[woah, long]

I'm personally of the belief that most of what we consider "talent" is learned through what we absorb from our environment, and practicepracticepractice - songwriting is very much like that too I feel.

Firstly, what you and I consider "good" lyrics are possibly (and probably - I'm not a fan of grunge, for example) quite different - music taste is such a personal thing. You are, I'm... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 7:18 PM on February 29, 2008 marked best answer

Life got in the way of my RPM challenge (and getting the mic to work) - but when I'm free again, your advice will be very helpful. Thanks everyone!
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 3:15 PM on February 27, 2008

Here's what I thought was a beautifully written article on D/s. I remember being moved by it - I was like, awwww :)

D/s article on Everything2

Hopefully you can relate to the appeal of that level of trust, and vulnerability.

I also found this:

Parents and Kids and D/s

As to patriarchal gender roles - D/s, as far as I understand it, is not at all about... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 2:15 PM on January 26, 2008

By the way, sorry if I came off a bit rude in my comment above - I was reacting more to some of the comments in the thread, and confused their attitude with yours. You're only looking for information and trying to understand. I hope it helps.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 3:44 PM on January 26, 2008

Thanks eyeballkicks and skylar!
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 6:51 PM on December 17, 2007

Brandon Blatcher: leave again if gets too bad, but a simple phonecall doesn't have to be a big deal.

A simple phonecall doesn't have to be a big deal if you can be fairly certain that if it goes badly, if it's having a negative impact on your wellbeing, you can stand up for yourself, walk away like an adult, and go back to your saner and more manageable life without taking damage. If you can keep your mental health and wellbeing separate from and... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 12:55 PM on November 12, 2007

Some links:

Race - The Power of an Illusion - the website for the documentary loquat mentioned

American Anthropological Association Statement on "Race

Gene tests prove that we are all the same under the skin - article from The Times

Why we should give up on race - article from The... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 4:47 AM on November 6, 2007

I'd like to second Danila (and a few others) - I really think it's them, not you. Yes it would've been better if you didn't spill your drink on him in retaliation, but all the people here reacting as if you've done the worst thing in the world ever seems to have missed that he rolled his eyes and told you to get over it, from what you said for no reason. Your response to damn dirty ape was similarly just a little on the sensitive side, but your tone was gentle and you made a little joke and it... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 6:26 PM on October 29, 2007

It's funny, I was just thinking today, before I saw this question (I think it's somewhat relevant): if men and women can't be just friends - or in your case, if it's inappropriate, in the context of a serious and committed relationship, to have platonic friends of the opposite sex, because there's a potential threat there - what do bisexual people do? Do they get to have friends at all?
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 11:08 AM on July 29, 2007

Thanks for your answers so far!

gergtreble: I'm looking to record myself. I'll look up rehearsal rooms - thanks!

miss lynnster - sadly my old laptop has died, and my new imac won't travel. And don't you need something between the laptop and the Shure 58? Can't afford both at the moment, unfortunately. Besides, it's less a mike problem, more a recording environment problem.

davejay: good recommendation thanks, but still... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 2:56 AM on June 15, 2007

Now At Last - Feist
Call Me On Your Way Back Home - Ryan Adams
Hopefully - My Morning Jacket
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 7:45 AM on June 4, 2007

I wonder if you've ever actually been "the best" for something within a group of people? (Given the huge population on the planet, nobody can know they're THE best at anything.)

It's not really that fun. Nobody loves you for it. Seriously. Some people will admire you for it, but others will be jealous, and you'll have to deal with that. And once you're at the top, the only way is down. You'll have... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 9:45 AM on June 1, 2007 marked best answer

Whatever you do, don't say you want them to stop because the words are offensive, or that you're offended. Offensive and offended have completely lost all meaning in the backlash against "PC" - it's cool to offend people now.

Words like "gay" and "retarded" have an innocent charm - that is I feel why people are so attached to it. But many people do get hurt by them, with good reason. And I think there are two kinds of people: the first who... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 5:54 PM on March 27, 2007

I think delmoi is right, by the way, but it's still a good story:

So: what the soldiers heard was 'me gook! me gook!' - i.e. 'I am a gook' - and so was born the pejorative slang using the sound 'gook' to refer to Koreans, and later all Asians, in an insulting and derogatory way. But the Koreans were actually saying 'America! America!'
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 6:13 PM on March 27, 2007

Life Is Beautiful (La Vita è Bella) is great - but it's ultimately a fantasy, and it's hard to see a real cynic being very open to it. I also love Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind. And the Raymond Carver short story, "A Small, Good Thing". Although I don't know how to get a real cynic to sit through any of these things with an open mind. But I like you for trying :)

There's also this short little piece of writing I saw on everything2.com, which is not a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 10:24 AM on March 4, 2007

apologies for this being so long, but I felt it needed to be said

It would be easier for me to ask you to talk to someone, and I would like you to, very much so - but I don't know if you would. So I'll say a bit more, and hope you find some of it helpful.

I'm around the same age as you - I'm 24. I've teetered on the edge for many years of my life, and tried a few times to go over. These days 99.9% of the time I'm no... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 9:49 AM on March 4, 2007

I second GilGad: she may have different expectations from friendship than you. Some people like close, fairly intense, best friends do-everything-together type of friendship. Clearly that's not what you want.

And she may well be insecure as well of course, and doesn't know what kind of distance is appropriate. So she says she has plans when maybe she hasn't - it's almost like dating and playing hard-to-get in the belief that if she's too available... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 5:51 AM on January 26, 2007

Thanks everyone for the great recommendations!
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 1:25 AM on November 25, 2006

I don't know if this is THE best way, but I do it with a thin screwdriver - if you follow pyramid termite's advice and do it one string at a time, you can use the peg next to the one you're working on as fulcrum. Easier done than said! :)
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 7:12 PM on November 23, 2006

I haven't been through CBT with a therapist myself, but I've read the Feeling Good book that Rhiannon recommended, based on CBT, and have found it enormously helpful.

CBT also seems to assume that depression or lack of self belief is commonly founded in the inividual's life experience. (I dont feel that anything has happened to me to explain the way I now feel.)

No, if anything that's what CBT is not, and that's what many... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 3:54 PM on October 29, 2006

I'm late to this thread and I don't know if you've made your decision already, but I want to say that I'm in the same situation as digitalis - I broke off contact, had a year or so in which my mental health, ability to trust, confidence and relationships all improved dramatically, and then I let someone talk me into letting my family back into my life. It's something I regret almost every day, but it would now be so much crueler to cut them off twice. And I may yet have to do it.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 10:25 PM on October 27, 2006

I would love to have some kind of mental checklist or mechanism to put into use to prevent me caring so much about what I've said to people.

This may help. It's in the book catburger recommends, a great book based on cognitive therapy. You'll find that most if not all your anxious thoughts are built on these errors.

I also like jason's_planet's answer.

Ultimately you can't read people's minds, nor can... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 12:08 AM on October 25, 2006

My boyfriend is, amazingly, attracted to me - he tells me so frequently and often initiates sex, so I have no reason to disbelieve him.

I can't stop thinking about how I must look, and even though I rationally understand that my boyfriend probably isn't lying about being attracted to me, I can't actually make myself believe that it's true.

"Probably"? Is he crazy?... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 11:15 PM on October 24, 2006

Mp3 blogs! Others have already linked to Hype Machine, the mp3 blog aggregator. Type in the name of some of your favourite artists/bands/groups in the search box and you'll find mp3 blogs that have recently posted mp3s by your favourites. Look through their other entries, if they're to your liking too, bookmark them and you have an endless source of music recommendations. Some people have really obscure collections, and love to tell you about and let you sample them.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 10:01 PM on October 24, 2006

Definitely second Mark Thomas - he's a great standup comedian as well. Here's another link with more info about and clips of him - not sure if the clips are any good, as I'm on dialup. There are also, last time I checked, clips of him on youtube as well.

(by the way, most of your links aren't working?)
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 11:56 PM on October 21, 2006

I agree most with Melissa May's answer. There are many more people who are estranged from their family than you probably think.

You have nothing to be ashamed of - you've done nothing wrong. You're not a nutcase, or a weirdo. If anyone you meet thinks so, it's their problem and you wouldn't want them in your life.

I wouldn't lie or be evasive - if someone would judge you for this, wouldn't you want to find out early and save yourself some time... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 11:30 PM on October 21, 2006

NO! NO! DO NOT GO TO GARLIC AND SHOTS! EVER!

You will be making the biggest restaurant mistake of your life.

...if you're a *vampire*...

Just out of curiosity, what did they do to traumatise you so much? I'm intrigued. :)


Thanks very much everyone for all the suggestions! We're going next weekend, so there's still time if anyone has any more ideas. Right now it... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 4:43 AM on September 17, 2006

Wow randomination, guess I'll give them a miss then - thanks for suffering so we won't have to :)
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 6:55 PM on September 19, 2006

I'm not an expert guitarist by any means, and I don't know the Clapton song (nor is my computer willing to play it), but hopefully I'll be able to answer some of your questions.

For the "strumming-type" rhythms, the simple answer is you just strum. It takes a bit of practice to be able to switch from that to fingerpicking and back seamlessly, but it's not very difficult. You can strum with: your thumb/thumbnail/thumbpick only; the other four fingers only; the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Ira.metafilter at 3:12 AM on September 16, 2006