I going to go against the grain and say that ruling out a potential partner because of race CAN be potentially harmful.

Race is pretty much skin deep. It's just one aspect of one's being. I know race and culture is closely related, but that's not always the case. It is entirely possible to find someone from each race that you can relate to well enough to date. To rule out someone simply because of race, you can miss out on a lot.

I don't think... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 10:15 AM on August 1, 2008

Ok, I know that this can be the declawed circumcised obese puppy-abortion of suggestions on MeFi, but have you talked with a mental health professional about whether or not you fit somewhere on the autistic/aspergers spectrum?

I was never officially diganosed with asperger's, but it was mentioned as a possibility by one of the psychiatrists I had when I was a teen. I was oficially diagnosed with ADHD and LD in written expression, and was a late... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 10:08 AM on August 1, 2008

I've had this "hole in my soul" feeling most of my life also, one of the few things that fills this void is social interaction.

What are your social failures? Why doesn't your personality allow you to make friends?
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 3:42 PM on July 27, 2008

The book I mentioned in the other post, "Crossing the Tracks for Love: What to do When You and Your Partner Grew Up in Different Worlds", had many charts and checklists comparing and contrasting different traits of the lower class vs. the middle class vs. the upper middle class.

One thing I remember is how you drink beverages. People from lower class backgrounds tend to drink beverages straight from the can or bottle, while upper class people tend to pour their... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 5:27 PM on July 25, 2008 marked best answer

Are you suggesting that the only downside to drinking is hell?

I've seen firsthand what irresponsible drinking can do. But, most people I hangout with drink within moderation, and things rarely get out of control.

As for the first comment, I'm referring to doing all of those activities in moderation. And, I'm joking about shooting up, both ways.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 4:34 PM on July 24, 2008

Would you kill people if it weren't illegal/a sin?

Nope, unlike the vices I listed in my OP, killing people hurts people. The person killed just lost their one and only life, and their loved ones will be severely hurt. I don't put murder, robbery, destructive lying, and rape in the same category as drinking, gambling, violent music/movies, and having sex. When I practice the latter in moderation, it should not hurt myself or others.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 5:03 PM on July 24, 2008

Regarding possible consequences, I personally find that the rush outweighs the risk. And, boy do I get a rush from doing from those "deviant" activities. Sometimes the feeling of relaxation or light euphoria lasts up to a day and a half...I'm not talking about drugs, I don't do them. As for alcohol I limit myself to 3 drinks. But, staying out until 3 or 4, playing grand theft auto, or spending the night at the casino gives me a rush unlike any other activity. The only... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 9:07 PM on July 24, 2008

Have you heard of Kohlberg's stages of moral development? One of the most significant problems with many religious denominations, in my view, is that they stunt people at the first stage: actions are judged to be right or wrong based on whether one will be punished for them. The reasons for these judgments are deemed irrelevant (or self-evident - "God says so"), and the individual is discouraged or even forbidden from thinking critically about them.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 1:16 PM on July 25, 2008

Yeah there's definately some class issues going on there. Check out Crossing the Tracks for Love: What to do When You and Your Partner Grew Up in Different Worlds, it's a very informative book!
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 7:44 PM on July 23, 2008

I did think about building plant stuff, especially in basements or bottom floors...but some areas appear to be something completely different. The closed off areas in the library and education building have keyless entries and opaque windows on the doors.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 4:07 PM on July 17, 2008

This is not defined as chatfilter. I'm sure this question can be answered tastefully.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 2:59 PM on July 10, 2008

Lets narrow the scope a little bit.

I have the most interest in doing photo services for local small businesses. What kind of small businesses have a demand for photographers?

I'm also interested in shooting portrait photography.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 12:15 PM on July 3, 2008

It depends...there's ton of friend fucking in my groups of friends. Sometimes it turns out nasty, sometimes not. However, no matter how it turns out, something ALWAYS get leaked, good or bad. Penis waaaaaay too small? You only lasted 30 seconds? Your snatch smells like Captain D's? It will be told to almost everyone. Be prepared for that.

On the other hand...

2) You're a virgin. No offense, but you'll probably suck in the sack for a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 8:17 PM on June 25, 2008

The moving away thing, the partying, the drinking- none of those things necessarily mean he's not invested in you and your relationship (drinking party animals can have happy marriages, too!). But the two of you must be able to communicate- that is an absolute deal-breaker in any relationship worth having.

I'm curious to know more about the guy's "frat boy" lifestyle, and why it is a problem with the OP. I think it is normal for 25 year old... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 7:36 PM on June 23, 2008

What?

Why not? Unless she's married or in a LTR. There's women in their mid-thirties who are up for casual sex.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 12:00 PM on June 20, 2008

That is, take away processed foods, chemical dyes, high fructose corn syrup, artificial preservatives, and all of that nasty stuff. My mom has been an elementary school teacher for decades now, and she has seen first-hand how much better a lot of her ADD kids perform when their diets change relative to their classmates put on drugs.

Those diets are really really hard to stick to. I think it would be even harder for children, sense they tend to lack... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 7:16 PM on June 19, 2008

Could it be that gay women are more likely to integrate into the straight world? I know lots of gay/bi women and many of them are partiers. However, they seem to like straight bars more than gay/lesbian ones.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 1:22 PM on June 19, 2008

I currently have no insurance, but I will look into it when I get some. I never had CB, I only had psychiatrists who were pill-pushers.

As for catching germs, I fear catching germs that will give me the stomach flu the most. I have a HUGE HUGE fear of vomiting. I don't really fear catching colds or anything as much. Are stomach viruses transmitted through saliva?
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 7:48 PM on June 18, 2008

This needs really good timing....cough (but not deeply) at the same time you sneeze, and that should soften it. It works for me.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 7:25 PM on June 18, 2008

Maybe introducing a dildo that's smaller than your penis. I've heard of a few guys going as far as strapping it on.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 2:26 PM on June 16, 2008

"oh, sorry - for some reason in my mind i thought you were [insert whatever race they're not]. i've got a specific thing for [race] girls/guys"

That could be far more offensive to some people than "I don't find you that attractive".
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 6:48 PM on June 13, 2008

Oh, I'm not judging these people, they are free to do what they want. I just want to keep my record clean, I never even had a speeding ticket. But, if they ever get in trouble, I do not want to get in trouble with them.

I'm just curious how I should handle stuff like this in the future, without you know...using a metal detector or drug sniffing dogs.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 7:03 PM on June 11, 2008

What does it mean to "sneak pot in his car"? Does that mean, "happened to have pot in his pocket when riding in my friend's car"?

I'm not sure. But he was REALLY mad at them. Going by the tone, I think they must have hid the pot in his car temporarily.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 7:05 PM on June 11, 2008

Regarding the guns...

In my state, it is legal to conceal weapons. You can walk down the street with one in your pocket or have one in your car, if it's registered of course. However, you're not allowed to bring one in most of the public places.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 7:32 PM on June 11, 2008

I guess I am sheltered, I was not aware that stuff like this happened often, even in high school.

My previous friends are polar opposites of the people I'm hanging out with now, I'm dealing with many thins that shock me, including things that I didn't mention in this thread. I'm not judging them, just surprised and caught off guard. I'm comfortable enough to remain friends with them, but I will be more aware who I allow in my car.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 8:53 PM on June 11, 2008

...why the fuck are you hanging out with these people?

They're awesome to hang out with otherwise, never a dull moment. I guess it's worth mentioning that it's less than a third of my social group who does those things I mentioned. And it's different people doing different things. The guy who carries a big knife, is a non-drinker and anti-druggie. The flask drinkers and pot-smokers don't steal (that I know of). And none of my closer friends (who I... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 8:15 AM on June 12, 2008

I suspect that he enjoyed the vicarious thrill, the whiff of illegality, because he was otherwise strung pretty tight. Maybe you do, too?

There are times that I feel like I'm out of my element when I'm with my current group of friends, including things that I didn't mention in this thread. But I felt even more out of my element when I hung out with my past friends (ALL were straight white upper middle class Christians). It's a breath of fresh air to... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 8:25 AM on June 12, 2008

That's a little weird, or at least it would be to me. If someone thought of me like that, I would be a bit put off, I think I would take it as I wasn't good enough or esteemed enough to be an actual friend, that I would be pretty much dropped after you were done with your wild days. Maybe someone in your group has picked up a similar vibe, and is doing things, or exaggerating these "deviant behaviours" to irk you?


It's the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 12:21 PM on June 12, 2008

It's kind of strange to me that you think straight white upper middle class Christians are "mainstream". In the US those values are pretty far off center. Smoking weed and covertly drinking in public are very, very mainstream activities.

I guess "mainstream" is not the right word. The area I grew up in is loaded with people of those backgrounds, as many of my older friends. Smoking weed was pretty much unheard of. There was some... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 12:41 PM on June 12, 2008

Pick up women at church, or move farther south.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 9:31 AM on June 12, 2008

You can encourage change...sometimes.

You have to get to the root of his insecurities. If you find the roots, work from there.

Plus, I don't think words are that helpful, regardless if it's in the form of criticism or praise. Experience will be the thing that moves him.

Example, if his real issue is that he feels powerless from childhood bullying, maybe you two could take up martial arts. I know many people who gained... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 7:32 AM on June 11, 2008

In NC, weather can be a challenge. Where would that thing go if a tornado is predicted to come? The summers are really hot, the winters can be really icy. It would be easier if you lived or moved to southern California where the weather is more stable. You could probably park the RV in the middle of no where and not worry about storms and severe heat.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 11:49 AM on June 9, 2008

Oh yeah, and be prepared to never have sex until you get a real home/apartment. I've never been accused of understanding women, but I would think that there are few who would be willing to add "Had sex in a WalMart parking lot" to their life story.

I'm a woman who would fuck someone in a RV in a Walmart parking lot, and tell my friends about it. :) But, I'm a little bit of the hippie side. I think I could live with someone in a RV for a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 11:55 AM on June 9, 2008

Hmmm...context. Let me see...

This comes up when people describe their ideal boyfriend or girlfriend. On myspace, where it says "about me", I notice that people usually mention something about their occupation and relationship status (wife, mother, single, etc.). It comes up in discussions on why/how we choose to hang out with certain people. It comes up a LOT on other discussion boards, where a lot of people approach subjects with the X ( as a hispanic, female,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 8:34 PM on June 4, 2008

Maxwell, we learned about the Cass model in one of my grad school classes. I found it very interesting! Yeah, I think a lot of lgbt folks get stuck in stage 5. There are times that I try to set my lgbt friends straight, no pun intended, that they more than their sexual orientation.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 8:37 PM on June 4, 2008

Particularly the whole bit about you not identifying as strongly with your race/gender - you know, that's cool and all, except, um, reality doesn't work that way. Because of cultural upbringing, an Asian male sports fan who's outgoing, and liberal is going to be a very different person from a white female sports fan who is outgoing, liberal, and likes all the same music, food, and movies, you know? (Although they obviously have a lot in common and may very well make good partners if... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 6:03 AM on June 5, 2008

We are both females. What's up?
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 5:55 PM on May 28, 2008

There was no mention of us being closer friends. This comment came after conversation we and our friends had about who we trust and did not trust.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 6:01 PM on May 28, 2008

Are mutual friends (or perhaps your enemies that are her friends) gossiping about you behind your back? If she's heard stories about you (whether they're true or not) that cast you in an untrustworthy light, then that might explain it.

Malicious gossip is hard to overcome.

I would not be surprised. We have a few gossips in our crowd...however what they say tend to be true, they seldomly spread false rumors. Again, I have not... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 6:12 PM on May 28, 2008

The problem with trust is that's it's often born of need. I trust my parents because when I was a tiny person unable to fend for myself, they saw to my needs. I trust my best friend because when I had no else to be honest and real with in High School, he allowed me to be honest and real without judging me or shunning me. And so on.

I have been taking this into consideration lately. I do notice that her closest friends sacrafice a LOT for her. I am... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 6:31 PM on May 28, 2008

Something that someone thinks you did to someone else
Stereotypes of you, or of your character
Having known someone else earlier who untrustworthy and resembles you in some way
You display different faces to different people.

God knows...

There was one thing she kind of frowned on...I would speak negatively about my family. But, I have other friends who speak negatively about their families.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 6:39 PM on May 28, 2008

Another thing I forgot to mention. My mother thinks it is because we had a crush on the same guy. BUT I never mentioned that I had a crush on him. And I didn't know she had a crush on him until somewhat recently.

I also had a bigger crush on another mutual friend of ours. I have done everything in my power to conceal this though, for many reasons, I don't think anyone knew it. Though she denied it (people always asked her about it), I strongly suspect she had a crush on... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 7:00 PM on May 28, 2008

I find your judgement of who she trusts rather shady, myself. It seems to me that you're being very presumptuous of her - how would you know how "shady" those friends are? Maybe they have done something really big to earn your friend's trust.

I understand where you are coming from. Like you and my friend, I have trust issues also. I try to be very sensitive on how I come across to people. I severely distrust people who I KNOW that they... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 7:12 PM on May 28, 2008

TryTheTilapia, she doesn't demand that people do these things for her, they volunteer. They do it because they think she's that awesome, I think she's awesome too (with this issue aside). That's why I don't want to give up on her just yet. She is the most charismatic person I've ever known in my life, many people would agree.

I guess this is one of my weaknesses, I'm really attracted to people both charismatic and dominant personalities. I've been burned by these types... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 8:14 AM on May 29, 2008

Could they be doing this on purpose to gross people out?

This even have a slang term "Phantom poop", I've known people in their 20s who do it for shock effect.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 4:17 PM on May 28, 2008

I'm with Meg and TomMelee, I would be really upset if a friend of 20 years suddenly dropped me like a hot potato for no "major reason".

I'm very very curious to know what REALLY happened between the wife and her friend.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 9:07 AM on May 25, 2008

I think teasing is pretty common in many social circles. Some more, some less. Have you ever thought about teasing them back about their quirks?
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 8:40 AM on May 24, 2008

This is more of a event...Relay for Life.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 2:05 PM on May 23, 2008

Oh another question, for those who are familiar with the meramac....

What's the average depth? 5 ft? 10 ft? 20+ ft?

More important. How clear is the water? I'm freaked out by bodies water that I can see the bottom of. The part of the meramec I pass over every now and then, is quite murky, but I heard that rivers and lakes in less populated areas tend to be clearer.
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 7:38 PM on May 21, 2008

Oops, I meant "CANNOT see the bottom of". Murky waters are creepy even when it is supposed to be shallow. But, I'll cope. :)
posted to Ask Metafilter by sixcolors at 9:25 PM on May 21, 2008