Activity from jessamyn
Displaying comments 1 to 50 of 12754
I'm good at certain things. What cool stuff can I do with these skills?
Shamehole Management which is what I sort of do "for fun" with friends who are in over their heads with big houses and too much stuff. I go over and help them take a roomful of stuff and turn it into junk, plastic boxes of stuff and things to use/sell/admire. It's super fun. There are also more formal professional organizers and also people who just help people do estate sales and/or clean out hoarder houses. Some of this depends not on your skills as much as your personality when... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:21 PM on December 26, 2014
How do I treat a toilet that won't be used for months?
Marine anti-freeze is really if you want to keep pipes from freezing. I deal with this a few times a year (vacation house I deal with that has ... seven toilets ... and is empty for months at a time) and here is what I heave learned.
- clean it well after the last person has left
- keep lids down to keep mice and other critters out
- no bleach, bleach eats seals
- might as well turn the water off just in case there's a slow leak if you... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:45 PM on December 25, 2014
Struggling with a needy mother
I have recently had a discussion with her telling her how I feel (as I have tried in the past) but she got very upset and cried and nothing really changes.
This is not normal. It's okay for you to decide what normal is, for you, and then just do that and let your mom manage her own emotions surrounding this. I am sorry, it's a pain in the neck when you have parents who act like you are their parent. That said, I have had some... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:36 AM on December 22, 2014
What's the opposite of "over your head"?
"Would you mind running through some preliminary questions with me, just to make sure we've covered all the bases. I presume you've done these but we need to be certain"
I usually don't apologize but just let people know that we're working on this together and that troubleshooting is a process that is scaffolded and so we have to get the foundation in place, even if it's a little rudimentary. And then tell people "thanks for bearing with this"
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:42 AM on December 22, 2014
Desserts for the unmotivated
Angel food or pound cake sliced up and toasted with berries and a nice chocolate ganache over the top and home made whipped cream. Mostly just assemblage but you can set it up on little plates and it will look/taste wonderful with not that much effort. Maybe some nifty sprinkles or something.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:09 AM on December 21, 2014 marked best answer
Pro tips for setting up iPad for elderly mom
If she's a reader consider getting her a book to go along with it. Missing Manuals are good and they have one for iOS8. Check to see if her local library has ipad classes or what books they have, that might also be helpful. Maybe set her up with an Overdrive Media Console account if she wants to borrow books from the library (and set it up for her, the setup sucks but the process works well once it's set up). The great thing about ebooks is you can make the font super big and if she's reading... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:30 AM on December 20, 2014 marked best answer
Scrabble Peeve Filter
EE is allowable in the SOWPODS dictionary. In the version that I use (and there are many dictionaries) you can spell all the letters of the alphabet. So you can also play EF EL and ES also. Stefan Fatsis talks about the word lists a little bit here.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:38 PM on December 19, 2014 marked best answer
How to handle a toothache for four days?
Putting something on the outside of the tooth so that the nerve isn't exposed can really help. They sell some sort of silly-putty like stuff in the drugstore or wax will sometimes work. Take opiates for sleep. You might be able to get some actual medicine that will work on nerve pain from the campus clinic.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:59 PM on December 19, 2014
Seeking Late 19th Century Weather Data for Far NorCal
Just a "where to begin" option. The California Digital Newspaper collection contains newspapers from those dates, but the closest they get is Sacramento which is probably not close enough, but maybe it is? You can browse a little and find mentions of Redding from May 1892 but this may be too much work depending on what you are dealing with. Same for Woodland.
What you really want, for the late 1800s is the Monthly Weather Review from the American Meteorological... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:57 AM on December 19, 2014
Online psychological resources for sexual issues
What has your experience been trying things that work on your general anxiety level (you can reply via a mod)? I assume you've tried, but I will suggest anyhow
- sex in the morning before you're totally awake
- weed/drink/benzos to take the edge off (not too much, will have opposite effect)
- exercise to lower stress levels
- porn, toys or other outside stimuli
This is definitely a thing that happens to women a... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:35 AM on December 19, 2014
How long do you keep trying, with kids in the mix?
I was *absolutely* relieved that my parents weren't fighting anymore. I never for a minute thought they "didn't want to stay with me," because nobody ever actually vanished from my life.
Likewise. You send messages to your children if you stay together in a bad relationship "for them" about what is important and what you should expect out of life.
I'd try a different counselor and basically have the topic... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:16 AM on December 19, 2014
Hand controls for aging drivers?
This is a thing that works and there is a process for getting the right ones installed and getting your relative trained up on them. Are you in the US? AAA suggests getting an eval by an occupational therapy-driver rehabilitation specialist. This website has a lot more information about what they do and links to a lot of resources. Hand controls can allow people with no feeling/movement in their legs at all to drive cars and this is certainly an option for your relative.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:02 AM on December 18, 2014 marked best answer
Stories, passages, essays, and books to read aloud to lovers
Barthelme is my go-to for this stuff (Amateurs is the best short collection) but there are also some great short (like very short) stories from Brautigan's Revenge of the Lawn that can work for this. I had a friend who always swore In Watermelon Sugar was perfect but I think it may be too poetry-like for you.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:56 PM on December 17, 2014
Dreaming of a clear Christmas - get the yellow off my icicles
How to respect boundaries between friend and SO.
In fact, A now hates B and never wants to meet her. A is so hurt by my backing out of this trip (and all the cutting back in the friendship we've had to do) that she wants to end our friendship if the trip doesn't happen.
On the one hand, this is a painful thing that sometimes happens and that's too bad because people are hurting. On the other hand: don't negotiate with terrorists. A should be making the bulk of the "sacrifices" because... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 3:23 PM on December 16, 2014
How does Google Books decide which books are open access?
I wonder this too. I think in some cases they have records from their publishing partners but don't actually have scanned versions of the titles. I notice it a lot when they have a bunch of items in a series and some are scanned. I'll poke around because I've seen stuff that is definitely public domain, US stuff and it's still not available and I've wondered why.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:10 PM on December 15, 2014
Ethics of downloading ebooks
I could also keep checking out the books and would then just download a digital copy when I got home and return the hardcopy the next day.
Between you, me, and the internet, this is what I sometimes do. I am a librarian. Ebook lending is a mess. Most of the books I actually purchase to read are on the second hand market. There is not a secondhand market for ebooks (for the most part). Your library can use the business, your patronage there really... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:29 PM on December 14, 2014 marked best answer
Yes, you have to eat with strangers.
I've been to a few at a few different types of places in North America.
1. the trendy charcuterie place that was open for lunch. They had a few small tables and one big one in the middle. You ordered at a counter and brought your food to a big table in the middle where you ate with everyone. People mostly hung out with the people they came with but were friendly to other places. It was done because it was small not really a social thing.
2. the... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:29 PM on December 14, 2014
My sister constantly asks me if I'm okay
I'm an "Is everything okay?" person, though hopefully the people I do it too aren't annoyed by it. I can see how it would be frustrating. I think for me there's an immediacy aspect to text and for people who don't normally text me to say something that sounds like something might be wrong, I keep feeling like I'm supposed to be picking up on some "There is a problem and I'd like you to ask about it" thing that they are downplaying. And I'm sort of clueless, so I ask. So in... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:49 PM on December 12, 2014
How do I banish these bitter feelings?
I'm sorry you are feeling punky about this that totally sucks and it's too bad your friend can't be at your wedding. I think over time you'll get more of a handle on this and will be able to split out what's the bad feeling slopping irrationally over other stuff. Some people, many people, are superstitious about miscarriages. If I were in a position where I was pregnant and had a recent miscarriage, the thought in my head would be "I really want this baby. I am concerned about this... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:17 AM on December 12, 2014 marked best answer
How do I mindfulness?
I was taught to meditate in a Hopkins study on meditation and psilocybin.
Recreational drugs were helpful to me as far as really understanding mindfulness. When I'd take drugs I realized I felt JUST LIKE ME only with less anxiety. And it helped see the anxiety as a thing that maybe wasn't just a baked-in part of me.
What I use mindfulness for specifically is to dissociate my feelings about things from my actions that result... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:27 AM on December 12, 2014
What is this blue plastic thing?
I wrote to their facebook page and they wrote me back "What we have been calling those are re-usable twist ties. Think of a bread bag - you would put the bag in the slot and tighten the wheel to secure. Lots of people have had this question!"
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:35 PM on December 11, 2014 marked best answer
Who died and left me hall monitor? Oh, wait...
Use a scheduler like Hootsuite.
Totally. I have a personal Twitter and I run a few (small) association accounts. I use Tweetdeck which lets me schedule tweets and post and/or follow-up from my own account or the ones of the associations. I specifically limit cross-traffic between the accounts most of the time (i.e. if something is a BIG DEAL I might post it from my account and the organization's account but very very rarely)... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:25 AM on December 11, 2014
Reasons that crazy is problematic.
Seems like you handled that just fine and sorry you were scolded, that sounds like it was inappropriate given the context that you are in a hospital for a stressful reason. If it were me I think I would have done the same thing which is say sorry and move on but also would probably drop a friendly note to their supervisor about it since tag-team scolding for any reason is not a professional response to the situation you described.
Barely related: my sister has epilepsy... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 12:28 PM on December 10, 2014
Coping with uncertainty after asking alcoholic husband to move out
I think you should be honest with your friends but according to how well you know them.
I'd agree with this. I am sorry for this, other people's alcohol problems are terrible to deal with and tend to ramp up during the time of the year when it's most awful. This is, however, not a coincidence, it's just how people's (bad) coping mechanisms work.
I hear you about having trouble with Step 1 and I applaud your ability to set... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 5:30 PM on December 9, 2014
I would like to be invited back next year...
Do you know enough about their feeder setup? I recently was gifted a peanut feeder (there are many options) which is basically squirrel-impervious and really brought the woodpeckers to the yard in a way I hadn't been expecting. Maybe a subscription to Birds and Blooms which talks about the overlap with gardening and birding? Or Living Bird Magazine if they're more conservation minded and/or if Cornell means something to them.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 2:06 PM on December 9, 2014
Room-Temperature Winter/Autumn Potluck Dish
I have a go-to recipe that I like a lot and is dead simple and can be reheated in a small microwave.
Take a butternut squash and cut into 1" cubes, reserve seeds
Sprinkle with maple syrup, garam masala and olive oil. Stir, put into a baking pan
Bake in a 400 degree oven for about an hour.
If you want to mix it up, add sweet potato chunks with slightly different seasoning (nutmeg?)
Put in festive bowl, garnish with... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:58 PM on December 9, 2014
This shivering is bullshit.
This exact thing happened to me. I moved away to someplace warmer, gained some weight, came back, lost the weight and suddenly was like WTF SHIT HUMANS SHOULDN'T LIVE HERE.
So what was helpful for me was a lot of the stuff people have explained above, but specifically
- keeping feet not just warm but DRY. This means if you are inside, make sure you have dry socks on at all times. Wool is good, cotton can be fine indoors if you swap it out if your... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:33 AM on December 9, 2014
Should I call out my friend for racially insensitive Facebook posts?
But am I being too sensitive? Should I just let it go?
I'd say no and no, but this is a thing I think people disagree on tactically, what to do.
I have some lovely friends in town who are also Republicans and sometimes they repeat Republican talking points that they may not have considered closely. I usually try to engage them in a "You know that sounds sort of racist/sexist..." way about it. That said, I'm not... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:27 PM on December 8, 2014
How can I proactively prevent anxiety from limiting me in life?
stay away from Benzodiazepines
Different people respond differently to different medications. For some people benzos are literally a life saver. They can be habit-forming and have some other issues but don't discard anything out of hand without talking to a medical professional. People respond differently to different stuff. Benzos worked very well for me. The thing no one tells you about anti-anxiety meds is that you will be afraid to take them, and... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:06 AM on December 8, 2014
Bean soups are, generally speaking, fairly boring.
Spicy red pepper lentil soup is my preferred winter soup. Decent protein, low calorie. Good with crusty bread.
6 cups stock [or whatever, soup base, not too salty, veggie totally OK]
1 red pepper
chop veggies & sautee in olive oil & add to hot stock
1 1/2 c red lentils
1/2 c wild rice
[or whatever, 2 cups... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:53 AM on December 8, 2014
Big Bandwidth in the Big Apple
You might want to see what the bandwidth limitations are at SIBL. If I recall correctly they have ethernet and wireless access there which might mean upload speeds are a little more reasonable. It caters to the "business" user so I'd at least check, it's in a pretty convenient location.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:46 PM on December 7, 2014
More like Insomnia, please!
You might like the BBC series Wallander which has Kenneth Branagh as the cop-with-problems who is trying to solve crimes as he increasingly has trouble sleeping and his life falls apart. Takes place in Sweden, in English. There is the original Swedish series but i haven't seen it.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:47 AM on December 6, 2014
I keep waking up too early. Is this pathological?
This is a signal of anxiety for me.
Me too and it used to plague me. I do a few things.
- benadryl or something that keeps me a little sleepier
- exercise the day before, same thing
- try to not have a bunch of morning things to do stressing me out (may not be available for everyone but this changed my life)
- make sure I've had enough to eat the night before
- if I DO wake up... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:06 AM on December 6, 2014
Tell me more about palliative care
I am sorry this is stressful for you, it's a difficult time. My understanding, mostly as someone who has had relatives go through this, is that they are literally only treating the pain and the treatment for the pain is not focused on eventual recovery but just making the person as comfortable as possible. Which means that even if it's, say, more morphine than would normally be allowed because of some potential long term implications, they're no longer worried about the long range effects. This... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:52 AM on December 4, 2014
How do I deal with car registration?
It seems like, based on this page, that the 60 day thing is real. That said, I agree with you, that strikes me as super weird and I would want this confirmed by someone who was actually an authority. I'd contact the Kansas DMV (or try emailing firstname.lastname@example.org stranger things have happened) and ask them this specifically. Alternately your insurance company should be able to tell you what you'd need to do in order to be legally insured/insurable.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 12:43 PM on December 3, 2014
Adapting for profit my own work, portions of which I released under CC
My not-a-lawyer understanding is that the license you put in place is for other people, you are still free to
1. do whatever you want with your own content that you own the rights to
2. change the license of the thing you own the rights to within the agreements that you already made
So to non-lawyer me, what this means is that you can write your book but that anything that is basically the same as the stuff on the website can still be... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:47 PM on December 2, 2014
No/Low Starch Diet - Food "Substitutes" and Brands? (and how to start?)
I am here to rep for spaghetti squash though some of the other squashes definitely are considered starchy. I make a lasagna with it that has actually become my preferred lasagna because you don't have to take a nap after it. Unfortunately since it's lasagna it gets a lot of its savoriness from cheese, so you might want to add this in when you are adding in a little bit of dairy. But basically it's like this
- cook up a spaghetti squash in the oven (can cut in half and... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:35 PM on December 2, 2014
History books of the Pac NW
This is a small book but Sento at Sixth and Main (referencing the bath house at the Panama Hotel which was the center of Japanese life in Seattle prior to WWII) is a beautiful history of Japanese Americans in Seattle. More of an art project (though non-fiction) than just a published history. I've also read Skid Road, it's very good. Utopias on Puget Sound, 1885-1915 is another personal favorite.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:10 PM on December 2, 2014
Q-tips, help me quit you
isn't clear fluid drainage from the ear (with or without bloody hues) usually indicative of a rupturing eardrum?
I had ear infections for a few solid years when I was a kid before I got tubes put in and generally speaking you will know if you have an ear infection like that because it hurts like the bejesus. Like "can't sleep head is falling off" level pain until the eardrum ruptures. You could have an "outer ear infection" which... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:46 PM on December 2, 2014
Original Comic Book Sketches, where are you?
I have a friend who has done work for Marvel and DC and he and the people in his studio sell their original art through an Etsy shop. You can poke through his original art here or check out the whole studio's stuff.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:16 PM on December 1, 2014 marked best answer
Help me quantify extra hours, please, please, a please please.
My feeling (as someone who has been in this situation before as a salaried part-timer) is that an equitable way to do this, if you can count emails, is allot each email a certain amount of time and assume that some take more and some take less. Part of it does depend on the type of email you need to deal with. Is it just one email here and there to get back to someone in a timely fashion or is it sort of "clean out the inbox" type of work?
My kind was the... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:10 PM on December 1, 2014 marked best answer
Not at fault - make a claim?
This is exactly why you have insurance, yes. It's tough because you want to be "polite" when someone is asking you to do them a favor, but realistically, this is something that your insurance should be handling. There is also a small chance that saying "I'm going to file a claim" may turn this person from being friendly to being not-friendly (they may have points on their license or other reasons why an insurance claim would be a real problem for them) and it's still fine to... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:33 AM on November 30, 2014 marked best answer
Please help me have a (relatively) stress-free Christmas
My approach to this sort of thing is to have gradually increasing circles of responsibility. So you and your husband are TEAM US and you should both work together to make sure the two of you are happy and doing okay and work together to make that happen. Be there for each other so if your husband is getting "poked" by a crappy relative, your job is to swoop in and deflect, etc. Also, if you are worried that your husband will "go nuts" about something, it's also worth talking... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:18 AM on November 30, 2014
Plugged Ears! Aural Fullness advice if you please!
Audiologists are mostly concerned with testing your hearing. See if you can go to an ENT or an otolaryngologist (ear nose and throat doc) to have them take a look at the rest of you. I get this from time to time (the stuffed up ear feeling along with tinnitus, sometimes together and sometimes separately) and Sudafed often helps a lot. How long have you had this?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:00 PM on November 29, 2014
Sources for historic photo art
Calisphere is a project by the California Digital Library and you can search by timeframe. You might also check the National Archives photography section. That page also links to a lot of other resources including this set of images at the University of Washington.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:52 PM on November 29, 2014 marked best answer
Buying duplicates/multiples - when is it a good idea and when isn't it?
There are optimizers (Must get the best deal even if it's a lot of work) and satisficers (must meet minimum criteria for $ITEM and then done) in the world of shopping. You seem like you might have a touch of both which can be difficult. For me the big deal is comparing the item against the likelihood of finding that item again. So when I found jeans that fit? I freaked out and bought three paid because jeans never fit me. However finding shoes that fit? Not so tough and I'm more interested in... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 5:44 PM on November 29, 2014
Where to place the burden of degree verification.
Because it costs them money if they have to do it and it's free to have you do it.
Employers get something out of getting this verification in a CYA type of move, it's partly their job to make sure you are who you say you are, so they do the work. In the college setting, you're really the one who wants something (higher education) and so you are the one who needs to do the work.
There are some big middleman companies that will do this sort of... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:09 AM on November 29, 2014
Car Maintenance for Womenfolk
There are a few parts to this. I am a woman who feels decently capable with my car. Though to be fair part of that is deciding what stuff is stuff I want to do and what isn't. So, for example, I do know how to change my oil but I am okay paying someone to do this for me. I grew up with a dad who was good with cars but he basically didn't impart this information on to me so my plan for cars growing up was "Ask dad" which wasn't really good for my own independence with things. So here... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:06 AM on November 29, 2014 marked best answer