i wonder if the problem is more simple. maybe try brushing up on your hygiene. personally, i have a supersonic sense of smell, and i've been standoffish in the past when i couldn't find a polite way to say "i like you but you stink".

so, in the couple hours before you see her next time, give yourself a man-spa:
get a haircut, shave or trim your facial hair.
poke your tonsils in case you have tonsilloliths that are stkinking up your... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 8:30 AM on July 16, 2008

1. everyone picks their nose.
2. eating boogers won't hurt you (i did a personal study through my entire youth), but
3. eating boogers will hurt your sexiness. even if she "doesn't mind", it's not sexy.
4. therefore, do it only when you're alone, and away from windows.
5. and don't talk about it. keep it your own little salty secret.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 12:21 AM on July 11, 2008

Wall-E uses a couple of cheesy songs from Hello, Dolly! to great effect.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 1:32 PM on July 6, 2008

the poster's previous question seems relevant to link here, re: schizophrenia & blindness.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 1:03 PM on July 6, 2008

i took the amtrak between toronto & penn station NYC a few times last year; i found it very pleasant. it's clean and calm, and amtrak trains have plugs so you can charge a laptop (although no wifi). the washrooms on board the trains are quite clean, and have running water.

on the train, i think the snack car is the best place to sit- it's very airy and bright. i usually take over one of the 6 tables in that car for pretty much the whole ride, rather than sit in... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 6:21 PM on July 5, 2008

a good store identity & specialty (occult? art? history? film?)
comfy furniture: comfy chairs, wood, maybe a fireplace if possible.
lighting: natural light coupled with warm golden artificial lighting.
slightly dusty smartypants kitsch (section signs made of scrabble tiles?).
some books faced out so the shelves are interesting to look at.
the bookstore i frequent has a small, smart, very lazy dvd rental section with no due... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 1:34 PM on July 4, 2008

seconding into the woods, that dvd is great.
you might also look around for broadway DVDs starring mandy patinkin and patti lupone- those two tend to really give'r.

and there are a TON of great boradway numbers existing as clips on youtube.
for instance, this clip of sutton foster singing show off from the drowsy chaperone.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 1:06 PM on July 4, 2008

also, this thread has some suggestions.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 1:18 PM on July 4, 2008

aioli, or garlic mayo, is yummers.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 4:40 PM on July 3, 2008

is it possible you're getting heat output from incandescent light bulbs? you may get some results from switching to fluorescent light bulbs- sounds like a minor change, but it made a big difference in my apartment.

also, be sure to keep all window coverings closed all day, even on non-south facing windows- and use light-coloured window coverings, as dark colours will absorb heat.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 4:36 PM on July 3, 2008

@ nadawi:
... i know you say she's not verbally abusive to him, but getting in his face, getting "loud", not allowing him to leave a room, and screaming swears at him sounds far worse than being called a cunt from time to time.

seriously? did you actually read the question? the OP stated that the woman swore at him once, and was slapped in return. did you notice the part about the slapping and the pushing? please don't... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 1:25 PM on July 3, 2008

get her a guitar and maybe a couple at-home lessons to start off, then show her how to find guitar tutorials on youtube so she can spend the summer learning to play songs by artists she likes. those youtube demos & covers are really inspiring- it's so cool hearing people's individual & imperfect covers of so many different songs in unexpected styles.

if price is a factor when looking for a guitar, you can probably find one at a good rate on... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 4:26 PM on June 7, 2008

oh my gosh, la petite marie, yes, stabilo boss. it's months later and it's 4 am and i just saw this link and immediately recalled this question. when i said faber-castell above, stabilo boss is what i meant. holy blast from fourth grade!
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 1:13 AM on June 7, 2008

The Shawshank Redemption is pretty faithful to Stephen King's novella, Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption (in the collection Different Season). The pacing is very close and much of the dialogue & narration are verbatim.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 9:35 PM on June 1, 2008

in canada: BOCE brand recycled toilet paper. i see it at many dollar stores. it's from quebec, it comes in 4-packs, and it's about $0.25 / roll. i admit that it's not exactly like wiping your butt on a fluffy kitten, but it's recycled toilet paper, and it's quite soft.
the environmentalist in me would like to point out that non-recycled toilet paper is made from old growth forests.
if you find non-luxury toilet paper too rough, you can keep a bottle of light,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 1:29 PM on June 1, 2008

hmm... i don't get that dialogue. i'm trying to delete from the library, not from a playlist (good call on that, though- i made that mistake a few times too!)
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 1:19 PM on June 1, 2008

you can buy a pull up bar that cantilevers in a doorframe, or a spring-loaded one that fits in the doorframe like a curtain rod.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 9:02 PM on May 19, 2008

i used to be too nervous to improvise in public because i'd try too hard to play perfectly. a little wine worked a charm. use with moderation.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 8:54 PM on May 19, 2008

OP, i worry for your wallet. i don't necessarily smell a con- for one thing, the pics probably do exist, as the woman can easily show the OP the photos (probably already has). and i buy that this person might have a lapse in judgement, take the shots, then want the pics taken off the net. that scenario is way more plausible to me than the idea that she's running some sort of boyfriend-as-photographer ruse, which is way too elaborate and takes way too long.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 8:52 PM on May 19, 2008

i try to keep my inbox to inbox zero (except that actual zero is too lonely so i always keep one funny or sweet email from a friend in there to pad it out and make me smile).

i also try to use my inbox as a to-do list.
generally, my rule is that if anything is in my inbox, it needs a response from me, asap.


now that i'm used to inbox zero, my inbox is like tetris- the higher it is, the closer i am to drowning &... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 12:42 PM on May 11, 2008

i thought the man-faces-wall rule was developed by men who realized that if they faced the room, their hunter/lecher eyes would dart all over the place, attracted by movement in the rest of the room, or possibly by other women-- both of which might annoy the woman he's dining with.

i guess if you decide to let gender/chivalry rules apply at all, the polite & traditional thing would be to stand back & give the lady first pick.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 12:25 PM on May 11, 2008 marked best answer

If it's male pattern baldness, your doctor is not going to be able to do squat for it anyway.

this is incorrect; the doc could prescribe finasteride.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 11:42 PM on May 4, 2008

my vegan friend is really into Golden Thai at richmond and jarvis.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 12:08 AM on February 17, 2008

my cat does this too. i think it's because he's kind of a jerk.

the things that work best are to
a) keep him awake in the evening and play with him a lot,
b) put on a birds-n-squirrels DVD all evening to tire out his tiny brain.

if he meows anyway, you have three tactics:

1. lazy cop detes the criminal: if he's loose in the house, shut the bedroom door and place a small fan outside the door at... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 11:07 AM on February 15, 2008

oops, lazy cop "deters" the criminal.
meow.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 11:07 AM on February 15, 2008

"what's your favourite painting?"
"oh wow, i haven't thought about that much. i do like art, though- there are a few painters i really like, maybe something by basquiat or van gogh? this is the kind of question that's gonna haunt me all week (big grin!) i'll be calling you at 6am next tuesday to blurt "sunday in the park!" (smile) what's yours?"

"tell me about yourself."

as a general rule... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 11:25 PM on February 13, 2008

i say don't announce it. just stop talking about your sex life & the past engagement.

when you do get into a relationship, obviously, tell your partner the truth (that you're a virgin), and ask her to be discreet about the fact that they are your first.

if any of your friends ever asks, say you decided to stop talking so openly about your romantic life.

if anyone flat-out calls you on lying, admit it in as... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 10:49 PM on February 13, 2008

oops, sorry, i meant to remove the "hers" in favour of gender neutral pronouns, didn't meant to be assumptive.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 10:50 PM on February 13, 2008

thanks for the tips, all!

heatherann, great advice! i emailed them. thanks!

onshi, the sign i saw was about 8 feet long and had the name of every streetcar route on it. it was so great- like a strip map of toronto.

if i find anything, i'll post.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 10:44 PM on February 3, 2008

i think you might be complicating things. i know a bunch of illustrators who pencil and/or ink by hand, then scan and send their files in as big, high-res jpegs. the publisher can then either "ink" in photoshop by adjusting the contrast. none of my illustrator friends draw their actual pages on a wacom (although some of them do layouts that way, then print the layouts and use them as trace guides to pencil by hand over them. anyway, sounds like you'd be better off with a scanner... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 10:36 PM on February 3, 2008

ask a favour of him.

recently i was similarly frustrated by a roommate. the guy in my case has a different disposition than yours- but the crux is that he doesn't pick up on social cues, so he unknowingly makes a pest of himself (talks too much, messy, loud). the rest of us were pulling out our hair.

i have a personal practice of not taking favours from people i dislike- it seems exploitative and lacking in integrity- but i was dying for a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 10:24 PM on February 3, 2008

the drugs don't work by the verve (ben harper does a great cover, too)
also, hold on by sarah mclachlan.
and i've always thought lucky old sun by louis armstrong kind of has that feel too.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 3:05 PM on February 1, 2008 marked best answer

oh gosh, musical theatre!
from evita, don't cry for me argentina
from les miserables: a little fall of rain (eponine's death), come to me (fantine's death), and valjean's death (start around 2:25 on that video).
and from rent, there's tom collins' gorgeous reprise of i'll cover you.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 9:50 PM on February 1, 2008 marked best answer

i'm a pretty efficient lady but it takes me forever to pee. i hate public washrooms, so i save it up until it's a dire emergency. (come to think of it, i'm holding a pee right now). from this habit, i have developed a massive bladder and i pee TONS, it takes me over a minute of peeing to empty my bladder each time- and that's certainly not counting the pants-down or cleanup. i'm talking like 750mL of pee at a time (i've measured). it's really unhealthy- and it means i'll never beat you in a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 2:42 PM on February 1, 2008

if any dads or male relatives are scanning this thread for advice: the best advice i can give you is NEVER LET ON THAT YOU KNOW. gross, i would have HATED that.

if you're a close older female relative, you could explain a few key pieces of advice that i wish someone had given me- or put some of this stuff in a care package:

tampons: they will hurt at first, but in a few years' time, they will probably seem like the most convenient answer. for... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 2:32 PM on February 1, 2008 marked best answer

there are some oldish, low-rise (like 5 storey walkup) buildings right on the east side of roncy, like a block or two south of the loblaws.. a one-bedroom in one of those is $850. they're not palatial or anything, but they're pretty cute- there's a small bay window in the living room of each unit, for instance. i forget the addy, sorry- but i've seen them come up on craigslist once in a while.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 10:19 PM on January 31, 2008

i don' t think you actually need to bring anything-- but i'd want to in your position, too. how about some kind of fun candy? maybe something a little interactive- like a candy necklace/watch set that she can wear and be cute and funny, or something big enough to share, like a mini gumball machine (the specialty candy store near me has these for like $5), or a bag of jelly bellies. or something retro, like a bunch of 80s candy? big chew shreddy gum, nerds, pop rocks? put it all in a little... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 3:30 PM on January 31, 2008

can you write them each a really personal letter about why you love them and what makes them so awesome? and give them to them at the end of a big group dinner?
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 4:31 PM on January 27, 2008

i highly recommend the DVD of sondheim's into the woods. it's delightful. the stories of cinderella, red riding hood, rapunzel, and beanstock jack all collide when a childless couple makes a deal with an evil witch. the cast is fantastic.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 2:38 PM on January 27, 2008

if you do it, make sure to take care of the puddles- generously sprinkle them with sand, gravel, or cat litter and maybe a little salt (go easy on the salt, thought, it's awful for the environment and your car. mix it at least half-and-half with something non-evil, hence the sand, gravel, cat litter).
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 2:34 PM on January 27, 2008

DON'T KISS HER QUICK!!!

UGH!

it's so GROSS when guys do this. i hate it. what are you, seven? first kisses are supposed to be slow and sweet and sexy, not dabbly and pecky and punchy.

here's how to have a nice first kiss:

hang out. drink a little bit if you're into that. chew some gum to make your mouth not stink. talk. talk about her. say something nice about her. look at her eyes and... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 9:20 PM on January 22, 2008

correction- i should have linked the router description above to this page. it's the 2701 HG-G, SSID Bell 999. apparently it has a speed of up to 8MB/sec, which is more than my 7MB/sec wire line can deliver anyway.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 4:48 PM on January 22, 2008

thanks for the answers so far. the router doesn't have a visible antenna, so i'm not exactly sure where on it the signal originates. it's kind of shaped like a vertical slice of toast- the link in my question shows a photo of it.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 5:10 PM on January 22, 2008

this is great. long ago, me & a classmate passed a nasty pink gardeing glove back and forth for several months, these jokes rock. i suggest you....

send the lobster to their friends' house before the next time the friends have your folks over for dinner. arrange it all by phone- have the hosting friends present the lobster in some really dramatic way- "serve" it for dinner under a dome- or put it somewhere your folks will stumble upon it themselves-... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 5:07 PM on January 22, 2008

i think their lips always look so naked and froggy- so i call it kermit mouth.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 8:43 AM on January 15, 2008

superbad. rogan and goldberg came up with it when they were 13.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 6:13 PM on January 14, 2008

dang.

um, also, it's not a movie, but michael cera and clark duke are pretty young, and clark and michael will probably appeal.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 6:15 PM on January 14, 2008

i love the scores for jeunet's amelie and darabont's the shawshank redemption.
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 5:59 PM on January 14, 2008

oh, i just saw your clarification above about seeking films where the score propels the movie. i think that the scores in all three of the paul thomas anderson films i've seen (magnolia, punch drunk love, and there will be blood), are reeeally prominent, and push the stories into more intense territory. in all three cases, some really mundane scenes suddenly seem insanely portentious because of the music.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 6:07 PM on January 14, 2008

i'm not a doctor, but i am a canadian. are you perhaps feeling a touch of the seasonal affect disorder? try sleeping with the curtains open so you get sun in the morning, stare into bright lights when you wake up, go outside a few times when it's sunny, and add some extra workouts, healthy food, and more caffeine to your diet. join the gym, then tell your parents you've joined the gym, and then go there about *half* the time you say you're going there- the other half, go for a photography... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by twistofrhyme at 5:56 PM on January 14, 2008