If I say I'm just looking, I'm just looking. It's possible that the only reason I pulled that shirt off the shelf was because I was staggered at how ugly it was.

Hah, I wholeheartedly agree with this. It can make things really awkward. I was shopping with a guy friend and I said, jokingly, that he should buy this hideous leather jacket that was completely not his style. He could tell I was joking, but I guess my delivery was... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 1:36 PM on July 24, 2008

My fiance ALWAYS twitches before he falls asleep. I tease him about it if we're having a conversation. Occasionally I will get them before I'm asleep, too, but I have to be really tired.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 1:20 PM on July 24, 2008

I'm not sure it's the same for you and your boyfriend, but this is what I went through with my fiance and what I did about it.

First, I am extremely verbal. I'm a writer, and I think in words. I mean that I literally see the words in my head, as if they were on paper, and hear the words being read in my mind. So verbal declarations mean SO much to me.

My fiance doesn't think in words at all. He thinks in abstractions. He has to think for... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 10:06 PM on July 22, 2008

I agree with donovan about LJ. There's nothing forcing you to interact with anyone or read anything. All blogging services have idiots on them, so I'm not sure what you're worried about on LJ. No one is going to randomly friend you unless you make the effort to post to communities, and even then that's rare unless you're purposely looking to be friended. You can set an LJ to completely private and you don't have to actually set up any "whizz-bangs." There is a default setting for... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 8:56 PM on July 22, 2008

Whenever I'm replaying a conversation in my head, real or imagined, I have to watch myself to be sure I don't murmur anything. I don't think there's anything wrong with you; it's not uncommon.

I'm almost certain my expressions change a bit, too, depending.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 8:32 PM on July 22, 2008

If you have to write it in a "less incriminating way" that rather defeats the point, doesn't it? As someone who writes the sort of thing you want to write, I don't think I'd find that very satisfying or cathartic. You want some sort of outlet to get those things out, right? Write it openly and honestly. The privacy concerns shouldn't figure into that, at least in my opinion, and should instead be dealt with separately.

If you live alone, if you hide it... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 8:28 PM on July 22, 2008

Sun bathing.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 8:00 AM on July 21, 2008

You can develop allergies later, so testing negative for wheat gluten allergy four years ago doesn't mean much. Get retested for wheat, at least. (By the way, if you do have a wheat allergy, beer would set it off.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 4:57 PM on July 20, 2008

Oh, I wanted to add that sometimes ice-cream you wouldn't think has wheat in it, does. My friend has a horrible wheat allergy and a couple times this has happened to her; she'll eat something that sounds fine, like vanilla chocolate swirl, have an allergy attack, read the label, and see that, for some reason, there was wheat in it. If I had to guess, sometimes ice-cream makers will do his for texture. I think it's a stupid decision, but there you go. That might explain why you're sensitive... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 6:45 PM on July 20, 2008

Yeah, Mount Bonnell for sure.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 11:28 PM on July 19, 2008

That sounds right to me. But we had Greek and Roman mythology like ever other year, it seemed like. This was in Texas.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 1:46 PM on July 19, 2008

If you eat mostly carbs for breakfasts -- i.e. a bowl of cornflakes -- your blood sugar is going to spike and crash, and you're going to be ravenously hungry later and overeat. You don't have to have a huge breakfast to prevent that from happening; size is not what's most important. Try eating just a single egg and a single strip of bacon or sausage and you will feel fuller longer than if you had the bowl of cornflakes. If you doubt it, try it out one day; nothing to lose. Your blood sugar... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 11:35 PM on July 18, 2008

Might I suggest that she keeps these things from you because she knows you would react negatively if she was forthcoming? It's pretty normal for people to be less open with their judgmental friends. Since you thought it was appropriate to be aloof towards her as punishment, rather than try to talk to her, I'm honestly not surprised if she has you pegged for that type of person. She let you know something about her and you punished her for it. Why would she tell you anything? Why would she... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 11:27 PM on July 18, 2008

I read the first five pages or so, not only for the "sucked in" feeling, but also to make sure they don't do anything that drives me crazy. I write a lot and notice a lot of things, so this rules out a lot of books.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 1:35 PM on July 18, 2008

I, too, think you should keep the bird in the bathroom instead when you're gone. The cockatiel would enjoy it a lot more than the kitten, especially if the cockatiel has full view of a bathroom mirror. Also, the cockatiel is already in her cage, so she's going to be confined to the same amount of space either way.

Seriously, sometimes I put my cockatiel in the bathroom just because he loves the mirror.

As for what you can do at other times, I... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 1:29 PM on July 18, 2008

merely let the bird wreak a little vengeance for disturbing his perching peace.

A cockatiel won't be able to touch a kitten, unfortunately. You might be thinking of a cockatoo, which could probably bite a kitten's paw straight off... which is also undesirable. (There are real stories of macaws biting cats' paws off.)

Also, cat saliva has bacteria in it that can kill birds. (Google "parrot" "cat saliva.")... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 1:32 PM on July 18, 2008

I don't have any experience with multiple-game guilds, so I'll just answer what I can about the WoW guild I was in for about three years, and the interactions I knew of in other guilds.

Do guild members tend to help each other with real life problems?

It depends on how closely knit the guild is. If a guild is struggling just to exist and be able to do things in game, often they make poor choices and let people stay in the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 10:05 PM on July 16, 2008

I'm not saying this is good or fair, but plenty of women expect men to make the first moves and she may be one of them. You can try being more affectionate, or you can ask her outright to talk about it.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 11:52 PM on July 15, 2008

She needs friends.

After college, all my friends moved to different cities. I had always spent most of my time with my fiance, whom I live with, so I didn't bother to make new friends where we lived. Like your girlfriend, I would say that my life revolves in large part around my fiance. The couple times my fiance had to go out of town I was lonely and fairly depressed. Not unbearably so, but it did suck. I would never dream of making him feel badly about it, though.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 5:02 PM on July 11, 2008

Dude, I see overweight people at the beach all the time. Haters are gonna hate, but don't sweat it. I wonder how those people enjoy their vacation, with all the hating they have to do. Seriously, you'll see people way fatter than you are wearing less. Most of the skinny girls have cellulite too, so don't worry about that either.

If you're worried about looking outright bad, just make sure you get something that fits well. Most of the time... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 8:49 AM on July 11, 2008

My fiance and I recently took three days to drive from Austin, TX to SoCal. It was MUCH more enjoyable than normal because I had put a bunch of hour-long podcasts -- mostly This American Life -- on my iPod, and we have an iPod dock in his car. (There are lots of ways to play iPods over a car stereo, even if you don't have it.) Time just flew by.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 8:37 AM on July 11, 2008

As someone who is currently writing a novel, I have to say I would be thrilled if I got something like fiery.hogue did. That is so cool!

Pens are nice, buuuut some writers can be quite finicky about what they write with. For example, the only pen I will write with is a black Pilot G2, which is way cheaper than a fountain pen. I've had fountain pens before and I just didn't like them much. The odds are good that your friend would appreciate the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 8:32 AM on July 11, 2008

The Altoid gum is very minty and not very sweet. It is sweetened with a sugar alcohol, which might be Xylitol. (Like someone above said, that toothpaste is not "unsweetened," it just doesn't taste terribly sweet.) It has real mint oil in it.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 3:35 PM on July 10, 2008

I've always thought Japanese has a very efficient writing system. It's because they combine three writing systems: Chinese characters (and some unique Japanese characters that have evolved), hiragana, and katakana.

They use Chinese characters as they are for nouns, proper nouns, and pronouns, then they're also used for the root part of adjectives, adverbs, and verbs. They use hiragana to conjugate the end of the adjectives,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 12:24 PM on July 10, 2008

Like brain cloud, I wonder if he might be a sociopath. However, when you show your friend that link you might need to point out that "sociopath" does not necessarily mean "violent serial killer." That is a common misperception. A sociopath is not always violent.

Also, there are some things, like the inability to love others, she might dismiss because she's in a relationship with the guy and loves him, and he has acted in a way that makes her... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 4:01 PM on July 9, 2008

Guys, the OP said this: "She's asked me for help with this, so it's not like I'm going to drop these in an e-mail with a DTMFA note attached." "This" meaning the articles, from the context.

She included a lot of the other information so we could get some idea of what links to show her. If she didn't say anything about his bad qualities, we wouldn't know where to start with what might be up with him psychologically. Yes, the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 4:13 PM on July 9, 2008

To the best of my knowledge, in English such a thing just falls under "future" tense.

"When the 2012 election rolls around, I will have two weeks to finish radiation-proofing my cave." Something like that?
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 3:40 PM on July 9, 2008

This link says English does not have double future tense, and that you can convey the same meaning with future tense.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 3:41 PM on July 9, 2008 marked best answer

Ah, a few questions I forgot about rain:

- How long does it tend to rain, when it rains? Does it usually go on for hours, or is it over somewhat quickly?

- I vaguely recall hearing that it usually rains in the afternoon. Am I recalling correctly? Does it ever rain at night, and if so, how common is it?
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 1:10 PM on July 9, 2008

Thank you so much rhymer! I really appreciate you took the time to type that out.

I will check out the Survivorman shows, pointystick. That's exactly the sort of thing I wouldn't think of on my own, thanks so much!
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 1:58 PM on July 9, 2008

You guys are seriously awesome. I would mark everything "best answer" but then it would be silly. I really appreciate all this stuff. I will check out that documentary for sure!
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 2:38 PM on July 9, 2008

I, too, suggest CBT.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 3:07 AM on July 5, 2008

For what it's worth, I've had to do this at all the apartments I lived at since college. Before then, when I lived with my family, we did not have to do this. Not sure why this is the case, and I'm not saying it doesn't kind of suck, but that's how it is.

The place we're currently living at has the name on the outside of the mailbox. It doesn't bother me, but I hadn't given it much thought. Now that you mention it, I'd rather it weren't so public. At our other... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 11:13 AM on July 4, 2008

I am completely with Stynxno. It's her decision to cheat on her husband, yeah, but that doesn't mean he won't try to kill you if he finds out. And I mean literally, try to kill you. He could even succeed. His reaction might not be violent, but the point is you can't know that. I would really not fuck around with that. Especially since you live next door.

I feel badly for the woman's situation, sure. But if his wife needs... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 10:29 AM on July 4, 2008

- No music, or very quiet music. I am very, very easily distracted by sensory information, so I can't read if there's much of anything going on.

- Similar subjects I enjoy shelved near each other. This is completely subjective, but there is a Borders I loved in Austin simply because one corner of the store had Philosophy shelved on one wall, and Psychology shelved on the adjoining wall.

- I, too, like the staff... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 7:55 AM on July 4, 2008

I completely disagree with the idea that men who comment on this sort of thing are somehow assholes. If their tone and expression seems to match their being "oblivious" or "asshole," then sure. But if a guy is completely happy with you and has no intention of straying, he can feel comfortable making comments like that. My fiance and I both comment on the attractiveness of other people, and we're fiercely monogamous. It's not a crime to appreciate aesthetic beauty, and I... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 7:39 AM on July 4, 2008

This question was worded in a very confusing way. I'm not entirely sure what you're asking. I think you're asking, "If he doesn't call me all the time, does that mean he's not into me?" To which I say: maybe, maybe not. I hate phone calls, personally, and so does my fiance. Many introverts hate phone calls as well.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 7:14 AM on July 4, 2008

I switched to GoodReads from LibraryThing as well, so I recommend GoodReads over it.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 5:43 AM on July 3, 2008

FYI, True Lemon, True Lime, and True Orange aren't drink mixes, and would be terrible if you took them and added sugar and water to make a drink. They're just things you add to iced tea and other drinks to accent the flavor when you don't have an actual lemon (or lime or orange) handy.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 12:09 PM on July 2, 2008

I'm not a psychologist, but CBT has been extremely helpful to everyone I have ever known who has undergone it.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 9:43 AM on July 2, 2008

Alarm clock. Condoms, lube, anything else sexual. Whatever I might read before bed. My glasses. My cell phone. If ours had drawers, I would keep a knife in it for self defense if someone broke in. When my fiance is out of town and I feel less safe, I go ahead and put a huge butcher knife on it, along with my pepper spray. (If one were so inclined, and had no worries of children finding it, then a gun could be the fulfill same function.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 9:14 AM on July 2, 2008

Hah, that should read "a gun could fulfill the same function."
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 9:15 AM on July 2, 2008

Additionally, are you aware that your comment up there displayed some grammar and spelling mistakes? If you were dating yourself, you'd dump yourself. What do you think of that?

This struck me as well. I'm not trying to be snarky, OP, but you're holding other people to standards that even you cannot meet. Your original post had a few grammar mistakes, and then nearly every follow-up comment had mistakes even though they were only a few lines long.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 1:27 AM on July 2, 2008

C_D, I agree with konalia. He doesn't make many egregious grammar errors, but his phrasing is what makes it sound like it might be his second language. It shows up moreso in his follow up comments than the original post. It reminds me of the nonnative speakers I correspond with sometimes; just a lot of strange rhythm and awkward phrasing adding up.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 7:10 AM on July 2, 2008

... I don't understand why you don't write during your free time. Most writers have day jobs, you just have a really cushy one. Why would you ever quit writing anyway? You enjoy it. Even if you never publish anything, who cares? Getting something published is just a perk.

This is completely confusing to me, honestly.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 2:55 AM on June 30, 2008

Often when I have had similar feelings to yours, I have had a dream where I expressed everything I wanted to say. When I wake up, I feel entirely better. It's very strange, but it has always worked. Once I get it off my chest in the dream, it doesn't bother me anymore.

You can't force yourself to have a dream. However, the idea expressed by others above, that you should visualize or write letters, might be just as helpful.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 7:09 PM on June 29, 2008

Whatever you do, your decision is going to be a lot easier on them so long as you're paying back your student loans on your own and they're not supporting you financially in any way. So I would make sure of that first.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 5:22 PM on June 29, 2008

Yeah, nthing "that's not white sauce in lasagna, it's ricotta cheese." Ricotta cheese is significantly sturdier than a sauce, but still creamy.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 5:20 PM on June 29, 2008 marked best answer

I would be willing to bet that there are far, far more women who meet the subjective requirements and are not supermodels, than women who are actually supermodels. I can't back this up with a study or anything, but consider:

- Lots of people who could be models of any kind don't pursue it: they might think it's stupid, shallow, unrealistic, uninteresting, too much travel, too much work, too much time, too... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 5:02 AM on June 29, 2008 marked best answer

I very much agree with the "think like me" idea and wsp's comment in particular. Those people sometimes disagree about specific matters of opinion, or like different things or have different hobbies, but they still think in the same manner. This has been my experience, anyway.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Nattie at 1:25 AM on June 29, 2008