Entrances to Hell

December 12, 2002 9:18 AM

Entrances to Hell abound throughout the United Kingdom. Who knew?
posted by staggernation (28 comments total)

I have to say I'm skeptical about some of those radiation counts. Honestly: 0.0009841 spectrons for a single doorway? Why, that's enough to give Old Scratch himself a sixth eye!
posted by vraxoin at 9:23 AM on December 12, 2002

Super Link Performance! I thank you.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 9:24 AM on December 12, 2002

Non-descript metal doors have always been a little mysterious to me. Now I can add a creepy filter too.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:31 AM on December 12, 2002

Braaashteeefunorvallishhtuuu Satan's heat-image can sometimes be seen here and it has recently been proven that all of the earth's insects were born just inside the metal door

That's some serious insect output, but when you consider the sheer number of unnecessary vowels in the location's name, it all comes clear.

Also, that name sounds like throwing up after 12 pints of lager, 2 onion bhajees and a chicken vindaloo.
posted by Kafkaesque at 9:38 AM on December 12, 2002

This is awesome. Just the right mix of earnest sincerity and complete insanity. Great link, staggernation.

There are several miles of beech panelling in the tunnels and it can be made invisible

Beech panelling! So fashionable! It must be specially-treated so as not to burn, I wonder if Home Depot has a special section? And is it the whole schmeer or just the panelling that can be made invisible?
posted by biscotti at 9:40 AM on December 12, 2002

It's like The Falls imagined by Vic Reeves! Thank you vastly, staggernation!
posted by Grangousier at 9:44 AM on December 12, 2002

We don't have any around here, so we're digging our own.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:46 AM on December 12, 2002

Cooool. What a cool site. I sooo wish I'd thought of it. Heh.

(My links, that pale in comparison)
Is this ugliest of webpages appropriately also a gate to hell? What the hell is hell, anyway? If you enter this Hellsite, will it really infect your computer with viruses and ruin your credit? Is there a portal in Michigan or New York?

And can you display http://www.hell.no/? Hell, no.
posted by Shane at 9:51 AM on December 12, 2002

This is the devil's primary access to Greater Manchester.

: )
posted by sgt.serenity at 9:54 AM on December 12, 2002

Crash, now that is truly hellish.
posted by Shane at 9:55 AM on December 12, 2002

This is awesome. A place called Badadada Tatatata. 'nuff said.
posted by risenc at 10:01 AM on December 12, 2002

I like this very much. thankyou
posted by gravelshoes at 10:01 AM on December 12, 2002

my favorite is Chee-Ops
posted by Satapher at 10:08 AM on December 12, 2002

Or possibly Water Wrackets imagined by Chris Morris and Alexander Michael St John.
posted by Grangousier at 10:19 AM on December 12, 2002

Safety Rules:

Rule 1: It may be an obvious thing to say but NEVER try to go inside an Entrance to Hell.
Rule 2: Always approach an entrance on your stomach.
Rule 3: Don't shout at the devil (not even with good news).
Rule 4: Wear rubber gloves for 3 or 4 days after your visit.

So many jokes, so little time.
posted by yhbc at 11:05 AM on December 12, 2002

I spy conspiracy. No mention for Swindon. Or Streatham.
posted by riviera at 11:07 AM on December 12, 2002

The names alone are worth a visit.
posted by kozad at 11:23 AM on December 12, 2002

I spy conspiracy. No mention for Swindon. Or Streatham.

ENTRANCES to hell, Riv. Not the place itself.

Yeah, that's right. I'm taking the piss from places I've never been. Sue me.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 11:27 AM on December 12, 2002

Hellmouthspotting. I guess things got pretty dull after trainspotting was declared "suspicious activity"
posted by Ogre Lawless at 11:43 AM on December 12, 2002

Cobblers ceases to exist for a few minutes every Wednesday morning.

Excellent, simply excellent.
posted by Lord Chancellor at 11:46 AM on December 12, 2002

I agree with the unanimous approval of the site, however what's with the incongruously cheerful purple & yellow color scheme?
posted by BigPicnic at 12:12 PM on December 12, 2002

Marvelous. The names alone are enough to recommend it.

But crash, did you have to link to that picture? Ever since I saw Fortress, those giant dumptrucks give me the creepy-crawlies...
posted by hippugeek at 12:32 PM on December 12, 2002

Who knew? Shok knew.
posted by pekar wood at 12:40 PM on December 12, 2002

That is so odd. I really like the deadpan tone of it.
posted by jcruelty at 12:46 PM on December 12, 2002

Nice link, nice hell-gates. Graffiti really sucks.
posted by hama7 at 3:41 PM on December 12, 2002

But where is Dudley?

Anyone got a good shot of Merry Hill to send them?
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 3:55 PM on December 12, 2002

Dudley is in the West Midlands, near Birmingham.
posted by kerplunk at 1:09 PM on December 13, 2002

Oh, you meant why wasn't it included. Durrr.
posted by kerplunk at 1:10 PM on December 13, 2002