I just got a second hand breadmaker and I'm still looking for a reliably delicious recipe. Did you find one yet NoMich?
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 11:28 PM on July 22, 2008

Thanks tcv. I just tried your suggestion and am stalling out at the same place. I'll try to fiddle with it a little more before I give up though.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 10:08 PM on July 13, 2008

I bet it would feel really nice to the server if you made an extra trip to go back in.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 9:20 PM on July 13, 2008

I'm not an expert, but I think going out is pretty important. Sunlight makes a difference and so does social interaction. Can you do your exercise outside - running, biking, swimming, etc? What about starting a plot at the local community garden? It's limited how much you have to talk to folks, but it will force you to get out of the house and take on a small and rewarding task in the sun and fresh air.

Also, I recommend taking responsibility for someone or something... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 9:47 PM on July 9, 2008

Woah, I read the first few responses and was blown away by how much I disagree.

HPV is the primary cause of cervical cancer. Cervical cancer from other causes is extremely rare. It's true that your friend's identity doesn't effect her risk of HPV, her behavior does.

If your friend has had intercourse with a penis or shared sex toys during penetrative sex, she could have gotten HPV. Theoretically she could also get it from some vigorous... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 8:36 PM on July 8, 2008

Wait, wait, wait - I just re-read your post more closely. What exactly was the "false positive for cancer"? Did she have an abnormal pap that was incorrectly labeled as cancer? Because if she had an abnormal pap in the past - even if it wasn't cancerous - she should have follow up paps for a few years.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 8:40 PM on July 8, 2008

Yeah, good reminder that I'm not the only homo, but you gotta assume that there are some straight people commenting here too.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 9:29 PM on July 8, 2008

Woman-to-woman transmitted HPV is common

Prove it. There are very few studies on sexual health in lesbians, period. There is some evidence that women have passed trich and BV (not exactly an STI, but it is caused by bacteria) during sex. Other STIs are both difficult to pass through the ways that many women have sex with each other (oral, digital, toys) and are uncommon within the communties of people who are sharing cooties.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 11:37 AM on July 9, 2008

Sometimes what a doctor sees in a pap smear, breast exam, pelvic exam or mammogram is not Some Obvious THING, but a slight change from the last test you had, something that isn't normal for YOU. And that change is what is worth investigating further.

Do you really think your doctor remembers the feel of your boobies when they do the next boobie check three years later? Doctors aren’t some special magic people, and there’s nothing particularly magic... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 11:51 AM on July 9, 2008

desuetude, sorry if I was overly confrontational. I'm letting the internet carry me away. And I"m glad to hear your doc takes good notes and reads them before each exam. Many don't - even if they wanted to there's little time - and many people don't have regular docs that they always see anyway. I guess where I'm coming from is a concern that we invest too much faith in doctors and medicine. And I don't think the person in question really needs paps very often, unless she wants them, and... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 12:39 PM on July 9, 2008

I was going to suggest meditation until I saw that you'd dismissed that one. It might help though. As re-reading the Little Prince could.

How about taking a week or two off, traveling somewhere mysterious or magical, (the Salton Sea? Dollywood? Machu Pichu?) walking around a lot, listening to the birds and boomboxes, buying watermellon with chili from street vendors, wandering into barbershops, etc and just trying to generally get quiet enough inside to hear that voice... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 2:03 PM on July 8, 2008

I've had great times on photo scavenger hunts. My most memorable involved one where we had to stage a protest about some issue (and photograph ourselves doing it). The winning team protested the sale of blenders at Macy's and quickly threw together protest signs on scraps of cardboard that said, "Frappe No Way!" and "Liquify: The Big Lie" Or maybe they just chanted these? I can't remember. Other acts we had to photograph included finding a body of water and swimming in it (I... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 1:39 PM on July 7, 2008

There are three tricks to learning to write:

1) Read a lot.

2) Write a lot.

3) Seek out and listen to feedback about your writing.

In other words, you're doing everything right.

One small thing - no need for asterisks or quotes to emphasize your points - let the words stand on their own and be confident that readers will understand the emphasis.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 10:06 AM on July 7, 2008

I have a 5 year old and (part time) a 6 year old. I would tell either tell them, "these scars feel private to me. I don't feel like talking about them right now." and change the subject, or I would say, "I cut myself a long time ago, but I don't feel like talking about it right now. Did you ever get a cut?" and move the focus to them.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 9:59 AM on July 7, 2008

I don't know when, but they are part of a perfectly linear continuum of don't-rock-so-hard-as-to-be-offputting-to-advertisers white dude rockers that starts somewhere around the Stones, touches briefly down on Lynyrd Skynyrd, and apparently continues on into an indefinite, rockin' future. So to me they work perfectly for a "classic rock" radio station.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 8:54 PM on July 6, 2008

No idea, but I love the Bechdel test even though I'm always sad at how few movies pass.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 11:38 AM on July 3, 2008

I'm confused. Won't your period eventually fall on a weekend no matter what?

Also, I know that many find menstrual blood disagreeable, but it is possible and for some, enjoyable, to fuck while bleeding.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 10:40 AM on July 3, 2008

Oh yeah, pearlybob is totally right. You could also consider depo.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 10:43 AM on July 3, 2008

Thanks folks - I'll look into these resources tonight.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 9:16 PM on July 1, 2008

Um, given that all women you are close to annoy you and that you want a son rather than a child, I wonder if a women's studies 101 class would help? I'm not trying to be snarky.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 2:07 PM on July 1, 2008

TThis is a pretty open-ended question but I may be able to offer a little help. I'm a single parent too.

My biggest resource has been my immediate community. I couldn't hold down a job or go to school if I didn't have friends babysitting, bringing me food now and then, helping with household chores, and just listening when I need to talk. I also can't overemphasize the importance of people who enjoy hanging out with me and my kid together - so I don't have to look for... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 1:10 PM on July 1, 2008

Sorry for the inappropriate apostrophe.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 1:11 PM on July 1, 2008

No.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 1:23 AM on June 26, 2008

Jesus. This is horrible. I wish your ex-stepbrother would un-invite this molester. He may be his father but he is the one who should be made to feel uncomfortable now - not you.

I guess the idea of the ex-step-sister talking to him may be the best you've got. Also a great idea that you're bringing a trusted and protective friend.

One other thought is sending him a brief letter before the wedding to tell him yourself. Something... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 10:03 PM on June 21, 2008

shelleycat covered most of it. I'd only add that the ants are probably "farming" the scale in order to eat the sticky juices that the scale produces. Gross, I know. I'm dealing with this problem on my outside tree by using oil. Since your plant is potted, you can take an additional step of putting the pot into a "moat" of water. Ants can't cross the moat, and hence can't bring in more scale. Just use a pan or shallow pot that is wider than the pot that the lemon tree is in.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 8:50 PM on June 7, 2008

So how do you use your gas grill as a smoker? I want to do it too!
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 7:19 PM on June 6, 2008

The first many times are hard. Pain, discomfort, awkwardness, etc are all very, very normal. It will likely get better, feel better, hurt less, etc very soon.

I'll echo all the folks advising you to explore other sexual activities. If you do want to keep having vaginal penetration, could you rely on some other form of sex to help your honey get off first (he could masturbate, you could masturbate him, you could give him oral sex, he could get off between your legs or... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 9:42 PM on June 2, 2008

In my experience, obsession - when rebuffed - quickly turns to anger. For a crazy person, that anger could get violent.

You have been very clear with her. You could be a little more clear by saying something like, "The way you have been coming on to me makes me really uncomfortable. I need space and I don't want to hang out with you when I'm outside smoking or bbqing." And then I would just try like crazy to avoid her. Don't make eye contact, don't say... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 10:22 AM on May 28, 2008 marked best answer

I believe that new flavor you're picking up on is the blood of Unilever's Indonesian palm plantation workers - or maybe just the stink of the company's enormous wealth.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 11:49 PM on May 27, 2008

Wow, I really admire your honesty and straightforwardness here. It's a touchy subject with a lot of repercussions that must be hard to think about.

My intuitive hit is that quitting drinking - at least for now - could really be a good thing for you. Both your doctor and your fiance (the person you spend the most time with?) have concerns about how much you drink. You are stating that quitting drinking feels very difficult and not what you want to do. These factors make... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 11:35 PM on May 27, 2008

Good for you both for delving into some new kinds of sex! A little recommended reading to start: The Whole Lesbian Sex Book, a basic SM guide like the Bottoming Book, the Topping Book, SM 101, etc from Greenery Press, some queer fiction (or if you don't feel like reading, watch some porn together for ideas. That is a really, really good porn movie by the way. Recommended for everyone.)

Another good place to get ideas is watching other real couples have sex. If you live... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 11:15 PM on May 27, 2008

Thanks folks for your help. I'll look into the resources you all recommend particularly Dave Ramsey.

And thanks for stopping by for a personal consult jdroth! I do read Get Rich Slowly regularly, but somehow simply reading it has not forced me to start saving money - turns out I actually have to make changes in my lifestyle too! ( ;

I have noticed that GRS seems more geared towards people who have enough but overspend it. I feel like some of the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 9:23 AM on May 27, 2008

Thank you small_ruminant, these are the exact types of programs I was looking for. I'll check them out in more detail this week!

jdroth - makes sense that you focus on your own experience. It's part of what makes your blog "work". I wonder if a director or staffer from one of these organizations linked above would be interested in doing a guest post on GRS?!
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 11:37 AM on May 27, 2008

I like Sarah Kramer's cookbooks - consistently tasty and consistently on the easy side.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 10:08 PM on May 11, 2008

Unrelated to the above story, I've recently started meditating a few times a week, and I find it helps me to feel calmer and more focused while leading a very busy life that requires a lot of focus and effort. I had hesitated to do it because it felt like I'd be adding yet another task to my days, but its been a good investment of time.

I also noticed that I got much more productive after I became a single parent. I think increasing the amount of responsibility in my... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 10:04 PM on May 11, 2008

Thanks folks for the links. It seems to be a lot of work - more than I'm prepared for at the moment. I think I'll start with chickens and maybe revisit this idea in a few years.

(Favorite pull quote from the answers above: Ask yourself, do I like cleaning fish?)
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 3:45 PM on May 10, 2008

Well, I bet my job would love to have your help with IT stuff, and while you're there you could ask around about what international service orgs are the best to work with. (On the international tip: some big groups that get a lot accomplished include Medicines Sans Fronteires, Partners in Health, World Neighbors - A smaller organization could also benefit from your help but you'd probably need to do more leg-work to make it happen. Try contacting a foundation that funds smaller international... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 7:56 PM on May 3, 2008

here it is!
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 8:55 PM on May 3, 2008

Please don't be dissuaded by folks who lack direct experience in this. Legal concerns are real, but so is the desire to help someone to start a family. Sure, get legal advice. Of course. I found the National Center for Lesbian Rights here in San Francisco to be very helpful in terms of explaining what the legal precedent is here. I have no idea what the legal situation is where you live. But assuming you will do your legal homework, I can talk to you about what it means to me that someone shared... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 10:05 PM on April 21, 2008 marked best answer

Thanks all. Sounds like we have a semi-consensus that I should not worry about it, accept the gifts, reciprocate when appropriate, and again, not worry about it. For whatever reason, reading all of your advice makes me feel much calmer about the situation.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 11:17 PM on March 20, 2008

Huh. But VZV does actually cause nerve pain when it's manifesting as shingles right? So does a virus have to directly invade a cell to cause trauma or whatnot to that cell? (I mean besides the systemic symptoms we experience like fever that are caused by complement)

I just took micro last semester but there's something obvious I feel like I'm still not getting.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 3:01 PM on March 10, 2008

Thanks all so much. The detail in these answers in super interesting for me. I was trying to look at it from a more simplistic perspective for something I'm writing about how HIV works, but I was probably trying to get too simplistic.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 10:32 PM on March 10, 2008

I was just compiling a list of my favorite movies. For the record they're:

The Nasty Girl
Once Were Warriors
Lone Star
The Secret of Rone Inish
Pan's Labyrinth
Some Kind of Wonderful
Mysterious Skin
My Beautiful Launderette
Persepolis
Harold and Maude
Heavenly Creatures

(Don't laugh at Some Kind of Wonderful - it's one of those... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 7:10 PM on February 12, 2008

Some History:

Open Veins of Latin America, Strike!, Agents of Repression, Detroit, I do mind dying, A Taste of Power, Direct Action, How it All Began, Treblinka, Poor People's Movements, SNCC, The New Abolitionists, Driven Out, Women, Race, And Class, Assata, Transgender Warriors, The Story of Jane, uh, that's all I can come up with this minute, I'll try to come back later with more.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 5:38 PM on January 29, 2008

Hey occhiblu: I get the two confused too and that was an interesting article of the exact tone I was thinking of, but not the one I was looking for. Still, thanks for the link.

And thanks sbutler for doing a LexisNexis search for me. I guess it wasn't the New Yorker either.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 7:59 PM on January 2, 2008

Huh, that buprenorphine article was really interesting.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 8:36 PM on January 2, 2008

I don't know. I get the consequences thing but in this case, either he actually hates his glasses and is consciously or unconsciously trying to ditch them (worth exploring at some point when no one is frustrated) or else he just made an honest mistake. If I were you, I'd tell him that if it ever happens again he'll have to pay for the next pair of (ugly) glasses by doing some household chore or something. But I'd let this one go.

-mom of two
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 6:03 PM on December 21, 2007

Hmm, I don't know the technical terminology for any of this, but I did experience this problem with a DAT player a bunch of times recently. I guess my suggestion is pretty much the same as grumpy's though: I could get mine out after turning everything off and turning it back on again. I think I actually had to unplug the thing and plug it back in to get it to spit the tape out. I had a different brand of drive though.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 9:21 PM on December 19, 2007

Weird, I took the original quote as an analogy: so-and-so candidate will (metaphorically) follow [who? I'm not sure] to mass suicide.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 1:19 PM on December 18, 2007

Fair enough Omie. I shouldn't have said that he is "likely" to have it. I should have said that it's not unlikely that he has it already, whether he knows it or not.
posted to Ask Metafilter by serazin at 2:47 PM on December 17, 2007