Activity from jessamyn

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There is also this essay by Russell Brand about loving someone with a problem (in this case Amy Winehouse and her addiction) [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

[few comments removed - please stick to the topic] [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

Tim Carmody is a treasure. [more]
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MetaTalk comment - 3 weeks ago

Then she cried and cried because I ruined Thanksgiving by not coming home. People have given you great advice about your brother but I'd like to also point out that this is so far from normal that it is also neglectful and emotionally… [more]
favorited 52 times
Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

My father was a stay-at-home drunk in his retirement, sitting on the couch and making an awful lot of pronouncements about how other people, including me, should live their lives. Two pieces of advice he gave me were worth more to me later than they… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

Your clarification still sounds like you basically told your co-worker to make sure he wasn't killed like a character in a movie was, which is a very weird statement to make, and his taking offense/being put off by it is completely normal… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

Looks like there are two articles with that title in that book's citations. One is online here and doesn't have that content. Manhattan Inc ceased publication in 1990 (though continued on as M Inc) and you can check Worldcat to see if there is a… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

Be disappointed in cortex, that went exactly how I planned it. [more]
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MetaTalk comment - 3 weeks ago

I think you're going to find the Cape a little remote for you and you might want to look at the other side of the bridge? My dad retired to Westport MA which is a little retirement town on the South Coast of MA. I'm not sure I'd suggest there… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

My mother-in-law decided any help she offers will be in the form of taking my breastfed infant out of state for a month until I can have other arrangements in place. Unless you are desperate and need to do this for those reasons, this is… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

She and I agree re. what behaviors should mean a time out or a loss of privileges, and we're both the bad cop with those. I just don't think real yelling from adults should be part of discipline or part of family life. You are correct… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

It seems like you've explored options. It's unclear from your question if this is happening at one house or at multiple houses? My suggestion is based on one house. If this were my family member I would consider spending the $20-30/mo that cable… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 4 weeks ago

If you live somewhere where this is okay, a simple window feeder is a great way to figure out what's nearby you and get to see birds up close. Or even have a few feeders, depending on what your house is like. I live in a second floor apartment and I… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 4 weeks ago

With kindness, I think you may have buried the lede where you were in another controlling abusive relationship before this one, and that there is a child involved. It can be hard to break the cycle of being with people who are wrong for you but… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 4 weeks ago

I turned off the notifications. I had a phone for a long time with a terrible battery so I didn't use it for things that drained it (i.e. facebook). I have a routine where I get up in the morning and do something, anything, for 45 minutes that… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 4 weeks ago

in which I learned the term "ethnography" from Jessamyn. I am a wizard! I did not comment in that thread! [more]
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MetaTalk comment - Last month

have a 'post when permitted' button that allows you to submit the post, but actually posts it to the front page at the 24 hr point. Better: have a "post when permitted" button that actually posts to the front page at the 25 hour… [more]
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MetaTalk comment - Last month

When I need to do this, I'm usually at the SIBL branch of NYPL. Comfy chairs, cubbies for working, good internet. OK for everything but teleconferences (imo). [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Alan Mendelson, The Boy from Mars by Daniel Pinkwater. That book is amazing but it is not this book. [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

my current kitchen has NO stove hood filter/fan whatsoever. None. Ditto. And where to start with the wrong weirdness of this kitchen? - I have over a gallon of maple syrup in the fridge in four different containers because they are… [more]
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MetaTalk comment - Last month

Just FYI but you could get a refurbed Mac laptop for just a little more than that. That said a refurbed Dell would be half that and a lower end laptop would be under $200. So it might be worth adjusting your search from "$999 laptop that last… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Have you experienced this, do you know where it comes from, and how do you change it? This is how I am. People are often surprised to know that I have a great deal of ... it's not anxiety or awkwardness so much as an "I have no… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Libertarians in the US are different from Anarchists in that they usually believe "the market" is the way to level playing fields and get things to work out. So you don't need environmental regulations because better companies will… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

The first thing I think of here is BATHTUB (I mean, if you have one). What I would be doing is loading up on goo and weird smelling stuff and - making sure my bathroom was clean - lighting candles and maybe some incense - having clean towels… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

FWIW, there are also some piratical sites that specialize in academic content and have an eclectic collection of journals. SciHub. So much of this is relative to where you live. I had a whole answer set up and then saw you are in… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Was just coming here to say, I was at Funspot on Monday and they played a lot of Wham! It's also a good time for some 80s metal if you can stand stuff like Steppenwolf/Born to be Wild or Motorhead's "Please Don't Touch" [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Friend was present as the whole scene unfolded and we both realized the flowers would harm the cat; the cat would have to go to the ER. The only scenario I can see where this is friend's responsibility is if friend brought the flowers… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

It's fighting with itself. Can you soap up the window just for a day (on the outside) so it basically can't see its reflection? Just drag a bar of soap around it in irregular zigzags. Will come off with a hose or in the next rainstorm. [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

My 40s have been pretty great compared to other decades. I feel like I know who I am in a lot of ways and so can have more certainty in the things that I am doing. Doesn't mean I always do the sensible or "correct" thing but I have a better… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

I travel with a white noise machine usually, though I use the one on my phone as a backup. This is one I've been looking at but not yet gone all-in and purchased yet. I'm lucky enough to be able to sleep with earplugs and it does seem like you might… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

First an answer to your stated question: the crazy cat lady danger zone is above N+1. That is, when you have one more cat than people that is enough cats usually. This doesn't mean it's wrong or a problem but just... that is the fact. Three cats for… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

If you make and submit your own, you're stuck with it. Still mad! [more]
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MetaTalk comment - Last month

The two things that seem at issue here are the "I can't control this" aspects of your personalities. For you the crying and for her the shutting down/blackout rage stuff. These conflict. If it's true that both of you can't control these… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Surely you can see how this would be morally wrong? I disagree with your metaphor and your description of my comment as "overreacting" and won't be engaging with you on this topic further. [more]
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MeFi comment - Last month

letting somebody live in a state of denial about the health risks is not helpful either - it's just a form of enabling. Assuming that if you have one data point about someone you can tell how healthy they are is likewise a form of false… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last month

I would need to see a photo of Tiny Dictator to be certain of the answer to this question. [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

I have a prescription for 25mg of Zoloft (which would be increased, obviously) and I'm probably going to fill it this week. I'm not at all uncomfortable with meds, I'm just worried that maybe my anxiety "isn't bad enough". Maybe I'm… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

There are two AskMe threads that I think are good intros to this topic - Cutting Costs without Feeling the Pinch - What Else Can I Stop Doing Both of these have a lot of people giving advice from the practical "quit paying for cable and… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

it'll probably be at least 2 years before the divorce is finalized due to logistical reasons (financial complications). This sounds murky and weird. I am a divorced person and I am dating someone who was in a complicated relationship… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

He also doesn't think there's anything I can do to make it up to him. He sounds like he's someone managing his stress poorly. You guys had a miscommunication (both of you, not just you, both of you). You shouldn't have to cancel going to… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Great friends are people who - remember your preferences for food/drink stuff and always make your coffee the way you like it - send you little fun stuff in the mail for no reason - remember things that are going on in your life and ask you… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Will she still be around? Absolutely. I'll write up a longer personal thing a bit later but this is literally just "I am moving on in my professional life." MetaFilter remains my online home.... MetaTalk comment - favorited 496 times… [more]
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MetaTalk comment - Last month

You can also think over the questions ALL DAY if it helps you. Some people are bad at snap answers. I have to grind them out a lot of the time, trying to jog my memory by going down the alphabet "Does her name start with A? B? C?...?" [more]
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MetaTalk comment - Last month

I'm not a big seafood eater and I think one of the reasons was from watching Ackroyd eating the salmon when his santa beard kept getting in the way and I always think of it as being ... stiff and fuzzy. [more]
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MeFi comment - Last month

I don't feel like it's too much heavy-lifting but it might be borderline but Richerd Powers sometimes does this for me and The Gold Bug Variations might do it for you. The Time Traveler's Wife, if you haven't read it, is good for that full-heart… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

The first book that really pulled out my heart and stomped on it was The Changeling by Zilpha Snyder. I just read that book a few months ago and ... wow, yeah. So good but so sharp in some ways too. I also loved We Have Always Lived in… [more]
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MetaTalk comment - Last month

I don't feel comfortable asking friend to help pay for this vet bill, but I feel like if I were in their shoes, I would absolutely offer to help. That would be the better etiquette move, even a token, but it's not how everyone would… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

I took Amtrak from Boston to Chicago back in the 90s I did this too! They had those All Aboard America tickets and for $250 you could get a trip that lasted up to a month with a bunch of stops and sort of hop on and off. I went from… [more]
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MetaTalk comment - Last month

Well sounds like there are two separate issues 1. Is colleague actually allowed to hire interns? Like, I am unclear if the issue is they did this without your okay (not cool but that's an internal issue you work out with coworker) or if they did… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

the bulk of my discussion has concerned a different, greater obsession/anxiety that I'm not really going to expand upon because that's not relevant to this discussion. Obsessional thoughts, particularly ones that are intrusive and cause… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

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