I've been working with actors for twenty years, and I think 99% of such stories are bullshit.

I've been an actor for twenty years, and I'm inclined to agree with you, but that's not what the poster is asking.

So: I've heard the Heath Ledger stories too, and while I cannot vouch for them one way or another, they are an example. Another anecdotal example would be Bob Hoskins, who claimed to suffer from... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 9:05 AM on July 15, 2008

I didn't help the thread out by going after Grumblebee either. I'm sorry.

ANYWAY. The book The Devil's Candy is about what amounts to full-production madness during the filming of the entirely horrible Bonfire of the Vanities. It's hilarious.

Similarly, Hearts of Darkness is a harrowing documentary about the legendary filming of Apocalypse Now,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 9:52 AM on July 15, 2008

Oh, this old chestnut. I think media outlets are required once per year or put on the po-faces and report on how dumb we are.

Do you care if your car mechanic knows what triboluminescence is? Do you care if your thoracic surgeon can't change his oil? Do you care if your nanny can't find Nauru on a map?

You know who should know these things? People whose jobs it is to care about these things. Everyone else should just mind their own fucking... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 11:56 PM on July 8, 2008

I think media outlets are required once per year or put on the po-faces

On the other hand, I'm too stupid to construct a grammatically correct sentence. America!
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 12:02 AM on July 9, 2008

Fear's "New York's All Right (If You Like Saxophones)" skips right to mind.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 2:10 PM on June 27, 2008

Public Enemy, "Burn Hollywood Burn"
Billy Joel, "Say Goodbye to Hollywood"
Goldfinger, "The City With Two Faces" (AKA "Fuck L.A.")
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 2:34 PM on June 27, 2008

Do what my beloved neighborhood bar just did and infuse a batch of whiskey with them. (Method: put cherries and whiskey into suitable jar; wait a week or so.) Cherry-infused Manhattans are the best. As a bonus, you get the liquored-up cherries to use as garnishes.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 3:07 PM on June 20, 2008

Oh, God, a nightmare from my acting past. How I do not miss rag rolling.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 11:32 AM on June 16, 2008

Jesus, there isn't even an argument here. There really is nothing to recommend Lewiston. It's a dull, featureless nothing of a town, and it quite literally stinks if you get close enough to Potlach.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 11:15 AM on May 23, 2008

the opposite of lonely

How about "content"?
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 1:04 PM on May 2, 2008

A Rape In Cyberspace. It's sort of pathologically overwritten, but it's always stuck with me.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 12:13 AM on May 2, 2008

Reunion, "Life Is A Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me)"

WE'RE DONE HERE, PEOPLE

*throws down mic*

This fucking song will now haunt me for days
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 10:08 AM on April 28, 2008

Are you thinking of "Bart Vs. Australia"?

Ward: Hello. Now, everything is all set for Bart's apology. Mr. Conover will meet you at the parliament house at three p.m. Questions?
Bart: Yeah, do the toilets go backwards in here?
Ward: No. To combat homesickness, we've installed a device that makes them swirl the correct American way.
[he flushes the toilet]
[it swirls one way, then a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 10:34 AM on April 25, 2008 marked best answer

Blarg, forgot to link. Bart vs. Australia.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 10:36 AM on April 25, 2008

"Ask me what the secret of comedy is."

"Okay, what's the--"

"TIMING!"
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 10:09 AM on April 17, 2008

This isn't an endorsement, as I've never been there, but this looks to be pretty close to you, and apparently has shitloads of TVs.

http://seattle.citysearch.com/profile/41612955/seattle_wa/sport_restaurant_and_bar.html
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 2:11 PM on April 16, 2008 marked best answer

There was more than one person in the original thread--posted by me!--who suggested that Mary might not have been so crazy.

Mary is a professional dominatrix .The required gift, willingness to travel, the preset phone dialogue, the typing of the client's particulars into a database, the hours of availability -- all standard operating procedure for the professional domina. Putting her site on aol is brilliant.
posted by mollykiely at 8:54 PM on March... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 10:42 AM on April 10, 2008

The Dandy Warhols' TV Theme Song.

Hey la, See Saw
Hey Rah, Yee Hah
Ooh, ooh, ooh

Hey la, see rah
Hey rah, see saw
Hey
Ooh, ooh ooh,

Hey la, see saw
Hey la, de dah
Oooh, ooh ooh,
Aaaah.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 11:26 PM on March 27, 2008

In Infinite Jest, David Foster Wallace takes something like a dozen pages explaining the meteoric rise and horrifying fall of the (novel's) videophoning industry. He details the rise--hey, people can see me the whole time!--and the fall--oh, GOD, people can see me the whole time--pretty hilariously.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 3:02 PM on March 21, 2008

I don't have an answer myself, because I stink, but if I may, may I ask why CoinStar is a "scam"? It charges a clearly defined price for a particular service. I've used it before without complaint (though we would separate our quarters back when we didn't have in-house laundry machines). I'm genuinely asking about the phrasing, not trying to start a fight. I also apologize about the piggybacking.

My gut tells me that this sort of question is part and parcel... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 12:53 AM on March 19, 2008

1. for those couples who made a conscientious decision to stay kid-less: how long have you two decided on this issue? any regrets so far?

Well, since we're here, 1. we've been together for about 8 years (married for 5), and no, no regrets so far. I'm one of those weird mutants who has simply just never felt it when it comes to having kids. I was really pretty worried about this when we had "the talk" about this issue,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 9:06 PM on March 11, 2008

I always liked the half-court backwards basketball shot from the delightfully crappy Alien Resurrection if only for the trivia associated with it:

Sigourney Weaver made the behind-the-back half-court basketball shot successfully after two weeks of basketball practice, tutored by a basketball coach. Her conversion rate during that two weeks was about one shot in from every six. When the day came to shoot the scene, director Jean-Pierre Jeunet... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 3:24 PM on March 11, 2008

Seconding Bruges, one of my favorite cities. Bonus: unlike Brussels, everyone in Bruges speaks English. Climb the bell tower, see the Michelangelo Pieta at the Church of Our Lady, take the Straffe Hendrik brewery tour, fuck around with the swans at the Lake of Love, settle in for a few hundred Belgian beers at the frankly incredible De Garre.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 12:48 PM on February 22, 2008 marked best answer

Oh! And while in Brussels, it would be a crime for you to miss out on one of its most awesome bars, La Mort Subite.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 12:51 PM on February 22, 2008 marked best answer

Philadelphia Freedom (to do Market Research)!
Make Cheesesteaks, Not Analytical Mistakes

Yes, these are horrible. Probably anything you pick will be horrible.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 2:16 PM on February 20, 2008 marked best answer

Rain Songs, A Virtual Flood of Songs About Rain
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 11:56 AM on February 1, 2008

An old girlfriend of mine had a gynecologist named Dr. Arm. I'm still sort of haunted by the implied imagery there.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 12:40 PM on January 31, 2008

Sister Christian.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 3:26 PM on January 23, 2008

No monster or lake, but hey, it's in black and white and has a TV crew! Man Bites Dog.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 12:19 PM on January 22, 2008

Seconding unixrat. As for your mutual acquaintances, I doubt they're going to give the gas-mask-wearing germophobe's social opinion much weight.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 1:02 PM on January 8, 2008

It's worth a shot giving a call to Hot Topic and Champion's Party Supply.

NOTE: May lead to exposure to Hot Topic.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 10:53 AM on December 28, 2007

This is an actual line from a theater review I received some years ago:

"While the stage combat is universally horrid, Skot Kurruk's deep-throating of an entire cat nearly makes the show. "

This sentence alone should tell you that nothing is unstageable.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 11:09 AM on December 26, 2007

I had this exact same problem some years ago, and trimming away the gum flap is a short-term fix, as it will creep back over the partially-emerged tooth, exactly as my dentist predicted it would. Fortunately, by the time the hideous inflammation flared up again, I had insurance and had the wretched thing pulled.

I do know that some dentists will agree to payment plans; it might be that you'd want/need a reference from a friend who patronizes the particular dentist. A... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 3:18 PM on November 19, 2007

Ah, thank you mediareport. The Poland/Germany assumption was my own stupid error.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 8:28 AM on November 19, 2007

After Hours? (A little earlier than your timeframe.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 1:29 PM on November 16, 2007

Hey! Rosanna Arquette throws her keys down to Griffin Dunne . . .
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 1:30 PM on November 16, 2007

Speaking of pathetic, ill-skilled, desperate men, only pleasure-denying flagellants would miss out on reading Ballad of the Whiskey Robber: A True Story of Bank Heists, Ice Hockey, Transylvanian Pelt Smuggling, Moonlighting Detectives, and Broken Hearts.

Atilla Ambrus versus Hungary's Finest, including one detective known lovingly as "Mound of Asshead." He didn't work pretty, but he sure worked funny.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 2:55 PM on November 15, 2007

Nick Hornby's How To Be Good fits your criterion pretty much exactly.

That said, uh, I didn't care for it, but plenty of other people seem to like it, so . . . *trails off*
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 12:43 PM on November 12, 2007

The King of Comedy, sort of?
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 2:05 PM on November 8, 2007

My wife got me a 1-year subscription with K&L out of the Bay Area. Their customer service was spot-on, and unlike a lot of these services, they don't screw you with exorbitant shipping fees. Check out the Premium Wine Club (mostly reds, an occasional white) or their Signature Reds Collection (more expensive). We never had a single problem with them.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 10:15 AM on November 8, 2007

*falls to knees*

IIIIIIIIKKYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 10:16 AM on November 8, 2007

Nelson makes a good point. This is from K&L's shipping page, after saying they "can't" ship to these states:

If you are ordering alcoholic beverages to be shipped to one of the following states...
[etc.]
...we won't be able to accept your order over the Internet. Please call (800) 247-5987 for more information.

My emphasis. Who knows? Might be worth a shot.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 11:55 AM on November 8, 2007

I'd recommend checking out The Crystal Method, particularly Vegas and Tweekend.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 2:20 PM on November 7, 2007

On the other hand, there's always Loser. You know, if you want to be a mirthless dick like I am.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 1:12 PM on November 2, 2007

Quirky toys + amazing food? I just got my wife an Aerogarden, and she loves it.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 12:05 PM on November 1, 2007

Death
Destruction
Dream
Despair
Desire
Destiny
Delirium
Delight

And . . . um . . .

Deliciousness?
Damn.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 10:47 AM on October 31, 2007

You hardly ever go wrong with a Dorothy Parker quote: "Pardon my dust."
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 12:16 PM on October 18, 2007

Barney Gumble from the Simpsons! Orange short-sleeved button-up, blue pants, tousled hair, and omnipresent beer mug (you could use near beer, or whatever). Produce a fake belch every now and then. Barney isn't noted for his mobility.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 12:04 PM on October 18, 2007

FWIW, boyfriend is about 6 feet tall, slender with some muscles. We both live in the US (New Orleans to be exact).

Well, he could wear a New Orleans Saints uniform, along with army boots. Make sure he marches in.

Oy, I suck.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 12:01 PM on October 18, 2007

Should I read them all and, if so, in what order?

Hell no. I'd recommend Garp and Hotel New Hampshire and then call it good. Under no circumstances should you attempt A Son of the Circus.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Skot at 10:57 AM on October 18, 2007