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American Hienie?
May 14, 2003 8:42 PM   Subscribe

Ok, I'm not the American Idol type, but I was aimlessly link clicking and I came to settle on the From Justin to Kelly movie site. Okay, yeah the movie is gonna suck worse that Battlefield Earth meets Ishtar, but as I clicked a link there to see the "poster you voted on!" I noticed Kelly's butt suddenly had suddenly grown to JLo-like dimensions. Before Betty Crocker's PixelHelper...and After.... Baby's got back! Now, who in the long line of marketing weasels and designers working on this poster said "Let's make her butt bigger"? This is the girl that caught criticism for being too big at a whopping size 6 or something. Are they trying to sexy her up? Make her appeal to more latin/black audiences? Was that corner of the poster just not curvy enough? This one really bugs, and puzzles me.
posted by Dome-O-Rama (39 comments total)

 
I think they're making that one guy's tits look bigger this season.
posted by Ignatius J. Reilly at 8:50 PM on May 14, 2003


Good catch, Dome-O.

THIS FILM IS NOT YET RATED... it'll depend on how crazy we get with the Photoshop.
posted by soyjoy at 9:03 PM on May 14, 2003


Yes, it is. It's rated C for crap. Good catch on the stupid Photoshop trick, though.
posted by shagoth at 9:05 PM on May 14, 2003


haha ignatius :-D

i hate when i see movie posters where it's incredibly obvious the actors have been airbrushed into some unnatural-to-them shape. they do it a lot with julia roberts, sometimes just sticking her head on another woman's body altogether - ie: the "pretty woman" posters.

i guess they're fearful we'll all stay home in droves if there's a slight imperfection to be found in the promos. i guess they're idiots.
posted by t r a c y at 9:11 PM on May 14, 2003


"i guess they're fearful we'll all stay home in droves if there's a slight imperfection to be found in the promos. i guess they're idiots."

Cos I'm going to stay home anyways, no matter how large they make that butt seem.
posted by dazed_one at 9:20 PM on May 14, 2003


Come on, its just an ass. Actually it makes her look a lot more curvy then having a large ass. There's a long tradition in making sexy movie posters. Remember the original Star Wars poster? I looks like it could have been for a porn movie.

Further proof that the cult of celebrity consists of no real people. Now if we could only stop emulating these fakes...
posted by skallas at 9:21 PM on May 14, 2003


Big asses for all!
posted by monkeymike at 9:22 PM on May 14, 2003


isn't there a chance it's another picture taken slightly before or after the other one, and she's arching her back a little more? Maybe?
posted by bonheur at 9:24 PM on May 14, 2003


Dome, this is exactly the crap that made me sign up here. Thanks. Having said that, you're a dead man. Bringing in fat butts and a TV program in the same post is going to usher in the metafilter D-bags faster than you can say "Iraqfilter". Good luck.
posted by Samsonov14 at 9:25 PM on May 14, 2003


I like it and I can not lie. These other brothers can't deny.
posted by scarabic at 9:32 PM on May 14, 2003


i guess they're fearful we'll all stay home in droves if there's a slight imperfection to be found in the promos. i guess they're idiots.

Although I have the sneaking suspicion that they may have done some market research and found that people would be more apt to see a movie if they altered the poster to make the actors look more inhumanly beautiful...

Which would make _us_ the idiots. Oh my...
posted by Space Coyote at 9:44 PM on May 14, 2003


You can never have too much junk in the trunk.

Now I wonder if this movie will someday play a triple bill with Mariah Carey's Glitter and Britney's Crossroads.
posted by mathowie at 9:58 PM on May 14, 2003


Don't forget "Spice World."
posted by PrinceValium at 10:03 PM on May 14, 2003


I haven't seen anyone say it in a long time, so I'll take the risk of being yelled at.

I, for one, welcome our large-assed overlords...
posted by dgt at 10:07 PM on May 14, 2003


This wouldn't be the first time they've done this. When the poster for Undercover Brother came out, Denise Richards was horrified to discover her backside had been augmented digitally.

After she got a surprising amount of positive feedback she changed her tune and actually embraced her "digitally enhanced behind".
posted by O9scar at 10:11 PM on May 14, 2003


if I was a dude... I'm all big-butted woman baby!

And it's definitely the same shot... they took IN her back to make the butt curve more.
posted by Dome-O-Rama at 10:12 PM on May 14, 2003


Which would make _us_ the idiots. Oh my...

heh, yah... but i don't spend money on glossy american movies, with glossed over movie stars. i like things a bit realer than trad hollywood can produce. (unless we're talking sci fi... i lerve american sci-fi)
posted by t r a c y at 10:18 PM on May 14, 2003


They are clearly going after the vito90 demographic. Perhaps vito90 can tell us if Kelly's embellished butt is lockjaw-worthy.
posted by samuelad at 10:22 PM on May 14, 2003


How do we know the big butt isn't the original, and they made it smaller, like in Star Trek V.
posted by bobo123 at 10:24 PM on May 14, 2003


Oh come on. It looks like the designer just did it so they could fit more of the palm tree into frame. Removing part of the back was the point. Rounding out the hips just looks like an after-thought.

I'm sure the designer cares about how well the movie sells on some level, but mostly, they just wanted to make their design work.
posted by willnot at 12:01 AM on May 15, 2003


And the double Ls in the name. Making them fit was probably even more important to the design than the tree.
posted by willnot at 12:03 AM on May 15, 2003


Are they trying to sexy her up? Make her appeal to more latin/black audiences?

Yeah, those negroes sure do love them big butts, don't they?

Is anyone else offended by the very suggestion that the way to attract minority viewers is to apply their stereotypes to white people?
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 4:13 AM on May 15, 2003


I think it's something to be amused by, not so much offended. Besides, the booty-lovin' white guy demographic has been worely under-represented in today's culture. :)
posted by Space Coyote at 4:34 AM on May 15, 2003


XQWERTYUIOP, you don't get offended, you are offended, just waiting to happen.
posted by quonsar at 5:19 AM on May 15, 2003


what's this stuff coming out of my ear?

oh.

it's my brain.
posted by kaibutsu at 5:29 AM on May 15, 2003


an alien from andromeda would need only 20 minutes or so of MTV viewing to come to the conclusion that yes, negroes do like them big butts. it's practically a pop culture meme. at the moment, the only white pop culture icon to come to mind exhibiting the same interest would be hal, the dad on malcolm in the middle, and he's fictitious. oh wait, so are all those rapper d00ds. never mind.
posted by quonsar at 5:40 AM on May 15, 2003




They are clearly going after the vito90 demographic. Perhaps vito90 can tell us if Kelly's embellished butt is lockjaw-worthy.

Too skinny by half, even in the after picture. Who goes into a steak restaraunt and orders the biggest bone on the menu? I want meat, fat, gristle, flesh. I want that shit shakin'. I want that booty to be the size of my own head, minimum.
posted by vito90 at 6:28 AM on May 15, 2003


The sound you just heard was that of Western Civilization coming to a close not with a bang, but a whimper.
posted by vraxoin at 7:02 AM on May 15, 2003


Preach On, brother vito. That little twig dosent even have litter, let alone junk in the trunk.

And to quote some more sages:

Big bottom
Big bottom
Talk about mud flaps
My gal's got 'em.
Big bottom
Drive me out of my mind.
How can I leave this behind
?
posted by jonmc at 7:15 AM on May 15, 2003


Oh come on. It looks like the designer just did it so they could fit more of the palm tree into frame. Removing part of the back was the point. Rounding out the hips just looks like an after-thought.
And the double Ls in the name.


willnot, no offense intended, but that's the most ass-inine defense I've heard in a while. They didn't pose in front of a palm tree and then have the background removed for the first link; they posed in front of a flat color so they could be superimposed onto a background for the second link. Since it was assembled from different elements, there are a hundred ways the composition of the poster could have been created to address whatever concerns you think they had. It's jaw-droppingly (sorry, vito90) obvious that the butt enhancement was its own raison d'etre.
posted by soyjoy at 7:57 AM on May 15, 2003


"She is an otherwise attractive woman but her ass is to small."

or

"She is an otherwise attractive woman but her ass is to small so I won't go see her movie."

I'm not sure which is worse.
posted by Cyrano at 8:46 AM on May 15, 2003


Please pretend this was posted by someone who doesn't care if everyone knows he watched all of the first season of American Idol...

What's interesting is that Kelly originally had a pretty big butt. When the series started, she was... not chubby, but TV chubby, you know? Like normal sized and buxom. She shrank through the course of the show, and seems to have become even thinner. And now they're forced to digitally reconstruct her original butt.

Anyone read Survivor? Fixes for fixes.
posted by rusty at 8:59 AM on May 15, 2003


To quote a sage voice on the subject:

I'd like to quote BBD, Chapter 12, Verse 14 of the Buyer's guide to Novelty 80s Hip Hop:

Never trust a big butt and a smile.
posted by thanotopsis at 10:05 AM on May 15, 2003


WOW! I love that plugin on the BBD link (the "back" part, ironically). Super cool! I'm gonna go there again just so I can watch it. Thanks, thanotopsis. (This is a kind of thing I wanted to get going about eight years ago and never got my act together to produce it.)
posted by soyjoy at 10:32 AM on May 15, 2003


I wouldn't mind having a big butt if everything didn't match.
posted by konolia at 11:57 AM on May 15, 2003


...the movie is gonna suck worse that Battlefield Earth meets Ishtar.

Big butt, small butt, whatever... Ishtar is pure genius! If Justin & Kelly can make a movie half that good, it'll be a cult classic if nothing else!
posted by spilon at 1:26 PM on May 15, 2003


i don't spend money on glossy american movies, with glossed over movie stars. i like things a bit realer than trad hollywood can produce.

I bet you don't own a television either, eh?

Hollywood, like pop music, has to be judged on a case to case basis. Did you skip over Punch Drunk Love because it had Adam Sandler in it? The Anniversary Party to avoid Gwyneth Paltrow? You're missing out.
posted by mikrophon at 2:32 PM on May 15, 2003


You're missing out.
perhaps. but he's not supporting thieves and fascists like jack valenti, either.
posted by quonsar at 3:27 PM on May 15, 2003


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