Activity from jessamyn
Displaying comments 1 to 50 of 14172
Long distance introduction
I usually do email introductions (or a group text) with a little bit of some jumping off points for conversations
"Hey Mike this is Dan. Dan used to be in my trivia league before he moved to YOURTOWN. He owns a few guinea pigs and he grows his own hops. Dan this is my friend Mike who I used to do crossfit with when he lived in MYTOWN. He's a voracious reader and very good at helping people move hide-a-bed couches. I think you two would get along so this is an… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:27 AM on September 30, 2016
Please me fix my tabbed browsing technical issues.
Just checking: Are you on a phone or on a computer? What operating system are you using? On Firefox do you Command-click or right click to open a link in a new tab? Because your habits are exactly like mine and this is not a thing. Have you tried disabling the extensions (you may not need them) and seeing if that did the trick?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:43 PM on September 29, 2016
It's Good but I Still Hate It
it still feels like WORK. Waking up at 6 is such a pain.
Hey congrats on the changes! I made a lot of changes in my life along these lines this year--flossing, meditating, better sleep hygiene, eating better--and I feel like this is sort of the obvious next step of this sort of self-improvement stuff. So you meditate and you're probably a little used to the "Hey just observe your feelings, don't feel like you have to DO something about… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:37 AM on September 29, 2016
overthinking a pot of beans
Aquafaba has a website.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:39 AM on September 28, 2016
Need help understanding my self-absorbed mother and what to do about her
Boundaries are great! I have a similar mom who just can't really get outside her own head. She's a truly interesting person and a terrible mom. And she wants credit for being an interesting person while being a terrible mom. Frustrating!
So a few things that were helpful to me
- Giving up on having a mom, just not trying to make her into the sort of mom I may have wanted, that she could never be. Self-talk to myself "Mom has some sort of… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 4:06 PM on September 26, 2016 marked best answer
Help me learn about HBCUs, please!
Open Library has a number of freely available documents about HBCUs which might be fun to browse. Here are a few.
- The announcement and program of Howard University's semi-centennial in 1917.
- Howard University Record from 1910
- Elizabeth City State University yearbook 1993-1994
- this book, The Educator (1906), "looks at 13 "educational districts" within the African Methodist Episcopal Church's Dept. of Education,… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 12:09 PM on September 26, 2016
And for something that might be an interesting perspective Howard Zinn was a white Russian Jewish man who taught at Spellman College for a while and got fired because the president felt he was trying to radicalize the students there. It's interesting reading some of his views on working at HBCUs. Here's one article.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 12:12 PM on September 26, 2016
What companies provide great/useful customer service via Twitter?
- GreenMountainPower in VT has an amusing and informative tweet stream when things are good and they are GREAT with notifications when there's an outage, major or minor.
- I actually got a problem solved with the MA RMV over twitter, no lie. It still amazes me.
- Medium Support is useful for giving and getting feedback though usually what they say is "We're not adding that feature" likewise tinyletter.
- I found Apple Support not terribly useful.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:47 AM on September 26, 2016
What are your favorite transcendent, gives you the chills, performances?
Before (52 years before) there was Baumgartner there was Kittenger and I like this remix of his jump with Boards of Canada music.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:37 PM on September 24, 2016
Teach me to speak Masshole
A lot of the interrupting isn't so much talking over someone as it is talking under or alongside them.
This is a good way to look at it. As a lifelong New Englander (who really found the West Coast difficult to deal with) there's some sort of unspoken assumption that the goal is CONSTANTTALKING and so you can think of it like a relay race where you run up alongside someone and then you sort of get the baton from them and then you are the one with it… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:42 PM on September 24, 2016 marked best answer
How do I resolve conflicting holiday goals?
I last had a party for my 30th birthday, didn't invite my mother since everybody else there were my ~30 year old beer drinkin' buddies; she was hurt by the omission and told me so later and I’ve felt guilty for that. So, in the spur of the moment, I said she could come to the second city.
Wow I am sorry about this whole thing but just wanted to add
- Mom wanting to come to your all-younger-people party is a little odd (but… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 4:14 PM on September 24, 2016
Please help us have a great family vacation!
Can not speak highly enough about the Desert Botanical Garden. If you guys are at all musically inclined, the Musical Instrument Museum in Phoenix really is worth the price of admission. Also the public library is nice and fun and there are kid-friendly spots there.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 4:04 PM on September 24, 2016
What is the difference between "loner" and "keeps himself to himself"?
It's like a semi-unfunny joke in the US that when someone goes on a shooting rampage people will say "He was a loner, kept to himself mostly" Loners in the US are often people who are alone by choice and sort of don't like being with other people for various reasons. A person who "keeps to himselfherself" is often just someone with a small set of social contacts, doesn't socialize but isn't necessarily averse to human connection. Like a loner at an office job sort of wouldn't… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 4:01 PM on September 24, 2016
How can an introvert psych herself up to do something social?
I realize that not wanting to go is making the event all about me. What will *I* get out of it? What am *I* concerned about? How will this affect *me*? And in reality, my presence actually has the possibility to make the vent ... different (i like to hope better but who knows) for other people and that's how I can sort of cajole myself into t. So like hey maybe there's another librarian there who knows even fewer people than me and we can pal around and I can introduce her to people. Or maybe… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 3:58 PM on September 24, 2016 marked best answer
Should I give in on spending money on an expensive luxury?
This isn't about a particular piece of artwork, it's about her frustrated rebellion against the persistent stifling restraint imposed by your anxiety. You aren't collaborating or compromising over financial decisions. Instead you're always standing on the brake pedal while she leans on the accelerator, so of course you lurch around sloppily and barely even notice the omnipresent burning smell anymore. Breaking this pattern is exponentially more important than this specific decision.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:31 AM on September 23, 2016
The thing I don't hear mentioned in your assessment of your finances is debt. Because sometimes reallocating debt and the way you manage it can free up some cash in a psychic way. And if you don't have debt other than a mortgage, I'd also consider that part of your stability assessment. If, like many frugal people, you aren't carrying a lot of debt, I would also add this to the "We are actually quite stable not just treading water" column. But if you have credit card debt, for example,… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:09 AM on September 23, 2016
I take measurements, you mail me clothes
Qcut does this for jeans.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:55 PM on September 22, 2016
What dongle/cable do I need to make this recording thing work?
Oh sorry maybe I wasn't clear, these are cassettes with music on them already, not music that I am creating. So there's no mixing, just transferring what is there from analog to digital. When I monitor these cassettes in Audacity, it just shows a single track input coming in.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:55 AM on September 22, 2016
I definitely checked with Audacity, checked the stereo settings etc. So, if I do some sort of audio-to-USB, I'll need an analog-to-digital converter?
I did check to see if my old MacBook Pro could do this but even though the combo jack seems to work fine with the microphone on my earbuds, it won't work with the line in on my stereo (which works fine on my iMac albeit in only one channel). So it looks like one of those converters is the way to go. I appreciate people… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:24 PM on September 22, 2016
sex ed, over 40 edition
Super normal and agree with other commenters, there are a number of things that can go into whether someone is getting an erection both physical and mental, that don't have anything to do with being turned on. It's also pretty mitigatable with medical and non-medical interventions if it's something you decide between the two of you that you'd like to do something about.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:52 AM on September 22, 2016
My trainer is rude. Now what?
It's possible he's just not someone who texts well for work/scheduling purposes. If I'm reading you right, you texted twice and had one in-person interaction which felt off? I'm not clear if he's ignoring you or bad at texting but either way it doesn't really matter if the way you work doesn't work with the way he works, it doesn't work. So get a new trainer because of "scheduling issues" and don't worry about it. Training is a service business and your script if you run into the old… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:44 AM on September 22, 2016
Another grieving process question
This happened to me after my father died suddenly. I had a somewhat complicated relationship with my father and my mother (who has her own issues) was in a really weird place in the world as basically the "Ex wife from 30 years ago" and had a hard time figuring out where to put her grief and I got a lot of strange acting-out from her. And for me, I grieve exceptionally privately so didn't want to deal with her at all. So the line I kept repeating was "Mom, I love you but I can't… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:39 AM on September 22, 2016
In What Scenarios Are Pregnancy Test Mandatory?
Accutane. When my sister took it she not only had to have a pregnancy test but they sent her home with pictures of what a deformed baby would look like (just little shadow outlines) if she did get pregnant. So weird!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:38 AM on September 21, 2016
did you mean, like, a scientist going to a research station?
Women who work there and are going to winter over--when there are limited abilities to get you out of there if there are issues--are the ones who have to deal with this, I think.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:11 PM on September 21, 2016
Getting to Vieques: Is it a hassle? Would we be missing out?
Vieques is great, my partner's family used to live there. That said, it's not a place I'd want to try to squeeze in to a PR trip. The ferry is fine but if you can't get from a flight to the ferry you have to do a bunch of machinations. Biobay is great but I'm not sure it would be worth the hassle and hustle of doing that. Agree with others Vieques is very much a lazy hangout go-to-beach place. Which is great! But other than that, there's not much else going on. I'd give it a pass this time and… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:41 AM on September 21, 2016
MIL is sick and won't let FIL leave her side
That is hard, watching other people make choices that seem to sort of stick them in places where they aren't happy. Especially since you'd like to be supportive of your FiL but especially your husband. But I would maybe work on your framing so that you can find space to just sort of live with this situation and not feel quite so much that it needs fixing. I agree, it's frustrating and terrible and I would have a hard time too, but assuming people are grown adults, they are making choices. So,… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:03 PM on September 20, 2016 marked best answer
Fold away workspace. Does something like this exist?
In the olden days this would have been a lap desk, places for your pen and ink and paper and important nonsense. Nowadays the things called lap desks are more likely to be laptop shelf type things but some people still make them. Here is an example. There are also murphy-bed type fold-out desks which I have always sort of liked. I think the googleable term is wall-mounted desk.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 3:39 PM on September 20, 2016
How did you (YES, YOU SPECIFICALLY) pay for grad school?
I went full-time-ish to an in-state library school which had very low tuition for residents. I didn't even look at other schools. I had a part-time job at the school library system while I went and paid for it with the job $$ and savings. I lived in a cheap apartment with my then-spouse who was delivering pizza with his PhD from the same university. We got food stamps. I piled on the credits and wound up taking a year off in-between the two years of the program when my ex got a job teaching in a… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:39 AM on September 20, 2016
Advice Wanted for Move to Des Moines, Iowa
They have a world-class library in Des Moines and Iowa generally has a really good library system all the way to the state level.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 2:34 PM on September 19, 2016
I have been a visitor to both Dubuque and Des Moines and my take was that Dubuque has a small center of revitalization going on but you get outside Dubuque (and you get outside fast) and it's rural and conservative. Which seems to work there! But for what it's worth that was not the feeling I got from Des Moines. It seemed friendlier to me (and outsider, in town for a few days for a conference) and definitely felt like it skewed somewhat younger and more open. I felt like, for example, that I… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 3:35 PM on September 19, 2016
CPB Funding for Public Broadcasting
could a hard-liner could argue that if public broadcasting is going to get federal money, public broadcasting should not report on any topic concerning an agency from which it receives no funding, i.e. Defense, Interior, Justice, Commerce etc. because these aren't exclusively "art" or "education" topics as spelled out in the Public Broadcasting Act of 1967?
I'm not sure where you are getting that narrow read on art and education?… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 3:06 PM on September 19, 2016
Athlete's foot - when is it time to see a doctor?
For me, when treatment is working you basically get NO new outbreaks and things heal up within a week or two. On my feet peeling is sort of the last stage and can last longer but if it's not accompanied by itching/redness/swelling I presume it's part of the healing stage and not the infection stage.
The big thing, as people have said, is avoiding reinfection. I changed socks a few times a day whenever my feet would get sweaty and I tossed out old shoes that I didn't seem… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:44 AM on September 19, 2016
My Colds Are Worse Than Your Colds
My doc said don't use neti pots on days when I can't get anything through my nostrils. If it's not draining, don't use them. He also suggests Real Sudafed and I've seen people suggest mixing a spray of Afrin into the neti pot the first time out but I am nervous about that and don't do it.
Have you tried stuff that is supposed to get your mucus flowing like mucinex? I also suggest imaging. I would get bad infections and got a one-sided turbinate reduction and have had no… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:02 PM on September 18, 2016
When the words “stupid” & “slow” are thrown at you...
I also remind myself that I earned a bachelor’s degree with a 3.6 GPA while working 25-40 hours a week.
Objectively non-stupid! I am very sensitive to comments about my intelligence, probably because to one of my parents, intelligence was literally the ONLY metric worth worrying about and I had a lot of gifted child problems and am an anxious adult. That said, I'm smart enough to do the things I want to do AND I'm a kinder and friendlier person than… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:55 AM on September 18, 2016
I also found it was helpful to "own" the ways in which I was, actually, not that skillful. So for example I'll go to someone's house and if they have the radio on loud, I can't actually maintain a conversation. Brains are weird, this is how mine works. So I'll ask for what I need ("Hey can we turn the radio down a little?") and explain why without apologies or judgments ("I can't hold a conversation with the radio at this level") and most of the time things go just… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:03 AM on September 18, 2016
What can I do and can't I do about climate change?
Limit the size of your family, or adopt.
This is huge for two main reasons
1. obviously fewer people consume fewer resources, but also
2. having children makes people a lot more inwardly-focused (for decent reasons) and so they are more likely to worry about the family first and the planet second.
I know a lot of people who were recyclers, vegetarians, low-on-food-chain people who changed… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:14 AM on September 18, 2016
Blender required for Dutch Baby recipe?
Making on offer on an overpriced (multi-unit) property?
Accepting flaws in long-term relationships
My question for you is: does your partner see this as a flaw, something to work on? It's totally fine to not be 100% on board with the way your partner reacts with others, but you should at least be able to support your partner generally speaking and if you see her being aggressive or harsh do you talk with her? What's her response? And what is your concern?
A lot of us have shit that happened to us when we were younger that maybe sucked. Some of our emotions may not be… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 3:51 PM on September 17, 2016
What could this compass graph represent?
Those are fare zones or sort of like them.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:19 AM on September 17, 2016
The folks in this discussion forum seem to think it's a wind chart that was placed there for basically no reason. They link to the original image.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:26 AM on September 17, 2016
Online games for the mildly demented snob
Interesting TV shows (or movies) with kind, loving characters
I like these shows too and have enjoyed Parks & Rec and also Brooklyn 99 for this sort of thing. I've been plowing through multiple seasons (on Netflix) of Murdoch Mysteries. It's a turn of the last century detective show set in Toronto so it's got the Canadian goodness going for it (i.e. it's not rapey or super violent most of the time) and the main guy is a tinkering nerd who is also a little loveably clueless. There are cameos by a lot of famous-at-the-time people including Arthur Conan… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:38 AM on September 16, 2016
Lots of press, very few sales. How do I promote my book to real readers?
I'm not sure what you want out of this. It sounds like you want sales (for some reason) but also are shruggo about sales for money reasons. So what's the end goal here?
- name recognition?
- option to write more books?
- a better job?
- media mentions?
- more speaking gigs?
Maybe the company can go through the accounting hassle of selling YOU copies of the book at 40% off (i.e.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:30 AM on September 16, 2016
Nana had a tetradrachm
The big center coin is Turkish, that calligraphic script is the sultan's signature (my ex-husband has that tattooed on his shoulder). If you can match up the signature you can tell a little more about the coin. Looks like the top one on this page to me.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:04 PM on September 15, 2016 marked best answer
Bearded king coin is from Parthia I think. Look in the upper right on this page.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:12 PM on September 15, 2016 marked best answer
Continuing with the Persian theme, the middle right pedestal one is Sasanian I think. Check the second one down on this page.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:22 PM on September 15, 2016 marked best answer
Make making envelopes easier
I have done this and made a photo tutorial. As long as it's within first class mail sizes (and proportions, they are fussy about that) you have a lot of leeway. Some of the first envelopes I made were form a moon atlas! As far as sealer, you can get double sided sticky tape and just unpeel and stick one half, is there a reason that won't work? I use the stuff that comes in those window-sealing packets because I have a lot of it.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:48 PM on September 15, 2016 marked best answer
How to help a senior who can't find a job
Jenna could maybe use some mental health care in addition to concrete food and shelter sorts of stuff. Her stickiness on the bad past job stuff as well as her inability to consider viable options should be seen as a bit of a red flag that there may be something else going on. So a few things
- food stamps STAT. If she qualifies, this is fast and will really help
- senior center lunches? look into what is in her area, this is socialization time as well as… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:17 PM on September 15, 2016