Activity from melissa
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The opposite of presenteeism is...absenteeism?
Lots of good things have been said here so I won't repeat anything but this: if you're working nearly full days while sick at home, those aren't sick days. You're likely doing more during your sick time than your weakest/laziest colleague working in the office.
If your 'responsibilities are largely invisible except in their absence' maybe letting them be absent while you recover would force them to become more visible. Having other people not be able to cover everything… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 7:18 AM on October 20, 2017
What normal thing from your childhood would be considered strange today?
When I graduated kindergarten in 1984, all the girls in the class were supposed to kiss the principal on the cheek. I remember being all WTF about it (to five-year-old me, he was an old guy I barely knew who was in charge of the school) and not wanting to do it. I didn't dare speak up. My mom has said she thought it was weird when it happened. I don't think anyone spoke up about it. Can not imagine that happening now.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 12:58 PM on September 29, 2017 marked best answer
Baby vs Hurricane Names
I just checked and both mine and my husband's name are on the lists and my daughter's middle name (with a different spelling) is also on it. I had no idea our names were on the list until I checked your link. I also share a name with a nasty computer virus from 1999. Name your baby what you like.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 11:53 AM on September 28, 2017
What should I say instead of "fudge" around my kid?
I use several of the expressions others have posted and will likely try a few new ones I've learned here.
- unleash your inner Ned Flanders with a well-placed 'diddly'
- silly word combos like 'potatofart' or just 'oh fart' - not so great if you don't want to encourage bathroom words outside of the bathroom but it will induce giggling which helps when you're frustrated
- I had a neighbor that was teaching her kids to say… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 10:37 AM on September 28, 2017
Help me turn into the @$$hole customer who gets what they want
I agree with the 'polite and frequent' calls approach. Emphasize the impact/consequences of not having these things fixed - they will cost the apartment complex more money in long run, never mind that these issues affect your home life. If the manager (or the friend) is onsite, is there any way you can visit them in person, and ask them to come to the apartment to see the issues for themselves? Seeing you in person puts a face to the phone calls and humanizes the issue. If this doesn't work… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 8:49 AM on July 25, 2017
When do kids start having color preferences?
Variegated yarns could address some of this. My daughter would also have worn anything sparkly starting around 2 or 3 but I know that kind of yarn often isn't as soft so they might not like wearing stuff made with it as much. Matching colours to something special would likely go over well.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 1:59 AM on July 20, 2017
It was Wunderful while it lasted
My husband and I have used OurGroceries since 2009 for our shared lists. It's free, but ad-supported. You could pay to remove the ads, but I've never bothered. (I really should after all these years)
There are iPhone and Android versions and it worked for us when we were both on iPhones and after he switched to Android.
I've never really used the Notes feature but it seems to be associated with the list as a whole version an individual item on… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 11:11 AM on May 2, 2017
Big not tall
A personal shopping session at a department store may help, and are often free. Here's a link to the My Stylist @ Macy's FAQ page to get a feel for how it works. (I chose Macy's because they're not super high-end/expensive and I think they're all over the US - I'm Canadian so I'm not 100% sure of this.) You should be able to tell them about your style preferences before your appointment. They'll have you try things you never would have picked yourself and you could find styles/fabrics/colours… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 8:45 AM on March 8, 2017
Plus-size lingerie shopping, Amazon Prime edition
That Panache babydoll is gorgeous!
Is it bras/structured lingerie you're looking for, or would chemises/nightgowns/more flowing lingerie work?
As a fellow plus-sized busty woman, I agree with the Elomi recommendations. I also recommend visiting the /r/ABraThatFits subreddit. Those ladies know their stuff and will be able to help with "if this fits, what similar items should I try". Finally, I second stillmoving's suggestion of just… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 10:33 AM on January 7, 2017
Novels featuring airline life
I read and enjoyed "Love Me Anyway" by Tiffany Hawk.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 8:24 AM on December 15, 2016
I've got a bun in the oven! What to serve with that?
I don't remember much about what I ate during the newborn stage. I remember my mom making me a soup I liked and portioning it into individual bowls which I was grateful for but that's about it.) There are lots of great ideas here.
I do remember being desperately thirsty while nursing and wanting to have varied drinks on hand because I'm not a huge fan of plain water. Huge quantities of non-sweetened cranberry juice, iced tea, V-8 and caffeine free carbonated drinks were… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 6:29 PM on September 10, 2016
Please help me reach out to my niece and nephews
If you have a good relationship with your SIL, I would reach out to her first. That way she can give you a feel for what the kids need/would like. Even if your relationship isn't great, you can still reach out and say you and your son want to have a relationship with your niece/nephews no matter what your relationship is like with your brother. It may help your relationship with her, it may not.
Definitely keep any conversations light and fun. Video calls would likely… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 6:22 AM on August 23, 2016
What can I do for a family with a toddler with a chronic illness?
You'll probably get a better sense of what would be helpful/useful/possible once you go over there for your visit. Laundry service is useful, but not if they don't deliver and you have to go across town to pick it up. (I don't know how laundry services work, but this is just an example.)
I definitely agree that sending care packages and letters to both kids is important. Some special time with your older nephew, and be prepared that he might want to ask heavy questions… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 5:43 AM on August 12, 2016
Was my catalytic converter stolen?
It sounds like it may have been stolen (no pun intended).
I know nothing about cars but here's my experience. My catalytic converter was stolen off of my previous car back in late 2014. I started the car in the commuter parking lot and I sounded like a dinosaur or a Harley. It was loud. The guy next to me shot me a WTF look when I started it and I was wondering why he needed a souped-up car to commute to the train station. Then I realized "shit, that's me" and… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 12:48 PM on June 15, 2016
Leaving 1 year old for a week with grandparents, good or bad idea?
If your mom is willing, you should take advantage of the opportunity. This will get trickier to pull off as your child (and your mother, depending on her age) get older.
I left my daughter with my parents for a week when she was around 14 months. She was in home-based daycare and was used to other caregivers. She saw my parents regularly but not constantly as we live 2.5 hours apart. When we came back, we got some pictures of random shenanigans she got into with her… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 11:03 AM on April 26, 2016
Is "What's your sign?" a sign to move on?
I'm looking for intelligent books or essays about motherhood.
I read Between Interruptions: 28 Women Tell the Truth about Motherhood not long after I returned to work after my mat leave. I was comforted that I wasn't the only one feeling a bit lost as I figured out how to be all the things my life needed me to be.
This isn't essays, but a book I really found helpful during my pregnancy was From the Hips. It really helped me with my "OMG, what did I just do to my life" freakouts I had throughout the pregnancy. The tone… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 5:55 AM on December 17, 2015
Iphone text and call alerts- with or without headphones? Iphone 6
I was missing phone calls with my phone (an iPhone 6) sitting on my desk next to my keyboard when it was on vibrate. Sometimes I had headphones on, sometimes I did not.
I asked around and was recommended to get a smartwatch. I ended up with the Pebble Classic (this was before the Apple Watch was released), and it's helped. There's a few different styles/kinds now, so you don't have to spend as much as you would on an Apple Watch if that's a consideration. I hadn't worn… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 7:18 AM on December 9, 2015
Looking for advice on a new Kobo
I got the H2O for my birthday last month (thanks husband!). I upgraded from a Kobo Touch, which has no light. I was debating between the Glo HD and the H2O and the woman at the store also recommended the Aura. I went with the H2O because it's waterproof (I like read in the tub and I've gotten more cautious with my devices after a couple of water-based incidents in the last year). I also figured the larger size would result in few page turns.
I'm nearly a month in with… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 11:02 AM on September 10, 2015
"Hacks" filter: white-collar office work
Welcome back to work! Are you in the same company or starting somewhere new? There's advantages to both in your situation which I'm sure you're aware of and have considered deeply.
There's lots of great advice here and hopefully I'm only repeating some of it
I don't know if this is your first baby or not, but if you're responsible for childcare pickup/drop off, those times can wreak havoc on a person who was previously free to come in early/stay… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 5:56 AM on July 9, 2015
Is the sawdust from composite decking safe for my herb garden?
Covering the plants makes sense, and I wish I had figured out to do it before they had started! :) I'm at work now and can't go back to cover my plants until after the builders are gone for the day. I figure two days worth of sawdust isn't much worse than one day so covering the plants now might be a case of too little, too late.
I am following up via email with the company who manufactures the composite material to get more information. Let's hope they respond. I… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 8:29 AM on June 4, 2015
Follow up: I wrote the company and never heard back. We had a ton of rain so the worst of the sawdust was washed away, or deep enough in the dirt that there's no way I would have gotten it all out. I found the MSDS sheet online and it read as reasonably safe. I've been washing my herbs as I need them and no ill effects. Here's hoping any ill effects aren't slow ones. Thanks everyone for your insight.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 10:52 AM on July 7, 2015
first chapter books for 5 year old?
Over the last year or so, we've read these books to our daughter:
the Ivy and Bean series (she really liked these, and we did too)
a Roald Dahl box set (we read everything but his memoirs and most were well-received
Judy Blume's Fudge series (you may want to pre-read - one talks about how Santa isn't real and the kids talk about it - I wasn't ready to burst that bubble yet, so we skipped that part.)
the Nancy Clancy series… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 10:12 AM on June 15, 2015
If you could only read one parenting book.. (Or two or three)
I got a lot out of From the Hips. It covered pregnancy and baby's first year in a very non-judgmental way. It also addressed the "oh shit, WTF did I just do to my life?" feelings that can be very scary and isolating during pregnancy/new parenthood that other books didn't cover.
Another book I liked was the Canadian Medical Association's Complete Book Of Mother And Baby Care it was (a lot) drier but spelled things out clearly and mostly without judgement. Lots… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 5:03 AM on May 1, 2015
Oh hey, it's that guy!
Wally Lamb 's books take place in the same general area and characters from earlier books often show up in other books. I really enjoy how he brings them in - it doesn't feel forced.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 5:50 AM on March 18, 2015 marked best answer
What are the weirdest alcoholic spirits you know of?
Amarula is pretty tasty. My husband took a mixology class years ago and had to create a cocktail. He did Amarula/Goldschlager/chocolate ice cream in the blender and it was tasty (and very potent - there may have been some vodka due to the amount of alcohol required per drink). We never bought the stuff again but we're more wine/beer/scotch drinkers these days.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 6:46 PM on October 14, 2014
Brushing your teeth (even flossing) in a public restroom: ok?
Women brush their teeth in the shared bathroom in my office all the time. Not sure about the men's room but I heard from an officemate that he saw someone brushing his teeth while at the urinal. We all agreed that was a terrible idea. I am curious to how he actually pulled both tasks off at the same time but I don't think that's a regular occurrence.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 7:01 AM on October 1, 2014
How to not live in the suburbs.
Would it be worth it to talk to a realtor to help you guys find a neighbourhood in your desired city that would meet both sets of needs without breaking the bank? Maybe your city has some up-and-coming neighbourhoods that would work.
We lived in a small city home until our daughter was three. We then moved to the closest suburb to our city (we both still work in the city) because the house was bursting at the seams with the stuff a small child brings into your life.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 5:58 AM on October 25, 2013
Help me find a new perfect purse!
I post about Lug bags in every find-me-a-purse thread. Some of these are out of your price range, but they have wide bands, come in great colours and are very well made. They're worth the investment, especially if you carry a lot of stuff around.
My last three purses have been Lugs and I've switched because I wanted a new purse, not because I wrecked them. They're worth investing in.
They list their measurements so you can get a feel for the size.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 9:21 AM on October 17, 2013
"Fluffy" isn't gonna cut it
So many good names here! We just named our new kitten Rosie, and it's perfect for her. Maybe it'll work for you?
(I had a 5 year old helping with the naming process and I was really trying to avoid naming her something princess-y. No offense sugarbomb, but I didn't want to call a cat Princess Fluffybutt for the next ~15 years. :)
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 6:09 AM on September 20, 2013
Ideas to better use my free time at work. Short attention span version.
I could have written this question nearly word for word. My summers at work are often slow and there is only so much busy work one can do that's actually useful to anyone. I'm definitely going to try out some of these suggestions.
I like Codecademy, but it's hard to jump in and out if you have a slow time for a few days, then you're busy for a few weeks. Hard to pick up where you left off.
Pinterest can be fun, especially if you are looking for… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 12:07 PM on September 6, 2013
Cool ergonomic purse?
I couldn't afford the Macallan 18 for my husband's birthday last month, so I bought the Macallan 15 and it was very well received.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 6:23 AM on July 11, 2013
Best tablet and workflow for blogging
backwards guitar: That was an interesting read. I'm not so sure I want to get into Python stuff right now, but it's fascinating to see what's possible.
mephron: I do have and use the Wordpress app on my phone (which I meant to mention on my list). It's a lot better than it used to be (it used to crash on me a lot), but I find it frustrating to insert pictures from my Flickr account because of all the switching between apps.
I also like the idea… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 12:34 PM on May 13, 2013
There is embeddable code on Flickr's site, but you need to go to the standard site to get it. (After all the work they did on the iPhone version of the Flickr app, I''m not sure why they made blogging those pictures such an ornery process.)
Will look into Qute - thanks!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 3:20 PM on May 13, 2013
Quality Temporary Tattoos
This tattoo shop manufactures temporary tattoos. They're located just outside Toronto. I don't have any experience with their temporary tattoos, but I've been in the shop and they seem to be pretty legit. Their website is very customer-oriented.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 10:16 AM on February 26, 2013
Does my ideal purse exist?
Pimp my office PC, nonprofit style
Gift for a newborn baby
I got this Skip Hop Pronto changing station for my daughter when she was a newborn. I used it constantly. It was good when out and about, either as part of a larger diaper bag or when the baby got bigger as something that could be thrown in the car/stroller on its own. My husband liked it too since it wasn't a purse-like diaper bag.
Outside of that, I liked getting diapers (since we went through so many in those early days), wipes and cute clothes. I know you said… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 6:02 PM on January 1, 2013
How should I pack a four year olds lunch?
I bought my daughter's lunch stuff from Fenigo. They have lots of the items mentioned here in Canadian prices and they ship reasonably quickly.
We use the Dabba Walla lunch bag which holds lots, and is machine washable (I wash it once a week and rinse out when necessary.) I use these containers, which are plastic (so not quite what you want), but they are BPA-free and easy to open.
For a drink, I was using a Contigo cup, but that just broke. It… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 7:57 AM on November 22, 2012
New mom food delivery with a delay factor.
Adding to everyone else. Food given to parents anytime during the first 18 years is awesome. Offering to take care of other things while you're there is huge too.
Something to think about: if your friend/their partner is breastfeeding, consider bringing interesting non-alcoholic beverages. Nursing makes you thirsty and drinking plain water gets boring. I went through a pile of those huge cranberry juice jugs in the first few months and I always ran out when I was home… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 4:58 PM on May 5, 2012
How often do you finish a bottle of lotion?
I don't think I've ever completely finished a bottle of lotion except for my everyday face moisturizer. I either grow sick of the scent, or it goes a bit off due to hanging around so long.
I don't use as much lotion as I probably should for optimum skin hydration.
I've even experimented with making my own lotions (mostly using unscented base) and I don't even finish the stuff I've thoughtfully scented with my own fragrance oils (cosmetic grade).… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 6:46 PM on February 4, 2012
Fish on Monday, rice and beans on Friday?
I've been looking for something similar and I haven't found anything that does all of the things you list either. (I was actually going to post on AskMe about this myself, but I'm glad you did because your point about optimization isn't something I thought about.)
The real downfall it seems is being able to pull recipes from other sites. I have accounts on several meal sites and I'd really like to be able to pull recipes from all of them to create my weekly plan.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 1:31 PM on September 26, 2011
Why do parents refer to themselves in 3rd person when talking to their young children?
I think by the time a kid would notice it, the parent doesn't need to do it anymore so they usually don't.
I do this currently with my daughter, who is three. I go back and forth between saying "Mummy" or I/me. depending on the situation.
Before she was verbal, I figured it helped her know who we were to her. So she'd know not to call us by our first names.
Little kids are totally self-centred. They also have… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 6:59 PM on September 21, 2011
Help me do what I should have done as a dad
When I watched my stepdad and my daughter when she was your granddaughter's age (from a distance in a "my heart is going to burst from the cuteness" way, not as a hovering parent), what I remember him doing was just puttering around the yard (my folks have a big yard) and he'd show her things, tell her what they were and just let her check them out. Tree bark, grass, birds flying, that sort of thing. I assume when she's older, he'll take her into the garage and show her how to fix… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 5:38 PM on September 18, 2011
Work baby shower ideas?
We often do work baby showers over a potluck lunch or "teatime" (sweets and drinks in mid-afternoon). Gets more people to come and then we have a nice spread without a lot of cash outlay on the organizer's part. If you have a dollar store nearby you can pick up shower themed plates/cups/decorations. Buy a stash and you're ready for next time.
At my office, we usually do gift cards based on crowd contributions, but some people always buy gifts. There's usually… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 5:07 PM on July 24, 2011
nothing new under the sun
It's a boy!
I love my Skip Hop Pronto Diaper Changer and am still using it with my almost two-year-old. The changing pad is getting small for her, but it's great for smaller babies when you're out and about. I would throw it in a diaper bag to keep things organized and now that I'm not going through multiple outfits a day, I just strap it to the stroller (or throw it in my car) and go.
Be careful not to overstuff it - I blew one of the inside zippers months ago and discovered a… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 1:23 PM on July 27, 2010
Which baby carrier should I buy?
I used a Sleepy Wrap starting at about 1 month old and both me and my daughter liked it. I used it at home and out and about. It worked really well for when I was walking the dog. Since it was a stretchy wrap (but not too stretchy), it worked outside in winter with full soft snowsuit and in spring/early summer when we were both wearing less clothing.
One tip with the stretchy-style wraps. Tie them as tight as you can. Tie them so you think there's no way your baby is… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 10:29 AM on July 26, 2010
Help me dye my hair red.
In my experience (nearly sixteen years of colouring my hair varying shades of red, first from a box, then with a salon), the expensive salon shampoo is totally worth it. I usually go to my stylist every eight weeks (rather than every six) due to budget constraints. While I initially balked at the price of the products he recommended me, I found my hair didn't fade as quickly, and didn't go brassy at all (more of a problem with drugstore dyes, but YMMV).
The best part… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by melissa at 7:15 PM on July 14, 2010