By option B, do you mean getting a stud fee for him to impregnate another golden retriever? I don't really see the allure, unless you need the money. It's not like you'll end up with cute puppies (unless you want to adopt one of them).
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 9:36 AM on July 8, 2008

I'd pre-empt her: Think about something you really need (say, a hip-length black cardigan, or whatever) and tell her very specifically what you want, including your size.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 9:51 AM on July 3, 2008

I can't figure out the statistics for you, but I can say that the great thing about condoms is that when they fail, by breaking or slipping off or what have you, you know RIGHT AWAY and can get the morning after pill. I have always found that very reassuring (I'd never be able to trust something like the sponge, or even a diaphram, like I can with condoms).
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 7:33 AM on July 2, 2008

Also, if she is intensely worried, she can chart her fertility (google "ovulation chart" and she can even do it online) and abstain from sex on her most fertile days. It may help put her mind at ease...
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 7:38 AM on July 2, 2008

Assuming condoms used normally, the expectation would be more like:

If 200 couples have sex 1000 times each, we would expect about 150 of those women to become pregnant at least once sometime in that period.

I think you're interpreting the statistics incorrectly, ROU. 2 in 100 women who use condoms correctly will get pregnant IN A YEAR - presumably these women are having sex more than once annually. And condoms just aren't... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 8:11 AM on July 2, 2008

"Los Angeles I'm Yours" by the Decemberists is my favorite, if you want more anti-L.A. stuff.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 2:29 PM on June 27, 2008

She can't snap out of it; the things you describe seem to form the bedrock of her entire personality. I'm not sure why you're friends with this person. If you don't like talking to her or being with her (and I don't blame you if you don't, she sounds like a real piece of work) then stop taking her calls and stop hanging out with her.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 7:16 AM on June 20, 2008

I guess it could be an extra layer of absorbency to avoid ruining a pair of pants or skirt or something.

This is what I have always assumed it was for.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 2:12 PM on June 12, 2008

I'd tip 20 percent of the total at a restaurant to be on the safe side. Everyone I know in Western Mass tips 20. And foreign tourists have a bad reputation for not tipping enough.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 7:41 AM on May 26, 2008

(People, there is nothing wrong with saying that a person "had potential." Maybe it's because I have spent a few years in the nearly-mercenary world of online dating, but dating is all about figuring out if the other person has potential -- the potential to be someone you fall in love with, and who falls in love with you.)

There is nothing wrong with wanting to find the person you will spend the rest of your life with, so try not to beat yourself up over that.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 12:33 PM on May 13, 2008

To clarify my comment above, if I wasn't clear: Having potential should mean, wow, I like what I know about this person so far... I want to get to know him better and see if we are really compatible. It should NOT mean, wow, he's got some good qualities and some bad ones, and all I have to do is mold him into the man I want. Because as you know, that never works.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 7:55 AM on May 14, 2008

My 2 cats are indoor only, but there are some friendly neighborhood cats who visit the yard... Maybe I'll try to employ them to do my dirty work. (Traps are too hands-on for me.) And I'll try the castor oil trick, too. Thanks! And if anyone else comes upon this question, please feel free to chime in!
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 7:39 AM on May 13, 2008

For deep-voiced love songs, you can't go wrong with the Magnetic Fields.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 1:46 PM on May 9, 2008

This is not an answer to your specific question, but the generic version of Xanax (alprazolam) is super-cheap (doesn't Wal-Mart sell all generics for $3, now?), if you can find a free or low-cost clinic to give you a prescription for it. General practitioners are used to prescribing stuff like this, so you shouldn't have any problems. If you're concerned about the cost of the doctor's visit, consider that herbal stuff like Rescue Remedy ain't cheap (and it never worked for me) and it may... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 11:24 AM on May 8, 2008

Should have previewed -- so the generics at Walmart are $4. Still, super cheap, and effective while you work out your issues via CBT (also a great way to deal, though it takes time to see results).
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 11:27 AM on May 8, 2008

I could have written this question. In fact, I was recently considering an AskMe that started, "How do I stop myself from being a bitch?" My behavior has roots in my childhood, but that doesn't matter now, really. It's hard for me to stop and think before I speak, but that's really the key to controlling it. That, and I've learned that apologizing later helps tremendously.

I also try to think about who I really want to be -- and that person is NOT a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 12:40 PM on May 1, 2008

I second that Blue Apron, in Park Slope, Brooklyn (I think it's on Union Ave and 6th? Definitely on Union between 7th-5th) has spectacular lox. They have a specially-trained slicer who will slice it wafer-thin (if you'd like it) and will even remove any non-pink parts (usually there's a brown bit on the edge). It'll cost you, but it's so worth it. I love a buttery lox, though, so it may not have the chewiness you crave.

Now I'm all hungry.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 12:22 PM on May 1, 2008

I went to Hawaii (Maui) in February and I was blown away by it. That whole "paradise" thing you've heard about is actually true, it turns out. I have a Flickr set with photos, if you want to get a sense of the range of scenery there. I loved the lush jungly bits and I loved the moonscape lava rock bits and everything in between.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 12:05 PM on April 29, 2008

People date their coworkers all the time. I work in an office with 50 or so people, and three sets of couples have met on the job and have gotten married (of course, they were always between different departments... but still! They did work together). I say go for it. You're young and could switch jobs without much pain; she's not your boss and you aren't hers... I don't see the downside.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 8:33 PM on April 24, 2008

Note that those Orvis covers are made of microsuede. You might want to look for a sofa made of that. It's durable, and cats won't want to sharpen their nails on it as much as they might with, say, a tweed material. Covers that are removeable and washable should be your main goal, however. And you could go ultra-modern and get something with metal legs. Check out CB2 or even Overstock.com. (I haven't bought from either place, I just know I've seen that style of sofa there.)... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 2:28 PM on April 22, 2008

You don't need to avoid trademarked names (in any writing context), you just have to capitalize them (Kleenex, Dumpster, and Frisbee are examples of trademarked names that many people use as regular nouns). And weird words like Dalmatian are capped (because the name of the breed comes from a location). Note that only fellow grammar Nazis may notice, however.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 1:37 PM on April 21, 2008

I've never tried Curves or anything like it, but this new-to-me place called Planet Fitness looks similar. They look a bit more modern, and they claim they're a "judgment-free zone". That's all I know about them, however...
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 2:03 PM on April 20, 2008

Your cats may hide for the first few days after you get to the new place, especially if all of your familiar-smelling belongings are in boxes. Don't worry about this. As long as they have food and water and a litterbox in obvious locations, they'll get their needs met even if you never see them (possibly when you're not around/awake). Eventually they will re-emerge.

I wouldn't let them experience the outside. It's like the Matrix; once they know there's a whole real... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 8:36 PM on April 6, 2008 marked best answer

Seconded for me; I'd much, much rather get a rejection email than a phone call. Not if we had been dating for many months, but in this instance a phone call would seem cruel to me. I have to somehow make my voice sound like I'm not hurt, while the reject-er waits for my response? Ugh. Give me an email I can react to in private, please.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 7:13 PM on March 23, 2008

"Flicking the bean" makes me wince and cross my legs. Ouch. But I have heard it before (I think it was in a stand-up comedy bit by Jeremy Piven? Is that possible?).

I like "playing in the nappy dugout," but that's really a euphemism for oral sex. Otherwise I agree with headspace.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 11:38 AM on January 29, 2008

My psychotherapist boyfriend says: "Anyone who sees them in a non-test situation can't take the test anymore" -- meaning, the test depends upon seeing the blots for the very first time, so anyone seeing them hanging on your wall will invalidate the (future) test. You may not care, and you may not have anyone visiting the house who will ever be in the position of being given a Rorschach test, but I wouldn't risk it. The test is still in use as a diagnostic tool, however old-fashioned it... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 4:37 PM on January 21, 2008

Born and raised in NJ, have loved and visited NYC all of my life (my sister lives in Brooklyn now). Have lived in MA for my adult life (17 years or so). I visited LA a bunch of times over the past 11 years for business; mostly Hollywood/Burbank, though a few times I visited I had some free time and did some exploring. (I've also visited the Bay Area and other northern Cali spots, and loved it; I am not anti-California.)

I hate LA because the people there seem incredibly... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 9:34 AM on January 3, 2008

Also, if you're collecting "I hate LA" and "I love LA" comments for a book or an article, I hope you share it with us when you're done -- I'd love to read it!
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 9:35 AM on January 3, 2008

Yes, send it. The worst thing that can happen is that she reads it and dismisses it. But at least you'll know you've done what you can. I agree with all of the people who liken this to watching someone about to walk off a cliff. Wouldn't you tell them, "Hey, there's a cliff in front of you! Better step carefully!"?
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 9:02 AM on January 3, 2008

I agree with pineapple. I'd vote for a gift card to Old Navy, Forever 21, or H&M instead of Walmart. Kids this age are very label-conscious, and though Old Navy etc. is cheap, it doesn't have the same stigma as Walmart. If there's a local mall that everyone goes to, you might be able to get a mall-wide gift card (useable at any store in the mall). Shopping is very much a social activity at this age, too, so a card would be a fun gift.

I'd stay away from Hannah... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 8:16 AM on December 18, 2007

I know exactly the smell you're talking about. It was so bad at the Subway inside of a local Walmart that I seriously almost heaved when I walked past it. It smells nothing — NOTHING — like an actual bakery. I have always thought the bad smell was from the sweet n' sour, chemical-laden bread dough.

I still eat there though when the choice is between them or McDonald's.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 7:48 PM on December 13, 2007

I'm bookmarking this question because I have very skinny legs and also desire some sweet boots. The only tall boots I own that come close to fitting my calves are from Aerosoles, and they are of the stretchy-pleather pull-up kind. They look ok, I think, and were about $100.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 9:03 PM on December 12, 2007

I feel for you. I also got therapy when I was 17, though that was with the help of my parents. I've never used this, but you could try calling Girls and Boys Town. From their website, it sounds like they just offer free counseling over the phone, but they might be able to tell you of free or very low-cost mental health services (and I'm talking about regular therapy, not checking into the funny farm) in your area. It's a place to start, at least...
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 7:51 AM on December 7, 2007

Thank you, everyone! Lots of games for us to look for. And santojulieta, we have been dating about 3 months and playing together is a great bonding method.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 6:48 PM on November 27, 2007

I do pub trivia every week in a very smoky bar (it's technically a "club" so it bypasses the smoking ban in my state). Afterwards I hang my coat outside on my porch. It takes a few days, but the smell goes away completely. If you do try leaving the shawl outside, make sure to be patient -- give it a week before doing anything rash like dry-cleaning.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 9:28 AM on November 16, 2007

I totally sympathize with you. I went to an actual hairdresser for the first time in my life about 4 or 5 months ago, and got an actual cut with layers and everything. This was also at a $50-ish place, and my well-recommended stylist lady was adamant that I come back if I wasn't happy with my haircut. I've been happy so far, and have gone back twice for maintenance since then (my hair is curly and insane, so it needs frequent pruning). Anyway: I would call them and tell them you're unhappy. Show... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 8:41 AM on August 3, 2007

I live in Northampton and I'm a Hampshire alumna. You should go to Antonio's for a slice, definitely; if you end up going to Amherst you'll eat there once a week at least. There's even a "campus cam" trained on the sidewalk right outside. (Not very exciting in the summer, but funny things happen at 1:30 a.m. on a Friday night during the school year.)

Talking to actual students would be best, though. Some of them will be spending the summer in Amherst, slinging... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 8:56 AM on August 2, 2007

What about finding a regular casual sex situation? I don't know if these really exist or if they're just craigslist dreams, but it sounds like you need a woman you can have regular sexy times with, but that you don't want a relationship with. You need repeated interaction with one person in order to relax enough to stay hard and enjoy yourself. Plus, if you know you'll be seeing her again in a week, or whatever, if you lose your erection it's not a big deal: You won't have the "OMG This is... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 8:54 AM on July 22, 2007

I'd compare the peel-ability to more like a string cheese than an onion. It's sweet and not very crab-tasting, but it can be tasty when used in recipes such as crab rangoon (chop and mix imitation crab with cream cheese, fill wonton wrappers, fry).
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 6:21 PM on May 26, 2007

If your problem is motivation, paying for a class can be a big motivator! Pottery class was my pick. I'm not taking any classes now, but I have three of my weeknights filled with activities: an informal choral singing group, trivia night at a local bar, and watching Lost with a bunch of friends (TV can be social!). Obviously the Lost night will have to be filled some other way until 2008... But you get the drift.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 7:22 AM on May 25, 2007

I'm in the U.S./ East coast, and pleated-front pants are certainly still frequently worn, but are a sign that a man has no idea what's in fashion nowadays. If that's not a concern (and it need not be!) then go for it. If you want to be "in style," go flat-front.

And nothing will make you look fatter than clothes that are too small. Wear stuff that fits you now, not the way you want to be after you lose a few pounds, and you'll look smart.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 8:26 PM on May 23, 2007

First of all, all abuse is "occasional" otherwise abusive people wouldn't have time to eat or sleep or go to work. But anyway.... This is a very unpleasant situation and you have my sympathy. I'd love to say you should call the cops and give that guy a little wake-up call. But it sounds like your sister is hoping to just ride out the rest of her time at home, and you may not be able to do much for her from afar. I hate to say it, but can you simply advise her to remove herself from the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 7:48 PM on May 21, 2007

If you want plants to do your screening for you, and you're okay with doing some pruning and other work every once in a while, I've heard good things about bamboo. It grows fast (too fast for a lot of people; YMMV).
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 9:46 AM on May 11, 2007

I was speed-reading through this to get to the bottom so I could put "You Are the Everything" by REM, but minervous beat me to it. I recently tried putting together a playlist of songs with crickets in them, and the only others I have are:
"Death is a Star" the Clash
"Green Arrow" Yo La Tengo
"Twilight" Elliott Smith
"Summer's Cauldron" XTC (which feels very daylight-ish)
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 9:15 PM on May 10, 2007

It sounds like she's moved on to a new boyfriend (if it's even serious enough to be called that) so it seems like there's nothing she needs or wants you to do for the next ten months. You may just have to wait, unfortunately. And then, of course, get a paternity test.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 9:01 PM on May 9, 2007

nthing doing the dishes, or cleaning the house. Dishes are easier and with a well-defined end-point.

Watching funny stuff does it for me, either TV or online. Google "Yacht Rock" and enjoy.
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 7:54 PM on May 8, 2007

I grew up skinny and able to eat anything I wanted, but my metabolism has slowed way down (I am a lady in my mid-30s). I now have to pay attention to what I eat and how active I am. I've never dieted and have never been truly overweight, and if I always ate what I craved I wouldn't be skinny, so I think I can answer your question.

How do I know I've indulged too much over the holidays etc? My pants are tighter. It would feel like a big waste of money to have to buy a new... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by chowflap at 5:35 PM on May 6, 2007