Also, what about people with unsecured wireless? I mean, are you going to ban a person because another leeched their bandwidth and downloaded the latest HOT POP ACT?

I would guess that they would be told to secure their network after the first warning.

Also, given the choice between a relatively large number of people facing the inconvenience of losing their ISP, and a relatively small number of people facing cripplingly huge... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by teleskiving at 2:44 PM on February 12, 2008

People write inflammatory comments because they want attention. It works really well.

My suggestion: implement an "ignore this" button, to be presented along with the current favoriting/flagging interface. When clicked, the text would change from "ignore this" to "you are ignoring this comment".

This would provide some positive feedback for making the choice to not encourage trollish comments. There could even be... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by teleskiving at 2:26 PM on February 12, 2008

Obama's plan does not include mandates.

Not entirely true, coverage for children would be mandatory.
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 7:36 AM on February 11, 2008

Sadly, I think the author is simply too proud to admit that her own narcissism led her to undervalue the men she now regrets breaking up with, so she's come up with this bizarre argument instead. Hopefully at some point she'll get over herself to the point where she's actually able to enjoy a normal relationship.
posted to MetaFilter by teleskiving at 2:25 PM on February 10, 2008

Maybe you could consider getting into the software quality field? It can be fun trying to break code, especially if it's someone else's. From the other side, fixing bugs can be really satisfying, and the nature of the work is that you'll spend longer working on the interesting ones you haven't seen before because the others tend to be fast to fix.

To put it another way, if you're a perfectionist then why not make it your job to perfect things?... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 11:11 AM on February 10, 2008

There is another possibility:

6. Make your job better. (And keep your side projects going at the same time).

When I was in your position, I stopped negotiating for what I wanted after a couple of early failures. This was a mistake - what I actually needed was to get better at negotiating. If you want to enjoy working for someone else, you have to exercise your right to show initiative and make respectful arguments for changes you want to see.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 2:28 AM on February 10, 2008

metahawk is right, basic assertiveness is easy to learn and enormously effective.

Find something to live for other than basic survival and materialism. Once you have that then life's big confrontations and scary things start to matter less.

This is also really good advice. When you feel yourself becoming afraid, find the love in what you're doing and you'll lose the fear. This idea is at least as old as the Bible, and it... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 3:07 AM on February 9, 2008

You sound fine to me. Obviously you have a bit of a tendency to obsess over and overthink things, but I think that's just something you need to go through. Maybe one suggestion: Try to keep up your other passions and not just completely define yourself through her, it'll make you more interesting to be around and also buffer you a bit against the effects of any possible future breakup.
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 10:42 AM on February 7, 2008

I would expect a noticeably better picture from the 10MP camera, for the reasons smackfu gives.
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 8:48 AM on February 7, 2008

Med About Mex
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 6:44 AM on February 7, 2008

kaydo's suggestion sounds good, but if it doesn't work, you might want to try the Windows connection repair if you haven't already. Open "network connections" from Control Panel, right click on the wireless connection and pick "repair". This fixed a problem for me recently.
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 5:04 AM on February 7, 2008

If you're on Windows, you could try using my program, Clutter Cloak. When you activate it with a keyboard shortcut it screens out everything except the subwindow your mouse is over. This enables you to hide all toolbars, menus, taskbars and so on. It's easier to stay focused when you're not constantly filtering out a bunch of clutter.

Of course many applications have a full screen mode which provides more or less the same functionality.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 3:03 PM on February 6, 2008

This expression might have been used to describe an old-fashioned finishing school for girls. I haven't been able to dig up anything specific though.
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 11:15 AM on February 6, 2008

Very different wording, but you might be interested in the following, which this Guardian article attributes to Coco Chanel:

"Women dress for other women and out of a spirit of competition. But if there were no longer any men, women would no longer dress at all."
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 11:33 AM on February 6, 2008

I think I've got the Barthes quote. Page in French. Google translation. Look for "monde sans hommes" in the French one or "World without men" in the English one.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 12:15 PM on February 6, 2008

Here's a better English version with the quote in context.
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 12:18 PM on February 6, 2008 marked best answer

Have a look at Chapter 1 (why should I bother) and Chapter 16 (what's in it for me) from the online text of Mindfulness in Plain English.
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 4:06 AM on February 5, 2008

Is it more true to say, "there IS a reason, but it can't be explained. You have to meditate to know it"? Or "there IS a reason, but it's different for each person"?

I think it's more of a case that there are benefits from doing it (there are plenty in this thread), but if you do it in order to get those benefits then it doesn't work. It's a bit like playing The Game.

I'm not... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 10:29 AM on February 5, 2008

Here's Hold You In My Arms from the wonderful Ray LaMontagne. The genre is American folk.
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 7:54 AM on February 5, 2008

How does a ballot design featuring a completely redundant but required step make it into production without anyone pointing out the problem? The apparent incompetence is breathtaking. Can anyone provide an explanation?
posted to MetaFilter by teleskiving at 4:55 AM on February 5, 2008

As a late starter, it can be hard to focus on the fact that you are not just on Your First Date, you are on Your First Date With X. Don't allow yourself to dwell on the former, it'll show and it's very off-putting for a woman to feel that you would be just as happy to be out with any other girl because the main thing is that You're Finally On A Date.

In terms of the date itself, I think you can define it as a success if she has a good time, whether or not she wants to... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 8:07 AM on February 4, 2008

twistofrhyme's suggestion about getting him to do something for you is a really good one. I'm not sure it necessarily needs to be one big job, but if you can find ways for him to give to you, it'll be easier for you to give to him. Just as importantly, he'll get a boost to his self-esteem which might help him to be a bit more relaxed.

Also, I think the best response to his attention seeking behavior is a little gentle teasing when he starts getting too much. You're... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 4:42 AM on February 4, 2008

Please don't tease him in order to get him to change or do anything else that is so passive and has to be interpreted by him.

To be clearer, by "teasing", I'm talking about calling out the behavior when it happens in a lighthearted and friendly way, the same as you might do with one of your other friends if they were being a pain in the ass on one particular occasion. I do agree that passive aggressiveness is never the answer.
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 7:35 AM on February 4, 2008

A UK cable channel recently changed its name to Dave. Coincidence?
posted to MetaFilter by teleskiving at 6:45 AM on February 4, 2008

I've suggested this before in previous discussions of opaque posts, but I've since accepted the fact that I'm sometimes going to miss good stuff because I don't click into posts that don't look interesting from the front page. If it was really good, there's always a chance I'll pick it up on one of my occasional visits to the popular tab, or it might make the podcast.
posted to MetaTalk by teleskiving at 4:58 AM on February 4, 2008

Also, it's perhaps insufferable of me to say this but you could make a point of seeing every annoyingly mysterious post as a reminder that you don't need to know everything. That's certainly something I could stand to be reminded of more often.
posted to MetaTalk by teleskiving at 5:03 AM on February 4, 2008

The effort to eradicate guinea worm disease worldwide has been a pretty huge success. From about 3.5 million cases in 1986 to about 16000 cases in 2004.
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 1:01 AM on February 3, 2008

You could consider a meal at the Cityscape if you have a bit of cash. I had a great brunch (sadly no longer offered) there, but it was quite a few years ago now.
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 2:26 PM on February 2, 2008

Focus on the positive reasons for working, and you'll find that you doubt yourself less. If you try to start a session of work with "I'm doing this because I'm scared of what will happen if I don't", that sets an anxious tone right from the start. A better thought is "I'm doing this because I love the subject and I'll get a wonderful feeling of achievement from completing the studies". In some sense, both statements are true, but the positive one is a much better motivator.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 8:04 AM on February 1, 2008

Like 90% of rants about men, this article is actually about alpha men. Non-alpha men don't even exist in the minds of women who write this kind of stuff.
posted to MetaFilter by teleskiving at 3:03 AM on January 31, 2008

Your best "argument" is to be consistently responsible, loving, patient, selfless, and good-humored - basically to demonstrate the qualities that most of us would consider to be characteristic of a good father. She'll need a feeling of security from you that balances out her anxieties about pregnancy.

To some extent though, I think broodiness is something that just happens. I'm 31 and it's only in the last couple of years that I've changed from being... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 2:35 AM on January 30, 2008

It sounds to me like you might be being confused by the fact that some books that are intended for experienced programmers actually start off with a very easy "Hello World" example in order to demonstrate the organization of project files, compiler invocation etc., before going straight into relatively advanced material.

Have a look at the table of contents for Learning Perl (click on items to get a sample of the text in that section). This is the kind of pace... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 5:48 PM on January 29, 2008

Part of the inherent humor in male masturbation is that 99% of it is covered by one very well known, and rather ridiculous-looking technique. It really lends itself to colorful and amusing phrases. The fact that this does not apply so much to women may be why none of their terms have really caught on.
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 6:07 AM on January 29, 2008

Throw out some junk. Be vicious, and don't be afraid to use the garbage can or donate stuff to charity that you could conceivably sell yourself - it's great to find better ways of disposing of things but sometimes stuff hangs around for years because we never get around to actually organizing things properly.

There is some evidence that doing something nice for someone else actually makes you feel better for longer than doing something nice for yourself. This could be... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 5:03 AM on January 29, 2008

I think a better suggestion would be to work on reducing bigotry generally, of which racism is just one type. That way, everybody gets plenty of work to do. Atheists and fundies, hawks and pacifists, Democrats and Republicans, Labour supporters and Conservatives, all need to learn to see each other as fellow human beings who take opposing positions, and not as strange, alien enemies.

Incidentally, apologies for linking this back to the presidential... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by teleskiving at 2:32 AM on January 28, 2008

Maybe you're just taking yourself too seriously? It's more fun to find the humor in your mistakes and flaws than it is to try to pretend they don't exist. I love that world-famous physicist Max Tegmark has a page on his site (see "goofs") where he celebrates some his worst screw-ups plus those of his friends and family, scored according to a system that factors in embarrassment, expensiveness etc.
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 7:32 AM on January 25, 2008

Very nice, but I can't follow links in posts right now - just get a little animated "sparkle" over the link text when I try to click them. This is on an iPhone/1.1.3.
posted to MetaTalk by teleskiving at 3:06 AM on January 25, 2008

Here's Bireli Lagrene playing Nuages. I think that probably counts as a 10.

I think a fairly standard progression would be from open chords to barre chords, and then legato techniques (hammer-ons and pull-offs) in terms of the left hand. For the right hand, you would go from simple strumming to basic fingerpicking and flatpicking, moving on to faster and more complicated picking and then perhaps the slightly harder hybrid picking technique (pick and fingers at the same... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 5:37 AM on January 24, 2008

Maybe it would be an idea to have a rule that obit posts have to wait until at least a week after the death. There would be a much better chance of having a decent discussion about that person's life and career, and the inevitable but probably lesser amount of snark would be a lot easier to take.
posted to MetaTalk by teleskiving at 8:40 AM on January 23, 2008

I prefer to think that most people here, when given something interesting to talk about, will do so in an intelligent and respectful way.

Depending on who you are, Ledger's death is a heartbreaking tragedy, titillating gossip, or an over-reported irrelevance. I don't think any amount of good linkage could have saved the thread from ugly clashes between these viewpoints, which all seem to be quite strongly held. As above though, I think a bit of... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by teleskiving at 8:55 AM on January 23, 2008

I'm not saying it can't be done, but it's not realistically speaking something that can be just done like that without some serious disruption of moderation and posting norms.

I can appreciate that it's a big change. Technically I think some kind of message along the lines of "n posts containing at least one of your tags were deleted in the last week for the reasons given below. Please check that none of these apply before you click... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by teleskiving at 9:57 AM on January 23, 2008

I know I should do something more.

"Should" is what we say when the main reason we're doing something is a (sometimes quite vague) fear of being judged negatively (perhaps by ourselves) and/or experiencing bad feelings. Try not to talk to yourself in those terms so much. If anything is worth doing you can find a better reason for it than "I should".

Maybe you could start saying "I want" instead?... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 1:42 AM on January 23, 2008

One more thought: I think it's helpful to maintain a distinction between what you want to do and what you feel like doing. While I think it's possible to live a life based around what you want, that is going to mean doing a lot of things that you don't feel like doing. By recognizing the difference between "I don't want to" and "I don't feel like it" you gain an extra level of control over the situation.
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 1:51 AM on January 23, 2008

This is heartbreaking.
posted to MetaFilter by teleskiving at 2:39 PM on January 22, 2008

It wouldn't be that hard to check for an empty link, though, would it? Certainly no harder than checking for double posts.

Yeah, I think stripping out would be problematic, but just giving the user a warning along the lines of "one of your links appears to point to Metafilter" would be worth doing and would really just be another test and error condition in a routine that's there already.
posted to MetaTalk by teleskiving at 2:23 AM on January 22, 2008

This is a nicely produced website. The fact that they bothered to make transcripts of almost everything is particularly cool.
posted to MetaFilter by teleskiving at 2:17 AM on January 22, 2008

I personally take a lot of comfort from my belief that people do what they are fated to do and so cannot bear ultimate moral responsibility for their actions. Which is not to say that I believe harmful actions should be consequence-free, but I do feel that any redress should be motivated by such considerations as prevention, deterrence and compensation rather than retribution.

That probably sounds very dry and academic, but I do find that once I've calmed down enough to... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 8:45 AM on January 21, 2008

Following on from what sully75 said, Eva Kor (the subject of Forgiving Dr. Mengele) is featured on The Forgiveness Project which looks like a great website about moving on.
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 9:00 AM on January 21, 2008

I feel like cursing around another person without really knowing them demonstrates a certain lack of social graces that is a red flag

If you're exhibiting the kind of unusual politeness that many people affect around a new acquaintance, and this is being met with unrestrained swearing, that would indicate to me that the person you're with is somewhat self-involved and inconsiderate. Not really traits most of us would look for in a romantic partner.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by teleskiving at 4:17 AM on January 21, 2008

I take it, then, you wish the Aeneid and all Kafka's works had been burned.

According to Wikipedia, Brod at least had the excuse that he'd told Kafka he wouldn't carry out his wish to burn his manuscripts, and despite this he had not taken this opportunity to appoint another executor.

What is not clear from the article is whether Nabokov's wife or son actually promised to destroy these index cards, explicitly said they... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by teleskiving at 8:06 AM on January 18, 2008