U.S. CONSIDERS MILITARY ACTION TO REMOVE SKATING JUDGES.

February 13, 2002 1:38 PM

U.S. CONSIDERS MILITARY ACTION TO REMOVE SKATING JUDGES. I don't mean to pimp Borowitz again so soon... but damn. Best line from this: While the decision to use military force against the figure skating judges was Mr. Bush’s, sources say there was a split within the Administration as to the appropriateness of using U.S. troops and air power to change the results of an Olympic skating contest.... These sources indicate that Secretary of State Colin Powell favored using economic and diplomatic measures while Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz advocated detaining and torturing the figure skating judges until they reversed their earlier decision.
posted by mattpusateri (3 comments total)

Continues to be unfunny.
posted by jeremias at 2:32 PM on February 13, 2002

seems like an appropriate measure.
posted by howa2396 at 2:46 PM on February 13, 2002

Though not all that hysterically funny either, I prefered BBSpot's pretty similar Unemployment Office Destroyed in War on Recession.
posted by c3o at 3:06 PM on February 13, 2002