Is love enough to avoid these hurtles?
This should really be "Is love enough to overcome these hurdles?" For what it's worth, all these problems are what you think. Not what he thinks. You haven't indicated that he also agrees this is an issue. It sounds like he thinks he's totally fine. If he also thought these could be a roadblock and wanted to fix them, it might be okay. You have to both recognize them and want to overcome these issues. Thinking... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 7:24 AM on July 24, 2008

In some places people close the gap so that others don't slide in and get in front of them. I usually assume it's a "me first" thing. Sometimes you'll notice people specifically speeding up to close the distance and block others out (particularly when a neighbor puts on their blinker).

Other times it is because there is no place else to go. The guy at the front of the line is too slow, and the surrounding traffic is too slow or heavy to weave in and out of... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 10:14 AM on July 23, 2008

Has he ever told you that he loved you? If yes, I don't think it is doomed, but I think it is important to find ways to get past it. If no, then your challenges may be greater.

My SO is not very verbally expressive, like yours, though for different reasons. I am more like you. Yes, I wish he would be more expressive. Past SOs were and it is hard to not have as many verbal declarations. I am sometimes insecure and will flat out ask or fish for declarations. It's... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 8:40 AM on July 22, 2008

What are you trying to get out of? Why is lying the best option? Are you actually intending to make yourself sick or just come up with something believable?

Could you reduce your fluid intake to become dehydrated? It's pretty hot in NYC right now so going outside or standing on the subway platform might accelerate the process. To be honest, it is not a safe plan and I would not to do it myself.

I think mkultra has it. If so,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 7:30 AM on July 22, 2008

Disclaimer: This is written without knowing what types of places you are applying to. That sort of info would be helpful.

I just posted a design position on CL today and received a flood of emails already. Many of whom are very over-qualified and have much more experience than you do. Consider that it could be the venue. Try expanding your search on indeed.com or specific company sites.

To start out with - I had no idea all that text on the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 3:08 PM on July 21, 2008

I say something about how I am at the age where my metabolism is starting to slow and my luck won't last forever. I don't have to "return" anything, plus it's like commiserating and tends to not make people feel bad.

FWIW, I know plenty of people who work out way more and eat much healthier (and eat less) than I do, yet are still overweight, so making comments about those items is mean and unnecessary.

I hate it when... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 11:45 AM on July 21, 2008

I think you're overthinking this and I am kind of reading a lot of excuses. Don't rely on college for real friends and some fun - I mean, sure you can have that, but college is a lot more than that and you can have those things at any college or no school at all. Also, not knowing anyone at a college is not a good reason for avoiding that college. If you can't afford LMC and have to stay in Chattanooga, and there are no other options, I think you should reconsider UT Chattanooga. Perhaps you... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 12:58 PM on July 17, 2008

Here's my two cents as a bride planning a wedding. Most of the stuff is not all that out of line. I mean, I've paid over $1500 to go to at least 4-5 weddings in the past three years that I was not even in. So in terms of transportation, hotel, etc I don't think that's the end of the world - you kind of knew that stuff going in.

As for the dress and shoes, that is also part of the "deal" in being in the wedding party. Some couples are generous and will... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 7:14 AM on July 15, 2008

Kids are smarter than you think. In a few years they'll realize that mom's spending isn't in line with her professional income and that she's either in a world of debt or that someone else is footing the bill. Wouldn't it be better if they came to realize your contribution rather than your forcing it down their throats?

FWIW, even if you were with them >50% of the time, they'd probably still claim you are abandoning them, since they're nine and the world revolves... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 11:40 AM on July 14, 2008

In regards to Knile's comment, I drove by the Apex in Baltimore last week and it was still open. Have not been there so I can't speak to the beer can/furnace/etc atmosphere.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 1:47 PM on July 12, 2008

Not an artist, though have had many experiences with them. Mostly graphic designers though other types as well. I would say the biggest thing is to learn people skills - which is not exactly in the curriculum. Learn how to interact and deal with people. Know how to avoid or resolve conflict. Learn how to not be an a**hole. To be perfectly frank, my best friend is in the art world and we used to work at the same place. My colleagues HATED her and couldn't understand how we were... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 9:38 AM on July 10, 2008

The ding-y bells that you find on some service counters.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 6:50 AM on July 8, 2008

Fairway is like no other market. Seriously. It's like an actual super-market. But it's a schlep to the two locations around there from where you are. It is good for a serious first-stock-of-the-kitchen run, as they have pretty much everything you could want and the prices are very reasonable. If I could, I would shop there all the time, but it just isn't that convenient for me. It's sort of confusing, with things appearing in multiple locations and sometimes the layout/location of items... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 11:05 AM on July 7, 2008

Recently I've read that a good way to approach this is to back off, but if/when she complains, ask her how she feels and encourage her to really think about the issues, without giving your own commentary.

That is, don't tell her she's making a huge mistake, because she will be more likely to want to "prove everyone wrong," but be there for her when things are tough. If she starts to doubt or complain, just encourage her to share and cultivate her thoughts and... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 8:54 AM on July 7, 2008

If you reduce your hours to part time, your boss will want to reduce your pay and depending on your company's policy, your benefits. It is very possible that your part-time colleagues' benefits are covered under someone else's plan. I would read up on the company manual ASAP to make sure you'll still have your benefits or find out the minimum hours needed to retain them. Other than that, what thinkingwoman said.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 4:52 PM on June 30, 2008

I wanted to drop in and post a follow-up comment to my original question - hopefully this will be as helpful to others as it was to me.

In the end, I did not go shopping with my friend, and ended up going this past weekend with my mother and grandmother. Turns out there is no champagne to be had when trying on dresses - at least not at the stores I visited. That makes sense but I feel lied to by Hollywood.

Anyway, based on your recommendations,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 4:37 PM on June 30, 2008

If I had to venture a guess - you are being supported by somebody, probably in your family (since you allude to the fact that you don't have a job at all, etc.). So my thought is that your family is not overly concerned that you will be unconventional, but rather that you will continue to wander at their expense.

I have plenty of friends who travel the globe and do unconventional things. But they pay their own way and everyone around them is supportive. Here's some... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 3:38 PM on June 29, 2008

but it would be nice of you to do it in such a way that your folks don't feel ripped off by the fact that they paid for you to get an education
posted by konolia at 9:11 PM on June 29

This is a really good point. Chances are, your parents paid a lot of money so that you could go to college, or invested time in making sure your pre-college grades were good or that you were able to participate in extracurricular activities, etc. They... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 7:32 PM on June 29, 2008

I had that role in the in-house agency for a large organization and didn't really like it. It was like I had all of the responsibility and none of the power. Often my recommendations to clients were ignored and when things went wrong I took the blame. Thank yous were rare when things went well - even when I moved mountains. Not that I am searching for validation, but it was tough to keep enthusiasm. I had to be the bad guy against my own coworkers or external vendors on behalf of my clients.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 1:34 PM on June 25, 2008 marked best answer

I'll bite, even though I flagged you. One of the strangest things to first learn is that jobs change. The people, the culture, the work itself. Nothing stays as it was. It sounds like you're having a hard time reconciling what was once a great job with what you are currently facing. You can leave whenever you want. 15 months is enough time, particularly if you are still in grad school.

Other than that, you sound whiny and naive. I mean, nothing you wrote is... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 7:08 AM on June 25, 2008 marked best answer

Lots of places will do this, though you will probably have to get the organization's credit approved with the vendor first. You might want to check out 4imprint, lots of options and the prices are generally pretty good. They send you samples for free and the customer service people are nice.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 10:06 AM on June 12, 2008

Legalities aside, is there any reason why this is not a good idea?

Not sure about your career path, but your resume would need some fixing. And if someone decides to check you out and finds out that you graduated US State in 2000 and not 2002, that's not going to look good. What about your jobs? Do you shorten the time span or just take one out entirely? Then you become someone with 5-7 years experience, rather than 8-10, which is a different... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 9:01 PM on June 8, 2008

A very good deal, and a decent neighborhood. Stuff to do - lots especially near Columbia on the Broadway side between 100 and 116, as a few have said. If it is not a Columbia sublet, as EatenByAGrue mentions, I would say it sounds too good to be true. Definitely ask a lot of questions. If you are subletting a CU apartment, make sure you are on the up-and-up, so you don't get kicked out or overcharged, etc. There's an application process and everything according to that page.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 7:26 PM on June 2, 2008

Congrats on your hard work! With all due respect, one semester of 4.0 isn't going to produce a windfall unless you are consistently successful in your endeavor to get good grades. How many more semesters do you have left? What were your grades prior to dropping out? Otherwise I say what everyone above me has said. The doors will open at certain companies, and if you supplement your grades with other pursuits your resume will be more well-rounded and make you more marketable. In addition to... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 1:05 PM on June 2, 2008

Those room sizes don't seem correct and definitely don't seem subsidized. I know people in university-subsidized apartments living in Manhattan with less rent and over twice the square footage. Two people in a 300 sf 1-bedroom sounds like a nightmare, especially when you can afford more space. Though I will say there are two grad students living next door to me sharing a tiny studio, so it can be done. I don't know much about Brooklyn, but I know people paying the same rent for FAR better... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 11:41 AM on May 30, 2008

As an update to this thread and any future readers, I waited in line at Nintendo World in NYC twice. It seems they have less than 30 each day right now and you should arrive on or before 7:30 a.m. I heard the first people arrive around 6:00. As a data point, I arrived at 7:45 today and there were about 40 or 50 people ahead of me (not everyone was waiting for the Fit, but most were) and did not get one - I was off by about 10-15 people. The store opens at 9:00 and I heard they only have one... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 6:13 AM on May 29, 2008

Washington, DC!
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 10:38 AM on May 22, 2008

Really? I've enjoyed touristing there, but I thought it was supposed to be kinda scary and gross to actually live there.

Oh my gosh, no! DC is like the mecca of 21 - 25-year-olds. For example, I know a 22-year-old who just moved there and is having the time of his life. He has a car, an apartment by himself and Fun Things To Do. Though HotPatatta is right, it does depend on your neighborhood and Northern Virginia is a good option too.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 10:50 AM on May 22, 2008

You would still have to get all that stuff to the port if you flew to your destination.

Are cabs not an option?
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 6:10 AM on May 21, 2008

We stayed in Hotel QT and liked it. The part that we liked probably liked most was the lobby-level pool. After the proposal, dinner and show, we went to the pool and had drinks to celebrate. It was sort of a club scene and a lot of fun to people watch and then be able to retreat to our room. It was near Times Square but not touristy at all and around $300ish/night according to the site.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 6:02 AM on May 20, 2008

I had this. It was a leak on the seal between the windshield and its frame (on the upper part near the rearview mirror). It was not readily apparent on my car either - I only realized it when the water actually pooled one time and then came down from that area onto me and the center console while I was driving.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 2:23 PM on May 19, 2008

You'll be lucky to break 30 while getting your phd. I would estimate somewhere around 24-27? IIRC you won't really be taxed at a normal rate, so your take-home will be higher, though perhaps that has changed. Anyway, plenty of grad students at Columbia are doing it. So are the postdocs there, who are also making less than $50. $50K is pretty much impossible given what you are talking about, so you need to either find a way to live on less, or reconsider your plan. And your wife's salary... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 6:51 AM on May 19, 2008

While this doesn't directly answer your question, it may solve your problem. I have been using Incoco dry nail polish and really like the fact that it lasts forever (nearly twice as long as a salon manicure and probably 3-5 times longer than when I attempt it at home). And my nails look as good or better. My nails look great for about 10 days, though they claim up to 14. And I am pretty rough on them, like you. The polish is flexible, not hard like liquid polish, so I think it adapts better... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 4:42 PM on May 16, 2008

but how can I end it when I know I could just try and live in a not-so-great relationship for a year, rather than ending it and having to live in a house, and share mutual friends.

Because when you're in a bad relationship, a year seems like 20 and the breakup may be even harder because you dragged it out and are living together. Because it could turn into a not-so-great marriage and a divorce. Or because you could break up with her and meet someone... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 5:57 AM on May 16, 2008

1) Where does it go?

I put it in the last (or second to last, can't recall) paragraph of my cover letter. Basically, "In regards to your request for salary history, my compensation at ABC was $XYZ." I also had some line about being willing to negotiable (only for positions where I was afraid I would be passed up). I think this also solves question 2.


Tell them you'll be happy to discuss... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 2:36 PM on May 15, 2008

Another perspective is that since getting engaged, your expectations and the reality haven't really been meshing. The wedding that you decided on isn't happening, the girlfriend that you used to know has been replaced by someone that you find boring, and you aren't sure you're ready to be a dad next year. That in and of itself is enough to warrant some major conversations, and it's a red flag that the only real discussion preceding your decision to get married was some drunken conversations... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 8:28 PM on May 12, 2008

I find it's a lot easier to say, "My budget for ABC is $X" than, "Well, that airfare is more than I want to spend." There's less room for negotiation and it makes it clear that you are taking a cheaper route because you are trying to stay within budget, rather than you are just being cheap.

And as others have said, if you had told her upfront about the tix, she probably wouldn't have gotten as upset. I think you should be upfront from this point... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 11:06 AM on May 12, 2008

Ask around to see if anyone else needs your help. Lots of people have backburner projects (like filing) or small projects, etc that you could tackle.

Read news/blogs related to position in new department.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 10:20 AM on May 12, 2008

Honestly, this sounds over-complicated to me. I was able to stop the courtesy checks by calling my BCCC and asking them to stop sending me checks. Worked like a charm.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 7:19 PM on May 11, 2008

What are you currently reading? Know what you're into would probably generate some relevant blogs for you to read on the weekend.

I read PostSecret, which is published on Sundays, and is sometimes updated Saturday evening instead. I also read I Can Has Cheezburger, which is really embarrassing to admit even though it's good for a laugh. Most of the gossip blogs publish on the weekend, and there's always something going on here or here.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 1:01 PM on May 11, 2008

It's what babies do. The parents are likely freaked out enough by the whole thing and your complaint won't really help matters. You could make a friendly comment about the new baby, to let them know (kindly) that you can hear (i.e. "Congratulations on your new baby, how are things going? I hear the baby sometimes and know that s/he is keeping you guys busy.") You'd have to be really careful with the content and delivery and it's probably not worth it. If... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 12:44 PM on May 2, 2008 marked best answer

In addition to driving sales, they are good for branding and advertising. Though I definitely wouldn't call it "free advertising" like others above me. They paid a pretty penny for that coupon to get in front of you. So even if you don't use the coupon to save $1 off five cans of soup, you still saw my ad for Progresso and possibly read about how tasty/healthy/whatever my soup is.

They're also really great for introducing new products to market because they... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 6:09 AM on May 1, 2008

I think you are incredibly well-intentioned, however $40 is excessive. Especially if you are a student and this is not a "real" job (which is how your post reads). Buying her some nice candy, or making baked goods, is a solid, safe solution. I would guess she'll probably put it out for everyone to enjoy. A book is a also a nice idea. Has she talked about an upcoming trip? If so, you could get her a travel guide for the area. If you are really set on giving her a more... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 6:29 PM on April 30, 2008

Will you be near your colleagues? I have been in the same boat and said, "Sue here can answer that. Sue, Bob was just asking me about the x5000 and its capabilities..." and passed the person off to Sue.

Otherwise, people will be understanding. In fact, they'll probably be impressed that you know as much as you do for only being there a week. Someone has just shot your horse!'s response is appropriate as well.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 4:25 PM on April 29, 2008

How useful would a minor really be? I would derive much more enjoyment taking random classes, but I could still have a good time and do well focusing on a single minor if it were to help me out in the long run. Does anybody in the employment world really look at that stuff? Has having a minor ever helped anyone get ahead?

I had a business minor. It was single-handedly what got me the first five years of my career (seriously!). I realized that I... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 6:28 AM on April 24, 2008

Yes, you should work late. If you don't do what it takes to get it done (even if you can't make the end deadline) it will be apparent and you'll be blamed. If you do your best and don't make the deadline, it won't be nearly as severe since your boss will know you gave it 100%. It's convenient to blame your supervisor but don't - he's the boss and may not take kindly to you telling him how it's all his fault (even if it is and he knows it). Sometimes supervisors seem like jackasses when they... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 6:47 AM on April 10, 2008

Other stuff to consider, but maybe not ask outright in some cases...

How much guidance/mentorship will you receive from your PI? Will it mesh with your work style? Also, this about what you NEED, not just your overall style, so be really honest with yourself. If you are a procrastinator or don't communicate well, it might seem easier to pair up with a PI who is similar, but it will only spell disaster.

If you have to find your own funding,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 2:39 PM on April 9, 2008

From the NIH site in regards to F32 (Ruth L. Kirschstein National Research Service Awards (NRSA) for Individual Postdoctoral Fellows (F32) Section 2, Part 2), which led me to the NIH Grants Policy Statement ("Taxability of Stipends" and "1099")

______________________________________________________________
Taxability of Stipends

Section 117 of the Internal Revenue Code applies to the tax treatment of scholarships... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 2:08 PM on April 9, 2008 marked best answer

mmm pralines, I always request those when people offer up NOLA gifts. Also, shot glasses with the Bourbon street could be popular, depending on your friends. And hot sauce too, or creole seasoning.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 6:33 AM on April 8, 2008

I've ordered office furniture from Cymax that was inexpensive. They have sites based on each brand (Bush, Bestar, etc) but it looks like you can just go to cymax.com. Here are their L-shaped desks, some look fairly modern and quite a few are under $500. I think you'll have to put it together yourself, but based on the stores you've already considered, that's probably not a big deal to you.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ml98tu at 11:04 AM on April 3, 2008 marked best answer