Activity from jessamyn

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Spending a significant chunk of savings... to chase a dream.
I've researched this a ridiculous amount, and although it sounds insane, it'll be fine.

I drove x-country in a Geo Metro with a friend and two cats. If you've researched you know the pitfalls and I'm here to also say: yes it will be fine. Check the work end of the situation first and foremost because that will be the big variable that will matter. But yes, travel is fun, gasoline is cheaper than it's been in a long time and please stop by if you come through Vermont.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 2:03 PM on July 28, 2016

I just want to send you your stuff. Why is this so hard?
Another way you could make it easier is just a one-item store if you have any web skills at all and take "payment" via PayPal. I made this page (note: nothing there actually for sale now) using an HTML form and googling some PayPal info to sell some t-shirts and people could pay via PayPal and then use their existing address iirc. Simpler: sell them on eBay for 50 cents (the price of postage) and then people can use their existing addresses as well. Basically I think the Reddit… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:58 PM on July 28, 2016

A man, a girlfriend, and an ex (or two): now what?
It is very weird that they haven't seen each other in three years and are planning a sleepover weekend as the reunion. This isn't a "can boyfriends visit exes?" question, the specifics make it very strange.

Yeah, my feelings are

- it's totally fine for exes to hang out together, and I sleep over at the house of my exes sometimes and my guy does too.
- BUT there's often some weird adjustment period at… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:34 AM on July 28, 2016

What's making this creepy noise?
Seconding young owl, they are so damned creepy sounding. The second call in the fledgling begging call on this page sounds like what you heard.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 5:03 PM on July 27, 2016 marked best answer

There's a rat in the kitchen, what am I going to do
If you don't see droppings or other signs (chew marks on food containers), you generally don't have a rodent problem.

Exactly. I have always lived in houses with mice, it's just a fact of country living most of the time. The deal I try to keep with the mice is that they stay in the walls and mostly out of the house and I will not murder their babies. We are at a detente most of the time but occasionally I'll find a small nest or droppings. A few… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:35 AM on July 27, 2016 marked best answer
When I had rats, they came in through a hole in the wall behind the stove that was pretty obvious once I found it. The good news is that if you have a small space there is probably a pretty obvious place they are coming in but it may be obscured with furniture/appliances/cabinets. I'd check the back of cabinets, particularly ones under sinks or around pipes coming into the house (heat, hot water, regular water, laundry facilities) and jam as much steel wool in there are you can. I used steel… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:34 AM on July 27, 2016 marked best answer

OK, I Give Up
Here's an IO9 article about a similar balancing performance.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:42 PM on July 26, 2016
And here's an artist who does a lot of these kinds of illusions.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:43 PM on July 26, 2016
The "bike" is a sculpture with a fake front wheel which is anchored by means of a pole that goes into the ground as sammyo surmised. That's just conformation that yes there really is a hole there.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:41 AM on July 27, 2016

Easy Lunch Ideas for Nut-Free Preschool?
Wraps! Some sort of tortilla, some sort of meat, some sort of spread, some sort of cheese. Side of fruit or finger veg. Wraps cut into little circles are fun looking (that recipe is fussy but there are a lot of options).

meats
ham
turkey
roast beef
bologna
pepperoni

cheeses
swiss
cheddar
american
mozarella

spreads
cream cheese
hummus
tahini
ranch dressing
mustard
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:49 AM on July 27, 2016

What are the implications of being on unemployment and Patreon?
Totally varies by state but when I was in Vermont and making some money on the side when I was looking for work it went exactly like COD describes. I didn't even get into where the money came from just "I made $90 working this week" when I filled out my stuff but also indicated that i was available for full time work. The $600 limit is for you when you pay your taxes. You'll need to report that money (so keep track of it) and pay taxes on it (I assume 25% as a rule of thumb which… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:40 AM on July 27, 2016

Can I have all my slack teams in one window?
I use the desktop app and I can switch with key commands between my many teams with my different logins. The user experience is almost identical to the in-browser experience. You do have to toggle between all the channels though, but they exist within one window.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:36 AM on July 27, 2016

Subtle racist comments
I feel like I have to watch what I say, especially since these days people tend to overreact and cry out racism all the time.

You only have to watch what you say if you care what people think about what you say (or maybe you have a job where you can't be racist?). Free speech doesn't mean freedom from consequences, etc.

making absolute statements and referring to an entire population is racist.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:07 PM on July 26, 2016


Staying-over etiquette in new relationship?
I'm the host in this situation because my long-distance long term partner has a home situation that's not conducive to sleepovers. He comes over here a lot and it works for both of us. I always appreciate it when he brings something with him even though I have most stuff here. Similarly I don't at all mind if he does his laundry here but I like it when he asks. The one thing I try to do to balance this is spend time in his general neighborhood and with his friends sometimes so that even if we're… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:07 AM on July 26, 2016

My dad died and I don't want to do anything
This sucks! I am sorry. My dad died about five years back and I was the executrix and I still remember the zombie days where I had so much to do and couldn't do a damned thing. It will be okay. You are not going to blow it. A few things that helped me

- Make the lawyer have the tough decisions/discussions. "That is what dad wanted and I can't change that. Please talk to the lawyer...." If you have to be rude, be (a little) rude. It's hard because everyone has… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:09 AM on July 25, 2016

How do I tell if I'm losing my hair?
The average human loses 100 hairs a day more or less. If you are a person with long hair this seems like ALL THE HAIR much more than it would if your hair is short. More in summertime. More if you're stressed. Besides checking the side effects of the medication you're taking and giving yourself some time to get back on a balanced diet, I'd suggest a dermatologist for the flaky scalp (if it's sticking around longer than another week or so) and asking about the hair loss while you're there. This… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:04 PM on July 24, 2016

Seeking small ways to practice gratitude and generosity
Letting people know you enjoyed your time with them. "It was really great to see you. I'm so glad we made time for this." sorts of things. As people get older and their lives get busy, making time for social time is often at least a small amount of work. Let people know you enjoyed yourself (assuming you did) and that you are happy they made the effort (if you did).

Also noting if someone does something that plays to their strengths "You always know what… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:55 PM on July 24, 2016 marked best answer

Which Subaru should I buy?
Are you buying new? I'm also 5' 2" and I LOVE how much I am upright in my Forrester. Can see better, fit in the car better. The Imprezas that my friends have driven are sportier and a little lower to the ground on the inside. The biggest deal for you really though is going to be good tires (you're on it!) and good knowledge of how to drive in snow since all of these have AWD. I think if I were making these choices Id be going for a used Forrester but that's just because I loved mine so much.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:34 AM on July 23, 2016

Put money toward 401k or credit card debt?
I should just scrap the whole 401(k) thing until my credit card gets paid off. But what if my credit card never gets paid off? Then I never get to retire?

Your read is correct. Pay down/off credit card. You need to work a little lower down on the hierarchy of needs (savings, emergency buffer) before you start worrying about retirement. Lots of people retire without 401ks
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 2:23 PM on July 22, 2016

Delicious ground pepper recipes
This recipe does not have a lot of pepper in it but it was the one that convinced me that good ground pepper is amazing in shortbreads. A little googling can get you some great pepper shotbread recipes.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:20 AM on July 22, 2016

Just Tighten It Up a Little Here and There
I am both a slob and a nitpicky order freak. I developed ways to sort of overlook some of the slob aspects to maintain my self-image and have lately been working on, as you say, tightening the whole thing up. A few things that were helpful

- some of my slobbishness is just laziness combined with anxiety. That is I would put off things and then be all "AAA I HAVE TO DO THIS" and rush (I feel you on the work thing) and so part of it was better time management.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:45 AM on July 21, 2016 marked best answer
When you leave a room, pick up something that doesn't belong there and put it away or in the garbage.

This helps me very much. I had a friend of a friend (maybe apocryphal story) who had velcro strips on his walls and a lot of velcroed tools and stuff he used in his art. As he'd move through the house he's take a thing from where it was and stick it along the wall closer to its eventual destination. I always liked the idea, even if it's a metaphor,… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:15 AM on July 22, 2016

What does the Braille on this restroom sign say?
It's the same as the indicators for this sign and the two dots in the front may indicate "all caps"
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:24 PM on July 21, 2016 marked best answer
Here's a person on reddit explaining why it says that.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:31 PM on July 21, 2016 marked best answer

Your mindfulness journey and success
I got to this really slowly but now I usually meditate in the 10-15 minutes per day thing. I usually do it either right when I wake up or right before I go to bed. What was helpful for me was just starting by building space. That is, as part of my anxiety management generally I built in a 40 minute buffer in the morning before I'd do anything with a screen. No checking email, no phone anything, nothing. It sucked at first. I'd set a timer and leap right on when the alarm went off, but over time… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:58 AM on July 21, 2016

Having surgery, not sure what to do about overly-helpful mother
She's offered twice and I've been evasive and non-committal so far.

Find another person and just tell her no, you have someone who is helping with that. Be polite but firm "Soandso is going with me. It would be great if you could _________" and then give her some task to do that would anchor her at home. If it were me (and I have a difficult mother though not quite like this) I would not open the door to negotiation by giving reasons but I… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:09 PM on July 20, 2016

I'm on the board of a small rural library...
One on one (or small group) tech help is a thing there is a never-ending demand for in my rural community. This can be really simple: someone who is decent with technology being available for people to come ask questions or get help with a thing. If your library has lendable tech available, maybe having some of those things on-hand in case people have questions but don't have the thing handy. I've been doing a variant of this at the local vocational school (I have a library degree but am not… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:55 AM on July 19, 2016
The website The Library as Incubator Project has a lot of other real-world examples of things that are changing what libraries are traditionally thought of in creative ways. It's a quality site and has good resources.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 3:27 PM on July 19, 2016

Fiction set in Quebec City?
The way you ask this question I wonder if you've already devoured the entire Inspector Gamache series of mysteries? One of them called Bury Your Dead, takes place in Quebec City, most of the rest of them take place at least partly in this adorable village of Three Pines. If you're looking for a new cozy series however, start at the beginning, they are great.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:25 PM on July 19, 2016 marked best answer

Data recovery with pirated content
Agreed, no one cares about your friend's pirated movies. Data loss makes people anxious and find as many worst case scenarios as possible but getting in trouble with "the authorities" for stuff like this is not one of them.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:31 AM on July 19, 2016

Is driving a rental car one way from Montreal to the USA a good idea?
If I remember correctly, you guys can bus it down to Burlington VT from Montreal (about two hours) and rent a car from the Burlington Airport if he's really hellbent on this. The train is a nice alternative since it has wifi and outlets and (sort of) food. I do not think you can actually do a one-way cross-border rental with any ease at all. I like yellowcandy's idea.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:56 PM on July 18, 2016

Food hacks for folks with executive function challenges
My ADHD guy loves his slow cooker. And he doesn't even really make recipes, just follows general guidelines and gets to eat something with meat/veg for dinner which feels more like "dinner" to him. You can also use it to make hearty soups, chilis and veggie meals like lentils and whatnot. So think of "areas" of food that you like (Italian? tacos? chilis? soups? rice dishes) and then do a little invesitgating into what might work. The good news is that you can fancy this up… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:11 AM on July 18, 2016

How do highway signs get (incorrectly) made?
Here is the sign in its native habitat, if people are curious.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:13 AM on July 18, 2016

Help me be a shameless (but respectful) promotion machine!
I should set up a Facebook page--the radio show I host with my husband gets more traffic from our FB page than the Twitter feed--but have been lazy about it.

I am committed to making it work


It seems like you're pretty good at answering your own question: take the things you say you've been slacking on (personal twitter, podcast twitter, facebook) and find a way to make those work for you within your existing… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:32 AM on July 18, 2016

Why does the university library need to report to the IRS?
I'm presuming from the tags that this is UNC? This is not a thing I've ever heard of and I'm pretty versed with library stuff. However I do know that NC politicians are trying pretty hard to dismantle the UNC system so it may be that there are a whole bunch of various accounting things that they are making the school do with all the money they get but this is a guess not something I know. Technically if you borrowed a book and then lost it they could use your SSN to send you to collections… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:57 PM on July 17, 2016

Business or Leisure?
To me I'd answer honestly and say this is a mixture of both. "Attending ComicCon and some sightseeing and visiting friends" My experience (as someone with similar concerns) is that there are usually more annoying side questions if you say "Business" They'll ask you questions about whether you made money, sold things, are bringing samples, etc. But really just being honest is the best path and maybe working out a little response ahead of time so you're not so nervous. It's… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:20 AM on July 17, 2016 marked best answer
I'll be able to hear the security person's eyes glaze up all the way from Minnesota.

Every time I've gone to Canada to go to library conferences, just the words "library conference" seems to make the customs people zone out; I think mentioning ComicCon should have the same effect.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:45 AM on July 17, 2016 marked best answer

Books About cooking, baking & restaurants - suitable for preteens
Lucy Knisley has a graphic novel that talks about growing up with a chef for a parent. It's called Relish: My life in the kitchen and School Library Journal says it's okay for Gr 6 and up, so you might want to peek it in just to make sure it will work for your daughter (there is one comment in the AZ review you may want to look at. I don't think it's a big deal but depends what is right for your family. I also enjoyed Andrew Zimmern’s Bizarre World of Food: Brains, Bugs, and Blood Sausage which… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:45 PM on July 16, 2016
Note: both of these are nominally not written for adults but I read and enjoyed both of them.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:48 PM on July 16, 2016

Why were my FOIA responses so different?
why did so many other agencies have such a hard time with it?

My sister works for a state government agency that deals with FOIA requests. And they deal with them poorly because ... they don't want to and they don't have to (note: my sister hates this, she is not part of this organizations issues). More to the point, FOIA is a thing that they need to legally comply with, but the enforcement mechanisms for that compliance are all over the map.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:34 AM on July 16, 2016

How did you sleep last night?
Her reasoning is wrong but both answers are perfectly acceptable.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:40 AM on July 16, 2016 marked best answer

When should a frugal person give up on a high-mileage car?
Hondas are really amazingly reliable cars, and if you take care of major maintenance - especially the timing belt - then you will easily get another 100,000 miles out of the car.

I've driven old Hondas before and they are great. The big deal is that the timing belts do need to be replaced every 70,000-90,000 miles (depending on model) and this is expensive maintenance (which is why you see so many Hondas for sale right under these milage limits).… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:07 AM on July 13, 2016

Cool insurance-related jobs, real or fictional!
If you don't mind off-the-wall depictions you might enjoy The Adjuster a film by Atom Egoyan.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:37 PM on July 9, 2016

My parents love me, but don't particularly like me
I'm a first born female to a dad that wanted a boy and a mom that wanted a girl and I feel like I was always a disappointment to both because I'm somewhere in the middle. My little sister is more feminine so my mom sort of got what she wanted. Both parents love me and my father truly liked me (though I wasn't the boy he'd hoped for but he powered through it) but my mom can't really relate to me. She has enough of her own personality problems (narcissism mostly) that she basically can't. So I got… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:37 AM on July 3, 2016

What should I be thinking about when renting a room out on AirBnB?
I've done it. I don't think doing AirBnB stuff if you are at home is more inconvenient than you having a lot of guests. However, I would not at all make assumptions that your landlady would not care or that she would remain hands-off through this so I would strongly suggest letting her know even if it's in an "If I dont' hear from you I will be doing this..." way.

Big deal about AirBnB is to describe the place accurately and to be really firm about what you do… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 12:36 PM on July 2, 2016

A friend asked me to help him move, & here comes the ex....
I NEVER said that I wouldn’t show up if she was there, and I was just uncomfortable with it.

This is an etiquette thing. If you said you weren't comfortable with a thing that I had asked you about and I had any leeway with the situation then I would not do it. To me the exchange goes like this

"Are you comfortable with this?"
"No."
"OK I won't do… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:25 AM on July 2, 2016

Living with an alcoholic boyfriend
He said that he needs time to think, because he feel that once I move out- he may never be able to move back in with me again.

Well that solves a problem for you doesn't it? Sorry to be snarky but honestly this is just him and the hurt talking. I found it was helpful for me to view other peoples' addictions like parasites, making the person do or say whatever they had to in order to be able to stay addicted. He'll blame you for everything and he's… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 4:02 PM on July 1, 2016

How to find grace as an atheist?
But the dying drug addict doesn't feel grace because she is accomplishing wonderful things. She feels grace because God loves and cares for her unconditionally and she is one of God's children. Even as she fails again and again.

I don't want to put a science damper on this, but there are things the brain thinks and does which we can't explain but which are nonetheless repeatable, observable things. My sister is epileptic. Before her epilepsy was… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:58 AM on July 1, 2016

Do I squash the seed of leaving or just let it grow?
Just because your boyfriend isn't a total shitheel does not mean you have to marry him. It's good that he's started taking some steps towards getting his shit together but it seems to me like for you to want to stay with him forever you'd really need to see progress being made, not just initial steps being started.

I take you at your word that he's really uniquely special in some way (even though I don't totally see it from what you say) but is also broken, whether… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:20 PM on June 30, 2016 marked best answer

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