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Mefi Mixologists:
Cocktailians?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 2:50 PM on November 28, 2010 marked best answer

How do I deal with racially insensitive comments at work?
I usually respond to this sort of thing by saying, very flatly, "I'm from Pennsylvania. But don't worry, it's not funny there either."
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 2:35 PM on November 28, 2010

Fed up.
You and your husband need to repeat to them, often, this mantra: "Attacking our family and marriage is not the loving thing to do, and we will not accept it." Say it out loud whenever necessary, and hold them accountable when they violate it.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 11:59 PM on November 24, 2010

Gone so long, I don't know which stereotypes to believe
In my experience (many years going back and forth, but an unabashed NYC partisan), there was much *more* douchery in SF, mostly because the culture of digital agencies there is a lot more homogenous. Work-life balance probably depends more on the particular company than on the region. There are certainly good opportunities in either city for your skill set.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 3:05 PM on November 21, 2010

I need to become more articulate
Start a blog and practice writing out the ideas behind whatever you're presently working on. Even if nobody reads it, it'll give you a regular venue to exercise these communications skills. Practice and experience are the key -- clear communication is a learnable skill.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 10:39 PM on November 17, 2010

Help me get over financial paralysis.
Think through some things that you're willing to pay for — maybe you'd never imagine painting your house yourself, so you'd hire a house painter. Certainly you've paid a dentist to clean your teeth, or anybody else who provides a service you can't do yourself.

That's what you're doing here. Regardless of what investments you make, you'll be investing some money in order to get to security. Part of that investment is paying a professional to help you do it. (And yep,... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 8:27 AM on November 16, 2010

How do I organize a picket line at the airport?
Actually, the TSA has an active, smart and engaged presence in social media, most prominently in the TSA blog. They regularly respond to comments, including on this most recent thread about backscatter scans, and you could lodge a formal complaint by using their comment form or simply talking to them on Twitter. They also have a pretty comprehensive list of other ways to contact them.

Picketing (or whatever else you would do) at the airport would inconvenience the people... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 1:32 PM on November 10, 2010

"OMG, sis, I do not want to hear you talk about safe words over breakfast."
"You have done the impossible and made sex boring. If you really want people to join your lifestyle, you should stop talking about it incessantly so that it retains some of its mystery and allure."
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 2:41 PM on November 8, 2010

Googling can really mess things up.
Here is something that would work: "Hey, you're interesting enough that I Googled you! Do you know what comes up if you do that?" See what he says.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 9:28 AM on November 5, 2010

How to find cities to move to
Having been in a similar situation long ago, I made the leap to NYC and have never regretted it. Not sure why you wouldn't restrict your search to just one city if you know it's a better fit in every one of the ways you've described. Keep in mind, NYC's a big city — there are many different lifestyles you could choose here.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 8:14 AM on October 21, 2010

Best mouse for graphic designer?
The combination of a Magic Mouse and Magic Trackpad from Apple provides a nice balance of control, flexibility of gestures, extreme programmability, and (in my case, since I use them ambidextrously) productivity. If you have someone else paying, or money to waste, you could do far worse.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 9:31 PM on October 20, 2010

Blood alone moves the wheels of history!
To be clear, you are to some degree, trying to become a conference whore, if you want to start making money from public speaking. That's okay, as long as you manage in it in a way where you're educating or enlightening people more than you're just feeding your own ego. As somebody who's spent too much time on the wrong side of that line (as opposed to Jessamyn) I can probably offer a few insights.

First, as Jessamyn pointed out: Specialize. Pick... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 10:25 AM on October 16, 2010
Sorry, went off topic a bit with the broader stuff there, but to return to the simple focus of "how do I get gigs?", you can start by identifying the events you'd like to speak at, seeing if they have satellite events or other events from the same organizers that you can participate in, and by learning about the general operations of the events industry so that you can see the role speakers play in that industry as compared to the primary customers — sponsors and attendees.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 10:30 AM on October 16, 2010

Websites for the previously cave-bound?
http://www.khanacademy.org/
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 3:37 AM on October 9, 2010

Cool web tools I can host myself
You should try out the (not so pretty yet, but super useful) ThinkUp, which connects to your Twitter and Facebook accounts, archives all of your conversations there, and gives you neat stats and charts and graphs about what you and your friends do there. If you're in to hosting your own stuff, it gives you those benefits on sites like Twitter and FB that you can never host yourself.

Disclaimer: I work at the non-profit that sponsors it, but the app is free and open... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 4:50 PM on October 6, 2010

Not jumping for the bed?
This sounds like the end of an evening with a woman I had been spending time with about 9 years ago, where I tried to err way on the side of being safe. Fortunately, she did the right thing and clearly communicated with me. Our fifth wedding anniversary is this month.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 12:41 AM on October 5, 2010

Can this guy get any wimpier?
If these are legal decisions where he's exposing your employer to potential liability by having no backbone, just make sure to get super clear explicit documentation of all of those choices he's making so you have a paper trail while you look for a new job.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 7:39 PM on September 24, 2010

Why do I keep getting locked out of hotel rooms?
Next time you're in a hotel, get an extra key. Keep one with you in the normal manner as you have been, and stash the other someplace where it's safe. On checkout day, compare if they both work. Repeat until you have another deactivation, and you'll find if you're affecting the cards.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 8:19 AM on September 23, 2010

Revealing something likely uncomfortable-making to friends
In my own experience, and that of those close to me, the best practice is to talk about it in the same way, and with the same care, that you'd talk about any other significant medical procedure. Not something to mention casually, but certainly nothing to be abashed about — people don't open a conversation mentioning they've had open-heart surgery, but they're not ashamed of it or awkward if it comes up.

Obviously, it's a more complex topic to bring up, but it may... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 9:35 PM on September 16, 2010

Books on Bosses?
If you have the patience for it, Gotham is an absolutely extraordinary history of New York City, which happens to cover in passing a massive amount of information about the rise of bosses in the whole area. One of my favorite evenings in 2004 was spent with Gotham open alongside the (also great) Encyclopedia of New York and "Gangs of New York" on TV. But you can settle for merely reading the book. :)... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 9:28 PM on September 16, 2010

What's the opposite of Schadenfreude?
Don't be so sure about anything being for "just" two years. Man makes plans, and metropolitan areas laugh.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 2:12 PM on September 13, 2010

How to make a wedding that's less Vera Wang, more Beacon's Closet
The key to having an affordable NYC wedding is to let go of the stupid arbitrary traditions that get exorbitantly priced. We had our ceremony in Madison Square Park; the license to hold the wedding there was twenty bucks. We had the reception at the top-floor party space that a friend had access to in his building; We gave him an iPod to say thanks. Transport from the wedding to reception was via subway, except I put our parents in taxis.

Our big expense overall was in... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 2:28 PM on September 8, 2010

How do you set up a corporate BarCamp?
Not to be too obvious, but the BarCamp website has lots of info on how to organize an unconference. I'm assuming what you mean is that you'd like to run an internal unconference within your company, not a true "BarCamp", since you don't really want public engagement.

After that wiki page, I'd suggest subscribing to the BarCamp (or other unconference) mailing lists and lurking around a bit to see exactly how these things work. There are also consultants who will... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 8:51 AM on September 6, 2010

Gourmet Quick Kitchen- "Special Editions" of Gourmet Magazine to hit newstands
I dunno, I'm obviously biased (been working extensively with the Gourmet Live team since its inception) and I know MeFi's bias on these things is always towards the cynical end of things. But it's a nice set of beautiful recipes. I was just thumbing through it today and even though I was looking at it as a Producer Of Media, I ended up pausing on the Bahn Mi recipe and thinking "hmm, I could actually do that. And I want to eat it."

It is,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by anildash at 4:30 PM on August 30, 2010

Who the fuck is Eminem, anyway?
Unbelievable more people haven't mentioned Lauryn Hill's work, particularly on Miseducation but even with the Fugees. If she'd have passed on in 2000, people would recognize her as one of the all-time greats today. I personally would put her ahead of Pac.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 12:02 AM on August 25, 2010

"Do you have any questions for us?"
Nothing wrong with saying " I'll definitely have questions later, would it be alright to follow up with some in email after I've had time to think some mire? I'm excited and want to make sure I cover everything."


Gets you off the hook on immediate pressure to ask, plus gives a perfect way to follow up without being a nag.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 10:07 PM on August 17, 2010

Help taking screenshots on Android Droid X
Can't you just install ShootMe? it works great for me and is easy enough.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 7:50 PM on August 12, 2010

Does CrashPlan take system resources throughout the day?
Even with Xcode, Photoshop, Dropbox, Tweetie, iChat, &c. open, I never notice CrashPlan slowing things down.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 7:40 PM on August 12, 2010

When can a third party make a case for copyright infringement?
Martin should disclose it pre-emptively. "We at DDD are disappointed to tell you that Neil had been publishing items on our site that were in violation of copyright. We take this matter seriously, and in addition to Neil no longer being on our staff, all of the offending content has been removed. We apologize to the donut community and especially to the original writers of this content, but are proud and happy that our site's community is strong enough to weather even this unfortunate... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 3:19 PM on August 10, 2010
Oh, and don't send the letter to Neil. Email him a link to the disclosure when it goes live, and let him read the discovery on the site, same as anybody else. Carefully log and record all of his responses to the post in case you need them in the future.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 3:22 PM on August 10, 2010

I am a man who drives the local bus
Your manager doesn't understand what a diversity program is.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 12:48 PM on August 10, 2010

What in blue hell am I supposed to say?
Throw a surprise party for her birthday or other event. Call the dude at home to invite him. If he doesn't show, make a nice speech at the event about how everyone who loves and cares for her is there. If he does show, then you did a nice thing for your friend.

If his shocked wife blows up and he gets pissed then he was lying to your friend and hopefully she'll see you helped her find that out. If she gets mad at you for making the truth obvious, then you're free of a... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 8:33 PM on August 9, 2010

Baptism gift for a nine year old boy (from an atheist)?
A chemistry set, a Lego mindstorms robotics kit, a nice set of really powerful magnets, a model rocketry kit or anything else that might inspire a life-long interest in science would all be perfectly awesome for any kid that age, plus unassailably grounded in logic, science and reason.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 10:43 PM on July 29, 2010

Seriously Hot Dog.
Seconding Drop Off Service on A.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 6:48 PM on July 6, 2010

I blew $20,000 by dropping out of college mid-semester. Where do I go from here?
He's doing you a favor by cutting you off. You're smart, introspective, and entrepreneurial and don't need somebody emotionally manipulating you with their money. (That's what your late 20s are for!)

Look, maybe you fucked up; I dunno. But even if so, being 20 years old is about making mistakes. If your heart is set on going back to school, go. There must be a way you can declare that you're financially independent and won't be getting supported by your family. Just be... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 9:15 AM on June 11, 2010

What is the best way to break bad news at work?
I know this sounds like the most ridiculous, counterintuitive advice, but I'd actually take a look at the venerable, maligned "Delivering Bad News" PowerPoint template. Though the visuals are truly horrendous and the title to each slide is laughably bad, the actual bullet points themselves as an outline of topics to cover are not bad at all.

I am not saying you should use this template. I am certainly not advocating for the use of a bad set... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 12:15 AM on May 26, 2010

The blogosphere thinks I'm ugly...
I'm not famous, but the number of people who know me online is larger than the number of people who I know, and that asymmetry means that I've been called ugly, stupid, evil, and a whole assortment of other things online over the years. (Including right here on MeFi!)

The key thing to understand is that they're not reacting to you. They are reacting to an idea that happens to share the same name as you. They don't see you as a real person, most... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 4:07 PM on May 20, 2010

Do I actually like the things I say I like?
I go the other way, and default to not evaluating anything based on "I like this" or "I didn't like this". Instead, to me it's much more interesting to think about the context in which it was created, what social goals it was trying to achieve, what context the work was created in, and how it earned a place in our culture.

I guess some of that stuff is boring or meta to others, but as a result, I almost never see a movie or read a... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 10:55 PM on May 4, 2010

Do TV, radio and newspaper drive internet traffic?
I've had my blog mentioned on TV, radio & the newspaper a few times, and worked a lot with blogs that have gotten mentions all the time. If you're talking about a feature story ("In local news, an area blogger...") in any of these media, you probably won't get much traffic at all. Radio, same thing.

Newspapers can depend on 1. whether they actually link to you (just spelling out the URL won't drive traffic) and 2.... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 9:14 AM on March 29, 2010

Should I reunite with my ex-boyfriend?
K's a douchebag and S is Mr. Right Now. Keep fooling around with S until you find somebody who is actually great, instead of being a controlling jerk. And stop evaluating partners on some preconceived list that includes whether they're going to join the Peace Corp or volunteer at a homeless shelter. Those are things a great partner might decide to join you in after you've established a respectful, nurturing, fun, lighthearted, meaningful relationship.

Which it sounds... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 8:19 PM on March 25, 2010

Upper West Side?
Manhattan as a whole is incredibly safe. Assuming you're moving from somewhere else in the U.S., you'll almost certainly have a significantly lower rate of violent crime in that neighborhood than wherever you're moving from.

If you're a young college student, a lot of other neighborhoods (East Village, Chelsea, anywhere downtown) might be a lot more fun/interesting. But if you're new, it'll all be exciting regardless.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 8:10 PM on March 25, 2010

When/where/what-like was the first NYC meetup?
There was definitely one in early 2001. I'm traveling, so can't find my notes, but I believe that first thread led to the first MeFi Meetup on the Bowery. Will try to dig up more details later.
posted to MetaTalk by anildash at 10:21 PM on January 30, 2010

MySQL and I don't get along.
I used to work with the Movable Type team, and they put a ton of work into supporting Postgres at least through the 4.x versions (not sure about the new 5.0 version). Definitely worth a look.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 2:13 PM on January 26, 2010

Help me pick a personalized plate for my Yugo
CHIKMAGNT
YUGO CRZY
and anything that indicates it's a classic of sorts. "CLSSC CAR" sort of thing.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 9:43 PM on January 25, 2010

Think I better compose now!
So, it's worth noting that Prince himself struggled with the arrangement of the song Kiss, from the moment he wrote it (for his protege band Mazarati) to the moment he reclaimed it (as his Parade album needed a hit lead single) to the many times he's rearranged it for live performance. He's actually gone so far as to never use the same live arrangement twice on the song.

A couple of good starting points might help here. Send me... [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 3:01 PM on January 23, 2010 marked best answer
Minor clarification: Prince never used the same arrangement for "Kiss" between tours. Obviously, he'd keep a particular arrangement for the duration of a tour. And I meant that, while Brown Mark might have specific feedback, Wendy & Lisa might have broader insights.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 3:07 PM on January 23, 2010

DJ Vader
Suckadelic's Star Wars Breakbeats is surprisingly good.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 10:39 AM on January 15, 2010

Spam or not spam?
Even if it weren't spam, you should simply not publish it because it's meaningless, off-topic content that's iffy and has a link. No reason not to have strict standards about comments.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 8:06 PM on January 13, 2010

Remembering our friend Brad
It took me a little while, but I wrote a bit about Brad today.
posted to MetaTalk by anildash at 9:17 AM on January 13, 2010

WHERE'S THE GREEN WHAT?
Get a baby monitor and leave it on so you can hear each other. Once in a while, when you're both sitting down at the same table, reflect on the fact that it is mostly an effective solution because you're both acting like babies.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by anildash at 10:08 PM on January 12, 2010

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