(Grumblebee- I like that I can know which answers are yours before I see your name at the bottom. I agree completely about completeness.)

One of the things that I realised is that the general things people like about their partners ("she's smart, she's funny...") aren't all that general at all. There are lots of smart people. There are lots of funny people. What makes it tricky is that there are all different ways of being smart, and all different ways of... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 9:27 PM on July 4, 2008

I've been in a similar situation. For me, what made it easier (note: still not easy) was realising that although my way of loving her involved lots of contact, sending her things, etc., her way of loving me was different. It wasn't because she didn't want to talk, it wasn't because she didn't want me in her life. It's hard because you (and I) can't imagine loving someone without wanting that contact, but you can either trust that he does love you (and simply not in exactly the same way you... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 9:47 PM on July 3, 2008

I did a first year astronomy course a few years ago, and the thing that struck me was the existence of pulsars, or neutron stars. Planets that are 30km across yet weigh more than the sun. More than the sun! I think the example was that a teaspoon on material from a pulsar would weigh as much as the earth.

That's just insane.

(It's been a while, I could just be imagining those numbers)
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 4:18 PM on July 3, 2008

(slight derail- NekulturnY, plenty of cellar doors I've visited open bottles for tasting and just cork them at the end of the day and serve them the next day without a problem. Some do use fancy vacuum devices, but many seem to get by fine without. There's some oxidation, but I don't think the wine will be 'killed' by one day in a bottle that was opened and then corked)
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 3:17 AM on July 1, 2008

Do you need to be making money with your writing to consider yourself a writer? Does it need to be your job to be creative?

It seems like you wont be able to easily jump into a creative field while retaining all the comforts of your current salary. Which one is worth more to you? Perhaps you could work out some arrangement with your job where you take a pay cut for reduced hours, or regular unpaid leave, or something that would let you have more time to do what you enjoy.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 11:57 PM on June 29, 2008

I'm sure a 'normal' sibling relationship is just as varied as a 'normal' family, whatever that is.

As for building a stronger relationship, it wont happen until she wants it to as well. You can either try to bring her to that point or you can wait until she's there without your influence. Maybe your mother can help things along- if you mention it to her, she might try to subtly sound out your sister on what she thinks about the situation.

Good luck.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 11:53 PM on June 29, 2008

I've done a bit of bar work along the way. It's much more enjoyable if you can mentally distance yourself from stressful situations. If there is a crowd five deep at the bar and you're out of glasses and someone says 'Peroni' but you heard 'Corona' and you're all out of vodka... it helps to be able to not get too stressed about it. Just do your work, deal with it all, and not let it get to you. There are moments when it will be very full on with lots of demands on you that are actually... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 11:50 PM on June 25, 2008

Andy Goldsworthy, who was linked above, makes a whole range of natural sculptures like this. I read a book of his once and he described the method for making a rock arch. In the beginning stages, he uses other rocks as support for the arch. Apparently it took him several tries before the arch stood when the support was removed.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 6:16 AM on June 25, 2008

Some of Duke Ellington's more laid back pieces do this for me. Black Beauty, especially.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 6:11 AM on June 25, 2008

I'd buy him a six pack of delicious micro-brewed organic beer. He gets beer, you get to buy organic. I don't know American beers as well, but there are plenty of little breweries in Australia that would fit the bill. Just a tic...

This site has a list of 'Top American Microbrews', and you can search around there for somerhing organic; this one describes a few organic micro-brews; and if you still need convincing, this one discusses the health benefits of organic beer.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 8:47 PM on June 24, 2008 marked best answer

(Those are all US sites, by the way, so you should be able to find them somewhere)
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 8:48 PM on June 24, 2008

Don't set up camp in a depression or valley. Dig a small trench around your tent if it looks like rain. Bring those tinned chocolate puddings that only need to be boiled... they'd be vile elsewhere, but taste divine when you're out in the wilderness. Cook sausages over the fire, not in a pan. Bring more water than you need. Secretly carry some sort of luxury (chocolate, fresh fruit etc.) and spring it on people when they're halfway through a long hike.

Fun times.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 3:16 AM on June 24, 2008

At 22, I was in a relationship with someone four years older. I certainly didn't want to get married with any urgency (and I'm pretty sure she didn't either), but what would have been more worrying for me was if she had wanted something and either hadn't told me about it or was making decisions designed to influence me toward that goal without 'scaring me off'.

If you want to be married in two years, surely it'd be best to be married to someone... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 6:33 PM on June 23, 2008

Thanks everyone. I'll have one round of team logos/photos/faces, one of contruction using spaghetti, a mona lisa sketch, an orange peeling round, and one of clothing bingo. Cheers!
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 5:28 PM on June 23, 2008

Asking for scientific thinking on identity (gender identity? You didn't specify that in your question) is different to saying "People are different. What do you think?".

But, as for your question, I think disillusioned gave a pretty reasonable answer. I did some philosphy a few years ago and the consensus was that free will can't be observed at any level. There are some sub-atomic 'random' events, but those (AFAIK) aren't known in sufficient detail to say... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 3:18 AM on June 23, 2008

When I was learning to play the drums, I had a series of rudimentary exercises that just involved keeping straight time, then adding various layers of complexity (half notes, off beats, triplets, semiquavers, etc). Perhaps she could listen to some music that is similar to what you might play in a jam session, and at first just try to keep the beat (one, two, three, four) with a tambourine. Then she could try more challenging rhythms (One, two and three, four and one; one, and three, one, and... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 1:24 AM on June 23, 2008

One of my favourites was :

An Irish Proverb:
See a penny,
pick it up,
and all day long
you'll have a penny.


The same fellow now goes into babelfish, translates 'My slippery goose won asparagus chess!' (or something similarly odd) into some language, then writes that on the card with the comment 'An ancient Greek proverb'.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 3:54 PM on June 19, 2008

What wondrous life is this I lead!

Ripe apples drop about my head;
The luscious clusters of the vine
Upon my mouth do crush their wine;
The nectarine and curious peace
Into my hand themselves do reach;
Sumbling on melons, as I pass,
Insnared with flowers, I fall on grass.

Andrew Marvell.

(not so much about cycling, but it works for me)
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 1:18 AM on June 19, 2008

For me it's the feeling that you're a team, that whatever the world brings you can face it together. It's what a business wants when they say 'we have a great team', but what they very rarely get: people who are genuinely invested in the collective benefit, who aren't just working with each other to serve their own long term goals.

For me it's the moment when I realised I honestly did just want her to be happy, regardless of how it affected me.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 11:13 PM on June 18, 2008

I just went to a final job interview with BP in Australia for a geology position, and there was no mention of a credit check. I've been to several other interviews here and never heard of one though, so perhaps it's an American thing.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 3:51 PM on June 16, 2008

3rding Cinque Terre. Beautiful, beautiful scenery. Lovely people, nice food. Vineyards everywhere.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 10:59 PM on June 15, 2008

It sounds like this will be your first time doing some serious travelling.

I'd recommend starting in SE Asia, because you'll find it a comparatively comfortable place to get used to. Thailand especially offers fun things to do but without a great deal of cultural shock and language difficulties. When you get your feet in there, you can move elsewhere around Asia (Indonesia, Cambodia, Laos, Phillipines, Burma (?), and then move towards the subcontinent- India, Nepal,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 5:23 PM on June 14, 2008

I did a skydiving course a few years ago and went through a cloud at one point. The wetness others have described is bang on, and the only thing I'll add is that there's a very sudden chill associated with it.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 5:52 PM on June 13, 2008

On the price of gas issue (though this applies to other aspects of your question), you can't take the price movement now and apply it as a constant to the next ~500 years. If you look back at oil prices, there was never a period with anything close to that long of steady prices or steady rises. Things that vary greatly over years and decades (like oil prices) are infinitely tough to predict over centuries. Things that vary over centuries and millenia (global warming, sea level rise) make for... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 4:40 PM on June 12, 2008

I'm 23, and I'd be dumbstruck if I found out that any of my friends carried knives (or guns, but they're illegal here in Australia). I doubt any of my friends shoplift, and they certainly wouldn't steal from someone's house. None of my friends really smoke.

On the other hand, we've sneaked flasks and bottles into movies and university and we've drunk in cars and all that.

I think the general answer here will be 'people are different'. I... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 6:53 PM on June 11, 2008

Is it sunny where you are at the moment? If you're willing to put your body on the line, you can make a paper stencil and go sunbaking for a day. You'll have a nice little red design with whatever you like on it, which is a fairly literal take of 'made an impression on me'.

Note: skin cancer risk comes free with this idea!
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 4:49 PM on June 11, 2008

I'll second that. Over time he'll (hopefully) move on, as you have from your fella. In order to help him on his way, you need to never give him any sign that you might be thinking about him in a romantic way. Just a whiff of that equates to several months more of him longing for you.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 6:21 AM on June 6, 2008

I'll second skydiving.

And, though this is harder to do regularly, every year at the Adelaide Fringe Festival I have exactly the experience you describe. A few years back I found an old leather arm chair, had an artist friend paint a mural on the back, then took apart a shopping trolley and attached the wheels to the chair. I call it Slickety Jim, and every year at the fringe I dress up in orange overalls, a blue bus driver's shirt and white suspenders, and I give... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 6:40 PM on June 5, 2008

Following on from DC's comment- in one relationship, her going on the pill resulted in a drop in sex drive as well as moments when she just didn't want to be touched at all.

On another note, you mention that she attributes the weekend meetings to 'one of the reasons we had sex so frequently'. I know that the notion of 'normal' is pretty fluid, but to me 2-3 times a week for young 20-somethings is less frequently than normal. If she considered that to be 'so frequent',... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 4:04 AM on June 5, 2008

Fletcher Henderson was making music in the early teens and twenties, and he's definitely got some fun tunes. Sidney Bechet is also good quality, but he's a little later. He has some stuff from the 20s, 30s and 40s.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 9:38 PM on June 4, 2008

Wow. This thread has enough to keep you going for a decade.

One thing that I've learned along the way is that it's perfectly fine to not like something. I didn't get into Dizzy Gillespie at first, but have softened up a little now. I loved Louis Armstrong from the first song I heard, but don't listen to him all that much any more.

It might help to think about what it is in particular that you like. Is it fast paced big band swing? Is it... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 11:31 PM on June 2, 2008

There are a few nice muscats down in may part of the world (South Australia), but most are small boutique wineries that wouldn't have much of a showing overseas. Can you go back to the winery you tried the nice one at? Ask them for recommendations? In my experience, the winemakers all know who's doing similar things, and would be happy to help you find something you like.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 12:01 AM on June 2, 2008

A warning: I should have gone ot bed a while ago, but here I am, perusing metafilter. yes, I'm dtrunk.

I was once exteremyl jealous. LDR, lots of complications, other people, etc. It wasn't a fun time for me. I went camping by myself for a weekend and at one point as standing on a cliff above the ocean with huge eaves and huge winds buffeting me. I stood there with the world before me, churning and powerful tand glorious, and I realised that my pathetic human... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 7:23 AM on May 31, 2008

The next step, scientifically, would be to record what happens at every restaurant you eat at to see how often it is. Make sure you check with your companions even when yours is not magnetized. When yours is and theirs is not, try your hand with theirs to see if it is you, or simply your cutlery. Keep a record of every meal, put it in a spreadsheet.

Discard any data that doesn't support your case, and then you're a proven Magneto Warrior.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 5:28 PM on May 28, 2008

Cannonball Adderley's album titled, funnily enough, Bossa Nova, is brilliant. Definitely worth a look in if you want to get more into the genre.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 3:54 PM on May 28, 2008

A possible flaw with 'wait and see what happens' is that months and years will go by without anything happening. They'll have a rocky period, they'll get over it, they'll go on, and you'll still be there waiting for her to break up with him. And in the meantime, you probably wont be able to have a genuine relationship with anyone else because clearly this woman is at the forefront of your mind.

I think that at some point (perhaps at this dinner, depending on what... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 4:09 PM on May 27, 2008

I'm a little surprised by the judgements as well. I had some wine stashed in the fire hose cupboard when I was an undergrad (now that I'm a post grad, I just keep a bottle of port on the desk). It was great for those isolated afternoons when I needed to work for a few hours- a glass of wine would keep me happily at the desk.

As for the practicalities of your situation, how about buying a six pack of those little (~375mL) bottles of tonic water? They just sell them at... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 4:32 AM on May 27, 2008

I sit in on lectures (or used to, when I had time) at my university all the time. There is never a roll call or anything for lectures, and in most subjects there are enough people that you wont be an obvious outsider. In one subject, I even approached the lecturer and asked if I could attend the weekly seminar (about 6 students for two hours), and she was delighted.

I imagine you'd be able to do this at most major universities. If you can get your hands on a course... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 11:14 PM on May 26, 2008

Another vote for 'Sings the Blues'.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 5:16 PM on May 24, 2008

I go with reuseable tupperware, and fill it with some bread, a tomato, a cucumber, a hunk of cheese and some sliced meat. Throw it all together and you've got a pretty basic but still tasty sandwich.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 5:14 PM on May 24, 2008

The advice above sounds great. When I lost the key to my bike, which was parked on one of the busiest intersections in town, I stole it without a problem. I caught a bus into town with a hacksaw, walked up to my bike, and just started sawing away. Not a single person stopped me, or even questioned me about it.

So yeah, maybe clear it with security first, but don't be surprised if the average passerby doesn't care.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 4:27 PM on May 23, 2008

Don't try to deal with the beaurocrats. I had university nightmares last year and every official person I talked to said it was impossible, no way it can be done, I just have to suck it up and deal with it (delaying graduation for a year, in my case).

In the end, I spoke with people in my department and they sorted it out. Do it ASAP, talk to whoever you can (is there anyone you're close to, any one you know well?), and just lay it out in human terms. It's ridiculous... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 10:35 PM on May 16, 2008

Looking online can be helpful, but for me it would be a hinderance because I might see a photo of a painting online, think 'I don't like that', and never seek out what might be an amazing painting if seen in the flesh.

I never liked the impressionists (Monet, Manet, etc) or Picasso before I saw any of them in a gallery. Photos just cannot do them justice. So look around online, and if you see something that makes you want to look for more stuff like it, that's... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 7:11 PM on May 13, 2008

I did this for about a week through Craigslist, and it was great. Having our own place, our own kitchen, was fantastic. Cheaper than any other options too. Go for it- you should be able to avoid the clearly dodgy places.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 1:47 PM on May 5, 2008 marked best answer

Firstly, if you're $300 a week worse off, and expect to be getting less than $200 a week extra, then taking the job just for the money seems a bit backward.

But:

"In order to fulfill my new role, I have incurred significant expenses due to purchasing a car and moving to a more expensive neighbourhood. The position also carries more responsibility than my previous job, and I believe this should be reflected in the salary."

Etc etc.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 1:01 AM on May 5, 2008

This is the first result for "best paper plane" in Google. It's quite simple to build and flies brilliantly. It's very loopy and spinny, but if you play with the tail you can get it to glide a bit more. It'd definitely be fun to see it launched from a kite.

(As an aside- how are you releasing it?)
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 6:43 PM on May 4, 2008 marked best answer

You said you're not much of a theater person- do you mean the song and dance Phantom of the Opera kind of theater, or stage plays? If you've got nothing against the latter, Shakespeare's Globe (near the Tate Modern, which you should go to if you haven't yet) puts on his plays and you can stand with the crowd for 5 pounds. When I was last there, I saw The Merchant of Venice and at the end the crowd of (mostly young) people cheered and clapped like it was the end of a rock... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 5:27 PM on May 2, 2008

I got the same book for my little brother's 10th birthday, and then a pocket knife for Christmas. He loved them both. The next gift on my list is a balsa wood airplane kit.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 4:22 PM on May 1, 2008

When I asked my professor for a reference, he said "I find it so hard to keep track of undergrads. Just write it yourself, and I'll sign it". I think they're pretty used to it, and I doubt they'd refuse just because you weren't the life of every party.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 10:54 PM on April 30, 2008

The same reason some companies pay people to hand out thousands of flyers in the street. Even though the vast majority are discarded within seconds, the few that remain will then result in some fraction of those people actually going to that business. If that tiny amount of people contributes more money than the cost of the flyering, then hey! It's profitable!
posted to Ask Metafilter by twirlypen at 10:43 PM on April 30, 2008