Do you slip her the hot beef injection?

February 1, 2003 11:24 PM

Teenage Girls Not Getting Enough Meat...At least, not according to the American Beef Industry, which concoted this laughably ridiculous "lifestyle" site to appeal to god knows who, ostensibly focused on teen girl issues (prom? dating?), but with a thinly veiled meaty agenda beneath it all. Bonus points for the horrifically Avrilesque domain name. Marketing. It's what's for dinner.
posted by jonson (59 comments total)

Real girls are "keepin' it real" by building strong bodies and strong minds... and they're feeling great about themselves!

too bad all the images are from clip art with that terrifying fish eye view... keppn' it rilll.....
posted by Peter H at 11:31 PM on February 1, 2003

When I was a teenager, I did more than my fair share to make sure teenage girls got enough meat. It's up to the next generation now.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:36 PM on February 1, 2003

Funded by America's Beef Producers 

©2003 Cattlemen's Beef Board, National Cattlemen's Beef Association and Circle 1 Network.

Too many jokes, too little time. How mindbogglingly weird.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:37 PM on February 1, 2003

What type of beef do you most like to eat with your friends?

Steak
Tacos
Burgers
Subs

Good grief... (tacos are winning overwhelmingly, BTW)
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 11:40 PM on February 1, 2003

"That's not a sandwich, that's a Manwich™!"
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:42 PM on February 1, 2003

oddly, it gets weirder:

This project was funded by beef producers through their $1-per head checkoff and was produced for the Cattlemen's Beef Board and state beef councils by the National Cattlemen's Beef Association.

Uhm, so, what, everytime they killed a head of cattle, a dollar went to funding the "Little Girls Need More Beef" project?
posted by jdaura at 11:47 PM on February 1, 2003

Ooo... the fight is on! Who'll be first to brainwash the kids?

News at 11!
posted by shepd at 11:56 PM on February 1, 2003

Ok, that is pretty weird, but my favourite “meat product for group” site has to be Pork 4 Kids, especially the Farm Tour.
posted by X-00 at 11:59 PM on February 1, 2003

Don't forget to check out the other exciting meat related kid's website brought to you by your friends at Kids.com ...

BURGERTOWN!
posted by jdaura at 12:00 AM on February 2, 2003

Checked out the cool chat room but there was some dude named Ritter hogging the room with his bitchin about Bush and Iraq and stuff. He sounded alot older than 17 too.
posted by HTuttle at 12:08 AM on February 2, 2003

GravityTeen is another site with the focus on "self-esteem", yet with the subtext of telling abortion horror stories.
posted by 4easypayments at 12:14 AM on February 2, 2003

I like hearing what "real" girls say about things.

Also, that is some pretty wacky link placement.

"Take a free personality test to see how you fit in"
personality test is just in bold for fun though, good freakin' luck finding a link!
posted by rhyax at 12:18 AM on February 2, 2003

Rhyax: You actually went around that site looking for links? Guess I'm not in their demographic...

Now as a special treat courtesy of our friends at the Meat
Council, please help yourself to this tripe.
posted by arto at 12:45 AM on February 2, 2003

cattlemen's carcass dating data service
posted by quonsar at 1:16 AM on February 2, 2003

From Burgertown:


When you want a yummy beef dinner that takes only 10 minutes in the microwave, what can you ask your parents to make?

a: Popcorn from an Iowa cornfield
b: Pre-cooked pot roast from the store
c: Pizza from school
d: Pasta from Italy


Forgetting for a moment the bewildered looks on parents faces when their children ask for a yummy beef dinner that takes only 10 minutes in the microwave, the sources listed for these foods are fascinating: pasta comes from Italy, popcorn comes from Iowa, pizza comes from... um... school, and pre-cooked pot roast is the only one of these which comes from a store, where it magically appears in the freezer cabinets.
posted by 4easypayments at 1:22 AM on February 2, 2003

The Meat Council Presents:

"MEAT AND YOU:

PARTNERS IN FREEDOM"

Number 3F03 in the "Resistance is Useless" Series
posted by Space Coyote at 1:27 AM on February 2, 2003

Hey - quit picking on beef and beef producers! BEEF IS GOOD, and BEEF IS TASTY. You can't deny it.

mmmmmmmmm...steak...........
posted by davidmsc at 5:07 AM on February 2, 2003

If god didn't want us to eat cows, why did he make them out of meat?
posted by PenDevil at 5:24 AM on February 2, 2003

PenDevil: You're made of meat. And you've been looking a little plump lately as well.

*does his best Hannibal impression*
posted by Space Coyote at 5:38 AM on February 2, 2003

While mostly avoiding red meat, I feel the occasional burger or meatball sub is OK. Hell, perhaps it will have a positive effect in countering anorexia (only half kidding).

Stealth marketing of this sort doesn't worry me too much though, and this site typifies why. The dated look and feel and painfully out of touch slang radiates focus group phoniness. Teenagers are very smart and media savvy, and can spot a fake a mile away. I just can't take very seriously the idea of a bunch of teenage girls actually hanging out at Web "community" sponsored by the beef industry.
posted by Scoo at 6:12 AM on February 2, 2003

Here's a site I was involved with (backend coding, not design):

http://www.misslo.at/

The site is operated by a large pharmaceuticals company. The target audience is teenage girls, age 12-16. The product is Wyeth's brand of birth control pill, though I believe the company is not allowed to explicitly sell or recommend the pill to its target audience.

This is a 360 degree campaign, in my employer's parlance, including new media, traditional advertising and events. (To see pictures of events, click the "Pictures" link under the "Events" item in the link header).

The site is in German, and it does make use of some annoying, noisy flash (not my fault).

I hate advertising, marketing and consumer culture, but it does put beef on my dinner table...
posted by syzygy at 6:15 AM on February 2, 2003

I hear that American boys aren't getting enough.....testosterone. No wonder there's a "meat gap"! ...amazing what you can achieve - in vitro - with low levels of dioxin and other estrogenic persistent organic pollutants!
posted by troutfishing at 7:27 AM on February 2, 2003

How about the recipe (if you were sick enough to spend more that eleven seconds on this site) for "Pizza Pie with Mashed Potatoes?"

I thought it would be one of those weird pizzas from Japan, where potato pizza is everywhere, but, no, it's really just shepherd's pie (a pound of hamburger baked with mashed potatoes on top) with a catchy "with-it" pizza-y moniker.
posted by kozad at 7:33 AM on February 2, 2003

Mmmm...steaky!
posted by kirkaracha at 7:37 AM on February 2, 2003

Damned soy-commissars, enfeebling a whole generation of young American women!
posted by troutfishing at 7:44 AM on February 2, 2003

Uhm, so, what, everytime they killed a head of cattle, a dollar went to funding the "Little Girls Need More Beef" project?

These check-off programs are quite controversial. NPR did a story here about the beef check-off, and why some small/organic ranchers have a big problem with it. Basically: They don't think that their product benefits from campaigns like this and "Beef:It's What's for Dinner" and consider it an abridgment of free speech that they have to pay (in part) for the programs.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 7:52 AM on February 2, 2003

Oh my god... BURN THE INFIDELS!
posted by Resonance at 8:11 AM on February 2, 2003

and consider it an abridgment of free speech that they have to pay (in part) for the programs.

Its not so much a free speech issue, but more 'taxation without representation' issue.
posted by rough ashlar at 8:12 AM on February 2, 2003

"When I was a teenager, I did more than my fair share to make sure teenage girls got enough meat. "

Funniest. Comment. Ever.
posted by Blake at 8:20 AM on February 2, 2003

'Mom, the flashy kewliez colors are hurting my eyez!'

'Then go to the eat-more-yummy-carrots site dear.'
posted by ambivalentgirl at 8:31 AM on February 2, 2003

cheesecake? nope. meatcake.
posted by madamjujujive at 8:42 AM on February 2, 2003

Metafilter: I make sure I to eat healthy.
posted by britain at 8:50 AM on February 2, 2003

That GravityTeen site that 4easypayments linked to sure doesn't look like it's for teens...particularly when you go to the Abortion Images section (Warning: graphic abortion images). The pop-up this link normally generates still has the title "Abortion Images, GravityTeen builds confidence and personal power in teens who face pregnancy and abortion issues". Yeah, right.

I think I prefer the beef industries propaganda techniques.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 9:13 AM on February 2, 2003

GRAVITYTEEN, GRAVITYTEEN.COM, the GRAVITYTEEN.COM logo, GET YOUR FEET ON THE GROUND, LEAN INTO IT, ALWAYS LAND ON YOUR FEET, THE PLACE THAT PULLS IT ALL TOGETHER and WHEN YOUR WORLD IS UPSIDE DOWN are trademarks of the Vitae Caring Foundation.

what are those, Ace of Base songs?

also, it appears that the Vitae Caring Foundation is a division of Maine's Right To Life, which is some kinda pro-life kinda jig.
posted by mcsweetie at 9:39 AM on February 2, 2003

The only answer to this problem is mandatory hot beef injections.

Hindu girls seem to do alright without beef.
posted by Frank Grimes at 9:44 AM on February 2, 2003

jonson, Why do you hate beef so much?
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 10:23 AM on February 2, 2003

The Beef Industry telling us how good beef is for us? What'll be next, Oil-man Bush telling us how much we need to exploit oil reserves?
posted by Shane at 10:43 AM on February 2, 2003

Stealth marketing of this sort doesn't worry me too much though, and this site typifies why. The dated look and feel and painfully out of touch slang radiates focus group phoniness.

It's only a matter of time before ad agencies begin to understand what is necessary to make teens accept this sort of steath marketing. "Truth", the campaign by the American Legacy Foundation does this amazingly well. I have no problems with the Truth site because I personally agree with their goals. If the the same techniques were applied to just about any other topic though, I would be fairly horrified.
posted by 4easypayments at 10:44 AM on February 2, 2003

"Truth" works light years better than any of the sites linked on this page, but I think they've still got a long way to go before it comes across as credible "hip" advice rather than public service announcements. For a good contrast though, compare them to the laughably inept (and deliberately so) "anti smoking" commercials put out by the cigarette industry, the Phillip Morris spots make me want to smoke just to get back at the lame preachy kids in the commercials. Man, who thought THAT was a good idea, making cigarrette companies produce anti smoking spots. The most watered down crap ever. Let's also remember that when it comes to rebelling against what they are told to do for the sake of coolness, no one beats teenagers, so the Beef Industry (and the Anti Smoking Industry, et al) are a little behind the eight ball to begin with.
posted by jonson at 11:09 AM on February 2, 2003

QUOTES: If god didn't want us to eat cows, why did he make them out of meat? ..... You're made of meat. And you've been looking a little plump lately as well.

What? And nobody mentions the classic sci-fi story: www.terrybisson.com/meat.html
("So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."
"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat
made the machines."
"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to
believe in sentient meat.")

BTW the figure skater Sasha Cohen has an endorsement deal with one of the beef associations. She's about 4' 11'' and 90 lbs. I think the average cow could eat her for breakfast.
posted by NorthernLite at 11:51 AM on February 2, 2003

"I think the average cow could eat her for breakfast."

And they would, too, if they had the chance. It's them or us.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:13 PM on February 2, 2003

I think the average cow could eat her for breakfast

Only if she's vegetarian
posted by matteo at 12:14 PM on February 2, 2003

soylent teen
posted by varmint at 12:18 PM on February 2, 2003

I think we're getting some serious simpsons spillover from the neighbouring thread. Should we call in a clean-up crew ? :)
posted by Space Coyote at 12:27 PM on February 2, 2003

Hey, let's not forget Cows N' Us. I love a good steak but these sites are pretty ridiculous. It's links like this that really make me enjoy meatfilter, err metafilter.
posted by BackwardsHatClub at 12:47 PM on February 2, 2003

"Cigarettes are known to contain Carbon. You know what else contained carbon? HITLER!!!!"

The "Truth" campaign doesn’t work at all. Namely because the don't do it. Every commercially I've seen from them lately has been so transparent in it's lies it makes me sick.

I'm about as anti-smoking as they come, but those adds are ridiculous. You can't scare kids into not doing something they think is cool. And the psudo-scientific arguments they make are so obviously meaningless that no one would be scared anyway.
posted by delmoi at 2:53 PM on February 2, 2003

fun banner at kids.com
posted by eddydamascene at 2:55 PM on February 2, 2003

As an ex-smoker for about 5 years now, I normally have no interest in being around cigarettes at all, but those "Truth" ads just make me want to light up.

I know that partially has to do with the whole lack of respect for authority thing I have going on, but jeez...a bunch of self-righteous kids preaching about how evil tobacco companies are? I think most normal kids would want to be as different from these government puppet-teens as possible.
posted by zaack at 3:37 PM on February 2, 2003

Another reason not to have kids.
And to die.
posted by stvc15 at 3:38 PM on February 2, 2003

a bunch of self-righteous kids preaching about how evil tobacco companies are?

Don't shoot the messenger.
posted by adampsyche at 3:42 PM on February 2, 2003

Exactly, zaack; "Don't be a tool of the Big Bad Corporate Behemoths — be a tool of your Friendly Government Behemoth instead!" And as delmoi pointed out, the distortions and lies and statistics fabricated from whole cloth which Truth employs kind of make them raging hypocrites. I think dying a few years early is a small price to pay for the pleasure of annoying that particular brand of self-righteous scum.

I'm sorry, did somebody say something about lack of respect for authority?
posted by IshmaelGraves at 3:48 PM on February 2, 2003

"...it's really just shepherd's pie (a pound of hamburger baked with mashed potatoes on top)"

You crazy Americans! A pound of hamburger baked? What the hell? Like an apple pie, but with meat and gravy inside. It's a god damn meat pie! A MEAT PIE! A MEAT PIE WITH POTATO BAKED ON TOP!

No wonder your beef producers are sinking to this level to try and get you to buy the damn stuff. The rest of the world has meat pies, why the hell don't you?

Grumblegrumblegrumble...
posted by Dillonlikescookies at 4:05 PM on February 2, 2003

I'm with delmoi and zaack about how bad the Truth ads are. It just makes me want to rebel by flipping the bird to the TV and lighting up. The first few Truth ads years ago were pretty good, where it had more solid facts.
posted by Kevin Sanders at 4:14 PM on February 2, 2003

"Madam, your daughter has colon cancer. Very odd for a 17 year old girl."

"But doctor, just like the web site says, she has her daily 22 servings of beef. How could this possibly happen?"
posted by benjh at 4:33 PM on February 2, 2003

STOP HARASSING COWS!
DONT DRINK MILK!
STOP HARASSING COWS!
DONT DRINK MILK!
STOP HARASSING COWS!
DONT DRINK MILK!
posted by Satapher at 7:41 PM on February 2, 2003

Northernlite: I am in your debt for reminding me of the "Meat" Sci-Fi story:

"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"
"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."

"I thought you just told me they used radio."

"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."

"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"

"Officially or unofficially?"

"Both."

"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."

"I was hoping you would say that."

"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"

"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? 'Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"

"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."

"So we just pretend there's no one home in the Universe."

"That's it."

"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You're sure they won't remember?"

"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."

"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."

"And we marked the entire sector unoccupied."

"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed."
posted by troutfishing at 8:30 PM on February 2, 2003

Do they really expect us to swallow this tripe?
posted by Samsonov14 at 7:36 AM on February 3, 2003

It's funny that this ruse - The Beef industry says teenagers aren't getting enough Beef - is so transparent and laughable to so many of us (here on MeFi, anyway) who don't blink an eye when it's phrased as The Milk industry says teenagers aren't getting enough Calcium.
posted by soyjoy at 10:38 AM on February 3, 2003

Just for the record, saying "Teen girls not getting enough meat" should never ever be said outloud at work.
posted by tankboy at 6:39 PM on February 3, 2003