Any help digging into why that angers me so, or how to deal with it to reduce it to mild displeasure?

Trying to changing your mindset could work, but I think it might also be worth looking into your lifestyle to see if there might be factors making you more likely to be irritable at certain times. For example, I love salty food but I've learned that I have to avoid it as much as possible because of how crabby it makes me.
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 9:47 AM on August 29, 2008

He knows that in the future I want a family and he felt the pressure to know if he wanted one too, he doesn’t know and he’s confused. I don’t feel like I put allot of pressure on him, just a reasonable amount that comes naturally after dating for a year.

The pressure on him comes from the fact that you're 33 and he's not sure he wants children. In that situation, it's only natural for him to be worried about the possibility that he might be wasting... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 3:21 AM on August 29, 2008

I think it's fine to just not reply. It happened to me a few times when I was doing this and I was never bothered by it. Nobody ever sent me a message just to say "no thanks".
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 11:39 AM on August 28, 2008

Other employees are reluctant to talk to him because they are concerned that he'll react poorly and have a tantrum.

I suspect this affecting your other staff a lot more than you know. Your bully looks irreplaceable because with him around, everybody else is so stressed that they aren't achieving anything like their real potential.

I also suspect that this guy is not really happy in his job anyway. Let him go.
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 11:06 AM on August 28, 2008

Math Hates You Back
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 2:11 AM on August 17, 2008

I've had the same awful allergy attacks that happened year-round at apparently random times. The running nose and sneezing would just go on and on for the entire day. The only pattern I noticed is that they seemed to happen following periods when I'd been unusually relaxed and then gone back into my usual stressed out mode. I have a (half-baked) theory that it could actually be vasomotor rhinitis triggered by stress rather than an allergic reaction.

Now I use the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 1:00 PM on August 15, 2008

My favorite, from Miscellaneous Dishonorable Mentions:

The penguin stood on the iceberg, cutting a striking black-on-white profile, much like the silhouette produced by a person standing behind a screen in front of a bright light while holding up a Twinkie to represent the penguin and placing it atop a Yorkshire terrier to represent the iceberg.

Sarah Totton
Owen Sound, Ontario

posted to MetaFilter by tomcooke at 7:12 AM on August 14, 2008

Good to have you back!
posted to MetaTalk by tomcooke at 11:03 AM on August 3, 2008

Did you know that you can use breathing exercises to unclog your nose?. And the best way to stop it from clogging again it to keep breathing through your nose. My personal experience is that this works very effectively.
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 1:47 AM on August 2, 2008

Lovely.
posted to MeFi Music by tomcooke at 4:11 PM on July 31, 2008

How do you know you're 'doing your best'?

If you can learn to relax and accept yourself the way your therapist is recommending, I think you'll also find that you're more inclined to trust your instincts when it comes to questions like this.

To put it another way, don't worry about that part right now, it'll take care of itself.
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 12:51 PM on July 31, 2008

I'm thinking lately that the main thing is not so much the technique you choose to deal with anxiety but the attitude that you take to the process. Rather than rejecting the anxiety and struggling to push it away, you need to accept that it's there right now and deal with it in the most gentle, relaxed, loving manner you can manage - basically the same way you would deal with another upset person you were trying to comfort.

Instead of going into meditation with thoughts... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 2:03 AM on July 31, 2008

Stewart Lee. There's quite a few good bits on YouTube.
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 8:07 AM on July 30, 2008

Imagine if millions of people had seen you naked before you were old enough to say "embarrassing." That's the story of Spencer Elden.

I'm sure I'm not alone in guessing who Spencer Elden was just based on the front page text. That's one famous baby photo.
posted to MetaFilter by tomcooke at 2:12 AM on July 28, 2008

The Facts of Life (UK).

Seconding that "the birds and the bees" is also a common expression here.
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 1:42 AM on July 24, 2008

If you haven't already, you could look into progressive muscle relaxation and breathing exercises, like diaphragmatic breathing / belly breathing. The idea would be to spend a few minutes on exercises like these before bed to get yourself really relaxed before sleeping. I also believe that training yourself to breathe through your nose all the time can help with sleep quality.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 12:47 AM on July 21, 2008

Data mining?
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 3:01 PM on July 17, 2008

Actually yhbc, I beg to differ. YOU, my friend, are mixing up your Whiplash with your Dastardly.

The website describes the character as "Snidley [sic] Whiplash from Wacky Races". So they did in some sense get the characters mixed up.
posted to MetaFilter by tomcooke at 10:42 AM on July 17, 2008

You might be interested in this previous question about books and movies portraying healthy, normal marriages.

I think the main thing you can do to improve your situation right now is try to learn to relax and slow down, at least for a few hours a day. It sounds like you feel like you always need to be doing something, and this probably means that when you're trying to listen to her, part of your mind is usually somewhere else.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 10:31 AM on July 17, 2008

I've always assumed that this sketch was meant affectionately, and I think it makes more sense that way - basically if you're looking for some kind of edge to it, I don't think it's there.
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 2:40 AM on July 17, 2008

Beer!
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 4:10 PM on July 13, 2008

In my opinion, Max Tegmark [recent interview] has the best answer - the reason there is something instead of nothing is that mathematical existence and physical existence are one and the same.
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 9:15 AM on July 12, 2008

If you can increase your level of direct engagement with politics and activism, you might find that your identity as a feminist becomes less dependent on the details of your lifestyle. Saying no to candy is definitely not giving in to The Man if you turn around and donate that money to (for example) Planned Parenthood instead.
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 8:31 AM on July 12, 2008

I told my mom and she said that was as ridiculous as I thought it was

Maybe your girlfriend would be a bit less insecure if she knew she could count on you to be on her side even when she's not being entirely reasonable. It is quite possible to negotiate for solutions that satisfy your own needs without questioning her right to feel how she feels.
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 2:38 AM on July 12, 2008

I would appreciate this option.
posted to MetaTalk by tomcooke at 12:42 PM on July 10, 2008

I think if you have a look through the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, you will find some statements that you will be happy to accept as non-negotiable. You'll forget them, but you can go back to it any time you want to remind yourself that you do actually have a core set of values.
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 3:05 AM on July 8, 2008

Arachnophilia is a free web game where you get to be a spider and do spidery things - it actually calls itself a simulator. Also a few of the free flash games at Orisinal are bug-themed in a more general way.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 3:13 PM on July 5, 2008 marked best answer

Put a big smile on my face.
posted to MeFi Music by tomcooke at 3:08 PM on July 3, 2008

Have you done any front page posts? What were they about? How did the discussion go? People's MetaFilter posts ought to be a pretty good way of getting into their interests, without going straight in with "So, what things do you like?" which will turn a nervous person's mind completely blank.
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 2:46 PM on July 3, 2008

Everybody likes a little drama, a little something to shake up the routine.

Yeah, I think its a case of everybody being happy to play along for the sake of having something to talk about. It's a bit like needing to suspend disbelief in order to enjoy a movie.
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 4:12 AM on July 2, 2008

I think it's this one.
posted to MetaTalk by tomcooke at 1:29 PM on June 23, 2008

Congratulations on your engagement!

I know vaguely that he will have permission to stay on even after his visa ends

The number one thing you need to keep in mind in this situation is that nothing happens automatically when you get married. He will need to get a new visa in order to have the right to be in your country on the basis of your marriage, and you will need to do government paperwork in order to get it. If you're... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 2:25 AM on June 21, 2008

Gok Wan's TV show How to Look Good Naked could be inspiring for you. I don't know how easy it would be for you to watch in the States, but there are some clips on the web.
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 8:26 AM on June 20, 2008

How is this hypothetical plugin going to know which albums are legit? Or do you just want a price for all your music, including the stuff you already legally own?
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 7:09 AM on June 20, 2008

There was an episode of Red Dwarf on this theme called The Inquisitor. From the wiki page:

Starbug is taken under control by a being called The Inquisitor and returned to Red Dwarf. The Inquisitor is a self-repairing simulant who survived until the end of time and, coming to the conclusion that there is no God and no afterlife, decided that the only point of life was to live a worthwhile life. He is on a journey through time, seeking out... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 11:17 AM on June 19, 2008

If you can't find it here, perhaps you can post the same question at a forum specifically dealing with cult cinema? Maybe this one? You'll need to register but it looks like that's free.
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 1:50 AM on June 19, 2008

IMO thinking about sex all the time is a symptom of boredom. You need to cultivate some new interests. What do you really want to do but are putting off because it's too time consuming or expensive? Find a way to make it happen. You'll also be much more attractive to women if you're passionate about something outside of yourself.
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 12:26 PM on June 18, 2008

Tales of the City is the great novel of chosen family

Admittedly I haven't seen the TV series but I can't imagine how it could be any different in that respect.
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 8:16 AM on June 18, 2008

I hated the new address bar behavior at first, but then I got used to it in next to no time. It's not yet a habit to actually use the new functionality of it though.
posted to MetaFilter by tomcooke at 11:30 AM on June 17, 2008

Before Coupling, Steven Moffat wrote the wonderful Joking Apart.

You might be interested in Love Soup and Sensitive Skin if you like a relatively relaxed pace and a female lead character.

If you hate squirm-based comedy, I think you'll enjoy Gavin and Stacey which strikes a nice balance between being upbeat and big-hearted on the one hand, and cheerfully smutty on the other.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 5:05 AM on June 17, 2008 marked best answer

The Keith/Palmer/Bowles series was called Executive Stress. If I remember correctly a large part of the plot was the fact that they had to pretend not to be married at work because it was against some kind of company rule.
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 6:24 AM on June 17, 2008

Faze's link has a bit on Vidal's history with the NYT:

Vidal's first book, Williwaw, a war novel, was well received in 1946. But it was his third, The City And The Pillar, an openly homosexual novel, published two years later (dedicated "To JT") that influenced his life most profoundly. Vidal has consistently argued that the term "homosexual" has no validity, because human sexuality is too complex and diverse to be reduced to binary terms.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by tomcooke at 1:02 AM on June 16, 2008

I think the key is finding something that's enjoyable enough to satisfy the craving, but boring enough that you won't actually get excited about eating it. For me this is digestive biscuits (not the chocolate coated kind which are really habit forming). They are certainly not health food, but I can comfortably keep a stash at home and at work with no fear of overeating - they just aren't all that interesting, due to their fiber content and lack of intense sweetness.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 5:52 AM on June 12, 2008

How about a really nice leather backpack/laptop bag/briefcase?
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 5:04 AM on June 10, 2008

Found it!

They were meant to float up into the sky to mark the happy union of a wedding, but the newly married couple were shocked to find they had accidentally caused a UFO scare.

...

Elle Crowden and Wayne Packer sent up 40 floating lanterns as the stunning finale to mark their big day - but the sight of them gliding through the darkness sparked a flurry of calls to police.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 1:44 AM on June 10, 2008 marked best answer

Here's an article (that I've linked before) about how to naturally unblock your nose by holding your breath, I suspect that this may be the same kind of effect.
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 1:09 AM on June 10, 2008

Along the lines of what cocoagirl said, I think you need to stoke up his confidence and motivation. This means developing a habit of showing appreciation for things that he does, and especially those things that involve some initiative. Be very sparing with negative feedback and complaints - remember that you want him to want to take you out, and this not going to happen if you're constantly finding fault with his efforts.
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 1:48 AM on June 3, 2008

Stroke of Justice
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 6:24 AM on June 2, 2008

Isn't it fairly normal for there to be some kind of class discussion about the behavior of a disruptive or bullying child, in order to impress on them the way that their behavior makes other kids feel? And not that unusual for the other kids to be given some input as to how a disruptive child should be dealt with?
posted to MetaFilter by tomcooke at 3:49 AM on June 1, 2008

I think you need to go back to your plan for the summer and work out how to turn it into something you actually want to do. My suggestion would be to create an application or utility for your own use, but I'm sure there are other possibilities. I remember writing an LZW compressor just for a fun personal project in the first year of my CS degree and being thrilled to bits when it was finally working.

I used to play tons of games and I was... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by tomcooke at 5:37 PM on May 31, 2008