Don't give this crazy, controlling jerk cookies, plants, or attention of any sort. She wants attention, and any attention you give has the potential to open your life up to brand new forms of her lunacy.

If it were me, I wouldn't exchange a word with her unless extremely unusual circumstances forced me to do so -- such as an approaching tsunami. There is no point in getting involved with this sort of asshole. They either want to start something (because they love petty... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 2:51 PM on June 30, 2008

I work in a situation where butterflies are available for public viewing - as in, they can walk around in a room with free butterflies, although they are not allowed to touch (and the butterflies almost never touch them). They come in as chrysallis, and are released -- I released about 10 or so yesterday.

Until I worked here, it never would have occurred to me that anyone would be afraid of butterflies, but there are several people a day who are afraid and won't go in.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 7:33 AM on June 28, 2008 marked best answer

You aren't a vegetarian, but who cares? You can't really be this worried about whether or not you have to "eat your words", that you're considering crossing over to vegetarianism just to justify a white lie.

Who the hell cares what your coworkers think of your eating habits and how you justify them? Go on and keep lying to them if that's what's going to make it easiest on you, and feel free to keep living your life the way you were.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 5:21 PM on June 25, 2008

Well, I don't think you're uptight. And I pretty much agree with ND¢'s analysis of the situation. Some personalities are not compatible, anyway. This isn't shameful.

I've known people who could have done precisely the things you mention, in exactly the fashion you describe. A few flashed through my head as I read your post. It's totally believable to me that someone would pull this garbage. You don't have to feel uptight for finding certain behaviors... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 9:25 PM on June 20, 2008 marked best answer

Well, I can often feel my stomach pulse, as well. I don't think that, in itself, is what you need to worry about. As people have already said, it's the fact that the symptoms have changed that's the problem.

So, yes, please see a doctor. I've had similar experiences that you have, as far as doctors not taking seriously anything I have to say. Get on the phone, ask your friends for a good doctor, make an emergency appointment.

But don't allow... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 2:33 PM on June 17, 2008

Those aren't oddities. It's could be that your friends have no imagination or don't know how to make jokes, and just keep making the same ones over and over again.

It could also be what you mentioned yourself - that these people don't know a lot about you, and are clinging to something they do know to open a conversation. I have to say, I only do that kind of thing with people I know in the most glancing way -- people who I am okay with but don't particularly want to know better.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 7:37 AM on May 24, 2008

I knew you were talking about Bradford pears as soon as I read your post. But when I had my first experience with them, I thought they smelled like menstrual blood.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 5:34 PM on May 1, 2008

My very sensitive, rash-prone, skin has improved on mineral make-up (pressed powder in my case). I hadn't worn makeup in years before I tried the mineral stuff. However, my problems aren't the same as yours -- I get some pimples, but mostly my problem is a nonstop facial peeling that is helped by nothing. If I exfoliate, I don't look like ole dandruff face when I use the makeup. I don't use any products for that, though. Less is usually more when it comes to products and your poor face, acne or... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 5:15 PM on April 29, 2008

I used to be on Retin-A Micro, before my skin dramatically changed into a different type. It was great, but it took probably six months before I saw full improvement. There may just be some waiting left to do.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 10:21 AM on March 17, 2008 marked best answer

Ha. Dean Milan, "Do it Like a Dog". Here.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 11:48 AM on March 7, 2008

The Dormouse.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 11:26 AM on March 4, 2008

I've worked in two pretty different grocery stores in proximity to the sushi people.

At both the stores I worked at, the sushi department wasn't really part of the store proper -- I'm not sure what the relationship was.

At Store 1, the sushi department was first run by an older married couple, who were pretty skilled, especially given the subpar ingredients they had to work with. They retired, and a younger married couple took over. They were... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 10:47 AM on March 4, 2008

Kate Bush did "The Infant Kiss" as "Un Baiser d'enfant".
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 7:13 AM on February 15, 2008

I agree with katillathehun -- you need to find a way to slip it into normal conversation. I've both delivered and received uncomfortable news this way, on many occasions. Anytime I've been on the receiving end of this method, the pain was less because I felt as though the other person was trying to save me some embarrassment. I preferred it to any Big Serious Discussions that could have taken place.

And, don't beat yourself up too much about how badly you may have... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 6:51 PM on February 8, 2008

Also too late, but "Young Female Caucasian" by Chris Knox, cannot escape mention here. Oh, the sorrow and tears.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 5:08 PM on February 7, 2008

Female, and I played this all the time. Sometimes, I would have different types of hazards in the same room, though, like a water trap, a cliff, quicksand, whatever. Maybe your coworker never bothered to actually ask any females if they played this game, too.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 9:39 AM on February 4, 2008

Liz Phair, "Stratford-On-Guy"
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 5:29 PM on February 2, 2008

Friend of Coatlicue says this:

If you're looking for a great cheap bass. I'd recommend a OLP MM2 4-String Bass Guitar (Black Rosewood Fretboard). Musicians friend sells them for $249.99. This bass is a cheap version of the Ernie Ball music man basses. You won't find a better bass for that price. For about another hundred bucks you can get one with two pickups. Either way OLP's sound awesome. They've got alot of punch in them. It growls. Very playable. Also, the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 8:26 PM on January 2, 2008

When I was that age and somewhat younger, none of my secrets were dangerous or truly Important in the practical sense. But I permanently lost a large amount of trust in the adults who I told my secrets to other adults. This included my otherwise-sweet maternal grandmother.

It's true that secrets are currency amongst children. When you needlessly break their trust, they'll know you see their thoughts, feelings, and secrets as inconsequential and unimportant. They may... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 7:34 AM on December 21, 2007

I'm with Gordian Knot and sneakin. All the way.

Yet I have, in fact, approached (hundreds?) of women on subways and city streets (mostly in NYC) to tell them them they're gorgeous, and ask them out on the spot - most are taken, it's never proceeded past a coffee even if they're single, but 99% were grinning a mile-wide even if they said "No."

Are you really doing this? Dude. Of course they're saying no. You're acting... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 1:48 PM on December 18, 2007

Dear lord, I love the hmsbeagle's and schroedinger's answers forever.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 1:53 PM on December 18, 2007

My brother is of the group that refer to Hope Mills, NC as "Hopeless Mills". Other NC towns: I've heard "Lily White Lillington" (mostly from the older set in my family), and "Containment Area for Relocated Yankees" for Cary.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 11:10 AM on December 17, 2007

I'm with dino terror. I do this too, and the pain sucks -- although it's not quite excrutiating, and I don't have a white-out. I also have no real headache history. Anyway, it happens whenever I yank my head to the side, and it only happens upon yanking to the right. It always seems to occur more often when my neck muscles and etc are knotty and tensed up. Or when my posture is bad.

And when this happens to me (often when driving, actually), I get a numb spot in the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 12:14 PM on November 17, 2007

When I was living with my now-ex-boyfriend, I came home from my tedious grocery store job one day, to find that he had detatched the volume control knob from my computer's speakers, and carefully glued it to the bottom right underside of my monitor. So I could control my volume with ultimate ease.

I don't think he ever knew how much that tickled me, and how well it demonstrated that he not only loved me, but really knew me.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 5:30 PM on November 13, 2007

I don't want children, and it's so far not been an issue with people I have dated, as the majority have been of the same opinion. However, I think it's worth it to stay with your boyfriend, despite this difference. I'm not going to tell you that you're going to change your mind on this subject, because, well, I don't necessarily believe it. Not to mention that you've been told that enough, and you're always going to hear that from people who may never question a person's decision to engage in or... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 5:55 AM on November 12, 2007 marked best answer

People keep saying "drink a lot of water", but I've also heard that stepping up your water intake doesn't do that much good. I drink a looooot of water, and my skin is still miserably dry all year long.

Jojoba oil has delivered me time and time again. I try to put a little on my face and other areas of delicate skin before I shower. It tends to protect my skin from the water, and wash off just enough so I'm not oily-looking, but not so much that I'm back to... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 8:26 PM on November 8, 2007

God, I hate those guys -- the ones who demand you smile at them.

Unless he's clueless, he knows he makes you uncomfortable. And he obviously isn't harmless if he's using this worn-out, annoying method of forcing friendly female attention out of you. He may not be physically dangerous, but he's making you miserable.

There was a dude like this living in my building. I was nice at first, and then he started pulling that "smile for me"... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 6:53 PM on November 6, 2007 marked best answer

When I have to make decisions like this, I think to myself, "Which one of these people is being the asshole here?" And then I try to make my decision in favor of the person who's acting well.

In your case, the options are "Dave" or "Mom" and the answer is "Mom". Dave is being reasonable, your mother isn't, and it's your wedding.

And once again, think of your wife-to-be. If I were in her... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 7:47 AM on November 6, 2007

I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't go, either. That saves you both participating in this idiocy, and embarrassing your boyfriend (who ought to be standing up for you. I don't know how you manage to date someone who's so fixated on the opinions of others that he's willing to pressure you into going through with something you find ridiculous).

I've only dated one person whose family expected their son's American wives/girlfriends to conform to their family's cultural traditions... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 7:09 AM on November 6, 2007

Is it that your daughter doesn't believe in God, or that she doesn't believe in the Judeo-Christian God? And can she tell the difference at this point? I don't know if I would have.

I knew kids in middle school and high school who were in similar situations as your daughter, and it seemed as though they weren't separating the concept of a God, from the concept of the biblical God. Often, they'd say things that amounted to, "I... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 8:48 PM on November 2, 2007

I've always liked the Ivory Carvers Trilogy (Mother Earth Father Sky, My Sister the Moon, Brother Wind) , by Sue Harrison. It's, very loosely, about Aleuts in the ice age, and it definitely fits the nature of your request.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 9:52 PM on November 1, 2007

I don't have good advice about whether or not to euthanize your dog, but I must say, I've been bitten by a few dogs over the years (a couple of them family dogs), and none of them were put down for it. The worst bite was from a grumpy, scared dog who was staying the weekend in a kennel at which I used to work. I never would have asked the owner to put their dog down, because it was obvious she was deeply afraid of her unfamiliar, uncomfortable, stinky circumstances - and also of me, the big... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 10:08 AM on November 1, 2007

For years, my brother and I had been suspecting our grandfather of having little strokes, or transient ischemic attacks or whatever. Recently, said grandfather had an MRI due to suspicious symptoms. It turned out my brother and I had been correct in our fears, unfortunately. And he was having symptoms of far less startling severity than yours.

Now he's on medication to help reduce the likelihood of future strokes, and he doesn't have a lot of serious... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 5:07 PM on October 26, 2007

I had that waist-length-hair-until-college thing going, then I cut it to medium length. And after college, to pretty short. I don't think I'd ever go back to hair that long, although at the time, I did like the compliments. It's just past my shoulders now, and it's making me bananas. What I like best about keeping shorter hair: doesn't get as raggedy as long hair, takes about five seconds to brush, and uses very little shampoo or conditioner, if I want to use either. And air-drying is much... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 4:37 PM on October 16, 2007

If you don't feel like doing it, then I don't see why you need to try it just to see what's it's like.

I have no female friends who currently wax, though some shave. I don't even think it's the majority, based on conversations that have taken place on the subject. Many of them trim it to some degree, but don't remove it all.

Not to mention that it's kind of rude for people to imply that people who shave or wax are "cleaner". I get... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 10:10 AM on October 15, 2007

If I were in your girlfriend's position (and I've been in similar situations indeed), and you got me this present, I might believe you were trying to assuage your guilt, and make yourself feel better about dumping me. Like you had "done me right" and didn't have to feel as bad for hurting me, because you had rewarded me materially on my birthday. I'm not saying she will feel like this, but it's a possibility.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 2:42 PM on September 29, 2007

timory: I'm female, and orgasms put me to sleep with a menace.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 8:09 PM on September 24, 2007

There's a lot of good advice here, that should be considered and tried out. But I'm worried that the bigger problem here is that you've gotten fatalistic about your appearance problems. You believe you look terrible, and you believe there's no changing that.

It's likely that your appearance is much better than you think that it is. Very likely. Please keep that in mind when you feel miserable about it. Don't sabotage yourself, either -- do your best to maintain and... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 8:54 AM on September 21, 2007

My mother does this. So does her mother. My brother and I are more tired of this than can be easily estimated. She's not much of a drinker as far as we know (which is pretty well). However, she is screwed up on two things, all the time:

1. Her serious, worsening, untreated, all-pervasive, all-encompassing mental problems (depression, anxiety, abandonment/betrayal/anger/control/self-control issues to the extreme
2. Heavy regimen of antihistamines, light... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 1:19 PM on September 18, 2007

For future reference: Spend some time with What's that Bug's spider section one day. Or BugGuide's -- there's a link to BugGuide on here already.

It's weird to me that people debate the danger posed by each individual spider type they see. Even weirder that many people I know don't seem to realize that spiders aren't designed to stalk and injure humans, and may not even notice you exist. Even a tiny bit of reading on the subject can relieve a lot of anxiety.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 8:11 AM on September 18, 2007

I don't hate him, but he does very little for me. And some of his songs, I find obnoxious, or tedious. Couldn't say exactly why, but it's something about vocal style in combination with his lyrics. However, I do think he's an adorable person.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 9:53 AM on September 16, 2007

My brother and I had a grandfather named James, and a grandfather named Verlin. We used the same title for both of them (Grandaddy), but my brother couldn't get a grip on "Verlin". So that grandfather answered to "Grandaddy Burn" for some time. My brother was full of cute, improbable mispronunciations. He called Santa Claus "Claw Ways".

I'm pretty sure I remember referring to my great-uncle Boyd as "Uncle Bird".... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 12:25 PM on September 11, 2007

I agree that it has to do with control, and I would bet it specifically has to do with assuming control of one's own fate. That was my experience, at least. But for me, it had nothing to do with feeling real or alive, and was not really associated with pain or euphoria. The main issue was the feeling of belonging to myself, and to no one else.

And, I am also a big fan of Jilder's response.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 8:00 PM on September 9, 2007

I used to do this with certain clothing items, when I was in college. If it air-dries evenly and quickly enough, I don't see the problem with doing this. Even if it doesn't, and has that musty smell, I still think this is harmless enough to qualify as not a big deal.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 7:34 PM on August 28, 2007

Maybe there's a difference. I'd say that most people I know behave as if those two states are quite different. But I think I agree with the previous comments as to why this is the case.

My situation is strikingly similar to yours, emotionally (though I'm not dating, am far from asexual, and have always been one variant or another of bisexual). I love a certain group of people deeply, but I don't think I've really had the emotional experiences my friends describe, when... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Coatlicue at 11:16 AM on August 20, 2007