Displaying comments 1 to 23 of 23
MeTa post:
Why the gender discrepancy?
People feel bad for a female head of household who can't earn enough
Right, what rock have you been living under that you've never heard of the welfare queen stereotype?
And, when you are the approach-er, there is a small but non-zero chance of the rejection being pretty harsh. Behaving that way is a privilege of the 'pursued'.
Actually, many men feel totally free to make harsh... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous
at 6:28 AM on May 30, 2008
MeTa post:
Seriously?
I don't see any chasing out of town. I don't see any stringing up. I don't see any 'kill them, kill them.'
Where are these violent metaphors coming from? We're having a *conversation*. As far as I can tell, banning isn't even on the table, let alone 'stringing up.'
Demonizing people who see racism where you don't doesn't contribute to less racism. It just silences the people who are calling out racism. Thank goodness we have people calling out... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous
at 4:23 PM on April 18, 2008
MeTa post:
Slapping someone in the face a bit too much ...
Generally I think being told to relax or calm down or any variation of that is really horribly condescending, and should be avoided whenever the goal of speaking/writing is actually communication.
Also I would have presumed that men who are lonely and violent/psychopathic are lonely (hopelessly or otherwise) because they are violent/psychopathic, not the other way around, and it would be better to fix the violence/pychopath...os? than to inflict it on any one individual.... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous
at 6:17 PM on December 19, 2007
MeTa post:
I don't like your language, young man.
I don't think you were rude. I think you were straightforward. You found it offensive and you said so. I think we should be able to treat posters as reasonable adults (in terms of thought and maturity if not age) who can be spoken to in a straightforward way. It would have been rude if you'd said "You sexist asshole," or something, but you didn't!
If we can't, calmly and straightforwardly, call something offensive when we find it offensive, how can we call... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous
at 5:28 AM on December 13, 2007
Also, the very premise of the question is sexist. It doesn't matter how 'promiscuous' the women are if the men are unwilling to sleep with more than one woman ever, therefore it assumes that both the men and the women are sleeping with multiple partners, yet only the women's behaviour is marked as promiscuous.
It is also heterocentrist: if all or some of the men/women are gay, the model he's trying to build would be completely altered, but the poster assumes, without... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous
at 5:32 AM on December 13, 2007
If there's any ambiguity, give the other person the benefit of the doubt.
So everything but the most egregious examples of sexism should remain undiscussed and unquestioned? That's not what I want this place to look like. Especially since I know that we have nimble brains and somebody somewhere will practically always be able to find some interpretation where something isn't sexist.
And yes, calling out IS giving the... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous
at 10:06 PM on December 13, 2007
MeTa post:
Sexism debate, displaced.
I think part of what's confusing may be that there are guys so smooth that they can compliment a stranger on her appearance and get a positive response, or whatever thing we're saying is generally a bad idea. The reason that they're so smooth is probably because they're very good people-readers, sensitive, etc. This doesn't mean they're great guys because that kind of skill can also be used as manipulation, but there you go.
I could start giving 'tips' based on what... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous
at 6:25 PM on December 6, 2007
For the record, the 'non-sexist guide to etiquette' is the oeuvre of Miss Manners/Judith Martin. Brilliant, witty, and subtly but thoroughly feminist.
One of the things she says is that in the business/work world, one isn't supposed to notice gender. It *is* sexist to treat men and women differently based on their sex. In terms of the social world, she said that norms are changing, and in the mean time everybody should just try to be nice to each other (basically what... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous
at 2:55 PM on December 7, 2007
Agregoli, wow, ugh! Thanks for sharing that!
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous
at 3:01 PM on December 7, 2007
I also experience a different relationship with women, generally, than with men. I don't think this has to be 100% to make it true, and I'm not convinced it's biological. It's also not a question of universal character or physical traits, and I wouldn't be surprised if there were some women who didn't feel this way.
Still, as long as sex is such an important characteristic in our culture (even in a very/somewhat progressive country like Canada, it's on birth... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous
at 8:05 PM on December 11, 2007
MeTa post:
Discussion Point
I've been reading both of these metatalk threads and mostly favoriting rather than commenting, largely because others are saying what I would say very well. Also, this has been a very fast moving thread.
Brandon Blatcher - from your posts it seems clear that you are committed to your position. Your implication that if only women would be sweeter and infinitely more careful when communicating their thoughts and opinions to you, you would listen with an open mind comes... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous
at 10:25 AM on November 18, 2007
I think more awareness for sexual assault on men and boys is crucial.
Far too often, however, the way that people bring up the enormous problem of sexual assault on men in prison tends to imply that it's not a problem for women in prison. The fact is that sexual assault of women in prison happens at horrifyingly high rates, usually by guards or others in positions of authority, and and almost always without consequence for the assailant.
For... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous
at 7:19 AM on November 19, 2007
Cortex, I don't really know what you're getting at? Violent misogynist humor certainly has value - in reinforcing violent misogyny. Yes, as Sarah Silverman says, there's a difference between racist jokes and jokes about racism, and the latter can be very valuable in a positive sense. But that doesn't sound like what you're getting at. What/when/where do you see a positive value in violent misogynist humor? Could you give an example? Because if the theoretical possibility of some (how much?)... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous
at 7:56 AM on November 20, 2007
I BELIEVE ON BALANCE THAT THE LOSS OF SOME BOYZONE MISOGYNY IS WORTH THE BROADER PARTICIPATION BY WOMEN.
"On balance" it would be ok with you to lose "some" misogyny for the sake of participation by women?
Huh? Oh, well thanks. Would that some day you would be *happy* about getting rid of *all* misogyny (from mefi and everywhere else) just because it's wrong and bigoted...
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous
at 1:09 PM on November 20, 2007
It doesn't surprise me as much as it should that this thread started out with men criticizing women for being too sensitive and telling us that if we're offended we should be assertive and aggressive and call out the sexism where we see it, if we want to change the tone on Metafilter,
...and is ending with men criticizing women for being too assertive and aggressive and not couching our calling out of sexism where we see it with enough benefit of the doubt, gentleness,... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous
at 1:14 PM on November 20, 2007
*Some* men. I mean *some*men! Because I'm not a man-hater! I swear! And I didn't mean to offend anyone. And I'm sure you're all swell!
(jeez you have to be so pc around here...)
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous
at 1:18 PM on November 20, 2007
Thank you all and thanks for the update!
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous
at 5:22 PM on November 25, 2007
MeTa post:
Hysterics
I kind of think that the fact that a thread on the subject of men flashing women has spawned
a) protestations by a woman poster that she is not a man-hater!
b) the use of female genitalia, 'twat,' as an insult, without any protest at all.
c) implicit accusations that people who criticize the environment are oversensitive
is a great demonstration of the issue that Occhiblu raised.
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous
at 8:53 AM on November 16, 2007
I wish people felt even a fraction as badly about the departure of the many women who find this place or parts of it to be hostile environments as they did about EB's apparently voluntary and temporary departure...
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous
at 7:24 AM on November 19, 2007
MeTa post:
crush racism an sexism forever
I think it's valid to want to support your community. Everybody defines their community differently, it may be by physical proximity, or by ethnicity, or religion, or sex, or ideology, and some individuals may *not* feel like they are part of a community they want to support and that's fine too, but they shouldn't begrudge other people their communities.
It is arbitrary and unfair to pay for your own child's college tuition, and not for some other child who might need... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Salamandrous
at 10:53 AM on March 11, 2007
