground cable... a $5 ground cable.

Cheap fixes first...
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 1:46 PM on February 20, 2008

Damn. I was gonna suggest hyggelig, but since two big jerks up there spied on my brain and posted ahead of me, here's another common Danish word:jo (pronounced "yo"): means, as best as I can tell, an emphatic "not 'no', but 'yes'"For example:Hvil du ikke har middag? (Will you not have lunch?)

Jo! (Not "no", but "yes"!)Note that either "yes" (ja) or "no"... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 1:19 PM on February 18, 2008

Oh, yeah, divabat -- I forgot about the Danish words for grandparents. Rather than a generic "grandmother" or "grandfather", they have more specific words:

mormor = mother's mother
farmor = father's mother
morfar = mother's father
farfar = father's father

...where "mor" = mother, and "far" = father, so it's real simple and sensible.

I don't know... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 8:51 AM on February 19, 2008

Building muscle is 50% diet, 25% exercise, 25% rest. I could even argue that, at least for me, diet is 75%.

diet -- Protein, protein, protein. COOKED eggs (hard boiled eggs are super-convenient, but raw eggs will get you nowhere), chicken breasts, nuts... and I suppose protein powder or bars if that's all you can do. Eat as much protein as you can, as often as you can. Five or six times a day. This is more important than exercise if you want to build muscle. Took me a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 6:50 AM on February 19, 2008

Love Letter (or Love Letters)
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 9:17 AM on February 14, 2008 marked best answer

Thirding Fight Club, not just for the "the first 45 minute for the satirical comments on identity and happiness via consumption" (well put!), but for the philosophy of: If there's something you want to do or be in life, do it. DO IT. Stop making excuses. Stop letting life get in the way. FUCKING DO IT. (Similar to Dead Poet's Society in that respect -- carpe diem, bitches.)

A Simple Plan, for its narrative of how good, honest people can turn into, essentially,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 10:22 AM on February 13, 2008

In a friendly, jokey tone, "You think I'm immoral; I think you're insane! So it kinda evens out... Viva la difference!"
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 10:03 AM on February 13, 2008

Don't tell them; it will create more problems than it solves. But, obviously, don't make up stories to pump yourself up in the future, whether sexual or not.

Actually, I'll take it one step farther: don't brag about yourself to impress people, ever, EVEN IF IT'S TRUE. Makes you look like a tool, pisses your friends off, and is real unattractive to the ladies -- it's saying "I'm insecure at my core, but check out my accomplishments/money/possessions/experiences. I'm... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 9:20 AM on February 13, 2008

From a guy's perspective, especially one that has some dating experience, it would be very difficult for me to commit to a serious relationship without having sex first. Seems very cart-before-the-horse to me. Sex is not everything, but it is important in a relationship, and I'd need to know that I was sexually compatible with somebody before promising that sort of commitment. And, honestly, if a girl didn't want to have sex with me within a few months, esp. when I'd made it clear that I *did*,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 10:37 PM on February 11, 2008

Progressive Metal in (mostly) 3/4:
Symphony X -- Revelation
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 1:16 PM on February 5, 2008

More well-known prog: Tool -- Ænema
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 2:52 PM on February 5, 2008

He's not "nuts", he has low self-esteem.. which is worse. DTMFA and put up your stalker shields. (Implement the Zero Contact Rule: Don't answer phone or reply to voice mails, no matter how desperate, don't reply to msgs/e-mails, etc. Cold, but effective.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 11:12 AM on February 4, 2008

Invite him to your living place or go to his for "drinks" or "to watch a movie".

Indeed. Asking a girl to come over "to watch a movie" has become a euphemism for "Wanna fuck?" in my world. Assuming you have a couch or someplace you can both sit together, it's a done deal.
posted to Ask Metafilter by LordSludge at 11:07 AM on February 4, 2008