Join 3,496 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)

Activity from jessamyn

Showing comments from:

Displaying comments 1 to 50 of 12487

Bathrooms are gross. Cleaning shouldn't be worse.
Wouldn't a mat soak that stuff up and smell worse?

Unless this is a problem worse than a few errant drops, not really, not if you toss it in the laundry weekly (and he does the laundry, so this works out well). If the problem is more than a few errant drops, you're talking "time to have a lecture about sitting/standing with him" territory. When I happen to be keeping a bathroom clean for people who are not my SOs, I'll often just run a... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 2:30 PM on August 21, 2014

Our vacation destination is...North Dakota!
This MeFi project has some great browseable photos of different places that you might enjoy. I haven't been to ND in a long time so I don't have timely recommendations. I enjoyed Fargo. I think I'd like to see the Geographical Center of North America and the Lawrence Welk birthplace. These people will pull a camper to a destination of your choice which might be worth some research and these folks have a cute Victoria cottage near a river which might make a nice place to stop.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 12:53 PM on August 21, 2014

Suburban Exploration--The Most Dangerous Adventure
I'm mainly trying to figure out how to orient myself in the suburbs as a general matter.

I'm in more of a small town than a burb so this may or may not apply but: read the paper! If there is a local paper, even if it's mostly just an advertising circular, take a look at it, learn the businesses, see the names that show up over and over again. Also: go to the library. Get library cards. Look at all the flyers and stuff in the lobby and get a feel for... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:27 AM on August 21, 2014

minor weight loss for someone with history of ED
I highly, highly suggest you waiting until you get back in therapy before making a decision.

This is my first suggestion.

My second suggestion, as someone who is roughly your size and also gets sort of grumpy when I've gained seven pounds and it makes me look lumpy is concentrate on eating better, not necessarily less. I pay attention to what I'm eating using MyFitnessPal. I like it because I can keep an eye on the balance of... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:36 PM on August 20, 2014

State of French scientific knowledge about the moon in 1878
Here's a photographic atlas of the moon published by the Paris Observatory in 1896. No actual pictures but a lot of math. I was digging around in Open Library for other stuff, but while there are a lot of lunar eclipse observations published in the 1700's, there's not as much there from the 1800s.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 2:46 PM on August 20, 2014

Weekend guest etiquette - am I right to be upset?
I didn't know the phrase "hostess gift" until I was about 35 and had met my wife.

I didn't know about it until Ask MetaFilter became a part of my life. I would bring a bottle of wine or something for people who invited me to a dinner party, but if I was passing through, maybe not. That said, I make the distinction that Dip Flash does: crashing with people versus being hosted by them. I am still often doing the former (where I am mostly... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:44 PM on August 18, 2014

What furniture is good for storing laptops?
Pie rack! Perfect for a kitchen in which you might some day have pie.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:30 PM on August 18, 2014

Is he a narcissist, or just very self-centred?
The relationship you have with him right now is what he wants his relationship with you to look like. If you're okay with that (you should not be okay with that) then you need to accept this state of affairs. If you're not okay with that then you need to leave.

In a vacuum, the answer to your question is "I don't know" In a context where you have asked other questions about this same individual, I'll have to go with FAMOUS MONSTER. I have no idea why... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 3:04 PM on August 18, 2014

Tell me about your mother...
Why are you going? From your question

- crappy sleep
- constant health anxiety/hypochondria
- obsessive behaviors that disturb you
- crying and despair feelings that are increasing in frequency

Just because you are not exhibiting those symptoms at the time you are seeing your doctor does not mean they're not serious and deserve attention. It also doesn't mean that they're just something you have to always be... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:47 PM on August 18, 2014

Where in the Bay Area can a user connect to the web via Ethernet?
whose charter precludes this?

Well the public library values your privacy and would not willingly rat you out to the authorities without the proper documentation BUT they can't do anything about the fact that the telcos and/or the US government may be spying on you, as much as they might like to. The downtown SFPL library has wired jacks (map). The EFF is based in the Bay Area and if anyone could answer this question authoritatively (if there is an... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:42 PM on August 18, 2014

How do I keep the salon from making my haircut too femme?
I go to a barber and I say "I want a man's haircut" and then I show them a photo of a man with the haircut I want. A manly man, with a beard. I say "If I could grow this beard, I would, but I can't and I'd like this man's haircut anyhow. Use clippers. Thank you. I know it's a slightly odd request."

If I lived in a bigger place, I'd scour Yelp for places that do boygirl haircuts or that advertise as queer-friendly. Once you find a person you like,... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 12:42 PM on August 18, 2014

Hit me with your best Barium cocktail recipe
A friend of mine who had to deal with this recently seconded the "do shots" strategy and also suggested biting in to a lime/lemon afterwards to purge the taste from your mouth.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:23 AM on August 18, 2014 marked best answer

Oxford shirts! Where does a shortie find herself some?
Ann Taylor petites are what I wear as well. There are a lot of styles to choose from so you don't have to go with plain old oxford cloth unless you want to.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:07 AM on August 18, 2014

patience, grasshopper.
Why do you want to be patient with people who refuse to respect your not-very-burdensome requests?

This would be my question. It seems like you are good at your job and know how to "be human" for lack of a better word and the people in your more intimate life are not being reasonable about things. You can remain confident that what you are asking for is reasonable (not to go over things again and again with your mom, not getting blown off... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:49 AM on August 18, 2014

What is the etiquette of female-male friendship when one party is taken?
Or is there a universal-size-fits-all etiquette for activities you can do with a friend of the opposite sex when they are taken?

Alas, no. I'm female and many of my good friends are male. My SO has at least one very good female friend. I have had my friends' SOs have issues from time to time with them hanging out with me and that sometimes happens. People get to work out what works for them in their relationships first (usually) and then with their... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 12:34 PM on August 16, 2014

Why would a physician refuse to accept credit cards?
What everyone else said. Getting into a credit card relationship with someone adds a whole new level of legal entanglement to whatever your existing relationship is that I could see people not wanting to deal with if they didn't absolutely have to. Basically they would give you, the consumer, additional legal options for getting your money back (or engaging in extended lengthy arbitration) if you felt that you didn't get the services you paid for. This is especially something a doctor might want... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:37 AM on August 16, 2014

Why does exercise depress/anger me?
This definitely happens to me if I'm not eating properly around exercise (i.e. something worthwhile before and something with carbs and some fat and protein within about 30 min afterwards). You can get an exaggerated sort of low blood sugar thing that can induce dark thoughts or I can anyhow. See a doctor if it's troubling you, obviously, but look at what you're eating to see if that might be the culprit.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:26 PM on August 15, 2014

Hey, bub... Wanna buy a cathedral?
I look at for sale churches ALL THE TIME and I used to live/work in an Odd Fellows Hall that we rented out to groups for, among other things, weddings. Here are the things I think are important.

- Think about what your state's alcohol laws are and what this translates into for insurance stuff that you will need to know about. All it takes is one drunk person getting into a horrible accident on the way home in a situation you didn't know you were liable for to ruin your... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 4:20 PM on August 15, 2014 marked best answer

How much hair loss is normal for a 30 year old woman on a regular basis?
The average human loses 100 hairs a day. On long-haired people this seems like a lot of hair. I go through this every so often and for me there's an anxiety component to it, just one more thing going wrong that will eventually be the cause of my ruination! I'd take a photo of yourself just out of the shower or something and compare it to a similar photo six months from now. And if you see your doctor or a hair stylist before then, ask them about it. Dermatologists are usually the people who the... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 2:54 PM on August 14, 2014

Current issues in archival reference
I think the general sense of places opening up their archives in various ways is something people have been thinking about. How do you assign rights (some people were peeved because the Folger stuff was "only" CC for example) and how do you ensure that people use them fairly? Some places worry about this effect on the revenue stream. Some places are more and less concerned with use versus preservation which are often somewhat at odds. Also there are a lot of seemingly-arbitrary rules... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 12:17 PM on August 14, 2014 marked best answer

How do I deal with ongoing animosity between long-divorced parents?
She wrote me an apology card which basically said that she was sorry she had lost her temper, but

But nothing. Fuck her. Sorry your mom is acting like a child. I have a similar adolescent mother but her issue is mostly jealousy about my (strong) relationship with my sister. I'm past the point of negotiating with her and I am way past the point of letting her dictate anything about how I run my life. We've hammered out a good relationship but it's... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 12:07 PM on August 14, 2014

Is the Mozilla Foundation a non-evil (or lesser-evil) place to support?
How about the Internet Archive instead? They're working to be a digital library for the world.

I work there, as does jscott. They're the real deal and run on a shoestring. They own a credit union and some housing in the Bay Area which they rent to Archive workers at COST so that people don't have to go broke paying rent. They believe in a better world and putting their money where their mouth is. I also support EFF and the Wikimedia Foundation as... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:57 AM on August 14, 2014

Making Macs Accessible for Dummies
Apple's accessibility page is a bit slick but it can give her a good idea of what options are available to her. The main things that I think will help her are

- dictation. That little microphone icon means she can talk and it will do a passable job of typing what she is saying
- big cursor - some people do better with a mouse and others really like the touchpad. Make sure she has the one she is most comfortable with
- fonts, big everywhere!... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 12:15 PM on August 13, 2014

Transferring files from PC to new iMac
This has happened to me, even when doing mac to mac transfers. Transferring large numbers of files is just slow. You can call Apple and ask for their suggestions on whether to stop this process (I seem to recall I've done it in the past, just said "Oh hellz no" and manually transferred stuff. The things I remembered are

- wired connection will transfer more quickly than wifi
- make sure it's not trying to back up your old hard drive including... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:57 AM on August 13, 2014

Irritability emergency!
I find that running up and down stairs or going on a no-phone-no-camera walk out in nature can help me with this. Have a small amount of coffee and eat something that is basically good for you will give you a good footing. Otherwise remember that everyone is trying to be their best selves and you can always kill them with your mind later if that appears to not be true (hey, whatever works). Another super weird thing that helps me is to actually practice smiling. Put my face in the mold (this is... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:51 AM on August 13, 2014

Free Amazon Kindle Book Listing?
Pronoiac made this thing which will point to free stuff that is on Project Gutenberg (also some top lists from them here which you can copy/paste and/or print. good list of popular books on Open Culture). Not exactly what you were looking for but there are a few other links and there was a MeFi thread about it.

Does she do email? Sometimes alert services like this are useful. It may be that you want to skip the whole Amazon thing and just go for some free classic books... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 3:49 PM on August 12, 2014

How to talk to adult male about uncircumcised penis hygiene?
The questions (in case you all have more suggestions)
Does your foreskin retract?
If yes, do you retract it to pee?
Do you wipe after you pee?
How/ are you cleaning it when you shower?


These are not questions a grown-up should ask another grown-up. They are presuming that the answer is already known and that the guy just needs to be somehow led to it as if he is somewhat dim. That's not... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:21 PM on August 12, 2014

Methods of approximation?
The halving thing will work fine so long as you have a balance that is fairly precise or can make one. Your hands are iffy in terms of this. I'm not sure if you are looking for other ways of estimating. US pennies (current ones, I don't know about the older ones)and nickels both have very precise weights of 2.5 and 5.0 grams for example.

A lot of this, unsurprisingly, will depend on what you want to measure. Many specialized organizations have ways of doing this within... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:58 AM on August 12, 2014 marked best answer

How exactly does one get help for depression
Going to the doctor because "I feel sad all the time" seems so stupid. Should I start with a psychiatrist appointment?

I found it was helpful to just call my insurance first to see what was covered. With some kinds of insurance you don't need a referral to get psychiatric care and you can just make an appointment. With some, there is a narrower range of what insurance will cover. But absolutely "I feel sad and I don't know why"... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:12 AM on August 12, 2014

Unstoppable force/Immovable object
I'm familiar with it from a high school drama festival play, Scapino. Is it possible you knew it from then? It's a punch line to a physical comedy bit.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 5:46 PM on August 10, 2014

Unexpectedly free for a night in London — suggestions for what to do?
Were you at Wikimania? I only ask because

1. I am also in London because of Wikimania with a free evening though I am mostly spending it packing and recuperating (email me if you are at the Thistle however and we should go for a local drink but I am running on fumes at the moment)
2. There are a huge number of random Wikimania people in and around the Barbican Centre including people who are in the general loose interest area that your profile page indicates... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:08 PM on August 10, 2014 marked best answer

SF stories to make one's blood pressure rise.
Many of Robert Heinlen's works, especially his "middle period" stuff sets up caricatures of women and political systems and then creates pat solutions for them. I can barely read it anymore but a lot of it is really foundational for some other sci fi that I enjoy. Harlan Ellison is another guy who has written stuff like this. Approaching Oblivion is a good place to start.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:43 AM on August 10, 2014

online library borrowing solution?
Yeah if local tools or tool librarian can't do what you are looking for, then you are looking for something that is maybe not a tool library and should expand into other sectors to solve your problem.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 3:12 AM on August 10, 2014
I think about a school library that has hundreds of one kind of book and dozens of another but needs to keep track of each borrow individual and in volume.


Any library ILS can keep track of works and editions. That is, at a bare bones level, the only thing they need to do. Can you talk about what options you have explored and why they don't work? Koha, Bibliomation, Evergreen or any of a number of options should be able to do this. They... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:19 AM on August 10, 2014

House tours (not the Newport, RI variety): specific to American hosts?
I (Northeastern US) always do it whether I'm in my apartment or at the place I spend the summers and I sort of think of it as normal, especially with good friends and especially the first time they see where I am living. So it's not like it's abnormal to not do it exactly, but a sort of "Well if you're going to be hanging out or staying here, you should know where everything is" but everything means "This hallway has bedrooms" in addition to "This is where you put your... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 3:18 AM on August 10, 2014

How to respond to office prank
my boss gradually realized that it was probably a prank from one of the other people in the office. He emailed me not to sweat it and told me to make a joke with the junior executive about me supposedly getting fired.

Oh my god I am so sorry this happened to you and happy that you are okay. It sounds like your boss is a right-on guy and made an effort to make it clear that his was not your fault. I'm with the other people in the... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:00 AM on August 6, 2014

When do I tell someone I just started dating that I am in AA?
I'd mention it and mention that it's usually something you're private about early in in a relationship (to avoid the "Why didn't you tell me!" potential) and give her time for questions. What are your concerns about telling her? That by saying that you don't drink anymore you may not have been fully honest? I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'm a very mild drinker now but I've had problems in the past. I mention it when it comes up. Unless people are specifically pre-screening for... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:11 AM on August 4, 2014

No one eats for free.
"Be The Clean Kitchen That You Want To See In The World"

"I Cook, You Clean" or some meme-ish variant (meme1, meme2, New Yorker, trendy towels)... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:09 AM on August 4, 2014

Stay for love or move for money?
People can choose to change their behavior; a period of problem drinking doesn't equate with lifelong addiction.

Sure. But 45 days sober from a sketchy bout of "Bad situations drove me to drink and be a sort of bad partner" isn't that much time sober either. And I'm concerned (as someone with a lot of alcoholism in my family) that your response here is more for reassuring yourself than you thinking you've told us something we don't know.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 2:45 PM on August 3, 2014

Must have sandalwood!
I'm a huge sandalwood nut. I tried getting the sandawood bark back when that was easier to do but didn't get much of it. What works for me was putting a few drops of the essential oils on a dryer sheet with sheets/towels etc. Not overpowering, but you get it all over the place and things smell good in many rooms of the house. There are also teeny USB diffusers that you can put a drop into and then plug it in to various tech components.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 12:56 PM on August 3, 2014

Linen and toy storage for a rustic cabin
Rubbermaid underbed bins with labels for sheet sizes. Invest in a label maker. Honestly though if you have mattresses you are going to have to worry about critters nesting in those as well. I've seen people who make basically what they call "Bed coffins" which are metal-lined largeish cedar-type chests which you fold up the mattresses and stick them inside of.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 12:03 PM on August 3, 2014

Cinema where characters are forced to cannibalize
The creepy Donner Party movie which contains the cannibalism keyword which is not as helpful as you might think.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:24 AM on August 2, 2014

Help me to be serenaded by loons, please!
It's not at all fancy but I spent my birthday in Morgan Vermont at the Seymour Lake Lodge. The place looks like it's for sale right now (so not an option) but you might try a place like this depending on when you are traveling. That said, it's a serious schlep. According to the Vermont State Parks, you can also see/hear loons at Green River Reservoir, Ricker Pond and Brighton State Parks. How do you feel about campgrounds? the Island Pond area (near Brighton) has a wealth of trails and an... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:42 AM on August 2, 2014

How does she do it?
I am very organized but not always with my time. I set a ton of reminders on my phone to remind me of things when I know I'll be able to deal with them and not when I'm in the middle of a bunch of other things. I do pomodoro technique on tasks I don't like. 15 minutes at a time seems to be an okay limit for keeping yourself focused.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:59 PM on August 1, 2014

Should I let ex stay at my home so he can visit the children?
Tell him you and your partner decided you're just not comfortable with him staying with you.

Make sure this doesn't somehow turn into "My partner doesn't want you here." You two have to act as a team on this one. You don't owe him an explanation. "It won't be possible" is totally fine, but if you decide to do that you can just say it's too disruptive to the home environment you have. Above all, do not engage in some sort of... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:24 AM on August 1, 2014

Your parents divorced? Tell me about it.
I'm terrified that my husband will end up depressed and my kids will hate me for it. I'm worried that I will cause them heartache and anxiety. The hardest part about this is hurting the ones I love.

My parents split up when I was 11. Unlike your marriage theirs had been acrimonious for quite some time and it was actually a kindness when they split because my home life got much better very quickly. Here are a few things I... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:22 AM on July 31, 2014

Cheap-ass running shoes plz.
I got some inexpensive Saucony brand sneakers that have been totally fine for the low level running/biking/hiking that I do. Basically a version of these.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:49 PM on July 29, 2014

How can I fix this bath drain plug?
Oh god these piece of shit things! I think they reverse thread, try that first. I remember I had the same problem and I no longer have it so it must be something stupid simple like that.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:48 PM on July 29, 2014

Conceal medical cannabis use in dating profile?
Honestly? If I were interested in someone on OK Cupid, that's something I'd want to know about them. It would be a factor in my decision making.

This is me also for LTR stuff. With just casual fun type of dating I don't think I would care too much. That said, I don't know if it needs to be in your profile so much as disclosed early on in communications. I've got a lot of past history with substance abuse problems (personally and in my family) and... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:55 AM on July 29, 2014

What are the hardest to prepare recipes in history?
There are a few good suggestions in this (wider scope) AskMe from 2011.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:18 AM on July 29, 2014

Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 250