Lord Of The Rhymes

December 5, 2002 6:57 AM

Hobbiton It's On!!! "Yo, I'm harder than a Mithril coat / A hundred is the number of the orcs I smote / I battled Helms Deep and I took Minas Tirith / If you don't watch out, I'll make your ass dissappeareth.." - Lord of the Rhymes. For those of you who can't wait to see Legolas bustin' caps again in "The Two Towers," settle down for some gangsta rap (5.61 MB MP3), Middle Earth style. "He's mean / he's green / Gollum beat box like you never seen!" (via firda)
posted by lotsofno (29 comments total)

One bling to rule them all.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 7:03 AM on December 5, 2002

No, I'm sorry. That's dire.

The track I mean, my pun was superb.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 7:04 AM on December 5, 2002

i might as well post this obligatory link, since they do sample it and all.. "the ballad of bilbo baggins" with leonard nimoy (6.2 MB quicktime mov.)
posted by lotsofno at 7:05 AM on December 5, 2002

Word to your hobbit.
posted by jazon at 7:09 AM on December 5, 2002

Oh. Oh, Dear.

Pour a .40 for Boromir.
posted by Ufez Jones at 7:31 AM on December 5, 2002

Now, if only the Very Secret Diaries would start up again...
posted by thomas j wise at 7:37 AM on December 5, 2002

Will the real ring bearer please stand up?
posted by gsteff at 7:42 AM on December 5, 2002

Is their geek rap for every genre?
posted by agregoli at 7:45 AM on December 5, 2002

I battled Helms Deep and I took Minas Tirith
If you don’t watch out, I’ll make your ass dissappeareth.
That's the funniest thing I've read today.
posted by Robot Johnny at 7:47 AM on December 5, 2002

The Gollum beat box is the best part by far.

It's interesting that the Beastie Boys' "Licensed to Ill" is still so influential after all this time. See the "King Ad Hoc" quatrain especially, but it's throughout. Boo yeah.

I always suspected that Elf booty got soul.
posted by jmcmurry at 7:51 AM on December 5, 2002

Ahhh.

Will that old comedy chestnut of mixing rap and/or rap culture with something very different from rap and/or rap culture ever grow old?
posted by ed\26h at 8:23 AM on December 5, 2002

In other news, Saruman is beginning an investigation because of the "Orc Killa" lyrics.

Meanwhile, street battles continue between the "West Coast" Sindarin and "East Coast" Quenya. Watch out for stray arrows during ride-bys.
posted by dhartung at 8:27 AM on December 5, 2002

It’s the chronic pipeweed that I’m smoking

No doubt.
posted by the fire you left me at 8:29 AM on December 5, 2002

Gollum beatbox rules. Anyone know where the sound clips are from? The cartoon film version perhaps?
posted by Orange Goblin at 9:44 AM on December 5, 2002

They forgot to work in Gandalf:

Fire and smoke are my domain
I light fires even if it rain
Ol Balrog when he see me comin'
Betta run coz I gonna set his ass to thrummin'

Of the Istari only I survive
I am one of what used to be five.
I showed Saruman I am badder and faster
I am Gandalf the Wizard Master.
posted by Lynsey at 9:59 AM on December 5, 2002

brilliant. my favorite is the Props section: "To all the unsung heroes-- Hama, Ioreth, Ghan-Buri-Ghan--keep on keeping on; your shit is unstoppable." if only the credits of the movie read like this....
posted by serafinapekkala at 10:33 AM on December 5, 2002

My name is Grima Wormtounge
And I'm rapping, this ain't sung
Gonna tell Saruman what's going down
Gonna get me a palantir and chuck it around

Bah...my rhythm is dodgy, saying nothing of the lyrics...
posted by Orange Goblin at 12:04 PM on December 5, 2002

Deja Voodoo have a song called This Ring Is Driving Me Crazy. It's not very good but I can't help singing along.
posted by Foaf at 12:11 PM on December 5, 2002

Pop Culture meet Lord of the Rings.
Lord of the Rings, meet Pop Culture.
We thought you two would never meet.
posted by blue_beetle at 12:44 PM on December 5, 2002

All shall Hear this and Despair.
posted by blue_beetle at 12:49 PM on December 5, 2002

Brilliant. Absolutely freakin Brilliant. Mad props to the author, yo. I loved it.
posted by rrtek at 1:36 PM on December 5, 2002

NZ funk-folk duo Flight of the Conchords do a Lord of the Rings pastiche in their act, culminating in a rap ("Yo, Frodo, why you wearing that ring? All-powerful jewellery, is that your thing?"). It's pretty funny, especially given one of the duo is best known in LotR circles as Figwit.
posted by John Shaft at 1:38 PM on December 5, 2002

Anyone know where the sound clips are from? The cartoon film version perhaps?

I'm about 99% sure that it was this one.
posted by pfuller at 3:58 PM on December 5, 2002

They forgot to work in Gandalf...

When he rides, my fears subside,
For darkness turns once more to light.
Through the skies, his white horse flies,
To find a land beyond the night.


Once he wore grey, he fell and slipped away
From everybody's sight.
The wizard of them all, came back from his fall
This time wearing white.

I guess he's been done, so why bother?
posted by entrustNoOne at 4:13 PM on December 5, 2002

I was totally expecting this to be lame, but the Gollum beat box section totally blew me away! This rocked.
posted by maciej at 4:21 AM on December 6, 2002

URL emailed to the local college's Tolkien/medieval studies professor. His reaction should be interesting.
posted by tragedy_and_comedy at 5:46 AM on December 6, 2002

A friend informs me that 'Gollum's' beatbox is an original, not done by the Lords of the Rhymes. He doesn't know anything about it other than it features on the Invisibl Skratch Piklz Vinyl "Battle Breaks". Anyone else got any info?
posted by Orange Goblin at 8:09 AM on December 6, 2002

Gollum's Beatbox is sampled from the UTFO song "Bite It".
posted by daveleck at 3:02 PM on December 11, 2002

I should note that UTFO may have sampled it from elsewhere, but "Bite It" was released in 1985.
posted by daveleck at 3:05 PM on December 11, 2002