Displaying comments 1 to 50 of 389
Ask post:
My scientific nemesis
Do you have any new love interests? A new relationship might help you get over your old flame.
You lead your own busy life now; without him/her. You have far better and more interesting things to do than follow up on or care about old exes. The sooner that you realise this, the better.
On preview: miasma has some good advice too.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 7:57 PM on February 16, 2008
Ask post:
It's not you, it's me
Don't feel guilty; you weren't leading him on. Don't say anything, just change the tone of your relationship: instead of one-on-one dinners, go out with him and some mutual friends.
If he turns up the romance, then tell him that you're just not interested in him in that way.
This risks a derail, but I firmly disagree with languagehat; only a homophobe would intepret being genuinely mistaken for gay as an insult.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 6:24 PM on February 10, 2008
Ask post:
Should I be blunt?
Nope, not rude. Just be confident and friendly and don't overly worry about what they think of you. FWIW, you sound like a nice person and I'll bet they won't mind at all.
That said, you mustn't always count on other people to make plans and reach out to include you; sometimes, you must reach out to others and include them.
I expect that some protocol hard-liners will comment in this thread soon to contradict me. Pre-emptively,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 3:39 PM on February 7, 2008
Oh; and I interpret the question as more than a "business transaction"; the OP (correct me if I'm wrong) wants to hang out with them a bit.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 3:41 PM on February 7, 2008
Ask post:
Definition of bonbon
What Brockles said.
Local marketing might cause bonbon to take on varied,specific meanings for different people, but really a bonbon is just a candy.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 8:36 AM on January 27, 2008
Ask post:
We don't let fuckups be bridesmaids in this wedding.
We don't need to solve her; this is a one-time logistical issue.
Ask her to be a bridesmaid, but offer her a way out (like saying grace). Make it clear that it is important to you that she be on time.
If she accepts, discreetly explain the situation to a friend (ideally another member of the wedding party) and ask for her help in keeping tabs on your bridesmaid. Bonus if this person already knows your friend's habits.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 12:36 PM on January 25, 2008
Ask post:
Date protocol: when the check comes
Etiquette dictates that the person that does the asking should pay. If he has asked you on the date, he expects to pay for you.
If you really want to, you could offer once to help with the bill. If he declines (many men will; it has to do with the traditional male role as a breadwinner and all that) then let it go and thank him. You are right to not want to make a scene.
You can offer to take him out next time, as suggested above.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 12:54 PM on January 18, 2008
Ask post:
I signed a contract in Spanish!
Am I correct in understanding that you might not need to contest this contract? If so, just get yourself an English copy of the contract (from the dealer, if possible, or otherwise have your Spanish copy translated.)
If you need to contest the contract, seek competent counsel to advise you on the matter of your Spanish contract. I would be astonished to learn that the onus is on the dealer to make sure that you understand the language of the contract you're signing.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 9:47 AM on January 18, 2008
Ask post:
Proper title for a deceased, retired officer
I am not sure that it would be appropriate or necessary to identify that he is deceased in his title at his own funeral service. Protocol has no rigid, inflexible rules; everything can be adapted to the situation.
I would identify him as Col. (Ret.) G. P. Stickfigure.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 1:31 PM on January 3, 2008
Ask post:
Did I really just pay for this class?
All schools have a mechanism for this kind of dispute.
Many schools also have academic counsellors who might advise you on how/whether to proceed. Find out if yours does and make an appointment.
"My first semester back in college (I'm an older student switching careers)"How many years ago did you take this course? This will obviously depend on the procedures of your college, but be prepared for the possibility that it was too... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 4:07 PM on December 17, 2007
Ask post:
I have an STD, help me determine when to tell him. I'm pertified.
I realise it will be hard, but you need to tell him ASAP. The later you leave this conversation, the more difficult it will be.
Be calm, direct and to-the-point. Don't have any pamphlets on hand and don't rush to talk about your whole sexual history. Just tell him that you have herpes, and offer to go get tested with him.
Then listen to him, and answer his (inevitable) questions truthfully.
Don't get defensive - you are in the wrong anyway.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 4:09 PM on December 16, 2007
Ask post:
My girlfriend's new dog is threatening our relationship
This a a very general sort of AskMe; I wish you had posed a specific question. You might have found the responses more helpful.
Here's my general advice:
The dog is here to stay.
Therefore, you have two options: leave her, or accept the dog. You should weigh them carefully, choose one of the two options and commit to it fully (rather than dithering or pursuing one of them half-heartedly.)
For... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 12:20 PM on December 15, 2007
Ask post:
Is there something morally bankrupt about advertising?
Nope, no more than plumbing.
All kinds of organizations advertise; from the good (NGOs, charities, etc) to the arguably bad (tobacco firms, fast food, etc). All kinds of organizations benefits from advertising sales. Doing business with a controversial organization does not make you responsible for their work (are construction companies to blame for the rising obesity rate because they build fast food restaurants?)
Another way of thinking about... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 12:36 PM on December 11, 2007
Ask post:
A question of faith, logic and love: where does that leave my marriage?
The root problem is that he has no discretionary spending - he needs some!
I realise that you are frustrated and upset by the possibility that he lied about it. I don't mean to defend his possible theft, but many people (particularly in his position) might consider that to be a sort of white lie - as you say, it's a small amount of money.
You should sit down with him and come to some sort of arrangement where he has money he can spend however he... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 3:55 PM on December 9, 2007
Ask post:
Oh, good morning, Dying Alone! How have you been?
Yes, you're being silly.
Everyone has flaws; how you manage them is what counts. (Would someone flawless even be attractive? Not in my opinion!) Put differently; the anxiety, anguish and shyness caused by your skin condition would cause you far more relationship trouble than the physical sight of the condition itself.
Imagine an example: a shy man who treats the stump of his lost leg with shame and embarassment is unattractive. The confident man... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 12:22 PM on December 8, 2007
Ask post:
disabled email panic
As mentioned above, call Google.
I don't know what kind of emails you're receiving, but stay calm; surely it isn't the end of the world if you can't access them. (This fellow couldn't access our acceptance email? REVOKE HIS ADMISSION!)
Set up a new email address (obviously not another Gmail address) give your grad school(s) a call and explain that your email address has changed, and any emails need to be re-sent.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 8:29 PM on December 5, 2007
Ask post:
Catholic weddings in my future? It's less likely than you think!
I have to disagree with those who are telling the OP to "suck it up".
The OP has a fundamental problem with getting married in a Catholic church. She may prefer a Catholic marriage, but "she herself is far from a devout Catholic".
The main obstacle is her parents.
Research your options (a "Catholic lite" church? A non-religious ceremony?) and talk about the options with your wife. Her parents are not... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 10:15 AM on November 6, 2007
Ask post:
Suing over unpaid wages
Let it go. Spend the time you might have spent bothering about the case on finding/pursuing a new job; this is almost certainly a better use of your time.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 10:13 PM on October 24, 2007
Ask post:
Is my neighbor a prostitute?
What is so wrong with asking, Clyde Mnestra? It seems better that the OP gets an answer and moves on with his/her life than continue gossiping. She'll probably say "I'm a notary" and that will be that.
As has been suggested above, I think you should fire up the oven, welcome her to the neighbourhood and ask her what she does for a living.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 4:46 PM on October 22, 2007
Ask post:
HIV confidentiality on the internet
The Court (or the Court webmaster) can put a piece of code in the webpage which will block search engines from indexing it. The webpage would look and be identical to the user, but it just couldn't be found by a search engine.
Perhaps you could ask the Court to do that? This way the case would still be online and accessible (as their policy presumably requires), just not indexed by commercial search engines.
(If they do agree to it, they will need to put... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 9:57 PM on October 11, 2007 
marked best answer
Ask post:
Should I bother with the make-up?
Your appearance influences the way people think about you. If you dress like a leader or a professional, people will be inclined to think of you as one.
To contradict Arch1, this actually applies whether or not your colleagues/clients know you and your concrete accomplishments. When a professional comes to work dressed as a slob, they are judged, both consciously and subconsciously by those around them.
That said, if you hate "dressing... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 10:36 AM on October 11, 2007
Ask post:
How can we thank the caregivers?
Mail them each a personal, well-written letter of thanks and CC their managers. Try to clearly highlight how their work was above and beyond what you might normally expect of a caregiver.
If you want to go beyond that, some kind of perishable might be a nice addition; think along the lines of food, flowers, chocolates, etc. I quite like the idea of hand cream.
Don't give them money, gift cards or any lasting valuable goods. As others have noted... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 7:32 AM on October 2, 2007
Ask post:
Sleeping latino statue offensive?
FWIW, it would never ever occur to me that that might be a racist symbol (speaking as a white Canadian). In fact, I had to read the full [more inside] before I even understood why anyone might think it was racist.
Keep it.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 2:24 PM on October 1, 2007
Ask post:
whose responsibility is it anyway?
I think it depends - should person A have expected person B to launder those jeans then? (Were they, for instance, in a laundry hamper on laundry day, or just dirty jeans on the ground whenever?)
If so, then person A is out of luck and if not then I would blame person B.
By the way, I feel like this question is written to bias answers to favour person B.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 10:54 AM on September 30, 2007
Ask post:
internet infamy
Find an alternate method of contacting them; clearly they are unimpressed by an email.
If you can't find anything else on their website, and they have their own domain name, run a whois search on their domain name. Often this will reveal information like phone numbers, and a mailing address. Call them, and follow up with registered mail. Start with a polite request, but if they resist, turn up the heat (katemonster has the right idea with a DMCA takedown request.)... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 10:42 AM on September 25, 2007
Ask post:
Am I a cheap bastard or not?
You do not need to donate money, but obviously there could be social consequences at work; of varying legality.
The trouble with this sort of thing is that it would be difficult, if not impossible to prove that you were passed over for a promotion because you chose not to donate.
Ultimately, you need to evaluate the risks and benefits of donating; we don't have enough information about the culture at your workplace to do it for you.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 2:53 PM on September 24, 2007
Ask post:
are all men looking for damsels in distress?
Men like to feel useful and important. I (male) wouldn't feel very comfortable in a relationship where I was simply good company.
Obviously this is a generalization (and arguably true for women as well!)
If you really want to make this relationship work, look to him for help occasionally (surely you aren't perfect.) Help could range from the very practical (cooking, repairs, etc) to something more subtle (emotional support,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Count Ziggurat
at 6:13 PM on September 23, 2007
