Activity from jessamyn

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Where her = your friend and not your friend's girlfriend (who it also has nothing to do with, but is less your concern). And concur with what DarlingBri and others have said, the drama can stop with you. Have fun. [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

If you're not super savvy with Word you can also drop images into a table so that you won't have as many issues flowing text around images. [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

What is the best, most diplomatic way to regularly decline participating in these optional events without giving the wrong impression? I'm politically engaged but in different, sometimes VERY different, ways from people who I work with. I… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

CityMapper is also good for the Boston area and you can use it to compare cost vs time with stuff like Lyft vs bus. Highly recommended. [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Nothing any Metafilter member has to post is so interesting that they couldn't wait another 24 hours if they miss the daily deadline. This represents my version of Perfect MetaFilter. I realize it's different for others, but… [more]
favorited 29 times
MetaTalk comment - 2 months ago

it will not make you more desirable This may be skewed for women, possibly, because I found that losing 25% of my body weight was totally the difference between getting random attention and not. Which is, as you might expect, a mixed bag… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

it is better if I not become dependent on them. She has suggested thinking positive thoughts to counter the negative ones When people tell me things like this, I ask if they have any first person experience with clinical depression or… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

The biggest deal for me was reading a lot of books that had kids that were not at all like me, so part of this is defining what "not like them" is. Ezra Jack Keats books about young black children who lived in cities were useful to have for… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

It's hard to move from mj to something else for managing anxiety because a lot of the positive self-talk surrounding marijuana (and I have used it occasionally, I am not an anti-mj person) is all about how it's a natural way to relax. Moving to… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

There is also this essay by Russell Brand about loving someone with a problem (in this case Amy Winehouse and her addiction) [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

[few comments removed - please stick to the topic] [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Tim Carmody is a treasure. [more]
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MetaTalk comment - 2 months ago

Then she cried and cried because I ruined Thanksgiving by not coming home. People have given you great advice about your brother but I'd like to also point out that this is so far from normal that it is also neglectful and emotionally… [more]
favorited 52 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

My father was a stay-at-home drunk in his retirement, sitting on the couch and making an awful lot of pronouncements about how other people, including me, should live their lives. Two pieces of advice he gave me were worth more to me later than they… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Your clarification still sounds like you basically told your co-worker to make sure he wasn't killed like a character in a movie was, which is a very weird statement to make, and his taking offense/being put off by it is completely normal… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Looks like there are two articles with that title in that book's citations. One is online here and doesn't have that content. Manhattan Inc ceased publication in 1990 (though continued on as M Inc) and you can check Worldcat to see if there is a… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Be disappointed in cortex, that went exactly how I planned it. [more]
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MetaTalk comment - 2 months ago

I think you're going to find the Cape a little remote for you and you might want to look at the other side of the bridge? My dad retired to Westport MA which is a little retirement town on the South Coast of MA. I'm not sure I'd suggest there… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

My mother-in-law decided any help she offers will be in the form of taking my breastfed infant out of state for a month until I can have other arrangements in place. Unless you are desperate and need to do this for those reasons, this is… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

She and I agree re. what behaviors should mean a time out or a loss of privileges, and we're both the bad cop with those. I just don't think real yelling from adults should be part of discipline or part of family life. You are correct… [more]
favorited 34 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

It seems like you've explored options. It's unclear from your question if this is happening at one house or at multiple houses? My suggestion is based on one house. If this were my family member I would consider spending the $20-30/mo that cable… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

If you live somewhere where this is okay, a simple window feeder is a great way to figure out what's nearby you and get to see birds up close. Or even have a few feeders, depending on what your house is like. I live in a second floor apartment and I… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

With kindness, I think you may have buried the lede where you were in another controlling abusive relationship before this one, and that there is a child involved. It can be hard to break the cycle of being with people who are wrong for you but… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I turned off the notifications. I had a phone for a long time with a terrible battery so I didn't use it for things that drained it (i.e. facebook). I have a routine where I get up in the morning and do something, anything, for 45 minutes that… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

in which I learned the term "ethnography" from Jessamyn. I am a wizard! I did not comment in that thread! [more]
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MetaTalk comment - 2 months ago

have a 'post when permitted' button that allows you to submit the post, but actually posts it to the front page at the 24 hr point. Better: have a "post when permitted" button that actually posts to the front page at the 25 hour… [more]
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MetaTalk comment - 2 months ago

When I need to do this, I'm usually at the SIBL branch of NYPL. Comfy chairs, cubbies for working, good internet. OK for everything but teleconferences (imo). [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Alan Mendelson, The Boy from Mars by Daniel Pinkwater. That book is amazing but it is not this book. [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

my current kitchen has NO stove hood filter/fan whatsoever. None. Ditto. And where to start with the wrong weirdness of this kitchen? - I have over a gallon of maple syrup in the fridge in four different containers because they are… [more]
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MetaTalk comment - 2 months ago

Just FYI but you could get a refurbed Mac laptop for just a little more than that. That said a refurbed Dell would be half that and a lower end laptop would be under $200. So it might be worth adjusting your search from "$999 laptop that last… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Have you experienced this, do you know where it comes from, and how do you change it? This is how I am. People are often surprised to know that I have a great deal of ... it's not anxiety or awkwardness so much as an "I have no… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

The first thing I think of here is BATHTUB (I mean, if you have one). What I would be doing is loading up on goo and weird smelling stuff and - making sure my bathroom was clean - lighting candles and maybe some incense - having clean towels… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

FWIW, there are also some piratical sites that specialize in academic content and have an eclectic collection of journals. SciHub. So much of this is relative to where you live. I had a whole answer set up and then saw you are in… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Was just coming here to say, I was at Funspot on Monday and they played a lot of Wham! It's also a good time for some 80s metal if you can stand stuff like Steppenwolf/Born to be Wild or Motorhead's "Please Don't Touch" [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Friend was present as the whole scene unfolded and we both realized the flowers would harm the cat; the cat would have to go to the ER. The only scenario I can see where this is friend's responsibility is if friend brought the flowers… [more]
favorited 37 times
Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

It's fighting with itself. Can you soap up the window just for a day (on the outside) so it basically can't see its reflection? Just drag a bar of soap around it in irregular zigzags. Will come off with a hose or in the next rainstorm. [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

My 40s have been pretty great compared to other decades. I feel like I know who I am in a lot of ways and so can have more certainty in the things that I am doing. Doesn't mean I always do the sensible or "correct" thing but I have a better… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

I travel with a white noise machine usually, though I use the one on my phone as a backup. This is one I've been looking at but not yet gone all-in and purchased yet. I'm lucky enough to be able to sleep with earplugs and it does seem like you might… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

First an answer to your stated question: the crazy cat lady danger zone is above N+1. That is, when you have one more cat than people that is enough cats usually. This doesn't mean it's wrong or a problem but just... that is the fact. Three cats for… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

If you make and submit your own, you're stuck with it. Still mad! [more]
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MetaTalk comment - 3 months ago

The two things that seem at issue here are the "I can't control this" aspects of your personalities. For you the crying and for her the shutting down/blackout rage stuff. These conflict. If it's true that both of you can't control these… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Surely you can see how this would be morally wrong? I disagree with your metaphor and your description of my comment as "overreacting" and won't be engaging with you on this topic further. [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

letting somebody live in a state of denial about the health risks is not helpful either - it's just a form of enabling. Assuming that if you have one data point about someone you can tell how healthy they are is likewise a form of false… [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

I would need to see a photo of Tiny Dictator to be certain of the answer to this question. [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

I have a prescription for 25mg of Zoloft (which would be increased, obviously) and I'm probably going to fill it this week. I'm not at all uncomfortable with meds, I'm just worried that maybe my anxiety "isn't bad enough". Maybe I'm… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

There are two AskMe threads that I think are good intros to this topic - Cutting Costs without Feeling the Pinch - What Else Can I Stop Doing Both of these have a lot of people giving advice from the practical "quit paying for cable and… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

it'll probably be at least 2 years before the divorce is finalized due to logistical reasons (financial complications). This sounds murky and weird. I am a divorced person and I am dating someone who was in a complicated relationship… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

He also doesn't think there's anything I can do to make it up to him. He sounds like he's someone managing his stress poorly. You guys had a miscommunication (both of you, not just you, both of you). You shouldn't have to cancel going to… [more]
favorited 43 times
Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Great friends are people who - remember your preferences for food/drink stuff and always make your coffee the way you like it - send you little fun stuff in the mail for no reason - remember things that are going on in your life and ask you… [more]
favorited 112 times
Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Will she still be around? Absolutely. I'll write up a longer personal thing a bit later but this is literally just "I am moving on in my professional life." MetaFilter remains my online home.... MetaTalk comment - favorited 496 times… [more]
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MetaTalk comment - 3 months ago

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