Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
--Abraham Lincoln

Once I started following this advice, my sarcastic reputation seemed to wane. I decided that instead of making what I thought was a light-hearted, jokey comment about everything, I would just bite my tongue and say nothing, or purposely say something that to my ears sounded falsely sincere.

Those comments that... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 8:15 AM on August 14, 2008 marked best answer

Visual Basic. You don't need to access dlls for this.
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 8:45 AM on August 13, 2008

i_love_squirrels, I did the same thing in 2nd grade! I believe it was between 2nd and 4th grades that we learned all 50 state songs. I can still sing some of them today.

Daily singing was definitely the highlight of elementary school. Also spelling bees, but I was a good speller, so it was a chance for me to show off.

My daughter played a game in the library with her 2nd grade class that they called "library baseball." Two teams, a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 11:04 AM on August 12, 2008

I'm watching men's volleyball right now, and the announcers just talked about this. There are professional volleyball leagues all over the world. Currently the most lucrative league is in Russia. A player will spend about 6 months with his national team (May-November) participating in world competitions. Then he will spend the next 6 months with his club (pro) team.

Most of the softball players play in the National Pro Fastpitch league in the summer, and coach, teach or... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 10:02 AM on August 12, 2008

I once bought a music box for a baby gift. It had a charming tune, and his parents would play it for him as he fell asleep. Now the baby is 15, and the music box sits on his "treasure" shelf in his bedroom.
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 9:53 AM on August 12, 2008

but I do think that having been depressed once is a risk factor for being depressed again in the future

This is true, according to this list of risk factors for depression, from the Mayo Clinic. If a therapist suspects depression, one of the first questions they will ask is about any depressive episodes you've experienced in the past.

iamkimiam's chair metaphor is actually a pretty good one. :-) It's a bit easier to work on... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 9:43 AM on August 12, 2008

You could do the boring paperwork for a charity - things like stuffing envelopes for mailings or stuffing give-away bags with fliers and whatnot is enormously helpful. I've done this both on-site at the charity, and I've taken all the materials with me and done it at home. The latter might fit your schedule better. A couple dozen here and there during the day, and soon you've stuffed several hundred envelopes, which can be a big help to a charity that doesn't really have a lot of support staff.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 9:33 AM on August 12, 2008

Two poop-related ideas: a dog-poop pickup service, and a goose-poop pickup service. For the former, you would go to client's houses and clean up their yards. For the latter, your clients would be golf courses, park districts, condo complexes, office complexes - any place with a large expanse of grass and a goose population.

Another idea, and I know of someone who does this, although I don't know how financially successful they are - a service that gets drunk people and... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 9:49 AM on August 10, 2008

But have you ever been performing and had your name yelled (or even just a general "go!" that was directed toward you) and felt a surge? Or distraction?

Always a surge, never a distraction, from childhood where people who knew me would yell my name, to a few years ago when I did a triathlon, and our names where printed large enough on our race numbers for the crowd to read. It's a totally awesome feeling to have someone cheer for YOU, not... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 9:05 AM on August 10, 2008

I transport rescued animals to a variety of vet offices for their initial vetting before going to a foster home, so I've interacted with many different vets in many different settings. Beyond a doubt, the ones I look forward to visiting again are the ones who treat the often dirty, smelly, matted, frightened rescue with as much dignity and affection as they would a valuable pedigreed show dog.
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 8:49 AM on August 10, 2008

As noted above, to be absolutely positively sure the employee does not sabotage things after hearing of their layoff, they have to leave immediately.

But think also of the morale of those left behind. If I see someone being escorted out, I know that:

A) that's going to be my embarrassing and undignified fate too if/when I'm laid off;

B) someone (me?) is going to have to do a lot of wheel-reinventing because that... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 2:05 PM on August 8, 2008

I think my naps feel better because the feel of sunlight streaming through the windows and the sounds of the rest of the world going about their day makes me feel a little like I'm getting away with something, or that I'm hiding out in my own little cozy nest. I don't get that same feeling at night.

If this sounds like it might be true for you, try to replicate day-like conditions at night. I'd start with one of those light therapy lamps for SAD, and see if just the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 9:36 AM on August 8, 2008

My new dishwasher has a water jet that shoots from the back side as well as the top and bottom! Amazing! Now I can put big mixing bowls and pots in there facing backwards, and they get clean and also don't block the water from getting to everything on the top rack.
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 2:01 PM on August 6, 2008

Why, then, would a smart, passionate, compassionate, loving man throw this away without any reason other than wanting to be alone?

You make "wanting to be alone" sound like a disease or some kind of psychiatric problem. Maybe he just really wants to be alone!

I've been in your situation. I had to break off even friendly contact because it hurt to much to act like "friends" when I really wanted more. My... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 9:30 AM on August 5, 2008

He is doing what he feels is best for himself. Now you do what feels best for you. Listen to languagehat. (And girls can be dumb that way too...)
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 11:11 AM on August 5, 2008

Bad Reputation - Joan Jett
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 10:59 AM on August 5, 2008

I realize I'm not answering the questions asked, but since you seem to have found those answers, I'll offer another thing to try.

My husband uses a product called Critter Ridder around his garden in an ongoing attempt to keep our dogs from nosing around there. I hesitate to actually recommend this product specifically (His comment on its effectiveness: "Eh"), but you may find it (or its ilk) is worth a shot to keep your pup from ingesting too many pits at once.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 7:09 PM on August 4, 2008

Re: the shop vac - If it's a wet/dry vac, be sure to use the appropriate setting. You will probably be vacuuming up rotting cherries as well as pits, and rotten fruit stinks. You could ruin your vac. I know this because I once used our shop vac on the wrong setting, on something wet and stinky, and several years later, there is still a residual stink every time the shop vac is used.
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 8:14 PM on August 4, 2008

I worked in the on-campus catering department and was able to take extra food home. This generally saved me some money, but was not a steady stream of reliable, nutritious food. Some days I just had a basket of leftover dinner rolls, other days some fruit or extra dessert. Very hit or miss, but it got me through a couple of summers with no meal service.
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 8:07 PM on August 3, 2008

Hose reel?
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 8:04 PM on August 3, 2008

Or maybe get on a softball team.

::mind boggles::

Wow, what an incredibly uninformed answer!

Besides, softball and baseball will no longer be Olympic sports after Beijing.
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 2:22 PM on August 3, 2008

Trying on different identities to see what fits and what doesn't is what you're supposed to do at this age. I think just reminding him (in your words and actions) that you are always in his corner regardless of his clothing, flamboyant actions, or ways of dealing with bullying is about all you can and should do.

About the only thing I would be watchful for is a serious change in attitude that might show he has resorted to unhealthy ways of dealing with these things.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 2:14 PM on August 3, 2008

Maybe our deep primal biological natures know that fingernails can be a useful weapon in a fight. In the one self-defense class I ever took, we were told to use anything at our disposal to distract an attacker, including scratching at his/her eyes with our nails.
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 9:32 AM on August 3, 2008

Thoroughly clean any carpets, rugs, towels, fabric-covered furniture, possibly your clothing, or any other flea-inviting surfaces that the kitties come in contact with, or you'll just be dealing with this again in a few weeks after more flea eggs hatch. :(

Also, stinky farts and runny poos can be a symptom of worms. Take them (and mama) to a rescue-friendly vet.
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 7:52 AM on August 3, 2008

Can you get her to go on a get-away weekend or short trip to some place calming and relaxing? All the better if you can join her, but even if she can just get out of that toxic environment by herself for a few days. It might help clear her head enough for you to be able to convince her to do something.
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 7:28 AM on August 3, 2008

Are you not sold on taekwondo, or just the particular schools/programs that your son's friends are in? There is a huge variety in martial arts schools, from the style of martial art they teach to their quality.

I can only speak to taekwondo (my daughter earned a black belt). I would look for a school affiliated with the American Taekwondo Association. I can't speak highly enough of this organization.
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 5:20 PM on August 1, 2008

having personally invested a year or so my life into Tae Kwon Do when I was younger, I wouldn't recommend it. Tae Kwon Do is more of a sport than a martial art.

Sorry - a year is completely insufficient time to develop an accurate picture of what a martial art is or isn't.

KTrujillo, check with your local park district. They may have an arrangement with a local studio where your son can take classes for 6-8 weeks at a lower... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 6:52 PM on August 1, 2008

The Harold Washington library on Congress is a fabulously quiet, yet busy, place. (The librarians walk around and look for sleepyheads to wake up.) I like that there are people around me, but I don't have to interact with them, and most of the time it is quiet.

Also, the new(er) DePaul building on Jackson west of Wabash has plenty of nooks and crannies where one can hang out. They used to have an open-air seating area on the top floor, but I'm not sure if that's still there.
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 12:54 PM on August 1, 2008

HuronBob has a point, depending on how big your balcony is. I have an older Pomeranian who was raised on puppy pads and when he came to live with me, he still used them. Apparently bad aim is a universal boy trait, whether you are dog or human. I would hate to be your downstairs neighbor on a day when your dog decided that the only acceptable pee place on the balcony was close to the edge.
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 9:36 AM on July 31, 2008

helped you? -- let me participate in the things I liked, and not participate in the things I didn't like

hurt you? -- didn't try to get me into gifted classes when it was obvious my behavior problems were due to boredom

What are you currently or planning on doing for your kids? -- I have a 12-year-old daughter. (Her situation is different, though, as we've been in the same... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 9:21 AM on July 31, 2008

"Dreamland" by Mary Chapin Carpenter. A book and a beautiful song.
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 9:21 AM on July 29, 2008

You can always prepare a written test of some kind - I've given and taken many of these in the course of interviewing. That way you can concentrate on the people skills and your gut feelings during the interview itself, and you can review his technical competence on your own time, maybe with a reference manual nearby.

And be careful that you don't let your anxiety about an age gap manifest itself with an inappropriate (or possibly illegal) question... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 2:13 PM on July 28, 2008

Hershey's Chocolate Sticks

Non-edible solution - lollipop sticks
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 9:40 AM on July 27, 2008

Check Wilton for all things candy-making related.
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 5:41 PM on July 27, 2008

From The Mutt Book, here are suggestions based on what I see in your dog:

Ears - high set, prick style - suggested breed: Australian Cattle Dog, Shiba Inu

Head shape - hmm, could be fox-like, blocky, or wedge-shaped. Fox-like breeds include shiba inu. Blocky breeds include Staffies, Rhodesian Ridgebacks, Rotties. (All of those have different ears though). Wedge-shaped include Aussie shepherd (again, different ears)

Body... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 9:32 AM on July 27, 2008 marked best answer

Where I can, in my own small way, I choose not to give do business with people who might use their money to fund organizations whose agendas I do not agree with. Therefore, as an eBay buyer, I would be grateful if someone pointed out a seller where this might be the situation.
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 9:00 AM on July 27, 2008 marked best answer

anon, I went through the same thought process as you, only after I was married, and spent a lot of time considering divorcing my husband, who I thought really must be the Aspergeriest Aspie who ever lived. So, it's good that you are thinking things through before you commit to a marriage.

That said, if you had never heard of Asperger's, would the personality traits of your boyfriend still be a concern? As I said, I went through the same thing as you, but only after I had... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 8:40 AM on July 27, 2008

a) Yes, if it's something that I will need to get fixed at some point.

b) You can get it towed to your residence, and then have it towed to a garage later, once you've made arrangements. Or you can tow it directly to a garage that you've called. Or the tow truck is from a garage and will tow you there, or they have a deal with a certain garage and will encourage you to have it towed there.

You probably want to keep at least a few phone numbers of... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 12:01 PM on July 26, 2008

Janet Evanovich
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 5:33 PM on July 25, 2008

People like John Wayne Gacy and Jeffrey Dahmer didn't do what they did to become famous, but everybody knew who they were, and knew intimate details about their lives. I guess that fits the idea of celebrity in a weird way.
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 3:11 PM on July 25, 2008

Do you have a bike? Find a spot on a map, figure out a bike-friendly route, pack a lunch and a book, and go. Better if you need to train a little in order to make it all the way.
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 11:37 AM on July 25, 2008

Grilled pineapple slices get so sweet and carmelly that it's almost sinful.
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 7:23 AM on July 25, 2008 marked best answer

The National Elk Refuge outside of Jackson is really great. There is a small museum, and then they take you out into (on to?) the refuge. We saw lots of wildlife, including bald eagles.

And Jackson itself is a pretty cool - check out the town square with arches made of antlers.
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 8:34 AM on July 23, 2008

Another in the theme: Joan Jett's Evil Stig is a live project featuring herself and members of The Gits. I believe the original show was played in support of fund-raising efforts of a group formed to keep Mia Zapata's murder in the public eye (and hopefully find her killer).

And in a complete change of format, Terri Clark's Everytime I Cry is about repeatedly taking back a boyfriend/girlfriend. But she received so much feedback on it as being representative of an abusive... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 8:28 AM on July 23, 2008

My husband was in a similar situation and took a short-term refresher course for the PE. Is that an option for you? Maybe check with the licensing bureau of your state and see if they have any recommendations on something similar?
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 8:07 AM on July 23, 2008

You could transition into grooming. Ask your regular customers where they get their pets groomed, and ask there about helping out. Your cage-cleaning experience (and apparent willingness to do the dirty work, so to speak) will be helpful to a groomer, and eventually you could transition into being a groomer yourself. The groomer where I take my dog works many hours and doesn't charge exorbitant fees, but she must do well enough to pay two assistants and the rent on a storefront in a very nice... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 8:03 AM on July 23, 2008

Navajo Code Talkers
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 5:10 PM on July 22, 2008

The man who follows the crowd will usually go no farther than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been before.
--Albert Einstein

I'll not listen to reason. . . Reason always means what someone else has got to say.
--Elizabeth Cleghorn Gaskell

To be nobody but yourself in a world that is doing its best day and night into making you like everybody else is to fight the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 8:32 AM on July 22, 2008 marked best answer

I let my mother and my in-laws come to the hospital (as if I could have prevented them from coming anyway - not), but I informed anyone within earshot - husband, nurses, doctors, other moms laboring, receptionist - that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES was anyone except my husband and medical professionals allowed to have a view of my baby-delivering parts. Be firm about this when you arrive that day. Make sure your partner is aware of your wishes, and hope that he or she enforces them.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 8:13 AM on July 22, 2008

I hung a clear vinyl shoe organizer on the back of my basement door, and that is where I keep all my "thingies", like extra water bottles, batteries, my label maker, small tools, etc. - all the small important things one needs and can never find.

I have a lot of carabiners in various sizes. I use one for hooking my keys to my purse strap or belt loop.

Hooks on the back of my bedroom door - look kind of cheesy, but at least now I hang my... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by SuperSquirrel at 7:04 AM on July 19, 2008