2) Sheryl Crow recently said that one or two squares of toilet paper should be sufficient. This led to a wave of ridicule (ie, Jay Leno: "Remind me not to shake her hand!"). But ridiculing her seems to suggest that people use way more than one or two squares, which should not be the case if their poops are "complete".

Attribute this instead to people being so germ- and shit-phobic that they use literal fistfuls of paper, so to make... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 7:07 AM on July 24, 2008

His habit seems to be to settle for situations that are unsatisfactory.

If you don't work this out now, then expect some seriously colossal fights once kids and parenting styles are thrown into the mix. You will always be the bad guy, the enforcer, and he will always be the one giving them what makes them happy in the short term and making promises that might not be realistic.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 11:25 PM on July 23, 2008

Also, feel free to throw in the MeFi-obligatory DFW's da bomb/DFW sux post...

This part isn't going to be allowed on AskMe, FYI.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 12:57 PM on July 23, 2008

Brooklyn Botanical Gardens
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 12:56 PM on July 23, 2008

I generally feel / act like a slightly different person when I'm in a relationship

On some level you are lumping all the time you've spent in relationships together, even though they were all with different women and at different times in your life. This is a tremendous fallacy. While you can look to avoid acknowledged tendencies in your character that trouble you, entering into a new relationship with a new person is a new thing, period. Make of that whatever you can.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 9:41 AM on July 22, 2008

Was it behavior like this?
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 7:56 AM on July 21, 2008

"Do you want to go out on a date with me" just seems kindergartenish.

I don't know what kindergarten YOU went to...

This is actually as simple and straightforward as it gets-- but tou could be even less passive about it and say, "I would like to go on a real date with you. What are you doing this Saturday?"

Actual manhood may be required.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 2:20 PM on July 17, 2008

I doubt this is what you have in mind, but the gay hankie code might be of interest. While it's not set up to indicate any sort of degree advancement, it's fair to say that someone brandishing more obscure hankies-- or else an array of them-- is deeper into that culture, which indicates an informal sort of "degree."
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 8:44 AM on July 17, 2008

I found August: Osage County to be monumentally overrated.

While these answers are bound to be incredibly subjective, the play that won the 2008 Pulitzer for drama is probably not what the poster is looking for.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 7:15 AM on July 17, 2008

Bjork got incredibly deeply emotionally involved with her character in Dancer in the Dark, resulting in now-famous ordeals with director Lars von Trier on-set.

From Wikipedia:

Actress Björk, who is known primarily as a contemporary composer, had rarely acted before, and has described the process of making this film as so emotionally taxing that she would not appear in any film ever again (although in 2005, she appeared in Matthew Barney's... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 9:46 AM on July 15, 2008

You're going to have to try hard and stray far in order to run afoul in Manhattan. TPS is right on the money when she mentions how lovely and fun it will be after dark. Bury your nose in Time Out, find three things you want to go see that evening, and go do them all.

As for your hostel, you'll probably be safer out in the city all evening than you would be alone in the whole building with whatever one or two people decide to stay in and join you. If it's safety in... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 9:45 PM on July 14, 2008

Can you link to any clips?
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 8:22 PM on July 14, 2008

People in NYC are pretty rigorous these days when it comes to checking ID. Even in Brooklyn, more and more. Even if you don't look young.

You should call ahead and ask to speak to a manager. See if they're willing to work something out. Otherwise, perhaps an adult will be willing to go with you and pose as a parent.

(Don't ask me, I'm not quite that old.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 3:42 PM on July 13, 2008

Whatever you read, you should be drinking Chartreuse while you're reading it.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 12:02 PM on July 9, 2008

Eat something you crave, in moderation. You'll be fine.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 9:41 AM on July 9, 2008

it was pretty early in the relationship (2 months)

At the two month mark, nearly anyone can seem better than anyone you've ever dated ever ever. That's the initial wave of lust, curiosity, and optimism. If you'd been able to date for a year or three, I guarantee you would have discovered issues that would make you laugh at your former naivete.

The girl you were with at 25, how long did that last? Do you think it's possible... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 7:56 AM on July 5, 2008

I'm a little surprised nobody has commented on this yet. This may be more important than you think. The fact that your parents had an open relationship and then got divorced (I assume) is not necessarily an endorsement of this kind of behavior.

Nor does it bode ill, considering how many marriages never reach the six year mark at all. It's just one set of circumstances. In this case, the poster knows next to nothing about the circumstances of Mrs.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 5:12 PM on July 4, 2008

Some people have vastly different ethics where animals are concerned. This isn't a clear case of abuse. It's a clear case of you discovering you don't like your friend as much as you thought.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 3:09 PM on July 4, 2008

"Mom, my closet is full of clothes I love, and I can't accept any more for now. How about we focus on the (kitchen/bathroom/etc.) for a few years instead?"
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 1:36 PM on July 3, 2008

hal_c_on has it completely. Setting these precedents now is going to save you a MEGATON of grief when the child is three or four and actual and you find yourself wheedling, imploring, and negotiating with a tiny dictator.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 1:28 PM on July 3, 2008

I can do this! I've considered using AskMe to find out what it is, but I didn't know how to describe it.

I've been able to do it ever since I was a child. I can do it for longer now than I used to be able to. During meditation it is much more potent, sometimes unbearably pleasurable.

I've never been able to connect it with any other bodily function. It feels like it spreads outward and upward from the sacrum, but I can't tell. I have been... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 9:34 AM on July 3, 2008

Seconding TEH BOWIE
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 4:31 PM on June 27, 2008

Post-It notes.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 2:27 PM on June 26, 2008

"God's wounds!"

An exclamation that was eventually shorthanded in common parlance as "Zounds!" but the original is better.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 12:29 PM on June 25, 2008

My aunt recalls my grandmother stating disbelief by exclaiming "Great galloping gods of war!"
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 12:35 PM on June 25, 2008

Contact that building's management and ask whether the volume can be adjusted. Feel free to mention that many people at your area have commented on this and that you're all hoping the building will address the situation on its own as a courtesy to its neighbors. Send the letter certified mail.

That's at least a pretty good first step.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 2:26 PM on June 23, 2008

He's a cheater, you're a snoop and a liar. Or, as you are maybe starting to realize, things aren't so black and white. Sometimes people have incredibly valid reasons for doing or saying things, and if you come to him with your assumptions totally reinforced, you won't hear the truth even if he decides to share it.

What is going to turn this into a fight instead of a discussion is that you are going to have to admit hat you snooped and apologize for it. And not by... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 4:43 PM on June 21, 2008

We're going through some relationship problems as well, and my question, which I posed in a less than gentle way, is only fueling the fire that is burning our relationship from the inside.

This is what you should have focused your question on. (It's not too late.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 12:29 PM on June 21, 2008

I really enjoyed Voodoo Dreams, a fictional account of the life of New Orleans voodoo priestess Marie Laveau. A fascinating portrait of life in that time and place.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 8:47 AM on June 15, 2008

Because it's technically part of your question, some are laughing at, some with. Some have tight mechanical smiles and courtesy laughter because they know that the sooner they give you what you want, the sooner you will relent. They know that the bare minimum of attention is the price they pay for not seeing you coming and finding a way to avoid you.

Remember, some people are not morning people. These people are going to wind up losing a lot of weight, because when... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 11:27 PM on June 12, 2008

You may be able to air things out or spray them to the point where you can't smell them anymore, but let's just say that you may be a little too... close to the situation to accurately judge. The people around you will be able to tell. They probably already can. When it comes to personal odor, we're usually oblivious to how weak/strong things are.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 7:24 PM on June 11, 2008

It was dumb of her to assume that you weren't a German Jew. You know, like all those German Jews who were killed during the Holocaust, and all the other German Jews who were able to successfully conceal their Judaism, and all of the descendents of whom are still there to this day.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 7:16 PM on June 10, 2008

It sounds like everyone had too much fun that night, yourself included. This is just the kind of thing that happens when people with unresolved relationship issues elect to get shitfaced in mixed company. Of course you have a right to be upset. But you also had opportunities to set this whole visit up a little better so that it never would have happened in the first place.

Sounds like you two aren't ready to be friends yet.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 12:25 PM on June 8, 2008

Would you honestly be able to be intimate with someone else at their residence and not feel as though you were doing something inappropriate even if it was in a separate bedroom and not in a public room?If so why?

Sure, if I was stone drunk. That's one of the reasons why I moderate my alcohol consumption.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 2:00 PM on June 8, 2008

You should probably contact a successful wedding planner in your area and ask if you can be their apprentice/intern for a period. This kind of experience will answer all your questions, and set you up with the contacts you need to move forward.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 1:07 PM on June 8, 2008

Whether it's fair or not, when it comes to his support, you're in this alone. He's been incapable of setting clear boundaries, he's waffling and rationalizing and obviously can't be counted on to know how to soothe you or ease any of your burden during this awful experience.

If having him there is something you're wielding, consider that you wield far greater long-term power by denying him this experience, keeping him away as you go through this procedure. It is a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 12:38 PM on June 7, 2008

MeTa
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 1:01 PM on June 7, 2008

It's nice that you feel bad and are having second thoughts.

If you tell her that, though, you'll only be getting her hopes up and dragging out the pain. Let her heal, and chalk it up internally to "Maybe in 5 years when she's stronger and I'm wiser."
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 8:47 AM on June 7, 2008

Buy earplugs. In almost any apartment, either street-noise or sounds from other tenants will be an issue at one point or another, and if it happens at 1:30 AM on a work-night, you need to be able to just pop in your earplugs and stop worrying about it, instead of laying there seething. Don't worry about hearing your alarm in the morning, the suddenness and high pitch of the sound always wakes me up even through plugs.

No matter how tired you may get or how much you... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 7:29 AM on June 6, 2008

It would NOT be confusing for kids, they accept whatever you tell them someone is called.

And really, a good name just sort of happens. Some people have a Ta-ta and some people have a Nonno and some people have whatever the kid decides to call that person. I called my grandparents Papa and Mammock. While some of these sound more gender neutral than others, eventually your partner and the child will work something out. When the kid is old enough to realize that not... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 10:06 PM on June 5, 2008

I hope this doesn't sound creepy, but you can totally shower at my house if you need to. I'm a freelancer, I work from home so I'm guaranteed to be around, and several mefites can vouch for my general non-creepitude. I live with my sister, a roommate, and two cats in lovely Greenpoint, a mere 30 minute subway ride from Port Authority. Memail me if you want.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 2:35 PM on June 5, 2008 marked best answer

Actually a mefite I know (who I actually met through the site) just showed up to wash her dress in my sink-- a beverage exploded on it, and she was closer to my place than her home.

Not that I'm running any kind of crazy hostel or anything.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 4:22 PM on June 5, 2008

Hypatia is the name you are looking for.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 6:57 AM on June 5, 2008

Just to clarify, I don't necessarily see any such implication as overt, in fact it's subconscious at best. They don't know they're implying anything.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 10:03 PM on June 4, 2008

Thanks for your supportive answers, everyone. I know it's not really a gay thing (I was a bit hyperbolic when I stated that most people would "NEVER" say that to a straight couple).

I can't help but believe that there is an weirdness to it when one is gay. Partly that is in the eye of the beholder, as I clearly interpret things through my knowledge of gay psychology and issues, flavored with my own insecurities and the way I desire to be beheld. Partly it is... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 10:44 PM on June 4, 2008

Went through this last year. I was him. Every day in which you share the place together while broken up will be an eternity. For both of you.

Find other places to stay. Break the lease if you have to. But don't stay there and fester together for the sake of "convenience."
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 9:24 PM on June 4, 2008

I'm listening to "Big Girl" by Ghostface Killah. Maybe that would scratch the itch? Especially if you have coke.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 10:04 PM on June 3, 2008

Other people will see it first and definitely let you know.
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 6:32 AM on June 3, 2008

I'm a huge fan of Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, and while most of their scents are rather fantastical and complicated, you can use their search page to search by ingredient and hone in on the scents that are more your speed. One of my favorites by them is just a mixture of orange, eucalyptus, and pine. Another one, called Coyote, is described as "The warmth of doeskin, dry plains grasses and soft, dusty woods warmed by amber and a downy, gentle coat of deep musk.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 6:23 AM on June 2, 2008

Sure it's something of a crutch. But if you had a broken leg, wouldn't you want a crutch? Well, why not for a bruised mind?

Because unlike walking on a broken leg, thinking on a bruised mind can actually help you heal, or lead to ideas and transformations that are quite valuable.

Of course I believe that in certain situations drugs are appropriate, but the poster has already expressed a desire to work things out on his own, and... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 6:42 PM on June 1, 2008