New passports. Also, you keep more of your earnings now (I was shocked at the difference, actually). If you own a home together, even if the contract is written in one spouse's name, you are equally liable; same for property. This applies to equity, sales, taxes, escrow, all the fun stuff. So make sure how you want all that arranged. New SSNs and ID's of course if you changed names.

I would NOT get checks with both your names on them... that's how accidents happen and... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 10:46 PM on October 6, 2008 marked best answer

I was so pissed I couldn't get Doppelgangster. I almost didn't believe it was real until I saw it in an infodump.

whoever you are, man? I'm still cooler than you, fucking dropout. mutter.</small.
posted to MetaTalk by Unicorn on the cob at 10:33 PM on October 6, 2008

I was with my husband for 10 as well but no kids... and having come from divorced parents, I understand about your daughter, too. I was an only child, and so most of this is going to come from the perspective of being an only daughter from divorce.

One thing I have to emphasize is DO NOT use her to get information. If you find out your ex-wife is dating, do not pry for information. Do not make her feel like a "spy" for either parent. If you find out your wife... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 10:41 AM on October 5, 2008

Oh, yes, I saw some of this work last year here in Dallas and it was really amazing to behold. I was very impressed; the Crow collection has never looked so modern... like slowly pulsating insects. Lovely.

Uncle Ira, I wonder if we passed each other there?
posted to MetaFilter by Unicorn on the cob at 9:56 AM on October 4, 2008

Every time I've fallen in love it's been stronger, and mostly it's been a better fit, too, as far as what I could live with in a long-term partner. I've always had good sex with people I was in love with, but having sex with someone you're not in love with can be very disappointing.

But, you're a guy, and your experience may be different. I have had sex with a virgin before and he didn't tell me he was one at the time until well over a year later and I could never tell... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 1:35 PM on October 1, 2008

Oh god I can't do math today I'm so hungover. I'm only on the gray because it stops the eyeball pain of being at work.

so, kudos to all the people who are witty, popular and wise.

As usual, Mr. Shatner is a perpetual favorite at the 'Cons.
posted to MetaTalk by Unicorn on the cob at 12:43 PM on October 1, 2008

b1tr0t: That was the plan... but if I need a tooth capped, I blow a tire, anything, I have to charge it on my credit card.

Comfortably I suppose is a relative term. I can buy groceries and gas, and I can go out once or twice a month. I can eat a meal in a restaurant possibly once a month. I have allowed myself to buy clothes five or six times in two years (as in, five or six outfits in two years). One pair of shoes, maybe two, in three years.

So,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 7:21 PM on September 29, 2008

I do actually have 3 tips for speed dating, if you try it:

1. Do NOT talk about work. At all. Don't mention your job and if the other person tries, stop them. If you research the history of speed dating and dig a little, you'll see that this was one of the things they specifically asked people not to do. So much of our lives is focused on work or school, and you're not going to be dating someone's job or class schedule. You'll be spending time with this person elsewhere..... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 11:08 AM on September 29, 2008 marked best answer

Dear god, the world is poorer today for this loss.
posted to MetaFilter by Unicorn on the cob at 1:45 PM on September 27, 2008

What about Miriam Makeba? I would post a link but this is from my Blackberry in a seminar...
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 4:09 PM on September 24, 2008

Change the locks, get her stuff to a mutual friend if you can so you don't face her, block her numbers and emails... or, change your phone number.

Emotional blackmail only works if you allow it to happen. If you cannot contact her and she cannot contact you, it's going to hurt like hell for a few days. You will wonder if she's okay. DO NOT contact her. Every day you are apart, the guilt and stress will melt away and you will probably get angry with yourself for allowing... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 11:00 AM on September 22, 2008

I demand the hackers of MeFi and/or cops and/or government agents that lurk here find his ex-wife and Matt waives the $5 fee for her to tell us her story firsthand. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED, MAN. Who IS this guy?

(Or where she's buried, at least.)

I have read close to 300,000 dating profiles and I am just speechless.

OOPS, I SWORE! Disqualified. (kicks ground in frustration)

I'm... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Unicorn on the cob at 1:48 AM on September 20, 2008

I can't help that I'm pale, but fuck a bunch of Hot Topic cheaply made bullshit. I will NEVER get over that... it's like KBToys for suicidal teens. There was a time when looking like that was work, and even so, I never... ugh. I just wore a lot of black.

Yes, that's me typing that, for serious.

There are a lot of attractive, morbidly fascinating things in the world that draw the attention of that crowd (Edward Gorey, Victorian... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Unicorn on the cob at 9:10 PM on September 18, 2008

Jilder, I didn't deny it... I just don't dress like this anymore.

well maybe every once in a while, I still have some vinyl in the closet that ain't records

I bet the scene where you live is a magnitude of 10 cooler than where I am.

Black hair? Check. Red lipstick? Check. Joy Division, Siouxsie, The Cure, The Glove and Coil on my ipod DAILY? yep. Section 25, "Looking from a Hilltop",... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Unicorn on the cob at 12:01 PM on September 19, 2008

You might try looking into Veramyst (which is nasal, preventative, and helps control asthma on a daily basis) or Singulair (pill). I've tried both and people tend to be 50/50... Some like the Veramyst because it has a small dose of steroids, I prefer the Singulair because I get wigged out sticking something up my nose every day.

YMMV. But since I use a preventative, I no longer do what you do (which was use albuterol before and after a workout... which I did daily,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 11:41 AM on September 19, 2008

So when is the New New Testament coming out? I mean, we have other people writing followup Heinlein books, sequels to Gone With the Wind, new Bond books... now this?

Note: When I say "New New Testament", I don't mean Scientology, The Book of Mormon, or any Star Trek novels.

Fuck all this noise.

Can't people write THEIR OWN FUCKING ORIGINAL IDEAS ANYMORE!!!... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Unicorn on the cob at 5:09 PM on September 17, 2008

god... dammit Artw. just. that.
posted to MetaFilter by Unicorn on the cob at 6:06 PM on September 17, 2008

(backs away from Artw with rosary, garlic, Thesaurus)
posted to MetaFilter by Unicorn on the cob at 8:19 AM on September 18, 2008

Metroid Baby, you promised not to tell. ; )

Are we still on for that MeFi slumber party this weekend?

Only smart cool girlsnobs invited!
posted to MetaTalk by Unicorn on the cob at 5:20 PM on September 17, 2008

I want the Kardashians to go back and make another self-serving video about helping out one New Orleans family and acting like they were outdoing Brangelina by throwing a gambling fund-raiser with Kim's boyfriend Reggie.

It's obvious I am at home on a sick day watching crappy TV and reading tabloids, sorry about that.
posted to MetaFilter by Unicorn on the cob at 5:14 PM on September 17, 2008

Look... what everyone else said, and also make sure you are alone and in a place where you feel totally comfortable telling her. Either her place or yours is ideal, and you might want to phrase it in such a way that you let her know that you know that nobody is perfect, and that you accept her exactly as she is... and you want her to know that you are not perfect, and are hoping that she can accept you exactly the way you are... and that these patterns have stopped and she... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 5:01 PM on September 17, 2008

This might sound gross but wholegrain bread with lowfat peanut butter and bacon bits is actually pretty good and counterbalances all the sweet things that are on option and you don't have to refrigerate it. Disclaimer: this is not my choice but lots of people like it after trying.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 12:32 AM on September 17, 2008

The Prisoner. NOBODY will do a theme around The Prisoner!

No man is a number (your grades); University is supposed to be idyllic but often feels like a prison; there are tests, and paranoia... it's heavily referenced in Lost for you young folk.

It's a great allegory, you'll stand out and be cool, and um also ohpleaseohpleaseohplease?
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 12:18 AM on September 17, 2008

I live next door to a Pitt Bull and saw him raised as a puppy; he is quiet, not much of a barker, mostly outside and will come to me in a friendly way, let me play with him, and watches me with little interest when I'm outside.

But the fence between us is a metal and jumpable fence made of cast iron he can get most of his head and neck through, and I have nieces and nephews. I'll be watching this thread with interest.

My honest inclination is to... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 12:15 AM on September 17, 2008

Wait wait what the fuck? At this rate I am NEVER going to be able to sell my house. I haven't checked my 401k in a while because crying at work is somewhat frowned upon.
posted to MetaFilter by Unicorn on the cob at 8:28 PM on September 14, 2008

Wait, um, I have a question? These assholes, they smell like pennies, or Chrysanthemums, a traditional funeral flower in Korea, France, Croatia, Poland and Japan? Japan's yen is kicking our dollar's ass.

Either way... this shit stinks and there are a few too many apt metaphors flying around.

That's all I'm saying.
posted to MetaFilter by Unicorn on the cob at 10:32 PM on September 16, 2008

Holy shit, this means there's only one other dude out there for me now. SUCK.
posted to Projects by Unicorn on the cob at 9:19 PM on September 15, 2008

Oh wait, nevermind, there's 50 guys. Note to self: slider technology + flu meds = cannot brain, total dumb.
posted to Projects by Unicorn on the cob at 9:24 PM on September 15, 2008

My appreciation for good black and white (and even silent) films is so visceral and raw... it's like when a perfect ray of light pierces a huge cloud in the sky and a tear involuntarily rolls down my cheek.

Anyone who doesn't understand the intensity and necessity of such pure pleasures in life? Man, I'm so sorry for you. That being said, it's just my gut reaction to such things.

This applies to photography as well.
posted to MetaFilter by Unicorn on the cob at 9:14 PM on September 15, 2008

I feel incredibly grateful to live in Dallas right now; we had bad weather Saturday, but no big deal. My cousins who own a home in Port Arthur (and a boat) lost everything there; lucky for them, they had another home up here in Ft. Worth.
posted to MetaTalk by Unicorn on the cob at 8:51 PM on September 15, 2008

1. If someone is willing to lie to you about something major, they will lie about anything, including saying anything possible to win you back. I know this firsthand.

2. In the future, if you feel ANYTHING is wrong in a relationship break it off immediately. I have had this problem more than once (not cheating, but pathological levels of deception, living two separate lives, secret debt, hidden drug usage, making excuses that literally make no sense at all)... from men I... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 1:34 PM on September 15, 2008

I never learned to ride a bike so quit showing off, all you showoffy technogeeks.

kidding, kidding!
posted to MetaTalk by Unicorn on the cob at 10:47 AM on September 15, 2008

Actually, my family is so guilty of this shit I have the 3-step process down:

1. Dear ___, please do not spam me at work or I'll get fired and then you will have to provide me with a place to live.

2. If it's not just 27 "funny" cartoons about Obama, women vs. men or stupid petitions, the above is followed by (link to snopes proving child isn't abducted/substance was removed from medication 14 years ago/WalMart doesn't own Lowes, etc.).... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Unicorn on the cob at 11:17 AM on September 14, 2008

Thanks for all the suggestions, guys. I mostly have an EXTREMELY sore throat, feel achy, and feel like I constantly need to clear something for my chest, so I'm going to lie here, continue to drink Theraflu and tea (with raw honey, what little is left of it in the house), and sleep. The people at work are going to think I'm making stuff up, getting sick twice in two weeks with the same symptoms!
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 7:30 AM on September 14, 2008

gjc, I got the FluMist on Thursday, September 4; I had been working 36 hour shifts and whatnot at work, so I was run down but had no sniffly, cold-like symptoms. I started feeling bad Sunday, September 7. I felt better and had the margaritas now two days ago, September 12.


I can only recall EVER having the flu in my life well over a decade ago, when I was in college, and they were giving out free flu shots (and I was told then it wasn't a dead vaccine but a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 10:03 AM on September 14, 2008

It's a French film called Fantastic Planet. IMDB link.

Pretty sure this gets asked somewhat frequently here for some reason, too!
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 11:12 PM on September 13, 2008 marked best answer

When I was a kid I had Scarlet Fever and I almost died (not to scare you) because they thought it was bronchitis.

I had already been to the doctor, and had been on a two-day regimen of antibiotics; I think I was about 8 years old. I remember suddenly feeling much, much worse: intense throat pain, really high fever/delirium, blurry vision, swollen tongue... I remember crawling out of my bed and crawling into my parents' bedroom crying and saying "mommy, wake up, I'm... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 12:14 PM on September 11, 2008

The Fresh Sugar Lip Treatment is the best thing I have ever used on my lips; it makes them insanely soft, smells delicious, isn't sticky and doesn't have anything gross in it, the package is ecologically responsible and it's the most effective thing I've ever found to protect and heal chapped lips. It smells like lychee and feels like silk; your mouth could never be softer. I'm addicted to it and willing to sell books in order to buy it; you'll never use anything like chapstick or Burt's Bees... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 11:56 AM on September 11, 2008

Two anecdotal things:

1. Sex drive = enhanced along with all sexual things
2. Vaporizers are safer than smoking for many reasons, not the least of which is, you don't smell like a drug that is, in many ways, if not illegal where you live, at least possibly frowned upon, depending your circumstances. And when I say vaporizer, I mean this.

My ex smoked every day for years, and the two things that were negative about it is that we were... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 12:21 PM on August 31, 2008

She is the mother; you are the child. Stop being the mother. Allow yourself to have your life, and do not allow the fact that you have taken care of others your whole life to sabotage your potential to build lasting, loving relationships with your husband and his family, regardless of her attempts to thwart that and draw your attention back to her.

If you try to swoop in and save her now, your ability to have a normal, non-codependent relationship with others will be... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 10:41 AM on August 14, 2008

MMMMMMMMMMM GUMMY VENUS DE MILO
posted to MetaFilter by Unicorn on the cob at 10:38 AM on August 11, 2008

I'd love to compare butts with her in real life. That's a true statement, not sarcasm at all.

I just don't get putting her in a video game, though. Unless you're going to have some kind of all-celebrity gang war game, like the Kardashians vs. the Sheens, or somesuch.
posted to MetaFilter by Unicorn on the cob at 9:09 PM on August 7, 2008

Yeah but where is the thread damanding that Quonsar and JonMC have a drinking battle a la Raiders of the Lost Ark inside the Thunderdome?

Apologies are great but do not make for entertaining daydreaming at my cubicle, you guys.

Seriously though I think it's so sweet when everybody is nice to each other here, and/or someone is willing to admit to being wrong. It is the great equalizer.
posted to MetaTalk by Unicorn on the cob at 11:37 AM on August 7, 2008

Ugh, does this thread suddenly need an enema? I was enjoying teh nice.
posted to MetaTalk by Unicorn on the cob at 8:46 PM on August 7, 2008

Prodigalsun, please do start one. One of my best friends started the Hot Tub Mystery Religion, of which I am a member, and of course there are tax perks. The, uh, sacraments and get-togethers ain't so bad, either.

42 IS the meaning of life, and I hope your next year is fabulous.

8-8-08 is the beginning of a two-year anniversary weekend for me, so I'm pretty stoked about tomorrow myself.

Go USA, and congrats VoltaireModern!... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Unicorn on the cob at 8:38 PM on August 7, 2008

Anybody upthread talking about unicorns better back the eff up. I will stab you with my mythical in-name-only horn.

Otherwise, can I offer anyone a fabulous ride on my back today? I feel especially magical from all the hugs.
posted to MetaTalk by Unicorn on the cob at 11:44 AM on August 7, 2008

I have the spountain. When I brush my teeth, I never have to cup my dirty hands again! It's a faucet! it's a water fountain! SCIENCE!

Microwaves. I remember when you had to guesstimate when you'd be hungry if you wanted a baked potato. My sisters in their mid-20's don't believe me that it sucked before microwaves.

VCR players and tapes (for porn, obviously).

Cans of fix-a-flat.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Unicorn on the cob at 2:50 PM on August 6, 2008

Troybob, Texas sort of does have a lottery that sates our blood lust. It's called military recruitment.

I'm still a pacifist, even though I feel a killing rage swell up inside me sometimes when I think about what this country's turned into since I was in my 20's. Let's hope that soon things are different everywhere, and by different, I mean better.

It's cheaper to keep a prisoner in jail for life than to execute. I used to be... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Unicorn on the cob at 12:37 PM on August 6, 2008

To all the people responding to my comment, let me add, for years we have had tons of male columnists, we even had a whole section JUST for men and men's advice, and often run articles that address only the male perspective.

We probably receive 10 letters or less per year about these articles being misogynist from women.

However, without fail, EVERY time we run an article that is ONLY from the female perspective or written first-person from the... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by Unicorn on the cob at 11:55 AM on August 6, 2008

And by all means, more cock in movies. Yes. That.
posted to MetaTalk by Unicorn on the cob at 12:00 PM on August 6, 2008