Activity from jessamyn

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Sometimes people, especially anxious people, can really get derailed when something like the people-from-gym thing happens. Like "Oh god I don't even know how I feel about this guy and now people from the place I go every day will think were a… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

How's your media consumption? I've found I have an easier time with some of this when I am not watching TV or reading glossy magazines that have BUY MOAR as one of their primary purposes. What's your peer group like? Is this a thing they share? If… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Visa has a page full of possible reloadable card options. Your bank really takes weeks to replace your card? I am also assuming you like your bank? But yeah if so a second linked savings account with a debit card should work just fine, good app to… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Hey this is sort of what my parents did. They split up when I was 11 and stayed married for mulble-mumble reasons including my dad feeling like he was a failure if they divorced and my mom needing health insurance and being unwilling or unable to get… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Partner is bummed I am not excited for their trip and I wish I could be, but the fears drown it out. Yeah I think you're getting a little catastrophizing here. As everyone else has said, not only is this not a very strenuous hike for… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

I use DownThemAll which will do half of this stuff exceptionally well with no bullshit. It does not (to the best of my knowledge) save passwords and I don't know if you can just start from a link (as opposed to from a web page). [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

If I remember right you have recently moved into this house. If the stuff you have in the garage doesn't fit in the house, I guess my question would be "Do you have a plan for it that doesn't include miraculously having space in the NEXT house?… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

So did the person who bought an account to rant against the subject of the original metafilter post minutes after it went up get banned? Nope, not as far as I can tell. They're on our watchlist which doesn't mean much except that we'll… [more]
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MetaTalk comment - Last month

I have to apologize and acknowledge my ass-hattery for a few other reasons and intend to. This is an admirable thing to do, but read the room. It can be easy to take the giving of an apology and turning it into an "all about… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

they will say yes when they want to say no, and then hate you the whole time they're doing the thing for you and forever after. * light bulb * [more]
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MetaTalk comment - Last month

I'd like to safely kayak without worrying that a capsize will kill me - how good of a swimmer do I need to be to be appropriately confident that it won't? I was a lifeguard. Most people, even those in boating accidents, do not drown… [more]
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It me! [more]
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MetaTalk comment - Last month

It's sort of a two part thing: how to recognize good design and then how to make the tools make it look good. I really like Butterick's practical typography for understanding how letters and words and sentences and paragraphs fit together. It's… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Are you female? I have often been in don't-care situations w/r/t the amount I've gotten paid and people have made the argument (which I'm not sure I agree with but I present it here) that part of what you're doing is setting the going rate for people… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

My Stroke of Insight is a great beginners "Where do I start" place. It's by a brain researcher who had a stroke so has a lot of first person information in addition to a lot of sciencey stuff. It's good reading and it's optimistic and it… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

when they are speeding up intake so they don't have to pee at night. This person sounds, from your description, like they may hold some unconventional beliefs about medicine, etc. I'm also presuming (with little data) they you may have… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

The key isn't to find questions that work for everyone but to make sure that everyone has a few secure questions to choose from. Exactly. Many security questions don't apply to me but I consider it a win if at least some of them can. The… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Yeah the answer to "How to do this?" is "QR codes" as goofy as they are. There are some neat beacon things you could do (examples from libraries) but they'd require people to already be using the software which is probably NOT… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

There's nothing to be gained by confronting them, it just gets you more entangled in their nonsense. I agree with other people, you feel a strong connection to him because of the general personality trait he has about dishonesty and lying. It's hard… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Coming slightly late to this but I had an anecdote that might be useful. I teach graduate school. The course I am teaching is online and is a class in advocacy for libraries, so learning how to change minds, help people, get things done. One of my… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Please send me a copy of the file if you do. [more]
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MetaTalk comment - Last month

though am agnostic about coffee preparation methods We are friends for life. [more]
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MetaTalk comment - Last month

Your ex had pretty much full time custody of your kid.... Your are under mining that and teaching your child lying to parents is ok. Just a differing perspective on this. Custody arrangements like this one are not uncommon where the… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Maybe if you're from Michigan or New Jersey or something you can "just do what you want", but...???????? But nothing. There's nothing special about NJ or Michigan that gives people there special powers. You're making this into… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Some of this will depend a lot on where you are. I live in a rural area, and have a nice relationship but with someone who is far away so I like to aim for connectedness in my day to day life also. Some things I do - attend community… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

I had similar issues in my marriage after growing up with an alcoholic dad and a massively codependent mom. Haha, this is me exactly too! I would look into the mirror and ask myself "Am I being controlling and abusive or am I the… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

What am I not thinking of? A lot of people manage this transition by setting the new rates at some useful transition point (beginning of 2015 for example) and then opting in to giving existing clients a discount if this is onerous for… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Do they need to be 100% sincere? I was thinking about St. Bushmills Choir. I used to see them play every St Pat's in Seattle. Might be a bit too Dropkick Murphys for you. There's also Boiled in Lead. [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

It sounds like they don't have the awareness/energy to acknowledge your feelings right now. Henry sounds exhausting, and I'm sure they're worried and upset all the time. And I totally understand why you would find that hurtful. If you can, I'd… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

My uncle was heavily involved in the counterculture movement, was one of the founders of the San Francisco Mime Troupe and the Diggers and toured the country in his live-aboard vehicle spreading the word about communitarian living. He is now… [more]
favorited 47 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last month

It's pretty important to figure out what is causing the smell to learn to address it. And to clarify if the "gross smell" is just one they don't like ir if the room smells literally like garbage, BO or something worse. A few possible… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

I date a guy with sole custody (kid is now older but was younger when we met) and an unreliable ex and he lives three hours from me. We've been together eight years. It can work! Part of what you need to deal with is boundaries. And he may have poor… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Toad baked some cookies. “These cookies smell very good,” said Toad. He ate one. “And they taste even better,” he said. Toad ran to Frog’s house. “Frog, Frog,” cried Toad, “taste these cookies that I have made.” Frog ate one of the cookies, “These… [more]
favorited 213 times
MetaTalk comment - Last month

I feel like this may die down on its own as our relationship continues to go well, and maybe I'm jumping the gun in being concerned. To be clear, I have no issue with my boyfriend being friends with his ex. I just have issues with him being her… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

I've always been partial--in a general sense--to the idea of an omsbudperson, someone who reported regularly on whether they felt things were working as advertised or not. Someone who wasn't a mod. Someone who had the trust and respect of the… [more]
favorited 18 times
MetaTalk comment - Last month

The big deal that people talk about with burners is that there are a LOT of nutty numbers to type in and so even though these phones are otherwise nice dumb phones, sometimes people prefer the weird AARP-sponsored phones which have a monthly fee, but… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Coming back to this today I think one of the things that was so tricky for me and my guy was the difference between me understanding that he could have looser boundaries with his friends (and family, and that was okay) but that TEAM US (which… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

I had a partner (tho not one I live with) who went through a really harrowing set of years. This was, understandably, tough for everyone. While he definitely had it harder than I did, there was also a lot of tough stuff for me (since what's hard for… [more]
favorited 26 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last month

I would assume without specifics that there are some very well-paid physicians and specialists at Dartmouth and yet that makes no sense when you look at the salaries in Massachusetts. It may be that NH is a weird combination of low-population (so not… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Matt Haughey is 100% guesser Explains so much! [more]
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MetaTalk comment - Last month

I'd think of what your output needs to be. So like if the answer is "No, they do not address those topics/events" that's an easy one but if the answer is "Yes, they involve those topics/events" then do you need to... Write… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

East coast USA female. "Sure" means the same as "yes" to me Likewise. I'm familiar with the shruggy sense of "Sure, I guess...." formation but my feeling of it is that it's just a more casual way to say yes. [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Also: on the off chance that your handle might suggest places you'd like to go... notable New England Libraries - Boston Athenaeum - Harvard's Houghton Library (with MeFi's Horace Rumpole often willing to give you a tour) - This weird place on… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

One travel trip - summer car rentals at Logan can be stupid expensive Agreed. Plus when you get your rental car you are in downtown Boston! Check Manchester and also Providence which is a lovely little airport and also not that far from… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

is it better to aim for it, and smush it more, in the hopes of breaking it down faster so crows and other scavengers can clean it away? I sort of feel like when I am traveling in the car I am not actually part of the circle of life. I'd… [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last month

The "go bag" equivalent for moving is a box/bag with a shower curtain & rings, toilet paper, lamp, extention cord, one set of eating-ware [fork, spoon, knife, plate cup], phone, soap, towel, trash bag or two, duct tape and a box… [more]
favorited 6 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last month

We did this thing at a library conference, this After Dark thing where we all did late night talks that were more outre than maybe usual talks. We all had walk-on music. My walk-on music was this. If I were a heel, which I am not, my walk on music… [more]
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MetaTalk comment - Last month

I am a fairly controlling person. I used to be much, much worse. The line between healthy levels of control and unhealthy levels of control is the line of respect. When you snap at your partner for looking at map wrong (!) or for asking an… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

I want to be with someone that has similar values! You want what you want, but flat out you are not with someone who shares your values on this. So this is why the counselor is focusing on emotions, because at some level you and your… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

This is the issue with SNL - a reluctance to take on social issues of its own time. I think it does and it doesn't. The news is more incisive than it's been on SNL in many years but the sketches seem to hit and miss. I think, though,… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last month

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