I agree with the idea of putting yourself outside of your comfort zone. It can even be something small; for example, I have always hated running, but in my daily morning walks I started to insert a few brief periods where I ran for a while. It was a small push, but I learned a few things: that I am too prone to giving up on something if I am not perfect at it right away, and that when I fight that urge and push myself I can do better than I expected. I didn't expect to be perfect and run a mile... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 11:44 AM on July 16, 2008

You may not have that kind of money now for driving school, but can you save up for it? I absolutely agree with moxiedoll's advice, all of it.

I took driving lessons at age 29 because I was in the same spot as you. I was petrified, but my instructor was calm, cool, collected, and convinced me to get out on the road on the very first lesson. Had it been my husband or a friend I would have been driving around a parking lot the whole time, but he was able to talk me into it.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 9:08 PM on July 11, 2008

It may be that none of them is special in the way that you consider to be special (as opposed to none of them being special).

It may be that you're falling for the madonna-whore complex: when a woman becomes a sexual being to you and is willing to be sexual with you, then she ceases to be the kind of woman you are looking for.

It may be that you never had a close relationship with women when you were growing up, and now you... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 2:14 PM on July 1, 2008

I was raised with sisters why would Í have anything against women...

Well, that wasn't specified in the OP, for one. So we wouldn't know. But having been raised with women doesn't necesarily mean you wouldn't have issues with women. Perhaps it's not a matter of not relating to them or not knowing them, but how you viewed the women in your family could affect how you view women in general. Are you very close to them? Very protective of them? Because... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 2:24 PM on July 1, 2008

My grandmother line-dried laundry in Puerto Rico (humidity central), and the clothes did not get mildewy unless they were brought back in while still damp and folded that way. (That usualyl happened when one of her lazybones grandkids were tasked with getting the laundry, not when she took care of it!). They were always hung outside to get sunshine and air.
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 2:20 PM on July 1, 2008

I know there are some that may roll their eyes a bit at this one, but the first one that came to mind based on what you wrote was The Alchemist, by Paolo Coelho. The idea that life has signposts for you along the way that point you in the right direction, and you just need to pay attention, really resonated with me. I find myself being more mindful, and following paths that I otherwise might not have taken.
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 10:59 AM on June 27, 2008

Remember that girls need their dads just as much as boys do. They may have some needs that are different, but the need is there just the same. My own parents divorced when I was very young, and then he moved away, so I saw my own dad infrequently. He now has a daughter, and they have a great relationship. I can see that she has benefited from having her dad around to be a positive male role model in her life. I'm pretty sure she won't have some of them insecurities I had (and still have).
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 8:46 AM on June 23, 2008

Does it have to have Mexican slang in it? In plain ol' Spanish, the literal translation would be "muerde mi culo metalico y brilloso". (I actually had to think about how to say that in a grammatically correct way! I considered using the reflexive "muerdeme", but the rest of the line just didn't fall into place that way.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 6:34 PM on June 22, 2008 marked best answer

"brillante culo metalico" also works...but as a native spanish-speaker, trust me that it's "muerde mi", and not "morder". that is in the wrong tense.
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 6:42 PM on June 22, 2008

I could have written prefpara's response. I don't resent my dad's choice to move away now that I am an adult (as a kid and in my teens, that's a different sotory). But do I wish he'd been close-by? Hell, yeah.

My dad moved away because he was upset about his divorce from my mother, and thought that living somewhere else would help. It didn't - he moved on with his life and started a new family (a family I love very much and hold no hard feelings against), but having... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 6:30 PM on June 22, 2008

I agree that talking to people and at least some immersion should help you get over that hump. I am in Portland, not LA, but I remember seeing postings on Craigslist from a non-profit looking for English speakers who were learning Spanish in order to be conversationalists with recent immigrants. For the first hour you'd speak in English with them to help them get comfortable with conversation, and the next hour it would go in reverse. Perhaps look at volunteer opportunities that might offer... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 6:38 PM on June 17, 2008

Some department store makeup counters sell primers that you put on before the foundation. They are meant to set your makeup better. Laura Mercier has a good one.
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 11:51 AM on June 12, 2008

When I eat only a salad as a meal, I tend to need more of it in order to make me feel satisfied. Even if it has proteins, like yours did. I have veggies with almost every meal, but the main (or biggest) component of most of my meals is a protein and/or a carb, and veggies are a smaller serving. When I reverse it (more veggies than protein), my body definitely feels it. Based on my experience, I'd say that you are probably still hungry, and that maybe your body is simply more used to drawing from... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 12:54 PM on June 9, 2008 marked best answer

His employer does have a tuition reimbursement program, which we're looking into, and we're also going to research grants & scholarships. I just made my last student loan payment last month, so I'm familiar with that side of it -- but I find that at 20 I was a lot more carefree about getting into that kind of debt than I am now at 33! Not to say that I am not willing to do it - I am, especially since I myself had student loans and they were necessary for me to be able to afford school. It's... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 10:05 AM on June 6, 2008

Great advice and insight, thank you!
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 1:18 PM on June 6, 2008

This is kind of uncanny because years ago I had the exact same situation, down to my friend's name being Josh.

I realized that by just hanging out as friends I was not only exposing him to a painful situation, but unwittingly and unintentionally keeping the possibility open that something might eventually happen between us. I mean, we got along great, we had a great time together, why not? I mean, I knew it wouldn't happen, but I can see how on his side, in the back of... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 9:17 AM on June 6, 2008

Sorry, hit enter before I was done yapping...I don't mean to imply that the friendship should end. I didn't end the friendship with my Josh, I just gave him some time on his own.
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 9:20 AM on June 6, 2008

Spanish:

¿En qué le puedo ayudar? (How may I help you?)
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 12:46 PM on June 5, 2008 marked best answer

Sangria, for sure

Tostones are delicious, but they really take you away from the party. They are best served fresh, they are inevitably cooked in batches so you need to keep cranking them out, and they require you to fry them twice. It's just kind of a time-suck. But they sure are tasty!

And Cuban music is indispensable. Aside from Buena Vista, which is a no brainer, you can source music from the individual... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 9:10 AM on June 4, 2008

For activities, you could try to do a very basic version of la rueda de casino (casino wheel) which is a type of dancing that is fun at a party because it involves a lot of people. You dance in pairs, and at certain intervals you swtich partners. You have someone calling the changes. it can get really complicated with a lot of different dance moves, but for these purposes it can be kept very simple - just dance till the caller calls out the partner change. This video shows... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 9:21 AM on June 4, 2008

I swear that stuff is used by Cuban moms to punish their children.

If Cuban children are anything like Puerto Rican children, they love malta. Adults like malta too. We love malta! But if you weren't raised on it, you will probably hate it - I have only met one person who tried it for the first time as an adult and liked it. So a malta chugging contest with people who have never tried it before should be pretty entertaining.
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 10:30 AM on June 4, 2008

I was diagnosed with plantar fasciitis, and I can definitely pinpoint the day I first noticed it. One day I didn't have pain, the next I did. I had definitely been abusing my feet -- I had been on vacation for two weeks, doing a lot of walking in not-very-supportive shoes -- and my feet decided to just blow up on morning. For the next 2 years I hobbled around until I finally went to a doctor.

I agree with maudlin's advice, I would only add that you might want to try to... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 9:40 AM on June 3, 2008

One of my previous employers owned a skybox at the local stadium which they mostly used to entertain clients, but for a lot of events they either had extra space, or they simply weren't using it. The employees were then able to bid for tickets to the skybox for those events. I saw quite a few basketball games and some awesome concerts for free because of that perk. I don't know if your company is to big too make that unwieldy, but it was certainly a good perk.

That same... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 3:00 PM on May 30, 2008

I am a big fan of Gabriel García Márquez's short stories. Some of his books that have been translated into English are Strange Pilgrims, Innocent Erendira and Other Stories (Innocent Erendira is a novella, and the book contains other stories as well), and Collected Stories.
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 4:20 PM on May 28, 2008

I usually declutter quite a bit when I move, but I did a major decluttering when I moved cross-country a few years ago. My husband and I must have gotten rid of at least 60% of our stuff.

Did not once regret it. It was weird while I was actually in the process of letting it all go, but that's it. It felt great, very freeing. I regretted giving away all of one item, and it was easily replaceable. Also, the other regret I have had since then is that we allowed ourselves... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 2:27 PM on May 28, 2008

Always use a base coat and a top coat. The base coat will give the polish a smooth surface to go on, and it also protects your nails from the discoloration that polish can sometimes cause (especially the darker colors). The top coat will protect the polish itself. There are different varieties of top coats, take a look at the packaging to see what they are. Some are more geared towards a high-shine finish, others facilitate a faster drying period, etc. My favorite is by Sally hansen, and for the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 2:50 PM on May 16, 2008

Have you considered making an appointment with a nutritionist? They will help educate you about food in general so that you can make informed decisions on a more on-the-spot basis. Also, they could probably come up with a meal plan to start off with. I say this because with so many questions and so many things to consider, a nutritionist will be best equipped to put it all together for you.
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 10:40 AM on May 16, 2008

Can you communicate with her prior to the trip? I'd probably ask her what she prefers. Maybe even ask her if she has any music or audio book preferences, so that if you have any of them on hand you can bring them with you. Pool resources, in other words. And if she indicated she likes silence, then you can prepare for that too.
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 9:41 AM on May 14, 2008

The Condado does have places to walk to, it has a ton of restaurants, cafes, boutiques, etc. I never thought of the Marriott as being all that removed, I guess it depends on just how much you are willing to walk. But other hotels in Condado are the Condado Plaza and the Caribe Hilton (the Condado Plaza does have a casino, although I'm not sure that the casinos will affect your in-room experience all that much, if that's your concern).

Isla Verde is another neighborhood... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 12:06 PM on May 12, 2008

I second jamaro's post, and will add that I am sure both the adults and the kids (well, the 5 year old at this point) will love Mario Kart. I believe it comes with a steering wheel (into which you insert your Wii remote), and I'd suggest buying at least one more. I think the extra wheel runs about $15. My frriend's 5 year old daughter is a big fan of the game.

The sports game that comes with the Wii is loads of fun and a favorite whenever we have people over to play with... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 10:56 AM on May 9, 2008

re: Rock band for the Wii, it does not come with all the bells and whistles that the games comes with for other consoles. For example, there's no downloadable content. You can't download new songs, you are pretty much stuck with the songs the game comes with (63, I believe)
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 12:46 PM on May 9, 2008

Not to belabor the point, but not only was it int he contract, it's actually pretty standard for gym memberships that you basically are giving them 30 days' notice when you cancel.

They shoudn't have taken your card, though, because you can still use the gym between now and then.

If your more immediate concern is the $75, perhaps you can try to talk the manager into allowing you to pay those $75 on a payment plan? It's probably out the ordinary... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 9:48 PM on May 8, 2008

What if you ease into it, instead of jumping straight into speaking face to face with someone? Maybe corresponding with someone in Spanish would be a good transition. I did that when I was learning Italian: I found a penpal in Italy and we emailed for a while. It helped me to have to type out and construct sentences that way, where I had more time to do so and less pressure. Little by little words and senteces came to me easier.

I'm a native Spanish speaker and would be... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 7:40 AM on April 30, 2008

Castellano (not castillano, btw!) is not universally used in Latin America. I say that as a bona-fide Latin American who calls it español, and never says castellano.

I would venture to say that at the very leat in the Spanish Caribbean, where I am from, it is uniformly called español. I am pretty sure the Colombians and Venezuelans I have met are also in that camp, but I could certainly be wrong, as I have... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 9:40 AM on April 29, 2008

Let me correct my previous post. I am aware that venezuela and Colombia are in South America. I worded that poorly!
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 9:42 AM on April 29, 2008

Jaltcoh, being afraid of getting raped doesn't equate to being afraid of gays

Yes it does, if you're a man afraid of getting raped by men.

I was going to say that I'm a straight woman, and I would certainly be afraid of being raped by a man -- am I man-phobic? But upon preview I saw your response. On top of being straight, I am married, I have had partners prior to my hsband, I have male friends, and I am able to pass many... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 9:29 AM on April 29, 2008

Also, I disagree with reconsidering your friends over the fact that they didn't find this joke racist. As you can see just from these responses, there are plenty of people who didn't like the joke, but disagree on whether or not it's racist. I just don't think this particular joke is a good litmus test for who in your circle of friends is a big ol' bigot. It's a little harsh to use it that way.
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 9:33 AM on April 29, 2008

Is there anything discipline that you think you may not be completely suited for? For example, if you have never been an especially musically-oriented person, perhaps you can try to learn an instrument. This might give you the chance to actually have to work hard at succeeding at something. That kind of experience, especially for someone who thinks that they might be better than other people, might give you that humbling experience you seem to be looking for (and frankly, probably need). Staying... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 8:35 AM on April 28, 2008

My mom isn't perfect, and we had our issues while I was gorwing up, but she had great traits that overcame any differences we may have had. Some are:

My mom always pushed me to be independent. She always told me that she regretted that she gave in very easily, in her younger days, to insecurities, and did not want me to make the same mistake. Rather than doing so as a way to re-live her own life, I always understood that she simply wanted me to develop these traits for... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 1:24 PM on April 23, 2008

She also once told me, "There's nothing you can do that would surprise me. Honey, I've been there and back at least once." So with that I've always been able to come clean with all kinds of mishaps and she's been there for me every time. No matter how difficult it's made her life.

My mom said the same thing to me. It made a lot of my adolescence a bit less stressful!
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 1:32 PM on April 23, 2008

I would recommend checking into Vox dictionaries. Their Spanish/English dictionary has some grammar in it, although I don't know just how in-depth you'd like that section to be. I believe it also has a section on things like colloquialisms.
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 9:30 AM on April 21, 2008

When I was about 11 or 12, I was sitting with my friends, talking about whatever it is we talked about back then. One boy made an outlandish claim, and I told him I didn't believe him. He replied, "I swear I'm telling the truth -- if I'm not, may a bomb blow me up right now."

As soon, and I mean as soon, as he said that, we heard this booming whistling noise that for the life of me sounded exactly like a bomb or a missile falling from the sky. I wasn't the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 3:17 PM on April 18, 2008

I'm not necessarily looking for reviews, but more a spot that talks about the scene itself, so that I can keep an eye out for new names. Thanks for the suggestions so far!
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 1:28 PM on April 17, 2008

You might do better offering up bands you like in the hopes of getting recommendations.

Good point! Finding new reggaeton and salsa acts, or new material from established ones, is easy (for the reasons lilnemo mentioned). I'm looking for stuff akin to Zurdok, Plastilina Mosh, Kinky, Los Amigos Invisibles, Enrique Bunbury, Babasonicos, and Julieta Venegas, for example.
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 1:32 PM on April 17, 2008

Thanks, lilnemo. A lot of those bands recommended in those posts are ones that I know well. The challenge for me is staying on top of everything new as it comes out!
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 2:15 PM on April 17, 2008

Following on nomis's sugestion, here's an interview in English with Colombian singer Juanes.

And yes, it's Colombian, not Columbian. :)
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 9:25 PM on April 9, 2008

I do honey and bananas in my oatmeal. I eat it virtually every day, as well. I sprinkle in some wheat bran as well.
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 8:53 AM on April 9, 2008

I'm a big fan of Chanel lipgloss. Not too sticky and has great colors.
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 5:10 PM on April 2, 2008

I'd throw Politico into the list.
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 12:52 PM on March 26, 2008

This might be a little tricky, but perhaps combine coconut milk with a thickening agent? I'm assuming the dairy is there for both richness of flavor and for texture. While coconut milk might be a little too thin, a thickener such as arrowroot (which thickens without clouding up the sauce) might bulk it up appropriately. Cornstarch is a thickener, as well, but leaves more of a visual footprint than arrowroot.

If I were to attempt this, I'd mix the thickener of your choice... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by DrGirlfriend at 5:57 PM on March 22, 2008