(I attribute this to his having very few sexual relationships prior to me, while I have been much more active)

While this may very well explain some of the difference in your understanding of the need to compromise in this situation, it is extremely unlikely that this explains the difference in your overall sex drives. It's not as though a person needs to have sex a certain number of times in a lifetime, and you've gone through more of your quota... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 7:13 PM on July 24, 2008

Never underestimate the appeal of baggy clothes.

Baggy clothes don't appeal to students these days. They like fitted, tight clothes. I give out t-shirts to college students, and our demand is something like 30% small, 25% medium, 25% large, 15% XL, and 5% XXL.
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 12:28 PM on July 24, 2008

No one is going to read posts that long. And they're certainly not going to click on ads or buy products if they're reading a short novel on your site. You need to keep your posts to a couple of hundred words or less.

Think about who your potential audience is going to be and how they're going to find you. If you're hoping to capture people who want to know about Indian outsourcing, you need to write lots of posts that say in the first sentence, "Hey, this is about... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 8:45 AM on July 22, 2008

I think it was the economist Tyler Cowen who pointed this out: if you're a reader with a well above average appetite, you will read perhaps 5,000 books in your entire life. That's if you read 1-2 books a week, every week, from the time you're in elementary school until you die, without rereading any.

Think about the number of books that have been written thusfar, and the number of books that are being written at this very moment, and the number of books that will be... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 8:05 PM on July 18, 2008

Do not try to tell them you feel the fees are unfair. You agreed to the fees when you opened the account. They will be unsympathetic to the "unfair" argument. If you don't like the terms of the account, open an account somewhere else where you like the terms better.

The reason that everyone is suggesting taking responsibility for your actions and throwing yourself on their mercy is that a personal connection works. Whining about life being unfair gets old, and... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 2:03 PM on July 18, 2008

I'm a woman, and I agree with game warden.

One time a couple of years ago, I went out for drinks and dinner with a guy, and it didn't become clear to me until the end of the evening (when he tried to hold my hand) that he considered it a date. Looking back on the way he asked me, he was very clearly trying to make it a date. I think he said something like , "why don't we go out to dinner on Friday, just the two of us, so that we can talk alone?" when he asked... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 1:41 PM on July 17, 2008

The Supreme Court agrees to hear fewer than 1 percent of the cases filed before it. The Court tends to choose cases where there are conflicts among multiple lower courts about an issue or where the issue it is deciding will set a wide-ranging precedent. The mere fact that a law is unconstitutional is often not enough; there are so many "good" cases by that standard that the Court couldn't possibly hear them all.

Contact an experienced constitutional attorney,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 1:33 PM on July 17, 2008

The Unclutterer Flickr pool is great. The idea is for people to show off their uncluttered, clean, well-decorated offices, some of which are eventually featured on the Unclutterer website. People have cool ways of organizing their collections and showcasing the things they love. It's very inspirational.
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 10:43 AM on July 17, 2008

You are providing a service to the other employees at your company by staying in the pool. That service comes at a detriment to you, financially. Basic economics says that they should pay you for this service. Either your company should cough up the money, or the individual employees who benefit should. It may seem crass, but you're giving them a huge benefit, and it shouldn't come at a cost to your son, who is innocent in all of this. You deserve to be compensated for the service you're... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 10:30 AM on July 17, 2008

Unless I am required to and have no other options, I do not interact with sites that use flash. As soon as I see flash, I hit the back button and never return. I know a lot of people who feel this way.
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 5:48 PM on July 16, 2008

State lotteries are run by for profit corporations that hold monopolies on the right to run games of chance in each state. Each state that has a lottery contracts with one or more corporations to administer their lotteries. Those corporations make huge profits, and they pay each state for the privilege of the monopoly by funding college scholarships. One corporation, GTech, runs 70 percent of the lotteries in the US.

The scholarship funds are basically bribes from... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 7:59 PM on July 15, 2008

I have never put my GPA on my resume. As a hiring manager, I tend to view people who use it as younger and less professionally mature than people who don't. My other pet peeve: a graduation year on a resume. I don't want to be able to pinpoint a candidate's age (in most cases) to within a year or two. Taking those items off will make you seem more experienced. Your education is a minimum hurdle you had to cross to prove you were qualified for your first few jobs. Now, let your work speak for... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 6:11 PM on July 14, 2008

An academic vita is not a resume. It's an entirely different animal, and the rules are completely different.
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 7:52 AM on July 15, 2008

You'd be telling your kids this in order to make your ex-wife look bad. You can dress it up any way you like, but under the surface, you want your kids to know that your ex-wife doesn't buy your kids as many things as they currently think she does, that she doesn't spend as much time with them as they currently think she does, and that she doesn't provide for them as well as they currently think she does. The fact that those things may all be true is irrelevant. You shouldn't attempt to lower... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 11:27 AM on July 14, 2008

Please, please, please don't make your kids deliver your child support checks for you, in an envelope or otherwise. That puts them in the middle of an adult financial arrangement that should be between you and your ex-wife. It's the equivalent of telling them passive-aggressive messages to tell to your ex, which is among the top no-nos if you want to continue to have a civil relationship in the family.

Even if it doesn't harm your kids emotionally, it will make your... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 1:16 PM on July 14, 2008

I think that you've ruled the best way of improving your writing: by writing. You say that you "don't want to write for a public audience again" until you've improved your writing, but writing for a public audience is the best way to improve your writing. You say that you "don't have enough free time" to write for online communities, but writing for others who will tell you when you're being understood and making good points is the best way to hone your craft. If you're not... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 8:41 AM on July 7, 2008

If you're not wedded to fiction, look at P.J. O'Rourke. I gave my little sister his All the Trouble in the World and Peace Kills when she was in high school, and she loved them. He self describes as libertarian leaning, and his books are hilarious takedowns of both the left and right establishments. Great stuff for teenagers, who are already inclined to question authority.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 9:00 AM on July 3, 2008

If I were the girlfriend, I would be intensely uncomfortable with the idea that my boyfriend had, on the occasion of my first visit to his parents' home, bullied them into letting me sleep with him when they were uncomfortable with the situation. It doesn't exactly engender positive feelings or contribute to a positive first impression.

I would let this go. The "their house, their rules" stuff that everyone else is saying above is all true. But in addition, if... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 10:18 PM on July 1, 2008

This kind of prosecution is shockingly common, and your friend very well may may go to jail, possibly for a very long time, if she does not proceed carefully. That means finding an attorney who has specific experience on these types of criminal drug cases, even if it costs money. Debt is less scary than actual prison.

There are nonprofit organizations dedicated to helping people persecuted for seeking pain medication. Try the Pain Relief Network or the Pain Foundation.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 10:53 AM on June 28, 2008

She needs to plead no-contest. This is indefensible.

She needs to plead whatever her attorney advises her to plead, which will most likely, at least initially, be not guilty. And her behavior is far from "indefensible." I can think of many ways to both defend the behavior itself and to defend against the legal charges being leveled. The asker hinted at some of them. Should this go to trial, this woman's attorney will likely employ some of... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 10:54 PM on June 30, 2008

You don't know how to fix her computer. You want to play, and you want to be right. The number one rule of being a grownup is "don't touch other people or their stuff without their permission." Don't break the rule.
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 10:41 PM on June 30, 2008

You should probably learn a bit about the industries you're criticizing before you unleash a nonsense stream of chatfilter that I can only hope will be deleted as soon as the mods see it.

But just in case it isn't, here's some actual evidence to combat your bizarre junk mail theory. "The Postal Service, suffering from a decline in the number of letters sent between individuals and in customer bills as result of the Internet, depended on direct mail for about a third... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 9:34 AM on June 30, 2008

Frame your answer in terms of what you do want to do, not in terms of what you don't want to do. They're worried mostly because you seem to be drifting and doing nothing. If you have a plan, even if the plan is unorthodox, that will make a lot of people feel better. Plus, you really do need to know what you're going to do; it doesn't have to be a 9-to-5 job, or even a paying job; but it does need to be something.
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 12:13 PM on June 29, 2008

You will be better than her at some things. She will be better than you at some things. This is true of anything you do. There will always be people who are better than you and people who are worse than you. So if she insists on following your every move and copying everything you do, there will be times when she will "win" and times when you will "win." The way to really win is to do what you really wanted to do in the first place, recognizing that she's going to copy you,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 10:49 AM on June 29, 2008

They're definitely throwing it. A friend of mine just got back from there a week ago, and he saw it in person.
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 12:22 AM on June 29, 2008

What if you wore a non undershirt t-shirt under your polo? Get some lightweight, solid colored t-shirts in colors other than white that coordinate with your polo shirt colors, and wear those under your polos. No chest hair, no white collar, and you get a nice pop of color next to your face.
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 12:53 PM on June 27, 2008

Don't base your behavior on your fear that he might react the same way now that he did when he was 22 to the idea of commitment. If he is truly as immature now as he was when he was 22, you should find that out now. But most people mature significantly in the 3 years between 22 and 25. I think that you should take the plunge and ask him what he wants from the future, and specifically from the future of your relationship. Don't issue an ultimatum, and don't make demands. Just ask him what he... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 7:16 PM on June 23, 2008

Dittoing not asking people to call you. If they wanted to call you, they would have. I hate calling people, and I will avoid if at all possible doing business with anyone who seems to require a phone call. Let them make appointments by email, and make it clear in your initial response that you welcome appointments made by email.
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 5:28 PM on June 22, 2008

What is in California that draws you there? Why do you think your life will be better there?
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 5:21 PM on June 22, 2008

My boss still uses both the Yellow Pages and a newspaper clipping service.
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 6:23 PM on June 21, 2008

is it okay to explicitly tell partners that you don't want to hear about their sexual histories?

Absolutely. I have a friend who is very happily married who told her husband when they got serious, "I need to know if you've been married before, if you have any children, and if you have any communicable diseases. If you were a virgin when we met, I probably would have been able to tell the first time we slept together, but I don't want to know... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 10:26 PM on June 14, 2008

Virtually no one yet has answered the question. It's not "what treatments should I try if I want to stop getting migraines?" It's "I get migraines. How do I tell my boss and coworkers that I may need time off at work to deal with them?" I'm going to assume that the asker is receiving medical treatment from a doctor who is infinitely more qualified to tell her/him how to prevent and treat migraines than we are.

In answer to the actual question, I would... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 9:59 AM on June 14, 2008 marked best answer

You should acknowledge the flaws in your performance without talking about your medical issues. There is no reason for your employers to know about your health unless you are requesting an accommodation for a disability, and it can only hurt you if you tell them about mental illness that you're dealing with. Let them tell you what areas they think you've done well in and where you need to improve, tell them what you plan to do to improve your performance in the areas where you've been lacking,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 7:00 PM on June 13, 2008

If you are going to use an extension cord, go to a hardware store and get an extension cord meant for high-power appliances. Don't use one of the dinky little ones you may have lying around. Those big honking orange ones are specially made to prevent problems. Ask at the store what sort you should buy for this sort of situation.

Sealing: I use a combination of cardboard, the plastic sheeting meant to seal windows for winter, and duct tape. Basically, you're going to have... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 7:02 PM on June 9, 2008

Wait, are you saying that you have one outlet, as in one single socket into which to plug an appliance, and you're considering getting a splitter and plugging two things into that one socket? Or do you have one wall plate that has two sockets in it, one of which has the fridge plugged into it and the other of which you're proposing to plug the extension cord for the AC into? Because the former is a bad idea, while the latter is just fine.

If you only have one socket... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 9:16 PM on June 9, 2008

How big was the salad? Is it possible that you didn't eat enough food, and your body is still hungry? (This happens to me sometimes even if my stomach doesn't feel empty, if I eat food that doesn't have enough calories to satisfy my body's needs).
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 12:43 PM on June 9, 2008

I would break up with a guy I was dating if I found out that he had been lying about his age for any length of time. It's one of those facts that, while it's not super-important to a lot of people, is so basic that lying about it seems likely to be indicative of dishonesty generally. In fact, the less important the fact is (and I think that age is pretty unimportant), the more likely it is that lying about it will make other people think you're some kind of pathological liar. Even if you think... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 10:13 PM on June 8, 2008

Write a letter talking about your friend's qualifications for office. Why would he make a good judge, better than the candidates he's running against? Why do you plan to vote for him, and why do you believe that others should do the same? Write a paragraph or two about those things, about his desire to serve the community, and send that in.

No one cares that your friend's friends dislike a newspaper article that said a few less than flattering things about him (and that... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 9:23 PM on June 8, 2008

TomMelee, I work for a nonprofit that only accepts resumes by email. My last job, also at a nonprofit, was the same. It is becoming more and more usual.

I've been working on hiring for 6 years, and I hate paper resumes. They annoy me, and the people who send them stick in my mind as annoying people. I realize that this is a personal quirk, and that some people feel the opposite way, but I just want to refute the "paper=win" advice. If you're applying for a job... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 2:24 AM on June 8, 2008

I'm with nuclear_soup's mom: these exercises are almost universally awful. They are infantilizing and make everyone feel ridiculous. In fact, the only way that they have ever helped to bond me with my fellow event-goers is when we bonded over how stupid it was that we spent time that otherwise could have been productive work time on such nonsense. I have never learned anything that I wanted to know about a fellow event-goer from such an exercise.

Your goal is to make it... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 2:16 AM on June 8, 2008

The question didn't ask whether someone who is bored by the show would be bored visiting a therapist; it asked whether someone who is bored by the show would be bored acting as a therapist.

In answer to that question: no, not necessarily. There are lots of things that would be excruciatingly dull to watch someone else do on TV, but that many people find very stimulating in real life. I've worked as a writer for chunks of my career, and if I saw a TV show where someone... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 11:12 PM on June 7, 2008

I haven't gone to a doctor because going to the doctor is a big hassle. It wastes at least half a day in waiting rooms (probably more if I need x-rays and other nonsense), and in the lead-up to this conference, I don't have much, or any spare time. I realize that erring on the side of caution is a good thing, but I also don't want to give up a day of work and then have to pull an all-nighter the day before the conference to assemble binders or some such nonsense.
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 10:42 AM on June 6, 2008

You've convinced me to go to a clinic tomorrow for an x-ray (which, of course, I should have just done in the first place). Oh boy am I going to be annoyed if it's broken. Will update to let you know the outcome. Thanks for all the great advice.
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 8:27 PM on June 6, 2008

What does "eco-lodge" mean to you?
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 4:50 PM on June 2, 2008

People expecting you to put your day on hold because they can't be bothered to wake up before the day is half over are being silly.

People who keep different schedules that you do are not being silly, they are simply keeping different schedules than you do. Maybe they work nights. Maybe they have babies who are on weird sleep schedules. Maybe they are night owls and prefer to stay up late and sleep late. It's none of your business. The fact is that... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 3:22 PM on June 1, 2008

A commodity is a particular type of good, one where each unit is of roughly uniform quality such that units produced by different producers can be traded at the same price regardless of where they came from. Coal, iron, soybeans, gold, pork bellies: these are commodities. Prices for these items can be set by a board of trade rather than by a free market in trade because the price that each producer would be able to command for his/her goods would, in theory, be the same, because the goods are... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 11:54 AM on June 1, 2008 marked best answer

Whatever benefits you offer for married people with kids, be sure that single people without kids aren't left out in the cold.

If you offer paid maternity and paternity leave, have paid family leave for people who take time off to care for sick family members. Recent studies have shown that given current lifespans, most of us will spend more of our lives caring for our parents than we will caring for our children, and such caregiving can have a significant effect on... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 1:10 AM on May 31, 2008

I definitely feel strange taking my shoes off in strangers' houses. Unless it's the home of someone I know well and the activity is very casual, such as sitting around watching TV, I just don't feel good being barefoot in a stranger's home. Even when I'm staying overnight in the home of someone I don't know very well, if it's a shoes-optional home, I tend to leave my shoes on except when I'm in the room I'm sleeping in or in the bathroom. It just feels better to me. I wouldn't feel right in my... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 8:53 PM on May 26, 2008 marked best answer

Question for the shoes-off folks: say you're at the door of your house, ready to leave for the day, and you've put on and tied your shoes. You're in a hurry because you're running late. All of a sudden, you realize that you left an important item that you're going to need today in your bedroom. Do you take your shoes off again to run to your bedroom to get the item, even though that would mean wasting valuable time taking them off and putting them back on again? Is the idea of walking in your... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 8:53 AM on May 28, 2008

I assume when you say "diet," you mean "self-imposed weight loss diet," and not "eating plan in which I am only allowed to eat certain foods at certain times prescribed by a doctor to combat some medical condition." If the latter, please see your doctor for a revised eating plan. If the latter, you need to reevaluate your weight loss plan, because it is jeopardizing your health. Your body is trying to tell you that it is not getting enough fuel to sustain the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by decathecting at 2:47 PM on May 27, 2008