Keep in mind too that there is a very large difference between negative self-thoughts [which I feel that most people with depression/anxiety at some level have to grapple with from time to time] and expecting other people to validate those thoughts.

So, just picking the one I can relate to... having a crappy family. It's totally one thing to be like "Oh my fucking GOD my drunken dad is invading my personal space again; this is embarassing and horrible and I'll never... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:05 AM on December 19, 2009

NYPL has a bunch of microfilm readers. Since microfilm is fairly standard, you can probably use them, might want to call ahead and see if there's any problem with BYO. Here's one example of one of their lirbaries that has not only a reader but a fairly nice printer.A number of microfilm readers are available in the Jewish Division reading room, including the new Canon 800 reader-printer, which produces the best possible paper copies from microfilm and microfiche at 25 cents a copyOnce you take a... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 5:27 PM on December 18, 2009

Phantom Tollbooth?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 3:15 PM on December 18, 2009

I've done VISTA and AmeriCorps. I did AmeriCorps as a part-timer which is a possible option for you. I'd talk to some of the people who are in the local program and see what they think about it. Subsisting on very little [plus there's the educational bonus, plus there's health care] isn't too tough BUT it can be annoying as hell if your particular program is poorly run. There's a LOT of paperwork involved in AmeriCorps and depending on the program, you may be all out by your lonesome, or you may... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:54 AM on December 18, 2009

I review places for TripAdvisor all the time. I've given exactly one bad review, but I've seen other ones. The owner can respond sort of like with eBay feedback but they definitely can't delete reviews. This guy sounds totally creepy and quite likely a thief. It's good that it didn't wreck your vacation, but it would have totally wrecked mine.

I say give a sort of flat neutral assessment of your time there, stick to what you know [i.e. "we think he took our... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:21 AM on December 18, 2009

"Owner appeared inebriated whenever we saw him, day or night, and acted inappropriately including twittering about our activities, emailing us constantly, flirting with female members of our group and asking too many personal questions"
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:50 AM on December 18, 2009 marked best answer

[a few comments removed - please try to keep comments constructive, thanks]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:38 AM on December 18, 2009

Honey curry snaps! They are like ginger snaps but more savory and incredibly delicious.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:21 PM on December 17, 2009

I keep a notecard my the computer for when I'm actually working and think of something offline that I'd like to do but can't at the moment. This drives my offline time. Here are some things on that list. Some of them have online components, but they're directed, not just aimless clicking.

- read books
- return library books
- cook dinner
- bake
- make snacks for office parties/holidays/whatever
- do... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 2:23 PM on December 17, 2009 marked best answer

[comments removed - hello I am back from food shopping, lulz need to go to email, thanks!]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 2:06 PM on December 17, 2009

follow-up from the OP Thank you all for your insight and support. I appreciate it.

We talked more, and I learned that he secured the apartment at a time when we were fighting a lot. I had been unkind to him. He has had access to the apartment since the end of November, and he didn't expect things to get better between us (at the time, I realized I was being unfair to him and unsupportive, and look a long look at myself for how non-committal and awful I was being, and he... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:40 AM on December 15, 2009

one more follow-up from teh OP It all went to hell again as I thought about how much effort and work it took to do this. It took a number of separate steps to do this, and I'm okay, but the shock just splashes over me. It was my name on the lease. He forged my signature on the Notice to Vacate. In trying to salvage the situation and save myself from my own humiliation (lie to myself), I told the property management company he bought me a condo for Christmas (I'm such an idiot, but I was too... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 12:44 PM on December 17, 2009

I suggest appropriate outfits and snowshoes in case you decide to venture outside. It's sort of nice to get to walk without everything being slippery in the wintertime. Other things that have cold weather options [and I'm totally stealing the balloon thing for NYEve punch, it's about ten degrees here today]

- ice candles [with wax]
- ice candles [with water]
- build a snow arch
- snowflake photography [and plastic... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 12:42 PM on December 17, 2009

I wash my hair a lot because I swim and I've found that this time of year particularly the flyaway thing is really pesty. I am not, by any stretch, a hair care expert but I think you need to think about maybe two things... do you want just no-flyaway, or are you looking for a little body too? I have a hair-shine product [I get all this stuff handmedown from my sister, so I have no idea where to buy it or even if they make it anymore] that's something CitriShine makes that is mostly a shiny thing.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:32 AM on December 17, 2009

I work with novice computer users a lot. I've found that the standard ipod is much easier than an ipod touch for novice users. Once you understand the sidescrolling menus and the clickwheel you are DONE. An ipod touch is overkill and you have to deal with a variety of different interface styles plus there's no benefit to all the other bells and whistles [surfing the web, email, whatnot] when someone really basically wants to listen to music. Your old ipod is likely fine. The onyl thing simpler... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:25 AM on December 17, 2009

In the Beginning Was the Command Line - Neal Stephenson's essay/novella about the different operating systems' evolution and how they're interrelated.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:48 AM on December 17, 2009

What you want is to toast the tomato paste...

Did you miss the "not too much extra preparation" part? There are a few ways you can add some good tastes to spaghetti if you really don't want to do a lot of work. Basically you can see spaghetti sort of like a salad and add things that taste good over vegetables.

- fry up two slices of bacon. sautee garlic in bacon grease, mix with 1 Tb olive oil and toss over... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:46 AM on December 17, 2009

What gets tricky is that a lot of photos are privacy limited in weird ways. So you could have a friend search for you, but they might only be able to see photos that friends or friends of friends had taken. That is, there might still be photos with your name attached [I think?] that weren't visible to your friends. The good news is, it's super simple once you've found a photo in facebook, to share it outside of facebook, so if a friend saw such a photo they could actually send you a link to it,... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:57 PM on December 16, 2009

[links removed - please keep MeFi in MeFi and AskMe in AskMe thanks]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 5:41 PM on December 16, 2009

[few comments removed - this is not a good thread for tangents. Sorry.]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 3:53 PM on December 16, 2009

Is Mad Max too obvious? When I had a motorcycle riding boyfriend, I swear he and his friends watched that movie Every Single Weekend, like for an entire summer.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 3:52 PM on December 16, 2009

follow-up from the OP
Thanks to everyone for the replies.

Some have asked for more details about the divorce, so here they are. The wedding was several years ago, so while it's been a short marriage, it's not so short that it raises a red flag. There are no kids. As far as I know, there has been no infidelity or other high drama; she says that things have simply fizzled out and gone flat. They're still on good terms, but it's purely a platonic relationship... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 2:35 PM on December 16, 2009

I've noticed that while walking in fairly isolated non-urban areas it's pretty standard to somehow acknowledge other people. Strangely, in isolated urban areas people tend to do their best to ignore each other.

This is pretty normal. We have all the personal/private space we need out in the country so we don't need to carve any extra out. In urban areas people sort of need to carry their personal bubble with them to a certain extent.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:27 AM on December 16, 2009

I've done this travelling on Amtrak on and off for a month. Keep in mind that you can obtain cold and hot water from the dining car (may have to pay for "tea" if they're really being jerks) so things that you add hot water too [ramen, oatmeal] are totally okay. Bring a few ice cold drinks and put them in a soft sided cooler with....

- sliced cheese
- apples
- a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or celery and peanut butter
-... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:33 AM on December 16, 2009

If you asked your spouse to change this, and your spouse refused, what would you do?

It sounds like you've asked and on at least some occasions FB has said "I'll fix it." My approach would be to say "Okay, let's do that now" during a low-stress moment when you both have a little bit of time. If for some reason LP balks, then I think you have a problem. As with all things in realtionships, you can decide if this is a dealbreaker... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:27 AM on December 16, 2009

from an interviewLaurie: Several of my readers wanted to know about your beautiful dresses...

Anne-Sophie: Oh holy cow!

Laurie: They love your elegant look on stage, and they wondered, where does she get those beautiful dresses, how does she pick them out?

Anne-Sophie: Actually that's no big deal, I've gone the the same designer since I was 17 years old, and basically my dresses are all the same, just different colors,... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:15 PM on December 15, 2009 marked best answer

But, all in all, nothing beats maple syrup. On, with or in anything

This is my approach. I use regular white or brown sugar for baking but anything else that's sweetened [except the occasional diet soda] including coffee, tea, lemonade, yogurt, banana bread, granola, salad dresssing, etc. gets Grade B maple.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 3:23 PM on December 15, 2009

I can often tell if people are smokers by slight stains on their cigarette-holding hands and/or beards.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 6:51 PM on December 14, 2009

[few comments removed - metatalk is always an option folks.]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:26 PM on December 14, 2009

[comments removed - can we make an effort for this not to turn into a lulzathon, please?]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 2:34 PM on December 15, 2009

[few comments and response comments removed - snarking about other people's situations is crappy, don't do that here. also unless the "gender reversal" comments add something to the thread, they aren't helping. MetaTalk is certainly your option.]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 1:57 PM on December 15, 2009

[question is "how do I deal with my anger?" - please stay out of sidebar conversatoons about the nature of love/relationships, thanks. If you're unclear on how AskMe works, email a mod or go to metatalk.]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 2:29 PM on December 15, 2009

follow-up from the OP I went ahead and ordered the books.

More importantly, though, I had another anonymous MeFite e-mail me, also with a fake e-mail, who shared my fetish. We both knew that this was a somewhat common thing, but neither of us had ever contacted another person about it directly. Having a real live person to talk to who is (so far) not skeevy is pretty unbelievable.

I know that I would never join an online group because I'd be... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 12:57 PM on December 15, 2009

Medications for schizophrenia can ebb in effectiveness and new medications may need to be tried. You should calmly let your friend know that this may be one of those times.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:20 AM on December 15, 2009

This question has [sort of] been asked before.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:47 AM on December 15, 2009 marked best answer

The headline could have said "Ashkenazi" women, but it's not a common word outside of the Jewish community.

This. Ashkenazi Jews know who they are but many [most?] other people don't know or care about the difference between them and, say, Sephardic Jews (one side of my family is an intermarriage of both which is probably the only reason I know anything about this). So I'm annoyed only because it's sort of sloppy journalism [as jujube says]... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 8:01 AM on December 15, 2009

Get a hotel room and just come over for meals and other structured activities. If anyone asks you why, tell them that you are stressed out by the environment. Be as honest and calm about it as possible.

This is my strategy. My family/home life has improved a lot since the bad ol' days but in short you can only manage yourself and your time. You do not need to become part of the drama and in fact it's totally acceptable to, instead of going to find... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 11:55 AM on December 14, 2009

[comment removed - please do not turn this into a debate. Feel free to take this up in MetaTalk or email. Thank you.]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 5:09 PM on December 14, 2009

[few comments removed - answers that say "don't do this" are fine, answers that berate the OP, less so. MetaTalk is an option, as is email, thanks.]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:43 AM on December 14, 2009

Smartwool socks.
A very soft scarf to wear, can be indoor/outdoor.
Something that amusingly suggests he should grow a big wooly beard.
YakTrax are great.
Electric mattress pad warmers are life-changers but would eat up half your budget.
Wool booties for wearing indoors.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:47 AM on December 14, 2009

I don't know if you mean overheating like "fan runs all the time" or something worse like "shuts down unexpectedly" I've been running 10.6 on my Macbook Air and have found slightly less of the "fan runs constantly" behavior. I also got a new lap desk which may have helped. Flash seems to be the biggest culprit for Macs and the fan-runs-all-the-time problem. I've also been expermenting with CPU underclocker called Coolbook which can sometimes keep things cool even... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 7:43 AM on December 14, 2009

follow-up from the op I hate when Ask threads remain cliffhangers, so I am asking Jessamyn (who has been very kind) to post this follow-up. I have not taken the Adderall. I expect to do very badly on my exam (tomorrow), and I know that's almost entirely because I don't seem to be capable of sitting down and working steadily for more than a minute at a time. I think I created the impression in my original question that this is a one-time problem and the result of months of overwork. That's not... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 12:03 PM on December 13, 2009

Does it diminish the creepy if it's not to an ex?

Diminishes, yes, but not to a level of uncreepy enough that it's okay to do.

It really seems to me, especially now, that you have some need to give a woman a banjo which means this is about you, not them. So whether it's creepy or not is one thing. Sometimes dramatically odd and arty gestures like this one succeed against all odds. However if you are unsure of social mores... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 3:50 PM on December 12, 2009

[few comments removed - maybe enough fo the "send me a banjo!" comments?]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 10:53 AM on December 13, 2009

I work in the library profession but it turns out I hate working in libraries! I have a very similar theory to DiscourseMarker's personal Theory of Crap. That is, I think any workplace is maybe 20-50% broken at all times and it's important to me that if things are broken, they're broken in a way I can handle. So, here are things that I care about.

- Is my boss fair to me and other employees? [concerning time-off and vacation times and occasional bending of... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:57 AM on December 13, 2009

follow-up from the OP ohyouknow wrote: "The Power of Now" - I will order this immediately, thank you.

camworld wrote: "Have you considered therapy?" - It's being arranged. What I basically need is whatever will help me make it through the night until then, and I'd like to thank everybody for giving me exactly the advice I need. You are all very generous, and I've considered every word that all of you have written and I'm taking it all in.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:21 AM on December 13, 2009

You need an electric mattress pad. Get it started while you're brushing your teeth, it will make the bed nice and toasty.

There is no other answer than this. It will change your life. Worth the one time investment, lasts for years. Add it to flannel sheets and a nice down comforter and you're sleeping in style for less than $150.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:11 PM on December 12, 2009

Add: I keep mine on for a few hours sometimes at night [yeah I'm a late night online scrabble player] every night and it adds maybe a few bucks a month to my bill, it's pretty insubstantial.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 9:14 PM on December 12, 2009

I'll speak briefly to the MeFi side. Generally speaking, your anonymous questions here are private. That is, I don't know who asks them without looking into the database to figure it out. More importantly I don't care. More importantly than that, we have a general code of ethics here which means we do not tell other people who asked anonymous questions, for lulz or any other reason, it's just not done. So, if you wanted to ask a question about something sexy, scary or creepy, you'd have to worry... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 4:55 PM on December 12, 2009

Nope. To the best of my knowledge. I think we've willingly provided it in maybe one case [ebay scammer story - MeMail me for details or search old MeTa] but I don't think otherwise.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by jessamyn at 5:27 PM on December 12, 2009