Starship, We Built This City:

Chorus:
We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll

Jordan Sparks, Tattoo:

You're still a part of everything I do, you're on my heart just like a tattoo,
Just like a tatto, I'll always have you.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 1:27 PM on July 25, 2008

"Daughters" by John Mayer makes me want to murder someone. Him, specifically.

Yes!! Gross. And infuriating.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 1:32 PM on July 25, 2008

For me, nothing worked until I bit the bullet and went to a dermatologist (when I had worse acne than I do now I used Cleocin and Retin-A) and got facials. Also, a good facial person (there are good and not so good) will get to know your skin, understand it, and give good advice for how to keep things in control. If you have a health care savings account, you may be able to use tax-free dollars to pay for the facials.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 9:52 AM on July 19, 2008

When I was a poor student I went to the in-training people at the local medical school.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 9:44 AM on July 19, 2008

A friend of mine, Alex Momtchiloff, does this. He is very responsive to people's needs, and has a lovely English accent. He's on LinkedIn and his email is alexmomtchiloff@sbcglobal.net.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 8:15 AM on July 15, 2008 marked best answer

Things you might say if they feel true to you: I'm so sorry that happened to you; I'm sorry you went through that alone; I'm sorry you didn't feel okay telling me; I'm sorry I didn't figure it out somehow (aside: not that you should have); I'm sorry I didn't do more (aside: not that you knew or should have known). Etc.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 9:00 PM on July 9, 2008

You could talk to him about applying for SSI. In order to qualify, he'll need a psychiatric and physical assessment. Which might connect him to some system of treatment. If he eventually qualifies for SSI (assume some months, could be longer than one year), the payment can help against homelessness.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 8:15 PM on July 6, 2008

This is a hard call. Sadly, whether or not you press charges is just one blip in the f***ed-up life of Justin. There's no way to say or know whether your decision is at all consequential.

If it were me, I would press charges, and monitor the process. I would attend any hearings I was permitted to attend, and keep in touch with both the DA's office and the PD's office. Whenever during the process you're present and Justin's present, be respectful yet very serious... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 10:28 AM on July 4, 2008

Sounds fun to me, but I'm not much of a romantic/idealist. Plus I agree with TheOtherGuy re the marriage issues are her deal, not yours.

Just be aware that this may be her first step (whether it's completely self-aware or not) toward breaking up with her husband. That's how people do it sometimes. So don't be shocked if that happens -- she won't be "leaving him for you," she'll just be leaving him.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 10:04 AM on July 4, 2008

You could try needymeds.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 11:00 AM on July 3, 2008

I really believe in community property -- I think it's the most fair, and the most in line with my own views -- so I personally would not be willing to sign a pre-nup that excluded my interest in a business developed/grown during the marriage.

I know you say it's the process of the pre-nup and not the substance of the pre-nup but --- are you sure? Again, I'm biased because I've lived for 20+ years in a community property state, but -- waiving all rights to a business... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 7:47 PM on July 1, 2008

As others have said, the first step would likely be to reflect back on what when on when you two were kids, and (when it's clear in your mind) apologize. And mean it. Don't expect apologies back, just acknowledge anything that you did that was not nice. She was younger, smaller, and for whatever reason felt disregarded by the family. Down the road, if you keep being consistently available to her (perhaps by consistently sending birthday cards, holiday notes, etc.), she may decide to have a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 9:49 PM on June 30, 2008

A birth certificate or social security card may help, even though it has no picture.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 9:23 PM on June 30, 2008

Oh, dear, Padraigin, that recipe seriously over-estimates my culinary skills (Japanese sesame seed grinder?). The Hawaiian place on 17th & Sanchez closed about 5 months ago. Google says the Jamaican place on Fulton is King Jamaican. I'll check it out!
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 10:22 PM on June 24, 2008

PS This place -- Hukilau -- has good reviews on Yelp. And they have poke.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 10:28 PM on June 24, 2008

Mmmm, Back a Yard has great pictures of yummy-looking food. (Perhaps a meet up???)
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 10:31 PM on June 24, 2008

I'd be interested in how and whether/when participants negotiate and make choices within the industry. E.g. Are there different distributors (right word)? Does a participant get to pick? Can the worker reject certain partners, or certain sex acts? How much bargaining power do the workers have? Do some people have more bargaining power than others? Who, why? Does a worker take steps to increase bargaining power? What steps? (I know those aren't written like interview questions, just... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 4:54 AM on June 23, 2008

I have done so. For me, what has helped: practice; therapy; medication; a few things going well in my life; getting older and more comfortable with myself; experience.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 9:47 AM on June 20, 2008

I would focus on any facts that were incorrectly reported.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 8:34 PM on June 8, 2008

Re how long they stay up -- I live in the Castro, and someone appropriately threw across the power lines outside our windows a pair of red sequinned "Dorothy" shoes. They lasted at least a year, but they're gone now.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 6:20 PM on June 7, 2008

The "on paper" reasoning has led to many, many bad dates, relationships, marriages, etc.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 10:45 AM on June 7, 2008

How awful for you! Can you get into a really good dermatologist, an "expert," maybe someone at UCLA? Someone who really specializes in chronic skin conditions such as psoriasis, eczema, etc. (Here's the link to the UCLA psoriasis clinic -- even if they conclude it's not psoriasis or eczema, they may have good ideas about what it is.)

My life with psoriasis has changed dramatically for the better since I went to the UCSF psoriasis clinic. I had previously... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 8:29 PM on June 6, 2008

I would not cc the executive director -- to me that would seem weird and as though you're not following directions. It would be better to have one of your references call the ED.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 8:03 PM on June 5, 2008

People used to always say this to my ex-husband and me. We don't look alike at all BUT -- we do look similar in a pale-skin-brown-hair-WASPy-New-England-y way, so maybe that was it. (My ex uses a wheelchair, and there may have been a bit of disability weirdness, so I know that ?? feeling.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 10:27 PM on June 4, 2008

Did anyone link to this thread yet?

I am very sorry for your friend's father, and all of the people affected. My few thoughts:

Destroying another life (here, the life of your friend's father) is just destroying another life, it's not making things right;

This happens. More than we care to recognize. People go on, because they must.

Silence and lack of (self) forgiveness is toxic. In my... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 7:54 PM on June 3, 2008

One more vote for 10 a.m.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 8:47 AM on June 1, 2008

That '70s Show.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 10:32 PM on May 30, 2008

My friend who does waxing as part of her job says that regular waxing, done by the same person with the same technique, pulls the hair and its roots in the same direction. And (according to her) with other methods the root gets pulled in different directions making said root less aligned with the follicle. Or something like that. (This could be completely wrong, I'm just repeating an explanation.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 1:00 PM on May 28, 2008

I'm in the minority, but I think it's sleazy. Perhaps from my experience of living in scarce housing areas. And there's not a huge amount of liability -- a refundable deposit from a sublettor could cover any damages or liability.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 1:50 PM on May 24, 2008

New Hampshire has no income tax and no sales tax. Property taxes tend to be high, though.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 9:04 PM on May 21, 2008

I vote bad behavior on the part of the SIL.

I wonder if there were other things going on besides the twin beds. If she feels that she is constantly ignored or disliked by the family (or something like that), or that you are the favorite child (or something like that), or some other structural issue, she might think, see, these twin beds are Just One More Example. She'd be wrong, and her behavior would still be bad. But the reaction seems so off that I wonder if... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 9:03 AM on May 20, 2008

Legally, the rule against same-sex marriage has been challenged as discrimination on the basis of sex and/or sexual orientation. The rule against more-than-two-people marriage cannot be challenged using that theory. So it's actually pretty different in terms of the way discrimination theory works.

The related challenge is on fundamental rights (the right to marry being a fundamental right). It's possible to frame a "fundamental rights" argument on polygamy.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 9:52 PM on May 15, 2008

If Florida does not have "state disability insurance" (and it seems as though they don't -- I didn't see any on the internet and the UI office would have told you), then the next avenue would be if she has any private disability insurance through her work or through her own private policy. If there's no policy there, then it's time to start calling up relatives for $.

It's amazing to me that a state as large and prosperous as Florida does not have state... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 8:52 AM on May 13, 2008

Aside/tip: I saw DCfC a few years ago at the Paramount in Oakland (ordinarily a good venue). I don't know what the hell was going on, but the sound was so painfully loud and muddy that people were leaving in droves, myself included. I'm a huge fan so I was bummed. Anyway, so, bring your ear plugs just in case.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 12:33 PM on May 9, 2008

My sister's an elementary school teacher specializing in literacy and bilingual ed. She's amazingly great at it -- wins awards, teaches other teachers the curriculum, implements new programs. But when she and her husband adopted a baby from Guatamala, she moved out of the classroom into a support position. Running a classroom while raising a young child was too much intensity, she decided. (My sister loves her co-workers -- I've never heard her complain about them. But there is a tendency... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 8:53 AM on May 9, 2008

I lived with a person with SCI, C8-T1, incomplete, for several years. I would stretch his legs manually, which seemed helpful WRT leg pain.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 5:35 PM on May 7, 2008

Research on this phenomenon -- I would call the co-authors of the study. SCI research is a pretty small world.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 5:41 PM on May 7, 2008 marked best answer

Also, if it were me as the dog owner, I would be fine and in fact happy to know that you have copies of the pictures for your portfolio.

(I like the idea of a Day in the Life of Fido, kewwwwt!)
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 9:20 AM on May 7, 2008

Loquacious, what a great idea!! I'd never heard of that tool, sounds perfect. I will get one and relay your offer of a demonstration/practice session. And yes, though he's very small, he's scrappy and has been in his share of fights, so I don't think he'll be perceived as an easy mark. He knows who and what to avoid -- he's lived in lots of different neighborhoods all over the Bay Area. But he's also a little PTSD from various life experiences, so I think having the tool will help him be... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 11:32 AM on May 3, 2008

I did not, gingerbeer. "An island in a sea of shark-infested waters." Heh.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 8:37 PM on May 6, 2008

A classic conundrum of sex -- sometimes the best sex is with people with whom the emotional connection is meh. There is no answer to this conundrum, other than to recognize that when you find good sex plus good emotional connection you have a really valuable combination not to be tossed lightly.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 9:36 AM on May 3, 2008

I really want this caffeinated hot chocolate. I wonder if the Swiss Miss could be modified by adding some higher end chocolate, maybe Ovaltine powder or Scharfenberger cocoa. Mmmmm ...
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 11:49 PM on April 30, 2008

Well, jokes about the idea of men raping men (pretty common, think about all of the jokes when a man is threatened with or sent to prison) always strike me as creepy-violent, depressing, related-to-sexism-about-women-and-gay-men.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 3:18 AM on April 29, 2008

I'm really not academic enough to explain this properly but -- Jokes about men raping men sort of assume a male teller and/or listener thinking, "ha, ha, funny, and I'm not susceptible to being raped." The perspective of these jokes sort of exclude women and male inmates (who really do get raped). At the same time, these jokes play on a straight male nervousness about penetration, uh oh, maybe I am susceptible to being raped/penetrated. So there's a push back to the straight male... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 9:04 AM on April 29, 2008

Ship your books via "media mail," USPS. Cheaper than UPS.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 8:17 PM on April 28, 2008

Reminds me a little of "the medium is the message." I've also seen: "Good message, bad messenger."
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 9:39 AM on April 28, 2008

It looks like there's enough room to explain. So I would just state, No one looked injured or complained of injury at the time of the accident. Later, I was told that Joe Smith is claiming injury." I would not check the "injured" box.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 8:34 AM on April 27, 2008

A later executed will revokes the prior will. So the words "execution" and "revocation" might come up.
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 8:23 AM on April 27, 2008

I wonder if there's a perspective issue. I remember thinking how brilliant some paper was that I wrote in college. Years later I found a box of some of my papers and, sure, they were good for a college student but from a "grown up" perspective they're weren't very good at all. Same thing with work I did my first few years as a lawyer -- good, but not as good as I thought at the time. A lot of being sharp is not just some absolute brain-smart-ness, but experience, judgment, history.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 10:01 AM on April 26, 2008

Wesleyan and Williams are both huge intellectual nerd schools (or at least they were when I went to Wesleyan 21 years ago). You are going to love it! I wish I were going!
posted to Ask Metafilter by ClaudiaCenter at 10:08 PM on April 23, 2008