Seriously, do you want to shoot him now or wait 'til you get home?

You could cut up some black trash bags into little circles, put a little light adhesive on the back and cover his workspace with (semi-)Portable Holes.

An audio assault of Michigan J. Frog music accompanied by a pop-up plush frog might be attention-getting... but maybe too much.

I couldn't google up a toy anvil that could be set up to dangle precariously... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 11:47 PM on May 13, 2008 marked best answer

My apologies to Muckster, who did get to the meme first, but didn't think of a "Your Name Here" implementation. When/if my milkshake is ready, it'll be in Projects...
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 3:25 AM on February 22, 2008

"Dewey Beats Truman" was SIXTY years ago. Of course, they're more reliable. And the mistakes in that projection have been long ago explained and corrected for.

International Election Observers confidently use exit polls to determine if election fraud is occurring everywhere else in the world. The Exit Pollsters working for the Media in the USofA reached a very high level of accuracy more than 20 years ago, if I recall (when Bush Sr. beat Dukakis). Yet, in... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 4:42 PM on February 12, 2008

I am nowhere near where you're moving (you should thank your lucky stars), but my local service is Charter too. When I moved in two years ago, I got a cable (including HBO & Showtime) + internet bundle (they weren't offering phone yet) for about $55; (I am too far out of town for DSL) I was originally told it was for 6 months, but they kept charging the same rate for 12. When they finally withdrew the special rate, my bill more than doubled, but with no alternative and since >50% of my tv... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 4:00 PM on December 28, 2007

Is this still here?

Go old skool... UniVac...
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 7:48 PM on September 2, 2007

no, sien, drudge may suck but he leaves all surfaces dirtier than they were before...

howzabout...

the Freeman Dyson

Dirt Droid

Oreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

R2BJ

Electric Grandma

Optimus Clean
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 8:11 PM on September 2, 2007

Oh! I'd forgotten Hymie!
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 8:14 PM on September 2, 2007

these are all currently available domains:

LavishGratitude.com
BrainRacked.com
RackedBrain.com

mashing up things you've mentioned,
ColonialComfort.com

or the opposite of Distant Thunder...
NearbyThunder.com or CloseByThunder.com
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 1:42 PM on September 2, 2007

Considering what has happened, there's only one possible license plate message you can choose now:

SIDEBAR
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 3:02 PM on July 13, 2007

Buttering a frosted pop-tart is a fool's errand. The butter/oleo just melts and runs off. Besides, it's better to butter the 'bottom' of a pop-tart and hold it upside down; you get butter on the outer non-filled crust. Don't ask me how I know this.
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 8:17 PM on May 23, 2007 marked best answer

For the record, part of any deal is that I get to be public about everything except the identity of "new wendell". It wouldn't break my heart (or bank account) if objections by MeFi (and maybe other places where the wendell name is used) killed the deal.
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 8:14 AM on March 31, 2007

Yes, jeanmari, but I haven't written anything for them since December, my 'by-line' uses my real last name, and there was always some hassle involved in using what they called my "on-line alias", so changing to my 'other' name in my writing for them or other markets shouldn't be a big deal.

And klang, I wish...
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 9:01 AM on March 31, 2007

20 years ago, here in Southern California, my Catholic betrothed and Agnostic I only had to attend a Catholic Pre-Marriage Class with a bunch of other couples, including a guy I had met two years earlier at a radio station where he was literally being promoted by the station as a PlayBoySuperstud. I thought, 'if HE can do this, I've got no worries'. And the priest holding the class signed everybody's slip after we'd sat and listened to him for 2 hours. But we were not marrying IN a Catholic... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 9:06 PM on February 26, 2007

Santa 2.0. With Java (or other coffee to keep him awake all night), user-defined reindeer and Ruby on Rails implementation of red suit in sled. Imagine the elf icons.
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 7:31 PM on November 13, 2006

Short answer: Yes. Long answer: Hell Yeah! I owe my continued existence to two good therapists (although I've also had to deal with one who would've gotten a credit in my suicide note).

Affordability is an issue... see what your insurance covers - or if your employer has some kind of anonymous Employee Assistance program (even if it only covers a very limited number of sessions). And don't be afraid of counselors/analysts who use a "sliding fee scale" or such;... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 1:27 PM on June 20, 2006

John Scalzi's Hollywood Space Alien novel "Agent to the Stars". I laughed... I didn't cry...
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 7:22 PM on June 15, 2006

When I went to my nearest Costco (San Luis Obispo, CA) for their pharmacy last week, they seemed to have most of the same outdoor furniture they'd had a month earlier (it actually got my attention that they hadn't changed much). If you call the warehouse number for that store in San Luis Obispo on FROOM Ranch Road, I might be able to help you at this end. (But then you'll owe me... and you don't really want that...) Go ahead and call Santa Maria, Bakersfield and SW... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 3:02 AM on June 1, 2006

I used to wink some when I was younger, but I got very self-conscious of it when I was working at the same radio station with (this sounds like a joke but it's true!!!) Wink Martindale.
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 2:31 AM on June 1, 2006

My ex-wife had the same problem. It happened about the time her psychologically-diagnosed "borderline schizophrenia" jumped over the border and ran south. If 10jubilee is unwilling to offer any reasons WHY he/she is worth the kind of attention that being constantly bugged assumes, then this is very simply either a conscious or subconscious ploy to attract attention and build up his/her self-importance.

10jubilee, if you are being stalked by a truly crazy... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 1:48 PM on May 29, 2006

Namecheap is currently offering free "WhoIs Guard" with every $8.88 domain (a whopping 7 cents less than GoDaddy). I'm in the process of transferring my umpteen cool-but-unused domain names there, so I reccommend it. So, I'm sure a more informed MeFite will come along any minute to explain why that's a dumb move.
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 10:11 AM on December 17, 2005

It's pretty close to the "Alfredo Hollow" (NOT to be confused with "Alfredo's Dance", which is totally different) that is on some of the 'Famous Fonts' sites as Garfield... just look at it in Italic... not exact, but the same general shapes.
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 3:30 AM on November 2, 2005

I learned it as mi casa es su casa, which does sound cooler than the direct English translation: "My house is your house."

And some of these "Mexicanisms" started out as titles of songs sung by Gringos: "Vaya Con Dios" - Les Paul & Mary Ford, "Que Sera, Sera" - Doris Day.
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 9:10 PM on August 24, 2005

(I shouldn't say 'started out' - they were POPULARIZED by the songs)
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 9:11 PM on August 24, 2005

X-Games just ended on the ABC Owned & Operated KABC Los Angeles (I almost hate to admit I had it on the background while I was writing...) and it's been happening here at locations in Southern California, so there should be no blackout in Portland.
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 3:08 PM on August 7, 2005

Just because a very few companies dominate the television business, that doesn't mean there's a simple answer to this question.

In the good old days, no company could own more than a handful of TV stations, and no two in the same "market". Thus the Network O&O's (Owned and Operated) in a few of the largest cities vs. "affiliates" elsewhere. But there were a lot more "station groups", some affiliates, some non-network... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 2:05 PM on July 17, 2005 marked best answer

I know joke answers are frowned upon quite severely in AskMe, but I just can't resist!
IT'S CALLED THE LABOR PARTY.
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 6:39 PM on June 18, 2005

People, this is NOT a Curious George thread. There are certain rules around here for staying "on topic" that are enforced by a stern librarian and a maniac on a recumbent bike.

On topic: I can pledge a few bucks, plus 5GB monthly bandwidth on my 1and1 freebie hosting toward providing MoFi with seperate space for the wiki, or a mirror site, or whatever.

And let this be a lesson to all individual webmasters and webmistresses: Keep a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 3:38 PM on May 14, 2005

Bloody Carpet

Mister Blogwell

Star Plucker

Red Carpet Burns
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 11:05 PM on May 6, 2005 marked best answer

I'm late to the party and most of the good ones are taken, but:

lower culture...
Fred and Ethel
Donnie and Marie
Luke and Leia
Major and Burns (MASH's ferret face)
Gidney and Cloyd (the moonmen on Bullwinkle... I just like the names)
Cosmo and Wanda (the Ferret Odd-Parents)
Hansel and Gretel
Frick and Frack (no relation to Click and Clack)

higher (or... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 4:38 PM on April 30, 2005

Minneapolis and St. Paul
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 12:31 AM on May 1, 2005

I've personally gotten some good quality items at Out of the Closet, and the "traditional" thrift stores (Goodwill & Salvation Army) sometimes, but you gotta look around (and OotC was the only one to call other locations to see what they have). For "first hand" furniture, I second The Barn in Van Nuys.

recycler.com has a pretty good listing of garage sales. In the San Fernando Valley, just cruise the semi-major east-west streets (Victory, Vanowen,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 8:28 PM on March 26, 2005

For the record, I am NOT interested in getting animated... just a 4-panel comic. I've got the title as a domain name, I've got my blogging software minimally modified to handle all-graphic content and it's basically the artwork I'm struggling with; I mostly want to clean up my loosey-goosey drawing style and avoid repetitive tasks for recurring chracters and settings.
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 2:55 PM on February 5, 2005

This may be my favorite AskMe ever.

I've been working consciously on re-aligning my personal philosophy lately, not really having 'epiphanies' but erasing some disproven assumptions and working out more logical conclusions. The previous answers here have given me enough to keep my grey matter busy all week.

I have already used some of the 'free will' comments to come up with a potential bumper sticker slogan (with apologies):
FREE WILL ISN'T FREE
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 11:49 AM on January 15, 2005

They used chimes to send 'private' messages to specific employees in a way that's less distracting to customers than having "Gentlemen's Ready-to-Wear to the Red Phone" going over the PA twice an hour. It's protecting the atmosphere of an old-fashioned high-end store. Most old department stores never let the employees chat as much as at Grace Brothers, y'know.

On preview, what majick said. (I need to learn to type faster)... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 11:37 AM on January 15, 2005

I replaced a leaky radiator last summer that caused it to overheat, then started getting this problem: warm day (80+F), when the car has been used for over an hour with only brief periods stopped and parked, on city streets or stop-and-go freeways, it starts idling rough and within a few seconds chugs to a halt and can't be restarted. Resting it for 15-30 minutes 'cools it down' (no, the temp guage never goes above midpoint) so it runs again, but it stalls again after a few stoplights. I don't... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 1:06 PM on December 21, 2004

Vapor Lock sounds like what's happening to me... Thanks, ikky, jess and trh. At least now I can go to a mechanic and not sound like a doofus (on preview, Dooh, I'll keep your ignition switch idea in my back pocket).

And PP, I thought the whole WORLD knew about the folks at Dewey, Cheetham & Howe...
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 2:05 PM on December 21, 2004

Congratulations, your Jonah David shares a birthday with a certain OldSkool MeFite; which means, if you believe in Astrology, he's doomed.

I was a preemie almost a half-century ago, only 2 weeks early, but I took just as long to come home from the hospital. That's how much better things are today.

And, if I had any idea how to become successful as a "stay-at-home" writer, I'd be doing it myself.

To sum it all up..................... Congratulations!
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 8:44 PM on November 20, 2004

In a perverse way, any way you can provoke the response "You can't fire me! I quit!" would be good. But that's why I haven't supervised anyone since 1978.
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 12:52 PM on November 17, 2004

Now you're REALLY trolling, PP. :->

According to this fan, the original "In Search Of..." was rerunning in the recent past on The History Channel, and The SciFi Channel did a short-lived revival of the show, hosted NOT by Mr. Spock, but by Mitch Pillegi of "X-Files", bringing the topic almost full circle.

BTW, SciFi is going to do a "mini-marathon" of all 7 "New In Search Of..." episodes next Wednesday...... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 12:40 PM on November 17, 2004

And, if I may input a bit of potential flamebait to the original topic, I thought that the current revival of more hard-core religiosity also contributed to the ebbing interest in extra-terrestial life. I mean, if The Bible doesn't mention anything about people on other planets, then you couldn't have been abducted by one of them... It must've been... Could it be... SATAN?

Dana Carvey, we need your Church Lady now, more than ever!
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 12:46 PM on November 17, 2004

Okay, I am not anonymous but I have experienced the similar feeling that I've lost my sense of humor.

awaits "you never were funny" from the GeekChorus

First, it may not be you. Doublecheck the people around you; your girlfriend and close buds may have altered their senses of humor; are they laughing at other things as much as they used to? Are they laughing at things that don't strike you... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 9:18 PM on November 15, 2004

Very valuable info for the next time I have to flesh out an alibi... (I was in Toledo that day, it was sunny, so I didn't take my raincoat...)
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 1:56 PM on November 13, 2004

Too many of my simple pleasures are "comfort foods" (mostly high-carb, with flavor from real cheese or real chocolate)

Getting away from home; driving where you could've flown and taking the bus where you could've driven.

Big cuddly stuffed animals (Hey, I'm no furry, just for cuddling in the absence of female or canine)

Books (usually old) that look good, feel good, and, yes, even smell good. When stylish... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 11:43 AM on November 6, 2004

BTW, the Fametracker site is run by a person who also writes for MSNBC.com, so I'm making a point to NOT duplicate their "Fame Audit" feature...

And, HI, SCODY! [waves widely] Don't let those pics of me with all those MonkeyFilter-ettes make you think I've forgotten you! [flutters eyelashes flirtingly]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 1:08 PM on November 4, 2004

I understand, juv, like nobody would say John Wayne was much of an actor, he played the same character in every movie, but he did it right... So, I'm trying to avoid actors like that in favor of those who had one decent charactar in their repertoire, but insisted on trying (and failing) at others, but still kept getting work... I'm putting Keanu in that category, but maybe not Travolta.

And why hasn't anybody mentioned Governor Arnold?

I'm still... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 6:43 PM on November 4, 2004

Here are some classics.
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 3:35 PM on November 4, 2004

Nope, there's no crazy pacific island crazier than the U.S.

/recovering libertarian
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 11:50 AM on November 4, 2004

I got a very good deal on a cheap laptop; in fact, thanks to the bignamestore having to provide a substitution from the advertised deal, I got more than I was looking for, and part of that more is Wireless Capability. Not being all that interested in Wireless, I am also grossly underinformed on the subject. But now, I have discovered that, at the apartment building in which I am currently squatting, I am within range of several wireless networks, including a few that are unsecured, with names... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 8:24 PM on October 25, 2004

Thanks for the heads up(s)...
Sorry I pretty much duplicated Cunning Linguist's AskMe from June, but back then I was definately not thinking about Wireless, and my pre-search was sabotaged by my unfamiliarity with Wireless lingo.

As for my "squatting" comment, I'm 'visiting' my Father's apartment for the second time in the last year and staying at least a month longer than the 'house rules' allow. But Dear Old Dad is paranoid about the landlord, so... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 1:13 PM on October 26, 2004

The timing's finally right for me; I've been promising myself to do a novel on a specific theme for over 20 years (which means it'll probably end up an '80s period piece...)
posted to Ask Metafilter by wendell at 9:15 PM on October 18, 2004