My mom once owned a bottle of Ralph Lauren room spray that I adored. It was so expensive, I ended up rolling my own: just a combination of orange and clove essential oils. That little bit of clove gave it a spicy, 'manly' undertone that really worked... smelled like sexy christmas.

You can make homemade Febreze out of (1 part) fabric softener and (3 parts) water in a spray bottle; find a fabric softener you like (or an unscented one that you add fragrance to) and... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 11:57 PM on August 21, 2008

I live in Chattanooga; want me to pop in a liquor store and ask?
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 8:36 PM on July 28, 2008

Nth the idea of the beard/goatee versus the 'stache, and playing around to find out what looks good on you (and projects what you'd like to project).

While it shouldn't matter, I have to agree -- it does. I've known guys who upped their attractiveness level amazingly by growing a beard, and I've seen guys who completely changed how they looked by varying their facial hair.

My ex-boyfriend grew a beard -- he looked awesome. He shaved it down to... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 1:48 PM on July 27, 2008

If you're vegetarian, are you eating a lot of dairy? You might want to have a go at eating a vegan diet instead for a month or so and see if that helps with the problem.

Personally speaking, whenever I cut out dairy, my skin goes insane for a week and then clears up remarkably. In fact, the first time I did, I posted an "OMGWTFISWRONGWITHMYFACE" question on a vegan forum (during the initial insanity) and was told that this was a fairly normal occurrence and... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 8:25 AM on July 19, 2008

The behaviors you describe in "James" are pretty much exactly those displayed by male friends of mine who are in the first stages of coming out of the closet... and that includes the ones who have been stuck in the first stage of coming out of the closet for the last decade or two.

And unfortunately, based on my observations of their lives, I can't give you an optimistic prognosis on a healthy romantic relationship with James even if you do manage to break... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 1:55 AM on July 8, 2008

Try googling "rotten egg belch"... you'll be amazed how many "what the hell is wrong with me??" links come up. This can be all the things earlier described, and sometimes nothing the doctors know how to fix.

This exact thing happened to me a month or two ago -- I let it go too long and ended up in screaming pain and finally in the emergency room, where they told me they didn't know what was wrong with me but gave me antibiotics just in case. I would... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 4:44 PM on July 1, 2008

Just one thing to add... if you're open-minded about your ass, then you might want to check out the Aneros, a prostate-stimulating device.

I've had sex with a partner that had one of those in, and it is phenomenally fun for both parties. I realized I wasn't actually 100% responsible for making him howl like a beast and shake like a leaf, but I felt like a rockstar anyway.

Plus... it's totally silent, it doesn't get in the way, it's not shaped... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 3:41 AM on June 28, 2008

Robyn Hitchcock.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 6:59 PM on June 22, 2008

Chiming in with the introverts / folks who get overwhelmed by people during a crisis that something that doesn't require him to respond to you immediately, just opens the door for him to reach out when he's ready, is good... a note in his mailbox, an e-mail.

The less awkward you can make it for him to ask for help/company, the better. Something like "Hey, man, I usually go grocery shopping on Tuesdays, let me know anytime if I can pick up some stuff for you".... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 12:49 PM on June 22, 2008

Thank you all very much for the great advice. Unfortunately... or fortunately, i haven't really decided yet... the wedding was apparently held in Brigadoon. My white knight in shining fake boyfriend and I drove around in circles for two hours, unable to locate the wedding with Google Maps, a GPS system, directions from four separate convenience store clerks, and five members of the local fire department.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 1:02 AM on June 22, 2008

@fire&wings... I think calling someone a "genius" or not based on your subjective opinion of the worth of what they accomplished is a little dodgy. The Pieta's a really nice statue -- I've seen it. Is it better than "Jane Eyre"? Not to me, but I'm one person.

What Leonardo da Vinci and Michaelangelo are is untouchable cultural heroes. You don't say "Eh, I think the Sistine Chapel's kinda ugly, really. I saw a painting at the mall the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 4:05 AM on June 5, 2008

At least when I lived there, Beale Street had a killer barbecue place and several clubs with good music.

You might like "The Pink Palace", an interactive museum. They had lots of cool, hands-on exhibits.

Graceland depends on your expectations. It's actually not as gloriously tacky as (and much smaller than) you'd expect, but the narration is pretty interesting.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 3:24 PM on May 2, 2008

You might like some of Christopher Lowell's stuff. From what I've seen, he does some good, straightforward discussions of what nebulous things like scale actually mean in terms of putting a room together, and breaks things down into steps.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 11:01 PM on May 1, 2008

You said you'd love to be a tour guide, but it doesn't look possible -- why not? Charleston is clogged with historical tours, and I think your degrees and interests would set their hearts a-fluttering. I have several cousins who've worked the tour guide circuit at one point or another, although they did it about an hour north of Charleston, on the boats.

You might also want to try the museums and historical areas to see if anyone's looking for a tour guide.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 6:42 PM on April 26, 2008

Seconding the roof/gable fan, definitely. My mom got one and it made a huge difference.

You might like blackout curtains better than blankets. I actually just saw some at Wal*Mart on my last trip and thought about getting them.

About the portable air conditioners -- yeah, they're ideally vented out a window, but it seems like you could vent them elsewhere. If you drilled a 5" diameter hole somewhere inconspicuous, like the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 7:12 PM on April 20, 2008

Just to add a bit to the King discussion above... I believe that the reason King's books are a zillion times scarier than the movie adaptations have been is because so much of the terror in them is psychological and doesn't translate. It's not the giant spider or the scary clown or the evil car, it's the way he gets you inside the narrator's mind and makes you feel their terror. You do that, you're golden, and you don't need evil spiders/clowns/cars.

To give you... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 3:43 AM on April 20, 2008

I usually cut the meat into chunks before i cook it, for a higher seasoned-edge to not-seasoned middle ratio. Doesn't dry out so much if you cook it speedily...

Then I pan-cook it in a little bit of butter/oil and...

- Soy sauce + merlot
- chicken stock
- Seasoned salt
- Chicken Fajita seasoning
- Cumin and salsa
- Italian dressing
- Italian dressing + soy... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 8:46 AM on March 31, 2008 marked best answer

Improvement is definitely possible. I went from totally unable to sing to being in honors choir and playing the lead in our high school's musical in a matter of years. In my case, it was because all my friends were in choirs/glee club/musicals, and my social life depended on me being in them as well.

I sang in the shower, I sang in the car, I joined any musical organization that would take me. All that practice really paid off. I did not have a voice teacher back... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 1:45 PM on February 27, 2008

Halloween! It's when my birthday is, and it RULES. Always tons of parties, people in costumes to gawk at, happy hyper children, built-in birthday party theme, and it's a holiday that you won't spend alone because your friends are off having special family time.

Also nominating St. Patrick's Day, because beer is good.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 9:44 PM on February 22, 2008

Georgia can have the pond in my backyard if they'll take Zach Wamp.
posted to MetaFilter by Gianna at 8:59 AM on February 22, 2008

You sound like you have some of the same issues as me. I was raised to think the way you do... that it was "ludicrously indulgent" to want my own happiness... and have been very prone to depression as well.

In my case, the big revelation came when I dated someone who thought that way, too. I loved him more, and wanted his happiness more, than I'd ever allowed myself to love and want things for myself. It was like being forced to look in the mirror without... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 8:24 AM on February 22, 2008

Don't know about the legal change... that's something I've wanted to do myself, so I'll watch this thread with interest.

I have, however, changed the name that I am known as, and so have several other people I know. With me and everyone, it was a process of simply telling people that I hated my original name and asking them to please call me by the other. About 25% of my friends started calling me by the new name immediately, no questions asked. The rest balked, but... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 9:53 PM on February 21, 2008

This is the greatest video of all time.
posted to MetaFilter by Gianna at 6:13 AM on February 20, 2008

Yeah, I agree... telling them is not going to go anywhere good. You'd be put in the position of them walking on eggshells around you, feeling guilty, Tom worrying that you wanted to steal his boyfriend... a bunch of ouch.

Trick your mind by looking at being with Dan as a long-term goal. You want to win the war, not the battle. Setting yourself up as someone Dan feels guilty about will damage your long-term chances with him way more than him having a relationship with... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 5:24 AM on February 20, 2008

I am a full-time caretaker for my mom.

The problem with it is that even if you did get her a day-spa thing, if she's anything like me, it'd be very difficult for her to relax and enjoy it. I occasionally leave my mom with my brother and go out, but I generally feel so guilty and worried that I don't really have a good time, and I tend to come back early.

The times that I really do have fun are when I get the guilt removed another way. For... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 5:22 PM on February 17, 2008

Nthing the doctor, but yeah... it might just be the stool. When I worked from home, I spent untold hours sitting cross-legged in a computer chair, and I ended up with visible dents in my outer thighs from where they pressed into the arms of the chair. Took a few months in a new chair before they went away, too. Good luck!
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 1:12 PM on February 17, 2008

Pasta carbonara? What about making a huge batch of cookie dough and freezing that to make your own slice-and-bake cookies?
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 11:16 AM on February 17, 2008

Maybe casually invite him home with you after the beer. Tell him about the great movie you just rented that he really should see, that you've got this book you want to loan him, whatever. If he really is into you, he'll probably go.

Then give him an excuse to stay past the original excuse to come over. Ask him if he wants to watch a DVD, show him funny crap you found on YouTube, offer him food. Touch him more than necessary. Give him lots of openings, like... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 3:29 PM on February 16, 2008

Thank you guys very much for all the help! I left the dye on for hours and hours, so I'm suspecting that Explosion is correct about the shampoo I used to get the bleach out having Seekrit Conditioners in it.

I will definitely try "Special Effects" and a less ninja shampoo. Thanks!
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 10:38 AM on February 16, 2008

Toss-up between "The New Best Recipe" by Cook's Illustrated and Home Depot's massive orange book on how to fix things for Book I Refer To Most Often.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 10:34 AM on February 16, 2008

Yeah, the "inner child" has totally foofoo connotations to me, too, like there's some kid in pigtails blowing dandelions in my psyche that I'm supposed to hug.

But from what I've read and how I understand it, it's a lot less magic-crystal that that. You might want to Google "Adult Children of Alcoholics"... there's a lot of good info out there.

Here's a particularly useful link:

http://www.recovery.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 2:12 PM on February 14, 2008

I'm not sure you could ever get it right the first time... I think the closest thing you could do is concentrate on making your system as flexible and as easy for you to manipulate on the fly as possible... maybe even a system that crunches data about the gear/gold ownership of players and tweaks supply in reaction.

For every quantifiable, there are factors that you will never be able to predict because of the human element. A weapon with inferior stats may be more... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 12:45 PM on February 9, 2008

Someone actually just gave me this link on here earlier in the week:

Compulsive Hoarding

If their house looks like that, then there could be deeper problems. If that does describe the situation, then you might have luck addressing the underlying issue. Compulsive hoarding is sometimes caused by a kind of OCD and frequently is tied to depression... there's therapy and medication. Suggesting that might go over better than... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 3:16 PM on February 8, 2008

I had it several years ago -- maybe seven? Hard to remember.

My night vision is a bit worse, yes. This has only ever been a big deal when it was almost pitch-black dark, though. A friend had to help guide me through a cornfield once, and I ended up installing some cheap-ass solar lights along my driveway. That's been the total extent of my problems.

I sit in front of the PC pretty much nonstop. No problems. The last time I got my vision... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 9:45 AM on February 8, 2008

Agreeing with other posters that you'll have to kill the ivy first.

If you don't want to spray chemicals and don't want to yank it out, you might try depriving it of light. Get a bunch of old newspapers and cover the ivy thickly enough that light can't get through. If you're trying to start a competing plant, you can then cover the newspaper with a layer of clean, ivy-seed-free soil and plant your competing plant in that. The newspaper will eventually biodegrade, but... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 12:37 PM on February 7, 2008

Maybe stroll through the dime or thrift store and see if you can find something evocative. Tiki torches for the balcony (if you have one), paper lanterns, plants...

If you're trying to cheer yourself and him up about missing the trip, some funny touches might be good. If you have an old yellow sheet and an old blue sheet (or could find them at Goodwill), you could create a "beach" on the floor. Sit beach chairs on the yellow bit, maybe put a plastic shark or... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 8:53 PM on February 4, 2008

I was just in this situation. I've actually been in this situation from both sides... as the friend in love with the waffling person and the waffler.

Speaking as both -- run.

if he's been pining for his ex for four years and none of his other relationships have worked out because of her, he has her on a mile-high pedestal, and it's probably because he can't have her. You will not make a dent in that by any normal means. Even if you're the best... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 10:09 AM on February 3, 2008

"Bitches Don't Know Shit" by Leticia Wolf. Very screamalongable.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 4:31 PM on January 31, 2008

Ask the boyfriend for suggestions as to a small gift that would fit her personality and interests and give the gift from both of you. If you wrap it nicely, that's pretty much speaking the universal language of "This Gift Was Actually The Girlfriend's Idea, And She's The One That Did All The Work To Get It". You'll get the bonus points without the weird factor.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 4:24 PM on January 31, 2008

Chiming in with a "wear it". As others have said, you're already dressing appropriately for work.

There's a huge difference in the way someone presents themselves when they just happen to like Hello Kitty and are wearing it to please themselves than when someone's wearing Hello Kitty in a desperate attempt to look young and cute.

My friends have often remarked that I can "pull off" outfits they couldn't, and I'm pretty sure... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 4:10 PM on January 31, 2008

The first thing that came to mind was R.E.M.'s "Let Me In", about Kurt Cobain and his death. There's a lot of raw emotion in Stipe's voice.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 2:32 PM on January 30, 2008

Two of my exes were bisexual (I'm straight), and for me, it was a total non-issue. However, almost all of my friends are bisexual or gay -- I'm the freak -- so that's probably a heavy influence.

I'd do it again. I actually found it a bonus. A lot of the straight guys I dated were unwilling to do a lot of things, sexual or otherwise, because they were afraid of being perceived as gay, which was not a problem with the bi guys. Plus we could ogle hot guys together...
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 6:03 PM on January 29, 2008

What about getting a tape or digital recorder? One of those little handheld ones. Keep it in your pocket or with you, and when she starts laying into you, pull it out and hit record. If she asks what you're doing, just say you're documenting.

Either you'll end up with evidence of her mistreating you or she'll back off as soon as she sees that recorder. Win-win.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 8:02 AM on January 27, 2008

If you can find Tofutti sour-cream substitute in your area, then you can make mushroom stroganoff, which is nice for winter and really delicious. Take whatever stroganoff recipe you have around, substitute big luscious chunks of seared portabellos for the beef, and score huge foodie points by adding a few drops of white truffle oil.

Seconding the recommendation for the no-knead bread; I made it for the first time yesterday, and it's freakin' amazing and absolutely vegan,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 1:15 AM on January 20, 2008

You could make a pizza oven out of cob...
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 11:01 AM on January 8, 2008

What about buying a small blank book or planner, and making her something that's almost like a year-long advent calendar of caring? The deal would be that she's only supposed to turn the pages one day at a time. If you didn't put the day of the week in, it'd be resusable. You wouldn't really need art skills, just a gluestick and a pen.

Some days could just be pictures that will make her smile, some days could be song lyrics about missing people (so many great songs... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 6:59 AM on January 7, 2008

You could always get whatever vinyl is the cheapest and paint it to be as whimsical as you like. The house I'm renovating had ugly vinyl floors, so I painted them, and I've had zero problems... I put about three coats of polyurethane on after the paint, and it's held up amazingly well. I just used ordinary wall paint.

Decoupage could be another fun option...
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 10:01 PM on January 6, 2008

If she's really your friend, then she ought to be happy for you that you've found a job making twice as much with benefits... especially since you have children to provide for.

But none of the actions you've described make it sound like she's actually concerned about you or your family's welfare. If she's more upset about losing her servant than the quality of your life, then it seems like you're far better off without her.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 10:15 AM on January 6, 2008

My local grocery store carries several different mixes of frozen stir-fry vegetables, which I really like for what you're describing. I just grab a handful out of the bag and toss them in... it's super-easy, they defrost almost instantly, and they don't go bad.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 11:24 AM on January 5, 2008

As I recall, Rowling said that she took Dumbledore's name from a term for bees, which your Pynchon couplet also seems to be referring to.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Gianna at 10:19 AM on January 5, 2008