advil, vicodin or pot.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 11:13 PM on August 15, 2008

too many brights, yes. some shade of pink (rose?) might be okay though.

i don't think pantylines would show.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 11:04 AM on April 8, 2008

Thanks everyone for the hints and support. My biggest fear has been dropping screws (in addition to just general spazzing out) and the ice cube tray trick as well as taping them onto the take apart diagram both are great ideas.

The surgery is scheduled for this weekend: I'll let you all know how it goes!

(Any other bits of advice, keep 'em coming...)
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 7:39 AM on April 3, 2008

I struggle with this too (I'm female). My problem is that I love the anticipation and euphoria -- but unfortunately those things are often coupled with anxiety and uncertainty. You're not alone, that's for sure -- and I'll be watching this thread for concrete advice, because I can certainly use it too.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 9:57 PM on April 1, 2008

Yoga and Ativan.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 9:51 PM on March 27, 2008

Thank you both. Bob Hicok. Wow.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 10:29 PM on March 23, 2008

Weeds?
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 10:28 PM on March 13, 2008

Banco de Gaia
Nortec Collective
Mint Royale (first album)
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 10:08 PM on March 12, 2008

i love askme.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 10:04 PM on March 12, 2008

Start looking through these magazines: Travel+Leisure, Conde Nast Traveler and Departures (only for Amex card holders). Guaranteed drool fest.

Also, when you have some ideas about where to go, check out tripadvisor.com
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 11:47 PM on March 11, 2008

Just set the display to sleep after a couple of minutes. System Prefs > Energy Saver. You keep the computer open but there's no more mocking screen. Make sure your laptop is elevated so it doesn't overheat.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 11:31 PM on March 10, 2008

I have a friend with twins who nanny shared for five years (with another family w/twins). She had nothing but good things to say. She found her nanny on a Twins Parent Club BBS.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 11:27 PM on March 10, 2008

I've been to Hawaii several times -- all of the islands. Let me suggest Lanikai. It's on the east side of Oahu, 30 mins from Honolulu. Close enough to drive there for the day or evening if you want nightlife or to have a drink at one of the hotels on Waikiki.

Lanikai is a cute little town with groceries, a restaurant or two, etc. Rent a place on or near the beach -- for less than $200/night. As far as wildlife goes, diving is the way to go. I got certified a few years... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 11:03 PM on March 10, 2008

Don't discount medication. I take a low dosage of Ativan in moments of OCD replays and it works wonders. The loop stops, my brain clears and I'm free.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 7:53 AM on March 5, 2008

Daily rate + all expenses paid. In SF, this would equal somewhere around $3000 ($600/day x 5 days) plus all your travel and meal expenses.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 10:32 PM on February 26, 2008

DHL all the way. They'll come pick it up anywhere they have offices (or at least they did this for me in Kinshasa, Dem. Rep. of Congo...)
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 10:27 PM on February 26, 2008

Lovely suggestions, eritain. Thank you.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 10:23 PM on February 26, 2008

A day, with the caveat that if the writing is terrible (i.e., LOTS of rewrites) it could take longer.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 3:35 AM on February 22, 2008

Babe, Pig in the City
A Bug's Life
Antz
Star Wars
Sophie's Choice
My Dinner with Andre
Baraka
Le Fabuleux Destin de Amelie Poulain
Babette's Feast
Terms of Endearment

...and a bunch of old Katharine Hepburn, Carey Grant, Bogey, Bacall, etc. movies.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 10:00 PM on February 12, 2008

Hire a qualified temporary replacement for your right-hand man. You already know that what he does is not your forte so don't risk your mental health and your business's reputation. Six months can be a very long time...
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 2:36 PM on February 10, 2008

Hawaii -- Lanai Kai, which is on the east coast of Oahu. 30 minutes from Honolulu, so everything's easy; you can rent a house (or apartment in a house - which is great) just on the beach for $200/night.

I've done it several times in exactly your situation and it's been magic every time. (I've also spent time on the big island, Maui and Kauai -- and they are all so beautiful. But Oahu is easy and you have access to everything you might want.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 11:55 PM on February 9, 2008

pop kultura
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 8:38 PM on February 2, 2008

Hip openers in yoga.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 10:14 PM on January 29, 2008

I'm a woman and I've had a lot of orgasms (thankfully) and never once have the words, "rhythmic contractions" been uttered between me and my numerous partners. In fact, I would never use those words myself to describe an orgasm -- it's beyond that.

Bottom line, don't worry about it. Or, don't worry about it beyond what a normal nice guy would worry about it. If you've got a steady partner and you can communicate at all about it, you'll figure it out.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 10:02 PM on January 29, 2008

Or, what jouke said.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 10:02 PM on January 29, 2008

The going rate in SFCA is $75/hr.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 10:09 PM on January 25, 2008

Life is complicated. I don't really understand all of these people who are advocating never speaking to each other again. It's not like one of you killed the other person's puppy! It seems like both of you have needed (and still do) to figure some shit out both about yourselves as individuals and as a couple. It might be great (albeit boring) if that all happened cleanly and clearly, but life doesn't work that way. Life is messy and confusing and unclear and sometimes you have to sit with a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 7:59 AM on January 21, 2008

willie11, I often struggle with this too. I use a version of the technique xo mentions above: although I don't really formulate sentences or phrases in advance, I do try to outline what I want to say in my head, and stick to that outline unless the opportunity seems right to throw in a bit of color, or the flow dictates following a tangent. It's a skill I've had to develop -- the art of listening and organizing at the same time -- but it's been well worth it. When I don't have so much I'm trying... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 12:20 PM on January 19, 2008

I feel for you. Although I didn't have the same religious background you've had, I've been in a similar situation and it was rough. I hate to reduce your experience down to a cliche but we've all been there: crazy attraction to a bad boy (or girl) that feeds the drama flame but is nowhere near healthy.

As someone above said, you are experiencing some wicked chemistry and if you were the type of person who could just fuck the nuts off this guy and walk away, then I would... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 7:55 PM on January 5, 2008

I'm sorry, I don't know all the details but... a friend of mine just left his Fulbright early and while I don't know if he had to pay back the money, I do know that they stopped giving him money immediately. He did want to continue working on the "subject" of his Fulbright, but, for medical reasons, needed to finish up his last 2-3 months in a different location. His sponsor (or whatever it's called) was a real stickler for the rules and said if he left, he was cut off -- no discussion.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 1:18 PM on January 3, 2008

I'm sorry that you're in this situation. I've been on both sides (as the depressed person and as the partner of a depressed person -- although neither of us were suicidal, thank god) and neither is easy.

I would second plaingurl and say that my biggest piece of advice for you would be that it is critical for you to see your own therapist who can help you be the kind of person you want to be in this situation. Regardless of the ultimate outcome for your marriage, it will... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 10:35 AM on January 3, 2008

Kudos to you photoslob. I deal with this very issue (not very successfully), at EVERY family gathering chez moi, not just Christmas. And I think many of the posters are missing the point: it's not the prayer that's the problem, it's when your relatives are the kinds of religious fanatics where every word they say is directly aimed at exposing YOU (or ME, as the case may be) as the kind of hell-bound heathen that all right-thinking, God-fearing people should avoid. I'm a quasi-spiritual, all... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 5:27 PM on December 25, 2007

I don't think this is very simple, and I don't think the OP is a "headcase." (Nice namecalling, BTW. Very helpful.) I think this is an incredibly complex situation, but most people find it easier to not confront the basic human desires that society tells us are bad. I had this very conversation with several of my coupled-off friends this weekend, and every single person admitted to having the same feelings, at one point or another, as the OP. And, all admitted that if they could've... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 6:44 PM on November 12, 2007

I've been doing this very thing off and on for the past 7 years. Do it and don't worry about it.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 9:48 PM on November 7, 2007

Is she seeing a therapist in addition to the psychiatrist? Because when I went through something similar (mid-20s, not a teenager) my psychiatrist wasn't the person I actually wanted to talk to about stuff. He was more interested in trying to evaluate my physiological and mental/emotional response to the medications.

My therapist, on the other hand, wanted to get in there and get at the dark stuff. I could and did talk to her about anything. And while I realize the meds... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 9:27 PM on November 1, 2007

I also have to go in the morning, or I simply won't go, regardless of my intentions, how shitty I feel, how guilty I feel, etc. So, yes, first thing in the morning is key.

Also key: you gotta go somewhere convenient. If I am even the slightest bit hassled by having to go do yoga, I won't do it. Even though I know that I will feel 1000000% better if I go.

And, finally, I don't know if you have weight or body image issues, but...I do, albeit slight... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 5:07 PM on October 31, 2007

I second jessamyn: find someplace to volunteer. It's a "social" situation, but you have a task to do or a function to fulfill so it just feels less awkward to be hanging out with a bunch of people you don't know. It also gives you a built-in, immediate subject to talk about which can help take away a LOT of the anxiety that is always present, at least for me, when I walk into a room full of unknown people. You'll also meet people that share your same interests, and, who knows, you may... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 9:06 AM on October 29, 2007

My BF "cheated" on me and I found out by reading his email. It sucked, but I got over it, especially because I understood why it happened. That was four years ago and while sometimes those uncertain feelings raise their ugly heads, I always tell him when it happens, we talk about it, and move on. It helped that, after I found out and confronted him about it, he promised me that nothing like that would ever happen again, and that if he was unhappy in our relationship, he would tell me... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 6:10 PM on October 26, 2007

I have a friend who was sexually abused by her father when she was younger (now 40+) -- she just went through The Hoffman Process. The change in her has been remarkable.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 6:40 AM on October 25, 2007

www.zappos.com

They rule -- order whatever you want and you can return it for free.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 5:26 PM on October 20, 2007

Changes in barometric pressure are the number one trigger for my migraines. I'm 40 now and have had them since I was 8. Also, I've lived in Northern CA, Pacific Northwest, Midwest, France and Africa and it's been the same everywhere.

Second trigger is weird light things, like strobe lights, looking at someone sitting against a window, esp. if they are sitting in front of venetian blinds, fireworks, etc.

Thank you, jamjam, for bringing up the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 11:49 AM on October 20, 2007

http://www.skypestyle.com/mac_compatible_skype_phones.htm#mac_cordless

I have a PowerBook G4 and use this Keyspan cordless USB phone:
http://www.skypestyle.com/keyspan_cordless_voip_phone.htm

You plug the dongle into a USB port and the phone is cordless. It works great and wasn't too expensive.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 7:57 AM on October 10, 2007

My mom and stepdad were high school sweethearts. He was one year older, went off to college but they still dated. When my mom graduated HS she wanted to get married, but he said he wanted to graduate college first so he could support them. She got pissed, and went to a different college where she met my dad. In a fit of immaturity/anger (her words) she started dating him, dumped her HS BF and got married to my dad. Three kids and 14 unhappy years later (he was an alcoholic) she was visiting my... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 7:29 AM on October 10, 2007 marked best answer

Don't overthink it. Get his number from your friend and call him up. (No MySpace message -- that's wimpy.) And remember: don't make assumptions and don't take things too personally. Being laid back is the key to successful "just dating." Also, be patient.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 8:22 AM on September 29, 2007

The Max Linder Panorama (www.maxlinder.com).
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 12:09 AM on September 24, 2007

What are you interested in studying/doing?
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 8:43 AM on September 23, 2007

I should have said this before: I live in Paris and have friends who are professors at AUP and was thinking of suggesting it before, so I would certainly second charlesv. Was also thinking of suggesting Parsons Paris (now called The New School Paris) if you're interested in the arts, as I have a friend who is a professor there as well.

Before I moved to Paris, I spent several chunks of time here, and took a month-long half-day intensive at the Alliance Francaise once... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 10:16 AM on September 23, 2007

@ tristeza

How about Kiehl's Ultra Protection Water-Based Suncreeen Lotion SPF 25?

Not greasy, doesn't clog your pores, unscented, works great.

I used to use Neutrogena sunscreens -- but they were too greasy and I always got very stuffed up for about 30 minutes post application. Not with Kiehl's. It's expensive, but worth it.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 9:28 AM on September 23, 2007

Try meetup.com. I moved to Paris a few months ago and was faced with the same problem, but, I joined a bunch of different Meetup groups and forced myself (through loads of anxiety) to just go to events and see what happened. And, I've met a lot of really nice people -- you'd be amazed how many people are in the same boat.
posted to Ask Metafilter by hapax_legomenon at 9:20 AM on September 23, 2007

@ sleepy pete:

Wait, were you there for the '88 championship win with Manning? I wasn't, but I heard it was pretty crazy

Yep, I was there and it was a total blast. Not only was Lawrence out of control, but Westport in KC was a madhouse. The streets were jammed and people were going nuts all night long. Good times.
posted to MetaFilter by hapax_legomenon at 3:40 AM on September 22, 2007