Oh shit...

November 16, 2004 10:42 AM

Oh crap. Rumours are starting to emerge that following the death of his favourite consort Kim Jong-Il has retreated into virtual seclusion allowing the the military to take over in a defacto coup.
posted by PenDevil (35 comments total)

That's take over North Korea if no one is aware who Kim Jong-Il is...
posted by PenDevil at 10:44 AM on November 16, 2004

dear leader has been dead for over 3 weeks.
posted by clavdivs at 10:47 AM on November 16, 2004

PenDevil - and, that's a BAD thing ? Maybe it is. I really don't know. All I can think of is that Kim Jong-Il puppet, from team America, singing "I'm so wonly......Oh so wonly....".

I bet he's reading this right now. Sorry Kim - even if you are a madman and an evil tyrant.

( clavdivs - you live! )
posted by troutfishing at 10:47 AM on November 16, 2004

Who'd have thought that all it took was Sum Dead Ho?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:59 AM on November 16, 2004

clavdivs lives...but he still doesn't make any sense...
posted by dash_slot- at 11:03 AM on November 16, 2004

Oh crap? It seems like this could only be good. NK is in a horrible state, and KJI is mentally unstable by the reports I have read. New leadership provides the opportunity to make a deal with the west to fix some of the problems, and blame the old problems on the old deposed leader, thus allowing a policy reversal without contradiction.
posted by cameldrv at 11:06 AM on November 16, 2004

The reason for my "oh crap"ness :
Chinese and Western sources say the regime has prepared for a state of siege as it confronts a re-elected US administration under George W. Bush that is determined to break Pyongyang and disarm it of nuclear weapons.

They're starting to batten down the hatches it seems...
posted by PenDevil at 11:11 AM on November 16, 2004

This would be a good thing. The military leadership would be considerably more straightforward to deal with, from a diplomatic point of view. They'd likely be better guardians of the state's assets, as well. Removing that giant, demented ego might also be a big step towards reunification.

Of course, it's likely that the military leadership views the US as an aggressive military rival, which isn't going to help diplomacy.
posted by mr_roboto at 11:11 AM on November 16, 2004

still developing, i'm sure ...

i like the unnamed "foreign diplomat." is Henry Kissinger back again?

The loss of this woman was a blow," said a foreign diplomat. "But (US Democratic candidate) John Kerry's loss in the US election was a harder one. These are now very worried men.

i'm with troutfishing. i think Team America pushed him over the edge.

i agree (or at least i *think*) that the end of Kim Jong-Il's incompetent reign will be a good thing for North Koreans.

so what's with the "consort"? i guess i could look it up myself, but why weren't they married?
posted by mrgrimm at 11:14 AM on November 16, 2004

I Was Kim Jong-Il's Cook
posted by mrgrimm at 11:15 AM on November 16, 2004

... following the death of his favourite consort ...

Isn't the popular scuttlebutt in Japan that Kim Jong-Il is obsessed with a Japanese pop star?
posted by Shane at 11:15 AM on November 16, 2004

Thank the gods we have steady leadership in these times of change.
posted by Busithoth at 11:17 AM on November 16, 2004

NK run by military leaders with some hold on reality = likely a good thing.

NK run by military leaders who think they're next on the Axis of Evil US World Tour = likely a very bad thing.

Interesting to see how this plays out.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 11:19 AM on November 16, 2004

Well in any coup you're going to batten down the hatches militarily. You don't want a counter-coup to get you before you have consolidated power. As for a military confrontation between the west and NK, South Korea would take a lot of damage, but North Korea would be devastated and would lose the war. Any military leader who is clever enough to pull off a coup is going to be smart enough to know this, and simple self-preservation will keep him from starting anything. There is a very obvious, rational path for NK to take at this point, and that is to trade away all of the nuclear facilities they have for aid, and start opening up their economy. South Korea is very rich and would probably be very generous if the North started taking serious measures toward reconciliation.
posted by cameldrv at 11:23 AM on November 16, 2004

They stated that on the wall where Chairman Kim’s picture was originally placed, there remained yellowish trace, which seems to be all that was left after repainting the spot, and a nail.

My name is Ozymandias!
posted by gimonca at 11:30 AM on November 16, 2004

but North Korea would be devastated and would lose the war.

True. Unless they've got that orbital solar death ray thing from Die Another Day.
posted by unreason at 11:36 AM on November 16, 2004

i like the unnamed "foreign diplomat." is Henry Kissinger back again?

I thought he couldn't leave the country anymore for fear of being extradited for war crimes.
posted by Ufez Jones at 11:38 AM on November 16, 2004

Seclusion must be lonely... oh so lonely...
posted by Robot Johnny at 11:43 AM on November 16, 2004

Yeah, while instability is always worrisome, the US and the UN do have a very long track record of reaching stable accords with military regimes. Not that I'm proud of that in the least, but it could theoretically be a transition to more of a known quantity. To me, as a relatively uninformed observer, the scariest part always seemed to be Kim's apparent wobbliness, and the willingness of the apparatus to do what he wants.

North Koreans won't necessarily be any better off, unfortunately, but it may not be bad news, globally, if it's true.
posted by LairBob at 11:47 AM on November 16, 2004

Suddenly, all I can think of is that Jay-Z number:

If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
posted by AccordionGuy at 11:51 AM on November 16, 2004

Don't worry...the last time I lost a consort, I was in a funk for a couple of weeks, but I got over it.
posted by ChrisTN at 12:25 PM on November 16, 2004

The producer from hell
posted by Smart Dalek at 12:26 PM on November 16, 2004

the regime has prepared for a state of siege as it confronts a re-elected US administration under George W. Bush that is determined to break Pyongyang and disarm it of nuclear weapons.

Yeah, 'cause Bush has done SO MUCH to disarm NK so far!

Kim's been trying his damndest to get Dubya's attention but it hasn't worked for the past four years, why should he be worried now?
posted by clevershark at 12:27 PM on November 16, 2004

i like the unnamed "foreign diplomat." is Henry Kissinger back again?

I thought he couldn't leave the country anymore for fear of being extradited for war crimes.

he doesn't have to. the article was written in Australia. they could have just called him on the phone. it just says "foreign diplomat, not "North Korean diplomat" or "diplomat familiar with Kim Jong-Il." it seemed a little weird to me, but it could be simply bad writing.

i don't think it's Kissinger, obviously. i'm just curious why Kim would be so scared that Kerry lost. i don't get it.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:37 PM on November 16, 2004

i don't think it's Kissinger, obviously.

Oh, I don't either. Truly scary proposition though.
posted by Ufez Jones at 12:46 PM on November 16, 2004

My name is Ozymandias!

Nice.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 12:57 PM on November 16, 2004

Who'd have thought that all it took was Sum Dead Ho?

Sum Yung Guy's sister right? Careful, crash, you're skirting the edge of redneckery, there, in the name of a pretty weak jape. You just missed the chance to add some variation on 'me love you long time'.

Her name was actually Koh Young-hee, but yeah, she probably was a big whore.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:03 PM on November 16, 2004

I honestly can't imagine how anyone or anything could be worse than Kim Jong Il. Military juntas tend to be marginally saner than psychopathic megalomaniacs, I think.
posted by Sidhedevil at 2:44 PM on November 16, 2004

Stavros, you know better about the social censure of what being a whore means in Korea. How does your local press take a shock like this? Is it presented in partisan fox news style in S. Korea? Should we be shaking in our boots?

Are more mini subs on the way?
posted by zaelic at 3:05 PM on November 16, 2004

I haven't heard anything about it yet, other than the linked article. If I do, I'll let ya'll know.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 3:36 PM on November 16, 2004

I would think that the job opportunities for women in the current North Korean regime are limited enough that "dictator's consort" seems far more appealing than the alternatives of "nightsoil collector", "street sweeper", and "starving person".
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:31 PM on November 16, 2004

Actually, don't many women in NK have some pretty plumb jobs? I thought I remembered reading something about that... of course I could be exactly wrong...
posted by cell divide at 8:56 PM on November 16, 2004

it just says "foreign diplomat, not "North Korean diplomat" or "diplomat familiar with Kim Jong-Il." it seemed a little weird to me, but it could be simply bad writing.

I thought "foreign diplomat" was a journalistic euphemism for a secret service source.
posted by axon at 7:34 AM on November 17, 2004

Yeah, 'cause Bush has done SO MUCH to disarm NK so far!

Kim's been trying his damndest to get Dubya's attention but it hasn't worked for the past four years, why should he be worried now?

What, that whole "Axis o' Evil" thing wasn't enough to qualify as "attention?" Or all that work we did screwing up the diplomatic handling of NK's nuclear program? Or all the U.S. military movements in South Korea?

Just because the media hasn't been taking their eyes off the Iraqi news goldmine doesn't mean we haven't been screwing around in other areas of the world. The only reason we haven't seen additional press is that all NK's done is rattle their sabers. The first time the NK military decide to do something interesting, I guarantee we'll get our fill of backstory.
posted by FormlessOne at 8:08 AM on November 17, 2004

As for a military confrontation between the west and NK, South Korea would take a lot of damage, but North Korea would be devastated and would lose the war. Any military leader who is clever enough to pull off a coup is going to be smart enough to know this, and simple self-preservation will keep him from starting anything.

Your assuming the NK military trust the US won't preemptedly strike against them for the made up reason du jour. Many in the world consider the US to be a rogue state which can't be trusted to not go postal on their country.
posted by Mitheral at 8:57 AM on November 17, 2004