Activity from anildash
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Xenophobia or anti-oppression?
We wouldn't have guns without the Chinese, rock music without African slaves, or the word "Wednesday" without the Norse.
Imagine how it feels to have been on this site since nearly its inception, and to have someone say "we" in a way that clearly excludes you. That's what cultural appropriation feels like.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 10:26 PM on May 16, 2012
Attachment and daycare
Take a look at all the adults you are friends or acquaintances with, both the well-adjusted ones and the crazy ones. Ask a few whether they went to day care or not. Bask in the lack or correlation.
I say this as a dad whose boy started daycare 2 weeks ago, with me still heartbroken each morning when I drop him off. He'll be fine. Your kid will, too.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 6:15 PM on May 16, 2012
I am feeling miserable because of this job that I can't leave. How can I cope?
How much are the relocation costs? How much time would you have to repay them? Would they really make you repay them (meaning, is that mentioned in a written contract that you've signed)? How possible would it be for you to get another job that pays almost as much?
It's worth paying a significant amount of money to not be miserable, if you have the means to do so.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 7:21 PM on May 14, 2012
Give me a script for kicking out my roommate
If you want to go with a reason, the most neutral is "We are the only two on the lease, so we want to be the only two tenants". That's blameless and pseudo-legalistic and impossible to argue with. But yeah, you don't need to say a reason.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 4:52 PM on May 12, 2012
I don't need this.
Your younger self is getting what it wanted: The idiotic, destructive relationship that so many of us ensure when we're young and dumb. Don't let your younger self win.
Ignore this poet, and set up an auto-forward that directs his messages to your husband.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 10:03 AM on May 12, 2012
Wanna be on Mommy's new album?
Stevie Wonder features his daughter Aisha Morris on "Isn't She Lovely", Michael Jackson had his two older kids sing a bit of backup on "The Lost Children" on Invincible, and Prince actually sampled his son (who sadly died at just a few days old) in utero on "Sex in the Summer" on Emancipation.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 7:29 AM on May 9, 2012
It's me or the dog! Or both of us and a lifetime of sulking
Crimes of Excess
Couldn't you just, like, be happy for me?
If she wants you to be in the big city, either to level up in your ambitions or to be closer to her, then she should say so. Communicating it through undermining snipes when she should be celebrating your success is asshole behavior. Tell her to say what she thinks, and that you deserve to have her be kind to you.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 5:02 PM on April 25, 2012
Best of Blog launch is a go
Should I learn to talk GirlTalk?
Which Active Users have been here the Longest?
PPI drugs have bad side effects for me. What are the other options?
The only thing that's consistently reined in my GERD after almost 10 years of suffering is lots and lots of aerobic exercise. If I run 10 miles a week, I don't have any symptoms regardless of what I eat. (Though I do take a Prevacid most mornings.) Now that I'm doing about 20 miles a week, I basically don't have any GERD symptoms at all.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 11:17 AM on April 13, 2012
Laying Out the Unwelcome Mat
INSTAGRAM WILL MAKE MONEY???
Sure, there are lots, especially it we consider what the CEOs of giant tech companies consider "success", like MySpace actually yielding a net positive in NewsCorp's stock price & revenues for enough years before it was sold that it constitutes a success.
But if you just consider this from the human/consumer standpoint, there are still lots of wins:
* Yahoo bought Rocketmail & Oddpost, both of which have informed Yahoo Mail,… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 1:41 PM on April 11, 2012 marked best answer
Want to feel proud of my to-done
I use the Todo.txt apps for this. They work perfectly.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 5:57 AM on April 10, 2012
Questioning my decision to enter grad school. Now what?
I have this overwhelming feeling that I am going to be stricken with debt for years to come, and question how much of a boost this program is giving me in terms of being an attractive candidate for employment. Ideally I am aiming for a tech start-up here in NYC.
I say this with nothing but helpful intentions, but this isn't special snowflakeness in any way, shape or form. This is insanely common.
You got turned down by, what,… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 2:51 PM on April 9, 2012
Am I on the rebound?
Help me name my group!
Can you give me recommendations for portable, yet powerful speakers for a laptop?
Tuning out the family
"Mom, I don't think you raised me to politicize what a mother goes through when her son is dead. I hope you're thinking of Mrs. Martin with the same kindness you'd want from her if I were killed and no one were arrested for it. Someday I'll have kids, and I hope when they see this permanent record of your thoughts that they see your character as you'd want them to learn from you, just as you've taught me to behave in public."
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 9:48 PM on March 26, 2012
Affordable humanely-raised dairy, meat and eggs in NYC?
Name that award.
Shaking hands at the end of a date too formal?
If you want to do something non-threatening with your hands that's not creepy, simply take her corresponding hand (that is, the one you wouldn't shake) while you tell her goodnight. Upgrade to taking both hands, a hug, a cheek kiss, a real kiss, or dry humping, as appropriate.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 11:58 PM on March 21, 2012
How do I deal with a workplace bully?
"Ok" is a great answer, combined with waiting it out. Stop the meeting after he makes a big distinction between "metrics" and "measurement". Say, flatly and without sarcasm, "Frank wants this meeting to address the semantic differences between metrics and measurement." And then just sit and wait.
"Frank wants to focus on the relative number of customers we're losing rather than the absolute number." "Frank wants to… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 11:51 PM on March 21, 2012
Car-less in Harrisburg
I was born in Harrisburg, and lived in the area for decades (though it has admittedly been some time since I lived there). By contrast, for the last 15 years I haven't owned a car, living mostly in NYC but also for a while in San Francisco.
Harrisburg, even at its best downtown, is nowhere near walkable enough to compete with dense cities where a car is truly optional. It may be theoretically possible, especially if there's the option of something… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 5:10 PM on March 19, 2012
How do I talk about something deeply embarrassing?
Have a kid. You'll:
1. Get over any squeamishness about any bodily fluids.
2. Be forced to stop being modest around one another and start communicating.
3. Have somebody to relay these awkward messages.
4. Care less about whether things are filthy & disgusting or not.
5. Only have to wait a few years until there's someone new to assign the chore to.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 5:07 PM on March 19, 2012
"So, where did you go to school?"
For twenty years I've been saying "oh, I did some college, but since I started my first company right after high school, it didn't stick." Modify to suit your circumstance ("Been too busy building this company to get to college yet!") and you'll be fine.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 8:18 PM on March 14, 2012
What does one call oneself?
Just as a contrary data point, in the many hundreds of resumes I've read when hiring, creativity in job titles has never gotten my attention, and indeed the most jargony ones ("change agent") just induce eye rolls.
Channel your creativity into describing what you do uniquely well, and in describing your past accomplishments in terms of meaningful, measurable results.
Someone who says "Division Lead" followed by "700%… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 9:59 AM on March 12, 2012
Help me play this genuinely gastronomical, generally gustatory game?
How to bail on plans made with a new acquaintance who has my real number?
Realistic Jobs In Movies?
George Clooney's work in "Up In The Air" perfectly captured the airport-lounges-and-hotel-conference-room drabness of being any kind of Road warrior, whether it's sales, public speaking, consulting or whatever. Uncanny how well that film conveys the mood of those transitory places and the people who populate them.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 7:45 AM on March 1, 2012
Convert from Instapaper to Readability?
(Disclosure: I'm an advisor to Readability and acquaintances with Instapaper's creator.)
Right now, Readability doesn't import Instapaper history or queues, and it probably won't have that feature built in soon, mostly out of respect for Marco's work since the two teams used to collaborate loosely.
That being said, Readability's API makes this quite possible and I've already seen several mentions of the idea by developers just in the few hours… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 10:26 PM on February 29, 2012 marked best answer
Make Your Thing
Until reading this thread, I sincerely did not know that there were people who felt that people should never give aspirational advice. I certainly can take issue with some of the privileged assumptions in Jesse's piece, but given its target audience, those assumptions of privilege were probably fair. (And since we're all people with leisure time, high levels of literacy and personal access to a computer, our privilege is nigh indistinguishable from Jesse's.)
But, putting… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by anildash at 9:57 PM on February 28, 2012
The Saga Continues…
I couldn't include all the efforts to get help, would have been far too long. Studies sho that we get sick when we suffer injustice. Things must be squared or we are out of balance. Justice is part of my recovery. Do others want more details of my efforts to be seen?
These are really, really unusual phrasings to use for these thoughts. Part of why people might have felt threatened or put off is because almost nobody would articulate these ideas in… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 6:36 AM on February 28, 2012
Useful to you, programming for me?
Code for America is a wonderful suggestion, and of you'll pardon the gauche self-link, many in the ThinkUp community have told me they like working on the app not just because it's useful, but because it aspires to enable significant work.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 8:15 PM on February 25, 2012
Looking for examples of a keyboard style.
This sound is all over Prince's early 80s stuff, obviously -- might be worth looking at the old gear list for Paisley Park for ideas.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 8:07 PM on February 25, 2012
NYC Startups: A Quest
You should come to the New York Tech Meetup and related events. That's where you'll meet the people who will connect you to a job at the kind of company you're describing. Even though these are bigger, more established companies than the true tiny startups, you can still get a great job with almost any of them.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 11:43 PM on February 21, 2012
The longest cat and mouse game
How do I get this door open?
You should see if you can fish the end of the cost hanger into the gap between the doorknob and its hole, with the goal being to pull back the locking bolt enough to push the door open.
Given how poorly that doorknob is installed, this certainly isn't your fault.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 10:28 PM on February 19, 2012
How do I pretend to be excited about an engagement I'm not excited about?
You haven't said a single thing about them being incompatible with each other or that they're ever even unkind or anything less than good to each other. You have said a great deal about your feelings about your perception of the relative ease of her life.
First, you don't know how much she's suffered in her life; none of us ever really ever knows another's troubles. Second, she's family: If her life has been charmed and happy and… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 7:25 PM on February 18, 2012 marked best answer
Now, here's Cat Pie Hurts with the weather
Have a hook! Do a something that's easy to repeat, like a Stat Of The Week ("there are 750 million people on Facebook!") or one heartwarming tech story every week (most big tech company's blogs live to share these things). Just doing tech tips is great, but it's hard to know how broadly applicable those will be, as compared to more instantly accessible nuggets of factual info.
You could almost do "what tech company got in trouble this week" with a… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 8:38 PM on February 17, 2012 marked best answer
Get this "are you a racist" conversation back to a "is this thing racist" conversation
Gluten Intolerant in a gluten filled work environment
Considering you have no documentation of having Celiac's, communicate in extremely vague ways about your illness, mention triggers of illness that are exceedingly rare, are prone to irritability when discussing your needs, and aren't familiar with how the ADA can help you, it's not surprising that you're not getting desired results at work.
You may want to try approaching this issue in a way that assumes people want to help you, and then give them enough info and context… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 6:18 PM on February 15, 2012
Best cities for single men looking for a fresh start?
Our tech community in NYC is in a truly phenomenal place. It's a world class city for the arts, culture and dating. We have more people passing through two train stations every day than SF has residents total -- you're going to find what you're looking for here.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 6:36 PM on February 8, 2012
Vaccines are not pure evil..right?
As the father of a boy about to turn a year old: There's the consensus of the complete research of the entire medical community. And there are people exploiting the (all-too-familiar) SIDS fears of new parents in order to help a former Playmate profit now that the autism lies about vaccines have been thoroughly debunked.
Choose one. The fact that you want evidence at all is enough; only one of these communities relies on documented, falsifiable evidence. Hint: It's not… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 8:59 PM on February 4, 2012
How do I handle an interview for a job that I may be underqualified to do?
I can't tell you how many times I've seen a job that says "must have 4 years basket weaving experience" and all the male candidates come in saying, "I've only done basket weaving for 2 years, but I have some other related experience" and the female candidates say "I have 7 years of basket weaving, but it doesn't count because of [arbitrary reasons here]".
It's okay for that situation to be reversed for once. Go get the job, don't say no before they do.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 9:24 PM on February 3, 2012