slower than a Philip Glass opera
slower than impulse engines
slower than Social Studies
slower than a one-fingered typist
slower than a snake digesting a mouse
slower than my mom trying to figure out how to use the VCR
slower than HAL9000 dying
slower than the blink of an eye in the Bizarro universe
slower than history
slower than unraveling Dr. Who's scarf
slower than filling... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 1:17 PM on July 16, 2008 marked best answer

slower than a cucumber doing Calculus
slower than the dentist
slower than play-by-mail chess
slower than the Ring Cycle
slower than a cure for AIDs
slower than Congress
slower than washing dishes
slower than translating hieroglyphics
slower than the Shopping Network
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 1:29 PM on July 16, 2008 marked best answer

slower than the Mummy
slower than economic recovery
slower than playing tag on the moon
slower than whale song
slower than an Amish drag race
slower than soup with chopsticks
slower than childbirth
slower than yoga
slower than Microsoft releasing a new version of Windows
slower than doing Algebra with an abacus
slower than talk therapy
slower than... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 6:30 PM on July 16, 2008 marked best answer

I agree that this only happens through out-of-comfort-zone experience. And experience means total immersion; it DOESN'T mean dipping your toes in the water and then saying, "Okay, I tried that. Moving on..."

There's not much more I (or anyone else, I'm guessing) can say, because your comfort zone is unique to you. But I'm guessing you know what makes you uncomfortable.

For me, the biggies were: moving (far) away from my parents, taking... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 12:57 PM on July 16, 2008

How do I convince someone Science is real?

I don't think you mean this literally, but I'm going to take it literally, because I think doing so may help.

Saying "science isn't real" is like saying a hammer isn't real or holding-your-breath-while-swimming isn't real. Science isn't an object. It's not an elephant or a unicorn. It's a tool. It's a technique. (Rather, it's a set of related tools and techniques.)... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 1:44 PM on July 15, 2008 marked best answer

There are several other stumbling blocks in these discussions. Until you can rid your discussions of the following side-tracks, you're not really discussing the pros and cons of Science.

First of all, Science gets all confused with other things.

-- Technology. Science is not technology (though, of course, science was used in the creation of a lot of it). I've heard people say that they hate science. In the end, it turns out they they're... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 2:07 PM on July 15, 2008

And it's true, if you get deeply into science, you will experience waves and waves of beauty. But the truth is, that beauty is not accessible to lay people who just dip into science.

I must disagree. There is a lot of stuff that is "common knowledge" that can still really knock peoples' socks off, with a small bit of emphasis.

All that stuff you brought up is incredible, cool and beautiful, but -- to me -- it's not... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 7:07 AM on July 16, 2008

To add to my last point, let's take physics: Relativity is pretty mind-blowing. But what do you have to do to get your mind blown? It's not enough to say, "According to Relativity, if you travel into space in a really fast-moving rocket, you'll age less than your identical twin on Earth!"

That's cool, but you (or at least I) don't really FEEL the awe unless I understand WHY the paradox works. And to understand that, you have to really study and understand... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 7:13 AM on July 16, 2008

As a "believer" in Science, you must take these givens on faith.

No. Science accepts no inviolable axioms.

To me, this mini-debate between kiltedtaco and me is the the heart of the matter. If your friends are really open to discussion, I would talk to them about this. If kiltedtaco is right, and Science REALLY has no inviolable axioms, then it's truly in a different league that all other systems.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 8:08 AM on July 16, 2008

I've been working with actors for twenty years, and I think 99% of such stories are bullshit. When you act -- particularly on film -- you're in a room full of people (technicians, etc.) and you constantly have to start and stop. You shoot about a minute of the film and then you go wait in your trailer for four hours while they re-light the set.

There are plenty of disturbed actors, but most of them got that way via their upbringing or during off-work hours. It's usually... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 8:50 AM on July 15, 2008

Okay, getting more into the spirit of things:

-- When Robert Wise directed "West Side Story," he didn't allow the actors playing the Jets to socialize with the actors playing the Sharks. They only time they met was in their antagonistic scenes together. Susan Oakes played Anybodys, a girl who definitely wasn't a Shark but who wanted to be part of the Jets (and was rejected by them). I heard her say, in an interview, that the shooting was traumatic for her,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 9:37 AM on July 15, 2008

This also doesn't exactly fit what you're asking, but I once heard Laura Dern say that, when she was little, she was watching TV and "Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte" came on. She saw her dad, Bruce Dern, get decapitated. She went screaming to her mother. Her parents were divorced, and her mom had to get her dad on the phone to prove to Laura that he wasn't dead.
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 9:43 AM on July 15, 2008

Then of course, you get actors who wanted to keep on playing their parts after death: Belu Lugosi was buried in his Dracula cape. James "Scottie" Doohan had his ashes shot into space.
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 9:46 AM on July 15, 2008

I've read that during the shooting of the film Gosford Park, the actors playing servants only socialized with other servant actors off-set, likewise the aristocrat actors, reproducing the class divisions they were portraying.

There are tons of stories like this from the filming of the British series "Upstairs Downstairs." The actors playing the servants (though they were the leads) were given the worst dressing rooms, etc.
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 10:42 AM on July 15, 2008

I've read that during the shooting of the film Gosford Park, the actors playing servants only socialized with other servant actors off-set, likewise the aristocrat actors, reproducing the class divisions they were portraying.

I hope I'm not stirring up trouble, again, but this is exactly the sort of thing I was talking about earlier. If you watch the movie, you'll see that in most of the scenes, the servants were with the servants and the aristocrats... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 10:45 AM on July 15, 2008

From IMDB's entry on Klute:

"According to her autobiography, Jane Fonda hung out with call girls and pimps for a week before beginning this film in order to prepare for her role. When none of the pimps offered to "represent" her, she became convinced she wasn't desirable enough to play a prostitute and urged the director to replace her with friend Faye Dunaway."
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 11:01 AM on July 15, 2008

Well, allegedly River Phoenix turned to heroin to get into character for My Own Private Idaho.

I can't tell you how many actors I've met who got hooked on smoking (regular cigarettes) from having to do it in plays. Nowadays, they generally use herbal cigs.
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 12:31 PM on July 15, 2008

I have anxiety problems. I went to my doctor and he game me a prescription for Xanax. It's a mild drug, but it really takes the edge off anxiety. However, there are some problems with it. It can be habit forming.

For me, I knew that wouldn't be a problem, because I don't have an addictive personality. I probably take one pill every two months. (I could take one a week, and it probably wouldn't be a problem. You just don't want to start taking them every day.)... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 8:00 AM on July 15, 2008

1) Take a voice class with a private tutor. There are voice coaches for speakers as-well-as singers, but the process will be similar to training a singing voice. You'll learn breathing techniques and various exercises. The teacher will listen to the way your speak and come up with exercises for you to do to improve your speaking voice. This is really an area where you need another person to help you. The good news is that barring any vocal-chord deformities, human voices are very mailable.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 12:25 PM on July 14, 2008

Something else that will help you sound more confident: start playing with words. Read authors who luxuriate in words: Dickens, Nabokov, Shakespeare... Don't just read these writers; listen to them. Listen to "The Great Gatsby" or "Lolita" as a recorded book on tape. Watch Shakespeare on stage or video. And don't just watch and listen -- speak! Read aloud to yourself; declaim poetry.

Make sure you throw in plenty of playful stuff, like Dr. Suess and... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 3:31 PM on July 14, 2008

We only really value a relationship, when it survives our best attempts to destroy it.

What a silly quotation! Was he talking about high-school relationships? Because as an adult, I don't attempt to destroy my marriage, and yet I can't think of anything I value more. I guess I'm boring, but I value stuff like companionship, laughing at the same jokes, cuddling...

Getting back to the question, I think the answers to these... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 6:59 AM on July 14, 2008

"Colossus: The Forbin Project" -- whole movie
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 6:42 PM on July 13, 2008

"Zardoz" -- also sort of whole movie, but you're on your own interpreting that one!
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 6:44 PM on July 13, 2008

I used to hate skim milk. I would only drink whole milk. I wanted to stop, and I found a way to do it back when I lived in a college dorm. In the cafeteria, they had one of these milm machines with multiple spigots: whole milk, two percent, skim.

I started by pouring myself a glass of whole with just a tiny bit of skim in it. Over about two months, I gradually increased the amount of skim and decreased the amount of whole. I did it so slowly, I couldn't tell from the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 8:27 AM on July 12, 2008

I've posted about my exercise plan before. I hate exercise, and I particularly hate gyms. So here's how I do it: I have an exercise bike in my apartment and a subscription to Netflix. I rent episodic TV series (with cliffhangers usually). My rules is I'm only allowed to watch the shows while riding the bike. If I get hooked on a show, I sometimes can't wait to get on the bike -- just so I can find out what happens next.

I've also been on the Shangri-La diet for about... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 7:11 PM on July 11, 2008

The more dramatic, the better!
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 3:59 PM on July 11, 2008

I get upset whenever I think about my "education." I got an MFA in theatre, and now, ten years later, I'm one of the only people in my class still involved in the arts. People graduated college EXPECTING to count to three and then be stars on Broadway. When that didn't happen, most of their dreams were shattered and they quit. Some quit right away. Others gradually trickled out of the profession.

Worse, there's a mindset that this is fine. That those people... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 7:46 AM on July 10, 2008

I don't know if this is still the case, but when I was in college, the one sort of people it was "okay" to make fun of was an Appalachian. Pretty much everyone I knew was a politically-correct liberal, and if one of the white guys in my circle had started talking in Ebonics, he would have been a pariah in ten seconds. But it was normal for these middle-class kids to talk like "hicks." I assume this was because "hillbillies" were totally unreal to them. Making fun of... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 7:48 PM on July 9, 2008

Robert Penn Warren's "All The King's Men" is brilliantly performed by Michael Emerson (of "Lost" fame).

Frank Muller's "The Great Gatsby" is pitch perfect.

I 2nd Roy Dotrice George R. R. Martin books and Patrick Tull's reading Patrick O'Brian's book.

But the BEST audiobook I've ever heard is this multicast (not an audioplay) reading of "The Moonstone" by Wilkie Collins. (It's... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 2:13 PM on July 7, 2008 marked best answer

I feel your pain. I went through the same thing. I got As on all my writing assignments, and most of the comments were "very good," "excellent," and the like. Though I loved the praise, I wasn't learning anything. It seemed to me that as-long-as I wasn't Shakespeare or Hemingway, there was room for improvement. But I didn't know how to improve, and no one was helping me.

Here's what I did: I went to my college's Writing Center. Does your college have... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 8:41 AM on July 7, 2008

mdonley, I could see myself saying "My wife completes me." If I said that, I wouldn't mean anything ominous by it. I'd just mean that she makes me more "me" than I was before I was with her. By which I mean that -- because we have so much in common -- she amplifies my personality. Because we don't have everything in common (coupled with the fact that I enjoy our differences), she challenges me and helps me grow.

But I'm not... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 9:08 PM on July 4, 2008

desjardins, this is not a criticism of your post, because the same qualities are important to me. But your post does make me a little sad (if I take you literally). It reminds me of a moment in the movie "Quiz Show." The main character goes before a congressional committee and admits that he lied. At which point, most of the congressmen applaud him for being brave enough to admit his error. Except for one guy, who says, "I'm happy that you've made the statement. But I cannot agree... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 8:22 AM on July 7, 2008

I know you don't want to, but I think many folks will agree it's ok to lie to small children when there's good reason.

Except there isn't a good reason when this is a possibility:


"It makes me feel uncomfortable talking about. Can we talk about something else please."

Children need to learn that some things are private. I would say, "I'm sorry. I know... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 7:32 AM on July 7, 2008

Here's a story -- not from my childhood -- but from when I was in college. I was about to graduate, but my wife, who was also a student, was a year behind me. Her class was supposed to spend their last year on internship in Cleveland, but it looked like that was about to fall through. Wherever she went, I knew I'd tag along, but it would have really helped me to know in advance, so that I could line up a job.

I had reason to suspect that my faculty adviser new something... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 7:48 AM on July 7, 2008

My experience with my overly inquisitive nephews leads me to believe that no six year old will accept "It makes me feel uncomfortable talking about. Can we talk about something else please?" as an answer.

My experience as a preschool and kindergarten teacher taught me that you're right. They won't except it at first. But if you're firm, they will accept it in the end. If you're the sort of person who is going to cave... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 8:01 AM on July 7, 2008

I will not find someone I love as much as the last girl

This is irrational.

If you'd said "I MIGHT not find someone," you'd make sense. But "I WILL not..."? So do you have magic powers that allow you to read the future?

I didn't have a meaningful relationship until I was almost 30. So you've done much better than me. You've had four in fifteen years? You think that's too few? I'd... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 7:50 AM on July 5, 2008

Become a servant.

It's not about you, it's about the work. It's about the story you're telling, the song you're playing, the words you're saying, etc. Serve THEM.

If you get upset about what someone said about YOU, how does being upset about that serve the work?

If doesn't matter if your work is deeply autobiographical. It can be about you while you're writing it. It's not about you when you're performing it. It's about... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 7:08 PM on July 4, 2008

It's her decision to cheat on her husband, yeah...

I'm confused by people's ethics in this thread.

Let's say Fred goes over to Andy's house and says, "Here's a present for you. It's a TV I stole from my friend Dan." Do you think its okay for Andy to take the TV? After all, HE didn't steal it. It was Fred's decision to steal the TV.

If I was Andy, I couldn't take the TV without feeling like... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 11:22 AM on July 4, 2008

The only women I stay somewhat interested in are the ones I never get to sleep with. They stay in my mind, and I enjoy their company, even for months. But as soon as I sleep with them, it changes completely.

This is really weird to me, because those women haven't morphed into different people after you've had sex with them. Whatever you liked about them beforehand is still a part of them after.

Unless you never liked them AS... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 6:43 PM on July 1, 2008

Do you multitask while watching movies? I never do that. Until about ten years ago, I didn't even eat while watching. I was raised by a film historian, and that meant when a movie was on, the lights were out, the shades were drawn, the phones were turned off, and talking was forbidden. I still love watching movies that way. There's really nothing to focus on except the movie. (I'm really anal about it. I turn off computer monitors. I move distracting, eye-catching object -- e.g vases of flowers... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 9:01 PM on June 28, 2008

I would imagine you could 'create' the sensation of phantom limbs anywhere if you concentrate hard enough.

I can concentrate pretty damn hard, but I can't do that.
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 12:53 PM on June 28, 2008

"Picnic" ("Marry me, Howard!")
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 5:58 AM on June 27, 2008

I agree with John Kenneth Fisher. Most of the other forms you mention are narrative. A huge part of what makes stories interesting is not knowing what's going to happen next.

Though paintings can have narrative aspects, they are less narrative than novels or movies. So I'd add them (and other non-narrative visual arts) to the music category. Many people look at the same paintings on their walls for years without tiring of them.
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 7:32 PM on June 24, 2008

Showboat
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 1:22 PM on June 23, 2008

This is awesome. I have a ton of listening to do. Thanks. Keep 'em coming.
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 2:50 PM on June 22, 2008

Knock on his door, say you heard about it, ask him how he is, how his child is, what can you do to help?

It's important to remember that everyone is different. If I was in your friend's situation, the LAST think I'd want is someone knocking on my door. (Though I hope I'd be gracious enough to understand the good intentions behind the knock.) I'm introverted, and in times of stress I'm even more that way than usual. Your friend my be different from... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 12:30 PM on June 22, 2008

I agree with others here that you should mind your own business. But one way of doing that is to ignore her eccentricities. If they're true parts of her personality, they won't change. If they're ploys for attention -- and from your description, they sound like they might be -- you know the rule: don't give her attention for them. On the other hand, shower her with attention when she's acting "normal."

Next time she freaks out about a special effect, don't say... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 8:03 AM on June 20, 2008

Also, I think this is sort of what "Amadeus" is about. But -- again -- it's not spelled out in a literal way. And it's more about a man weighing himself than a man being weighed by an outside force.
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 11:35 AM on June 19, 2008

Oh! Oh! Oh! "Barry Lyndon" is a pretty good example. [SPOILER] Barry spends the entire movie trying to make something of himself, moving gradually from being a country bumpkin to lord of a great estate. But in the end, he loses everything. The movie even puts a value on him, as one of the final shots is of his wife writing him a check. Some low amount that's now his allowance. And the end title-card reads...

"It was in the reign of George... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 11:39 AM on June 19, 2008

There are several film version of Chekhov's "Uncle Vanya," including (my favorites) "Country Life" and "Vanya on 42nd Street."

In the play, the title character says,

Oh, yes. I had an illuminating personality, which
illuminated no one. [A pause] I had an illuminating personality!
You couldn't say anything more biting. I am forty-seven years
old. Until last year I endeavoured, as... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by grumblebee at 12:48 PM on June 19, 2008