Black Holes Merge. Massive layoffs expected throughout galaxy.

November 19, 2002 2:43 PM

Black Holes Merge. Massive layoffs expected throughout galaxy. Analysts predict big payoffs for the economy, however. "A burst of gravitational waves that could warp the very fabric of space will go a long way towards increasing shareholding value," said one economist. Both black holes had recently suffered a dramatic drop in stock price, and were under the threat of hostile takeover from industry leader Black Hole 86184-B before the merger was announced, which took Wall Street pundits off guard. "Much to our surprise, we found that both were active black holes," Stefanie Komossa of the Max Planck Astro-Economics Institute in Germany, said in a statement. Proponents of big business greeted the announcement with pleasure: "This supports the idea that black holes can grow to enormous masses in the centres of galaxies by merging with other black holes."
posted by tweebiscuit (17 comments total)

Sorry, the link was meant to be the main feature of that post, but how could I not run with a joke like that?
posted by tweebiscuit at 2:45 PM on November 19, 2002

Are you here all week?
posted by Pretty_Generic at 2:46 PM on November 19, 2002

Take my wife! Please!
posted by tweebiscuit at 2:46 PM on November 19, 2002

My hopes of a theory linking black holes and financial markets dashed once again.
posted by richardm at 2:50 PM on November 19, 2002

When I right stuff like that, people fetch my medication... ;)
posted by twine42 at 3:06 PM on November 19, 2002

Woulda been even funnier if the name were Kosmossa ;-)
posted by WolfDaddy at 3:07 PM on November 19, 2002

So, I like black holes. Do any of you guys like black holes?
posted by tweebiscuit at 3:08 PM on November 19, 2002

WolfDaddy -- I had no idea what you meant, so I Googled"kosmossa" All I found was this contributionslist which has this listing: "The central radio source in the NGC 383group: jet -- IGM interaction? Kosmossa, Stefanie et al Books." Did theymisspell her name? And if so, how did you know, considering that I can'tfind any other sources for her?

posted by tweebiscuit at 3:11 PM on November 19, 2002

Well, you made me laugh tweenbiscuit.
posted by gametone at 3:21 PM on November 19, 2002

So these massive gravitational waves... you say they cause things to vibrate?
posted by Pretty_Generic at 3:36 PM on November 19, 2002

Not funny. Annoying.
posted by Eyegore at 3:46 PM on November 19, 2002

tweebiscuit, a play on words: Kosmossa. That's all.
posted by WolfDaddy at 3:48 PM on November 19, 2002

Black holes REALLY like me!
posted by HTuttle at 4:06 PM on November 19, 2002

This was already mentioned in the other celestial thread today.
posted by riffola at 4:23 PM on November 19, 2002

charles burns, the only black hole worth talking about
posted by Peter H at 5:23 PM on November 19, 2002

Oh, crap. Honestly, I wanted to have an interesting conversation about black holes. I checked the other thread to make sure it wasn't linking to the same story, but didn't go over the comments. Oh, well.
posted by tweebiscuit at 5:30 PM on November 19, 2002

oops wrong link, i meant to link the bio
seriously, doods and ladies, the only black hole worth peeping
posted by Peter H at 5:32 PM on November 19, 2002