Scam. Real jobs pay you, you don't pay them.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 7:59 PM on July 24, 2008

I broke up with her and married someone who has a sex drive similar than mine.

I say that not to dismiss your concerns, but to underline how fundamental an active sex life is for some people. Kudos to you for proactively looking to address this, rather than allowing it to be a festering sore in the relationship.

In my experience, there are a set of basic answers here.

First is that it takes compromise on both sides, not... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 7:24 PM on July 24, 2008

I wish we had anonymous answering.

There basically is -- you can mail a moderator (or sometimes a fellow Mefite), who will post your comments anonymously. It's imperfect -- Jessamyn or whomever knows who you are, and no one can easily mail you to ask a followup. But it works, and is done with some frequency.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 7:27 PM on July 24, 2008

Do you live in an apartment, or do you have some sort of yard that you can work in? If you have land (or can get a plot in a community garden), you can garden, build landscaping out of the heaviest stones and concrete blocks you can find, plant trees, dig holes and fill them back up, and so on.

If you are in an apartment, what about volunteering with a non-profit that rehabs houses or builds new ones from scratch? Even someone without any skills is welcome, because stuff... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 4:04 PM on July 24, 2008

it's always easier to get into an elite school for grad school when you do undergrad there

correction: It is always easier to get into one elite grad school when you do undergrad at another elite school.

Second layer of correction: It is always easier to get into one elite grad school when you performed very strongly at another elite school. Scraping through and getting the gentleman's A- at the Ivy isn't nearly as impressive... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 11:59 AM on July 24, 2008

Googling "academic cv" turns up a number of how-to guides and postings of professors' CVs (predominantly US, however -- US/UK academic culture is similar but not identical, so use local advice rather than US advice where possible). Lots of US graduate departments and university career centers also have "how to" guides on their websites.

In the US, CVs follow a pretty set format, with minimal action verbs. The teaching section, for example, might have... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 9:57 AM on July 24, 2008

Also, take a look at the first three results from this google search -- there are plenty of sites dedicated to addressing the minutia of US/UK CV differences.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 10:01 AM on July 24, 2008

You may have already done so, but you can tap into a vast reservoir of motorcycle-specific knowledge on forums like advrider and all the many others.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 7:44 AM on July 24, 2008

I would suggest looking at the list of "colleges that change lives," plus places like Deep Springs and Berea.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 7:16 PM on July 23, 2008

I've always thought about going back to get a career-changing 2nd degree. If I ever get motivated, ...

A lot of the places being suggested (Reed, Deep Springs, etc) are most emphatically not set up for the late-in-life mind expander student. You get maybe one or so a year second-time-around-people enrolling, but the student body at those places is overwhelmingly young, and the few people who aren't young are getting their first degree. (They often... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 7:53 PM on July 23, 2008

The part that sounds weird to me is wanting to put in all the work and agony of starting a hostel, with the intention of shutting it down after the first year. Just getting the permits, finding the right property, hiring staff, and starting to get advertising and clients could take most of a year -- why would you invest that kind of effort only to immediately drop it?

I guess what I'm asking is, are you sure that you are asking about opening a guesthouse, or is the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 9:16 PM on July 22, 2008

If you can work on a Vespa, you can work on a car. You will need a few more tools, but the same approach of reading the repair manual, scratching your head, and chatting with the people at the parts store will work fine. Very late model cars are much more complicated (but are outside your budget), and unusual brands (including Volvos) are much harder to source parts when you are traveling or if you live in a small town, and a lot of mechanics won't know their intricacies.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 7:24 PM on July 22, 2008 marked best answer

Defrost it, all the way. Many fridges have a connection between top and bottom; when that gets blocked with ice the temperature control gets all wonky (note extensive technical terms here). A mild defrosting may not melt the ice down in this tube; you need to either let the fridge warm totally, or find a way to open the connection with warm water, a piece of wire, etc -- leaving it to defrost is the easiest.

The coils underneath shouldn't be a problem (unless your... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 7:03 PM on July 22, 2008

Madison, WI.

I would say that almost any smaller city with a huge university will work, like Madison, Eugene, Ithaca, or Ames (and even some larger places like Austin are possibilities). Lots of students don't have cars, plus all the semi-hippy hangers-on, so not having a car isn't unusual; there are usually plenty of very walkable residential neighborhoods close to services; sometimes decent public transport; and the small scale of those towns means... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 5:09 PM on July 22, 2008

I think the yummiest way to cook those is like you do for "chicken under a brick": butterflied, seasoned, and pan-fried with a weight on top.

This link has helpful pictures of how you do this with a largish chicken -- game hen is easier because it is smaller, but the theory is exactly the same. Here is a much more elaborate version, complete with partial boning and finishing in the oven. Do that if you want the extra work, but there is no necessity for doing... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 1:48 PM on July 22, 2008

I always read phrases like "I'm not emotionally available" as a nice way of saying "I'm not all that into you at this time."

That doesn't mean "over my dead body" -- but it does mean not you, not now. Given time, maybe it could be you, or maybe not -- but if you push for an answer right now, it's going to be "no."

The answer I would suggest giving is something like Let's take things slow, let's hang out... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 11:22 AM on July 22, 2008

Is asking if a new partner is clean a pointless question? What I mean is "should one put any stock in the answer a new casual partner says?"

My assumption is that it is pretty pointless. A lot of people with STDs don't know they have them -- only someone who has had a positive test and is honest will say "yes" to your question. And people don't totally agree about the parameters of who has or doesn't have an... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 9:03 PM on July 21, 2008

To add another wrinkle of complication to this, saying "I was tested" or "have you been tested?" means very different things to different people. Minimally, it usually means HIV testing; sometimes people include syphilis and gonorrhea, plus chlamydia and a few others; men can't (I think) be tested for HPV, while a younger woman may have had the vaccine and may not; and so on. I've had a number of STD screenings, but I'm pretty sure I was never tested for herpes, for example.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 6:15 AM on July 22, 2008

Honestly, I think that having the goal of "making it through" is perfectly sufficient for the moment. By that I mean basically doing the minimum -- having a shower, eating lunch, giving your boyfriend a hug (if he is in town) or a brief email (if it is long distance), going for a walk, etc. Changing the world, figuring out your post-college trajectory, being the most awesome girlfriend/daughter/friend/person ever -- all that can wait a few weeks until you get back with the therapist,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 6:21 AM on July 21, 2008

You can just go to a regular doctor -- you do not need a specialist. You will probably be prescribed mebendazole, because it is a broad spectrum anti-wormer that kills lots of varieties and the side effects are not usually too bad.

You can combine this with getting a primary care doctor, or just go to to a walk-in clinic, if that is faster. They may want to do a fecal sample to confirm the worm infestation, or they may take your word for it and just give you the worming... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 6:14 AM on July 20, 2008

The general formula is that in almost all cases keeping an older car on the road is cheaper than buying a new one. There are exceptions -- if your car caught on fire and needed a total restoration, it would not be cost effective to do that much work to an old car. But as a general rule, keeping it running is cheaper. (The complications come not from repair cost, but from harder to monetize issues like safety, handling, and inconvenience of random breakdowns -- if those things become an issue, it... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 11:17 PM on July 18, 2008

And what kind of a girl goes into another man's room late at night to give a massage?

The normal kind?

Really, although the massage parlor thing sounds kind of sad, the rest of her story just doesn't sound like all that big a deal to me. Some people really want to date people their own age; other people really like dating people much older or younger than they are. Sure, maybe they have "issues," but don't we all?... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 11:02 PM on July 18, 2008

According to the survey discussed in this Slate article, rates of anal and oral sex are way up over the last decade or so:

One in three women admits to having had anal sex by age 24. By ages 25 to 44, the percentages rise to 40 for men and 35 for women. And that's not counting the 3.7 percent of men aged 15 to 44 who've had anal sex with other men.

The last time major national surveys asked about this practice, in the early 1990s, only... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 5:37 AM on July 18, 2008

Can someone explain this one to me? You have to do these things to own your girl? What sort of owning is this?

I'd agree that there can definitely be a "marking of territory" aspect to facials; anal sex is for many people a marker of intimacy and trust and closeness, extending that to "ownership" isn't too far of a reach. In this essay on Nerve, the author writes:

... I refuse to have anal sex.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 5:44 AM on July 18, 2008

Oh, and one thing that internet porn has done for me is make me realize that there are more than a few things that I think are incredibly hot to see or read about, but are kinda "meh" to actually do. Prior to the internet, a lot of these things wouldn't have crossed my consciousness, or at least not in such quantity.

I may be the outlier on this, but I've had the opposite experience. Pre-internet, the vast majority of my porn exposure was... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 3:58 PM on July 18, 2008

You've gotten some really good advice here on types and models of pistols to try, and places to shoot them, so I won't repeat any of that.

I want to urge you, unless you are in the unusual position of never ever having a child in the house or friends visiting, to buy one of those little handgun safes with a touch-combination lock. You can bolt it to the floor or a piece of furniture (to make theft harder); the lock is easy to operate by touch in the dark.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 5:56 AM on July 18, 2008

This is probably a YMMV situation, in that every person is different and prefers different approaches.

But I've always had the best luck with being clear and direct (which does not mean being crass or sleazy). A lot of guys (and I used to do this, too) will go through the most amazing contortions to avoid the possibility of a refusal. They do the whole self-deprecating thing, they say something like "hey, wanna hang out sometime, but it's totally cool if you're busy,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 5:19 AM on July 18, 2008

You say your current guy is "more about pleasing me," rather than being controlling like your exes. I think that the conversation you need to have is telling him that you need him to become more dominant/controlling/in charge in order for you to be satisfied.

My saying that doesn't immediately solve your fear of being made fun of for articulating your needs -- that sounds a bit like something talking with a therapist might help with, honestly. But I do think... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 5:37 AM on July 17, 2008

First, make sure you have read the standard "how to get through grad school" books, like Getting What You Came For and the rest.

Second, for your specific communication issue, how about changing the format of the conversation? If talking in person won't work because he free-associates randomly, what about email? Or writing him a two-page "critical response" mini-essay every week or two about the books you are reading, to which he... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 9:33 PM on July 16, 2008

First, stop jerking off. Stop. Entirely stop. No really, not just this once, no exceptions, stop completely. You need to retrain your body, and that won't happen if you keep giving it what it is used to.

Second, order a sample pack of condoms from somewhere like Condomania; you want to find something that fits well and transmits a lot of sensation. (There have been some previous AskMes on condom recommendations, I think, which may help guide your shopping.) If moving to... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 1:15 PM on July 16, 2008

Just to give one more option, you can buy a compressor and nailer combination really cheap if you watch the Home Depot/Sears/Lowes/etc sales -- that can end up cheaper than renting (assuming that you work as slowly as I do) and lets you keep the tools for future projects.

My thinking would be that you've done the hard part already, so why not take the time to figure out the finish work? Hand nailing can work (especially if you predrill, use the right hammer, and so on),... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 9:28 AM on July 15, 2008

Find a town formerly dominated by the logging industry and locate the closest thing it has to an organic grocery store/farmers coop.
Ask around about renting land to park on. Negotiate deal.
Proceed further up a road into the densely forested mountains. You will know you're on the right sort of road if it has a dead-end or eventually turns into an impassably gravel logging road with no outlet. The poverty of the region is directly proportional to the percentage... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 8:38 PM on July 14, 2008

however and wherever you find places to park for a while, call the local agency that's responsible for land use regulation to check that it's kosher. In the U.S. most cities and sizable suburbs and exurbs will have their own Planning Department, and rural areas will own do the same sort of thing on a county level.

As someone who lives in the west, I would categorically say that this is the last thing you would want to do. There is very little ability... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 8:43 PM on July 14, 2008

Why would you be willing to take on $2300 payments for a $250,000 house (unless that is the mortgage plus insurance plus taxes)? A 30 year mortgage at 8% (assuming not-great credit) is only a bit over $1800/month for the mortgage, according to an online calculator I just checked.

"Ditch this clown and buy another house!"

To be honest, that's my advice. There are a lot of houses for sale, and 99% of them don't have... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 8:46 PM on July 12, 2008

Are you 100% sure that his bank (or I suppose really, his friend's bank) will allow you to assume the mortgage? The paperwork I signed to get my mortgage specifically prohibits handing the mortgage over to someone else. Now, if I were facing a foreclosure my bank might decide that transferring the mortgage is a better deal for them than reclaiming the house, but the language of the paperwork suggest that this is an option they do not approve of.

I'm getting a 6.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 5:48 AM on July 13, 2008

A google search for "overweight sex positions" turns up a lot of results on that subject (and more and more). It's a common concern, and there are a lot of webpages discussing this issue.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 8:33 PM on July 12, 2008

Maybe the literary executors destroyed all the question marks that could have been used in this piece of ChatFilter?
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 10:59 AM on July 12, 2008

Have sex in every room -- make that place yours.

Especially if they are moving into your place -- it's not a new place you are moving into together -- allow them to make it theirs. Getting rid of furniture, clearing your junk out of the bathroom and kitchen, and so on, really helps make them not feel like they are camped out as a guest in your place.

Date nights! Living with someone, it can be easy to just take them for... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 9:54 AM on July 12, 2008

On the eating front, take a look at Weight Watchers. A close friend just signed up, and I had a chance to look through all the materials. I was struck by how basic and straightforward it was -- you could reduce it to "eat real food, eat moderately, add physical activity, and make sure that you eat a well-balanced mix of food." I don't know what the meetings are like, or how much it costs, or anything like that. But if you are looking for guidance on portions and how much impact a candy... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 9:14 PM on July 11, 2008

I would package things up in cute little boxes/bags/containers, with labels, eg:

"For the drive" could be a hair elastic, sunglasses, and a bottle of water;

"For the evening" could be something sexy (either seriously so, or jokingly so, depending on what kind of people they are);

"For the morning after" has hangover remedies, a gift certificate for brunch, something like that.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 3:47 PM on July 11, 2008

This comes up a lot on financial advice shows and advice columns (I've heard it often on Dave Ramsey, for example), and the advice is pretty much invariably to suck it up and pay it off.

Giving the car back to the loan company won't make the loan go away, as Lokheed explained. If the interest rate is super high, you may be able to refinance (talk with credit unions for this -- they are often in a good position to help) which will save you some money each month but you... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 1:14 PM on July 10, 2008

I'd imagine the demand would be higher in, say, Montana in January.

Not for a SUV without 4wd.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 12:17 PM on July 11, 2008

I have not gone myself, but two people I know went (separately, in different years) by themselves. One of them is one of those absurdly social people, who makes new friends every time he takes the bus and knows everyone's name and so on. He had a blast, came home sunburned and feeling completely satisfied with the conversations and so on he had had.

The other person was kind of the opposite, very reserved, not so outgoing, and had an, at best, ok time. She felt very much... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 1:02 PM on July 10, 2008

Most of my friends who were art majors either ended up working in regular corporate jobs (no different than if they'd had English degrees, or Botany, or any other subject where you can work knowing that your horizons have been expanded beyond your cubicle), or did their art while working trade or waitstaff jobs. The trade jobs (welding, carpentry, etc) paid better and provided a much better interplay with the art (plus you can steal tons and tons of raw materials from jobsites).... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 7:55 AM on July 10, 2008

I think some people make compliments more than others, and everyone responds differently, so it's hard to make a general rule that holds true in many cases.

But I do think it's safe to say that complimenting in the early stages of a relationship can be a signal of "I am paying attention to you in that way and am liking what I see," and that signal can be used by either party. Just because men may do it more does not mean that a woman should... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 5:59 AM on July 10, 2008

Compressed air works -- but you need to wear eye protection. Every so often something goes wrong and the piston flies out like a bullet.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 9:20 PM on July 9, 2008

I'd suggest looking at SCARP up at UBC.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 4:41 PM on July 9, 2008

There are a lot of rumors that SYM is going to start importing the Wowow to the US -- it is a pretty straightforward copy of the Honda Supercub, and if the price is right would be a really nice addition to the scooter choices in the US.

(As a pedantic quibble, "moped" usually refers to things like the Tomos, which have both motors and pedals; "moped" is also a category in many states' vehicle licensing laws, referring to a small and underpowered... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 1:13 PM on July 9, 2008

In Australia, many postal deliveries are done on a similar bike: the Honda CT110. You can buy one second-hand for about AUD$1300.

Sadly, those haven't been sold in the US since perhaps the early or mid 1980s; you will pay about that much for a 25-year old one here.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 4:29 PM on July 9, 2008

My experience agrees almost completely with rhymer's, with a couple of differences. The rainforests I've been in (with the exception of northern ones like on the Olympic Peninsula in Washington State) have been, for at least part of the year, very hot and steamy. So moist that you can feel the wetness wrapping around you, and at the hottest part of the day it feels like a sauna.

Rain really varies, by geography, altitude, season, and so on. Often very heavy for an hour... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Forktine at 2:24 PM on July 9, 2008 marked best answer