My gift to myself is always the same.

A hand job.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 10:48 AM on July 25, 2008

The Scagnettis are brothers, like the Vegas. But, yeah, they all do sort of exist in the same universe, and he recycles characters at will. I think the real secret to Tarantino's recent films is his longstanding film nerd love affair with actor Michael Parks.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 8:29 AM on July 25, 2008

I'd have gotten the breast surgery.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 12:30 PM on July 24, 2008

His work with Russ Meyers was the best work he ever did.

But they've replaced Siskel and Ebert with such a dunce that it has made me miss Siskel and Ebert all over again.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 11:22 AM on July 24, 2008

It's a little known fact about Batman, but this is exactly why he took Robin on as his ward. Before he changed it to Dick Grayson, the poor boy was named Whizbang Poopmellowson.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 9:00 AM on July 24, 2008

I've often thought that, regardless of gender, I would name my child Tarzan Roachclip. Think about it -- in grade school, they could go by Tarzan, and be the most popular kid in school, and then, when they get to Jr. High, they switch to their middle name, and BOOM, popular all the way through high school.

This made a lot more sense in the Seventies.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 9:43 AM on July 24, 2008

I would love it if more political debates involved rap war-style chest beating. That's what was missing from the Bush/Kerry debates.

Bush: This is why I'm hot, this is why I'm hot. I'm hot cause I'm fly. You ain't cause you not.

Kerry: I am, whatever you say I am/If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?/In the paper, the news, every day I am/I don't know, it's just the way I am.

Bush: I'm a pimp in every sense of the word,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 9:54 PM on July 23, 2008

Also, they don't distinguish between Yiddish you use because it's Yiddish you use, and Yiddish you use because you are making fun of old Jews.

Schmuck is in the former.

Feh! It's a shandeh to the goyyim! Is in the latter.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 9:24 PM on July 23, 2008

All right, but there is no way to use shikker iz a goy unironically if you've known as many drunken Jews I have known and been.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 9:47 PM on July 23, 2008

So, what I got from this is a better understanding of why Asians do better at school.

It's because they're Jewish.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 9:41 PM on July 23, 2008

Steampubk has gotten to be so despised that I am convinced it will last as long as punk, if not longer.
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 2:16 PM on July 23, 2008

I always thought Creempunk was better than Rollingstonepunk.
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 2:25 PM on July 23, 2008

I will say this: If Wired declared you "tired" five years ago, you were "expired" eight years ago.
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 4:44 PM on July 23, 2008

This is why I am a Mefite.
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 11:14 AM on July 23, 2008

I'm on the fence about the bar being a fence.
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 1:56 PM on July 23, 2008

I would not have seen the comments were it not for this call out, and I think they are the sort of thing that people are going to want to read. I am also in favor of the sidebar.
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 4:24 PM on July 23, 2008

The baby can't handle this much Internet!
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 4:22 PM on July 23, 2008

This melted my brain banana. Now I am crazy.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 3:05 PM on July 23, 2008

There's no emoticon for what I'm feeling!
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 11:50 AM on July 23, 2008

I don't think fighting in WWII should be described as "doing service to the Jews," since it did absolutely nothing to prevent six million of them from getting killed. And, anyway, even if all he did was blow up train lines to concentration camps and lead hunted gangs of Jewish teenagers across the border to safety, it doesn't give him a free pass for claiming that Jews control the media.

Anyway, whatever animosity he felt toward Jews doesn't seem to have... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 8:39 AM on July 23, 2008

If I didn't read books written by people who were somewhat antisemitic, my bookshelf would be smaller by a third.

Of course, I own two hundred copies of Mine Kampf. Just to freak people out.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 11:33 AM on July 23, 2008

So how do I use this to get people to sleep with me.
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 11:15 AM on July 23, 2008

That reminds me.

Note to self: Remember to stop falling asleep when Cortex is under the blankets with you.
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 11:30 AM on July 23, 2008

All right, let me tell you a true story about how awesome Pixar is.

Whoops. Sorry. It's just reflex and this point.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 6:37 PM on July 22, 2008

He's a movie colony brat, but actually did live in New Orleans as a boy, and summered there until he was 11.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 6:58 PM on July 22, 2008

There's no guaranteed way to make money from blogging, and, if that's what you're after, you might be quite disappointed. But blogging is worth doing because you can write whatever the hell you want, and, if you connect with enough people, and build a big enough audience, who knows? Maybe you'll be able to pull in a bit of scratch.

The best experiences in my life have come as a result of blogging. But I've made very little money doing it, and my audience still trickles... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Astro Zombie at 7:48 AM on July 22, 2008

Of course Muse is romantic. I've slept with everyone I have ever inspired. Unless there are people out there who I have inspired and don't know about.

In which case, call me.
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 7:35 AM on July 22, 2008

Shit. Another drug I'm using wrong.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 7:34 AM on July 22, 2008

Nobody made a fuss when I joined, and I am someone from Minnesota who has smoked pot.
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 2:16 PM on July 21, 2008

I didn't know there were seven stars.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 1:19 PM on July 21, 2008

Why the shotgun?

Unless I miss my guess, it's for the day that the revolution comes and people want to put these mothers up against the wall.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 2:14 PM on July 21, 2008

Yes. I burnt my feet very badly on a slide when I was a boy. Leapt off it in agony and was rushed to the hospital, where they smeared my feet with salve and put little booties on them. It's a dim memory to me now, but it explains why I can stick needles into the soles of my feet and not feel a thing.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 1:18 PM on July 21, 2008

I still think I can take it.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 10:06 PM on July 20, 2008

Thanks, all!
posted to MeFi Music by Astro Zombie at 9:53 PM on July 20, 2008

You know why nouveau riche have such bad taste? Because money is still fun for them.

Give me bad taste and good times any day of the week. You can keep your houses that look like museums. I want tiger cages.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 5:51 PM on July 20, 2008

I have had repeated and quite torrid sexual encounters with my user number over a series of several years. These encounters have not been coincidental, in answer to your question, but they have been rather meaningless, and the morning after I always feel more alone than ever.
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 8:53 AM on July 20, 2008

I LOLed. And then spent several hours ildy combining my and Christian Bale's names, wondering what it will look like when we are married. Should I hypenate.

Astro Bale
Astro Bale-Zombie
Astro Zombie-Bale
Astro Zombie Bale (does Zombie work as a middle name?)
Astro Christian Bale
Astro Christian Bale Zombie
Astro Christian Bale-Zombie
Astro Christian Zombie-Bale
Astro... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 11:13 AM on July 18, 2008

Seen one. They're cool, but you want, you know, like a hobo who has been rotting under a bridge smell. Instead, there's just, like, an animal that's been dead for four months, and it just rained, so you get a hint of something sort of rotten.

A little disappointing.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 10:15 PM on July 17, 2008

Eusociality - its what bees, ants, and all those other insects that divide into workers, drones, and queens do.

Isn't this also true of grade school girls?
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 11:34 AM on July 17, 2008

Gosh, I don't like to laugh at other peoples' deaths, but they make it so hard for a fellow.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 10:36 PM on July 16, 2008

I don't even understand how someone who is pretty drunk can be friends with someone who is fairly sober. One or the other is guaranteed to ruin the party for everyone else.
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 11:03 AM on July 16, 2008

Oh MAN, did I pick the right time to write a Boll Weevil song!
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 4:45 PM on July 16, 2008

I will miss him.
posted to MetaTalk by Astro Zombie at 4:44 PM on July 16, 2008

That's it! I'm pinning a letter to her. A scarlet H, for Harlotocritadultress.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 4:11 PM on July 16, 2008

Will Batman be able to run in his bat boots?
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 11:23 AM on July 16, 2008

He was great in Diner. Full stop. End of sentence. There are some things that give a person a lifetime of leeway.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 11:05 AM on July 16, 2008

I think I can weigh in on this, as the founder of the Church of Batman, Scientist.

The answer is yes. Whatever the question is. It's always yes.

That being said, Man Bat is surprisingly good at the luge.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 11:02 AM on July 16, 2008

I'd eat my pee for Grace Jones.

(Rereads longsleeves' comment)

I misread what you wrote.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 11:15 PM on July 15, 2008

Yes. I won't promise to eat them, though.
posted to Projects by Astro Zombie at 11:08 PM on July 15, 2008

I slept with them both and neither were any good.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 7:54 PM on July 15, 2008