Mine are "givemeagun!" (so I can shoot myself) and "ineedaknife" (with which to slash my wrists.) Lately, though, it's been "Nobody!" I know that this last one used to mean something, but I can't even remember what.

Uh, those are mostly uttered in my head, occasionally mumbled...I'm not walking around screaming about needing a gun...

arcanecrowbar: I just started reading Bleak House... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 12:31 PM on July 23, 2008

Over Christmas, I did the exact thing you just described for my family, using Blogspot.

First, I registered a gmail address for myself--both Blogspot and Gmail are owned by Google--then went to blogspot.com and used my new account to set-up a new blog. Trust me, it's dead simple: choose a name, choose a template, and you're done. You have to know exactly zero HTML.

After the blog was set up, I went back to gmail and created accounts for all the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 5:48 PM on June 2, 2008

Let me pop in one more time to say that, like you, when I set up the blog for my mostly middle-aged family I was sure that they'd exclusively use the Post By Email option, too. But the Blogspot posting form is so simple it's pretty much identical to sending an email anyway, and now almost all my family uses that instead.

That is, to send an email, they log onto a website using their username and password, then click New Message. They type their message into a simple text... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 6:39 PM on June 2, 2008

R. Kelly's "Ignition (Remix)" would seem to qualify as well, but a closer reading of the lyrics reveals a much more mindblowing scenario:

Runnin' her hands through my 'fro
Bouncin' on twenty fo's
While they say on the radio:

'It's the remix to ignition
Hot and fresh out the kitchen...'

This song--the one we're actually listening to--isn't "Ignition... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 7:16 AM on May 11, 2008

Awesome, these are all exactly what I'm looking for. My nightmare of a thread full of one word answers--reflected in the tone of my question--has so far been averted. Thanks!

I had totally forgotten that the Die Hard source material was about as convoluted as the Tommy Westphal universe...

These don't necessarily have to be films: Power Rangers is presented as an inclusive series, but the action sequences of each season are from different and... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 3:20 PM on April 30, 2008

I think you definitely are gonna want to pick up a book called Jack Kerouac’s American Journey, by Paul Maher, Jr., which details the four long-distance trips that Kerouac made between 1947, when he bused and hitchhiked by himself from New York to Denver, and 1950, when he drove with Cassady and another friend from Denver to Mexico City.

You'll probably also be interested in this eye-opening New Yorker article, which attempts to ground Kerouac as a serious writer and... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 3:27 AM on April 25, 2008

"In conclusion, English is barbarian-speak."

I'm not sure if you were referencing this fact or not, but the word 'barbarian' comes from Greeks imitating non-Greek speakers.

"The word barbaros did not necessarily have the pejorative connotations that it does for us: barbaroi were simply people who didn’t speak Greek and whose speech sounded, to Greek ears, like bar-bar-bar."... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 7:14 PM on April 24, 2008

Not entirely on-topic, but The Civil War Museum in New Orleans has a crown of thorns that was sent to Jefferson Davis, the former President of the CSA, while he was jailed following the Confederacy's defeat. The crown was handmade by Pope Pius IX.

"[C]omfort was extended by the Vicar of Christ himself, Ven. Pope Pius IX. It took the form of a crown of thorns woven by the pope with his own hands and a portrait of the pontiff autographed with the words from Scripture,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 9:36 AM on April 22, 2008

From A rebours, by Joris-Karl Huysmans, 1884:

Des Esseintes acquired the reputation of an eccentric, which he enhanced by giving famous dinners to men of letters, one of which was a funeral repast.

In the dining room, hung in black and opening on the transformed garden with its ash-powdered walks, its little pool now bordered with basalt and filled with ink, its clumps of cypresses and pines, the dinner had been served on a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 10:00 AM on April 15, 2008 marked best answer

If you decide to recreate Huysmans' black feast I excerpted above, note that it didn't go well for Tarquin Winot, the narrator of John Lanchester's 1997 novel The Debt To Pleasure:

I told her, with that mixture of endearment and melancholy that attends the recitation of the follies of one's youth, about something I did once in what I used to call my aesthetic period. The idea, cribbed from Huysmans, was to serve a menu consisting entirely of black... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 3:58 PM on April 15, 2008

I drive a cab in New Orleans and chaperoning vacationing MeFites around is the closest I get to a meet-up...send me some MeFi Mail and I'll give you my digits. We'll go shopping!

(That's true for anyone else reading this thread, too...if you're coming to New Orleans, drop me a line.)... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 11:37 AM on April 8, 2008

Thanks, guys! Of course the ones I've already read are clumped up at the end...I have a lot of reading ahead of me. It'll be like college all over again.

If anyone wants to join me, send me a MeFi mail; maybe I'll set some sort of discussion board up. (Sample discussion: "Leave me alone! I have to read all of Mansfield Park in one week!")

I'm actually sort of excited about Masterpiece Contemporary, the new series focusing only on... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 8:26 PM on December 30, 2007

If anyone's still following this thread, I thought you may be interested in knowing that, to everyone's surprise--mine most of all--I actually did read all of Austen's books in advance of the PBS airings.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 8:47 PM on March 30, 2008

There's lots and lots of great advice here, so can I give you some advice about how to present it? Presumably you'll be sending her an email about your thoughts on the SEO firm's proposal, and as I re-read your question it occurs to me that you've already done a great job summarizing your position. Your question is clear, concise, passionate, and shows a true affection for your client. For a designer, you're a pretty good writer. (That was a joke; calm down, everybody.)... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 2:49 PM on March 23, 2008 marked best answer

I'm actually in my cab as we speak, typing this on my Blackberry, so I won't be able to post more until tomorrow "morning." I was just going to wait until then to post anything at all in this thread, but upon reflection, I realized that not being able to talk about working my taxi because I'm too busy working my taxi is actually a pretty good answer to your question. In other words, here's a joke we tell the rookie drivers who find themselves intoxicated by the idea of being able to... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 1:16 AM on March 20, 2008

BB: I don't know about Chicago, but my meter runs on both distance AND time. It ticks every eighth of a mile or forty seconds, whichever comes first. However, you have to be going REALLY slow to not go an eighth a mile in forty seconds...less than eleven miles an hour, I think, but somebody check my math.

It's more of a consolation prize for being stopped than anything else. Believe me, we make way more money with the wheels rolling.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 2:18 PM on March 20, 2008

Wow, there are a lot of cabbies and former-cabbies on Metafilter. We should totally have a meet-up at a 24-hour diner or an off track betting parlor!

So anyway, now that I read through this thread, I realize that the New Orleans taxi industry is unique enough that going into detail about how I do my job would be useless to people curious about driving a cab in general. For example: I'm human-dispatched, my car looks like a taxi but is mostly a livery cab, and I have it... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 6:28 PM on March 20, 2008 marked best answer

I'm not gay, but I do drive a cab in New Orleans, so I might have a little insight here.

The bottom end of the French Quarter--that is, the one closest to the Marigny--has a pretty high density of gay clubs and bars. At St. Ann and Bourbon is Parade (which most people still call The Pub) and Oz. These are really clubby...they're pretty much like any other Bourbon St club, except the drunken 20-year-olds dancing on the bars are skinny dudes instead of sorority girls.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 1:47 AM on March 14, 2008

Men Without Hats: The Safety Dance? (Sorry, no link...on my Blackberry. Undoubtedly YouTube has it.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 10:30 PM on March 8, 2008

This is a stab in the dark, obviously, but could your memory be combining The Safety Dance video with the Rock Me Amadeus video? They're similar in the sense that they both seem to take place in the past but could very well be, Riddley Walker-style, in a dim and distant future.

Of course, it could be any one of ten thousand videos..."a man dressed in some kind of rags and being led around this strange fantasy world by a girl who also wore rags" was a pretty... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 12:52 AM on March 9, 2008

The Fearless Four, an old school hip-hop crew best known for "Rockin' It," released a song in the early 80s called "F-4000" that was entirely done in robot voice.

(Actually it's a heavily vocoder-ed rap, dispassionately delivered, clearly meant to evoke a robotic voice...I'm not sure if you're looking specifically for synthesized speech.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 2:03 PM on March 1, 2008

I drive a cab in New Orleans and chaperoning vacationing MeFites around is the closest I get to a meet-up...send me some MeFi mail and I'll hook you up with a secret numerical code that, when entered into your cell phone, will contact me. Do try to get in touch before you're actually in New Orleans...I lead a complicated life and can't make any promises.

(This offer is good for anyone else reading this, too, even if the thread is archived. Send me some mail, be a MeFite... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 11:50 PM on February 11, 2008

Metafilter has a history of overrating the amount by which an artist is underrated. There was an AskMe a couple years ago about the most underrated musicians, and the resulting thread was basically a list of the most popular and successful artists in music.

I'm not adding anything new here, but of the suggestions already offered I'd nominate the following as true "cult" books, meaning they have an elusive quality that makes them more than just "obscure... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 1:56 AM on December 28, 2007

(I just want to say that this post title made me smile.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 3:20 AM on December 25, 2007

I totally agree with everyone else, don't get me wrong.

But: maybe you or your mom knows an underemployed or just plain spontaneous person who would be willing to shepherd it to Chicago via train or bus, in exchange for a free round-trip ticket, a week of room and board in Chicago or San Diego, and a story they can tell for years? Depending on how strong your gag reflex is, you could pitch it as a quirky adventure perfect for a whimsical real-life Amelie or the second... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 9:38 PM on December 21, 2007

I'm sure you'll get some great answers here, but you might want to try cross-posting this on Board Game Geek's Game Designer forums. The people on there literally spend hours a day thinking and writing about stuff like this, and giving them this question would be a wonderful Christmas gift that would appreciate with gusto.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 9:08 PM on December 21, 2007

(I actually like the desk accessory idea.)

As my friends and relatives will tell you, guys are tough to buy for and *single* guys are IMPOSSIBLE to buy for; even unemployed, it's safe to say that if there's something he's genuinely wanted that costs less than fifty bucks, he's probably already bought it for himself. Every bachelor Christmas gift goes into one of two categories: Stuff I Don't Want That I Will Get Rid Of and Stuff That's Sorta Okay I Guess That I Probably... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 10:47 AM on December 21, 2007

I highly recommend the two novels in M. T. Anderson's Thrilling Tales series, Whales On Stilts and The Clue of the Linoleum Lederhosen. (The third one, Jasper Dash And The Flame-Pits Of Delaware, comes out in August.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 9:53 PM on December 20, 2007

Not to get utterly pedantic, but I think a distinction can be drawn between a monocle, which is a type of corrective lens worn in the eye, and a quizzing glass, which is a small magnifying glass held at a distance.

Though more or less interchangable to us today, I would imagine that the two items had different connotations to our ancestors: a monocle represented a certain kind of stodgy upper-class stuffiness, whereas using a quizzing glass to inspect some passing fancy... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 12:31 AM on December 7, 2007

Hey guys...my girlfriend wants to thank all of you for your recommendations, as they've given her a much better idea of what cheap mp3 players are out there, what her options are, and some other considerations to keep in mind.

As for the "buy a kid some Christmas gifts" program, it's set up through her city's Social Services. It's not anything like a distinct charity...even calling it a "program" makes it sound fancier than it really is; it's just... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 12:14 PM on December 2, 2007

Uh, ignore what I just said. The program is called Operation Good Cheer. Weirdly, I can't find an official website, but here's some information from a press release:

"This entirely volunteer Christmas gift-giving program, sponsored and coordinated by Child & Family Services of Michigan, Inc. State Office, began in 1971 by individuals who wanted to make a difference in the lives of children who reside in foster care. Recipients include infants, children,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 6:00 PM on December 2, 2007

Origami: are you asking how to wear the pager at work, or do you have to carry it around in your non-work life?
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 9:56 AM on December 2, 2007

(Good luck! Let us know how you do...)
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 4:46 AM on November 30, 2007

There are some great suggestions in this thread--it bums me out that my beloved Eurogames are so dice-phobic!--but can I be utterly dull and prosaic and say that the best gift a hobbyist can receive from a non-hobbyist is a gift certificate?

I know it doesn't sound very romantic, but it's the only way to ensure that she'll get the dice she needs in the look she wants. Buy her one of these d20 rings from Etsy,

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 9:23 PM on November 26, 2007

I *highly* recommend posting this question on BoardGameGeek. AskMe is great for a lot of things, but by definition it has a broader audience than BGG. The guys at BGG really know their board games and will be able to offer some really great, really specific, suggestions based on your criteria.

Not that there haven't been some great suggestions in this thread, but if you have a question about board games, go to the experts. (If you don't want to get your own account over... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 11:16 PM on November 21, 2007

In an early Simpsons episode--first season, maybe--Bart is forced to sing "John Henry" as punishment on a field trip.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 10:56 AM on November 21, 2007

I drive a cab in New Orleans, and for us the bigger night for bar traffic is Thursday night. I always assumed it was because by Thursday evening you'd been stuck in a house with your relatives for about 24 hours. Christmas night is pretty busy for us, too, and for probably the same reason.

(Personally, I can't imagine back in college getting home on Wednesday and telling my mom I was immediately going out and would be hungover and grouchy for Thanksgiving.)... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 10:42 AM on November 21, 2007

(Oh, and you know what cab drivers and bartenders call all of these 'Biggest Bar Night Of The Year!!!' candidates? Amateur Night.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 10:50 AM on November 21, 2007

A couple weeks ago, I overheard a lawyer friend of mine tell one of her undergrad employees who complained about having to work late: "News flash, dude: life is hard, and it's getting shorter."

Not exactly what you're looking for, but close enough I thought you'd appreciate it. (I should point out that it's possible she was quoting something, but Google doesn't find anything and it's not out-of-character for her to come up with something that awesome off-the-cuff.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 2:54 PM on November 20, 2007

The film's based on a Stephen Millhauser novella; perhaps it answers some of your questions. I haven't read it myself but I love Millhauser's EDWIN MULLHOUSE and a few others, and I feel pretty strongly that even if the story doesn't add much to your appreciation of the film, reading it would hardly be a waste of time.

I get asked about The Prestige and The Illusionist A LOT after gigs, and my stock answer is that The Prestige is the better movie, but The Illusionist is... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 2:30 PM on November 20, 2007

How is it played on a console, where you obviously don't have two joysticks?
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 11:10 AM on November 15, 2007

Yeah, I assumed that's how it was done, it just seemed, uh, inelegant. That is, replacing the 360 degree range of fire with four basic directions.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 6:01 PM on November 19, 2007

New York Times article on the popularity of 80s sitcoms in Russia:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/10/world/europe/10sitcom.html
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 11:05 AM on November 15, 2007

Karina, in generally negative but thoughtful review at Spout.com, writes:

"I’m not someone who usually takes much pleasure from good CGI, but if there’s one thing we should all be able to agree on when it comes to Southland Tales, it’s that the effects are truly special. Particularly in the film’s spectacular final twenty minutes, Southland Tales contains some of the most purely beautiful digital effects that I’ve ever seen on a big screen.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 10:16 AM on November 15, 2007

Whoops, posted too soon. What I meant by quoting that is, if you're a fan of special effects, that might be a good enough reason to go back.

(Personally, though, the film seems like a unredeemable trainwreck. The cast list alone makes it seem like a pretentious version It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World. I can't imagine seeing it once, much less twice.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 10:20 AM on November 15, 2007

I would highly recommend you also post this on BoardGameGeek.com. The knowledge of some of the members is frightening...
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 3:08 AM on November 12, 2007

Thanks for posting this question, Telf! I compose an identical one in my head every single time I go to my own local Asian supermarket.

I'm surprised there isn't a blog that features interesting products from Asian supermarkets and recipes you can use them in. It seems like the sort of thing that young food bloggers would be all over...does anyone know of something like this?

Or will one of you just steal my idea and do it yourself, then send me... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 5:57 PM on October 12, 2007

I can only offer my own personal experience here, and say that I use my Blackberry 8703e for about 95% of my internet browsing and I love it so much, even more than I thought I would. I've had it for about six months now, and I honestly can't think of what I'd change about it. I was just thinking the other week how nice it is to have made a tech purchase I didn't at least minorly regret on some level.

I tried Opera Mini, but ended up abandoning it in favor of the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 5:16 PM on October 12, 2007

SCDB: There's at least one unwinnable Freecell game. Check out the Internet Free Cell Project as detailed on the Wikipedia page:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FreeCell

The result is interesting--apparently #11,982 is unwinnable--but the process is what's really intriguing to me. None of us can play Free Cell as well as all of us can play Free Cell.

Scroll down a bit on the Wikipedia page...supposedly there are two more... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 5:01 PM on October 12, 2007

Also, here's a game recommendation for the Settlers fans in this thread:

TRADERS OF GENOA is easy to learn, but it's a more involved, more complex, more Italian Renaissance-y version of Settlers. Imagine a Catan where you not only traded Bricks and Wheat, but property rights for settlements, crop options, and right-of-way.

In Settlers you can trade five commodities, but in Traders the list is at least twice as long. So the negotiations are much... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ian A.T. at 4:05 PM on September 24, 2007