May 8, 2001

6:16 PM

"We’re not behaving, sometimes we’re pretty wild."
The buggy’s interior is upholstered in royal blue velour. A triangular swatch of the same material is attached to the dash. Silver key chains with colorful emblems - Guns and Roses, Cleveland Browns, and a miniature baseball bat - hang from battery-operated light switches.

Five stereo speakers - including a 12-inch sub-woofer - line the inside of the covered buggy.

On the seat is a selection of old cassette tapes: "The Outfield," "Vixen," and "Hooters."

"This thing will rock, I’m telling you," one of the boys says.
posted by quonsar (21 comments total)

I know, it's a serious business. But God help me, the descriptions of typical teenage behavior and those souped up buggies have me ROFLASTC... :-)
posted by quonsar at 6:19 PM on May 8, 2001

Why are the non-Amish referred to as "English"?
posted by whatnotever at 6:50 PM on May 8, 2001

I'm from Geauga County originally, & I tell ya, those Amish are pretty damn nuts.. always drag-racing their buggies & having gang-related shooting incidents. They're a scourge on society, I say.
posted by zempf at 6:54 PM on May 8, 2001

I'm from just outside Amish Country, PA originally, so this story from a few years ago was a hoot and a half.

You gotta this: the two guys involved were Abner Stoltzfus and Abner King Stoltzfus... the kicker is they're completely unrelated!
posted by Mrmuhnrmuh at 7:17 PM on May 8, 2001

Err... "you gotta love this:" too...
posted by Mrmuhnrmuh at 7:29 PM on May 8, 2001

Being in near Amish country in PA, too, I've heard some wild rumors about some of the sexual activity that goes on during those barn parties. Doubt any of it's true, though...

I do like that Walmart in Ephrata that caters to the Mennonite community by having a buggy shed with a hitching post along the side of the parking lot. And what about those black bumper people?
posted by MegoSteve at 8:03 PM on May 8, 2001

the main problem the police seems to have is that the amishkids are under the age of 21, which is telling of the difference in culture. the amish believe that drinking is for children, while the "yankees" believe that drinking is for adults.
posted by clockwork at 8:13 PM on May 8, 2001

whatnot, the term "English" dates from when the Amish were all basically German immigrants. Most of them came to Pennsylvania because William Penn, a Quaker, insisted on religious liberty in that colony.

Interestingly, I'm related both to William Penn, and to Methodist German immigrants to Pennsylvania.
posted by dhartung at 10:02 PM on May 8, 2001

Interestingly?
posted by dogmatic at 6:13 AM on May 9, 2001

Yo Mrmuhnrmuh....I got so much crap because of the Abners. I'm Mexican-Amish, so a lot of people joked around that I must have supplied the drugs. ;)
posted by jennak at 7:32 AM on May 9, 2001

I'm more concerned with the Amish kids' ridiculously bad taste in music than I am with any of the drinking or smoking. Bands like Vixen and The Outfield ruin lives.
posted by Reggie452 at 7:59 AM on May 9, 2001

I spent my h.s. senior year in Lancaster, PA and always got a kick out Amish hijynx. My mom still sends me shoo fly pie and Amish horseradish (HOT!) from market.
Hey, at least the hayseeds found a good source - the Pagans were notorious for charlie and crystal in Philly.
posted by roboto at 8:09 AM on May 9, 2001

Reggie, we should send them muscal care packages.
posted by SpecialK at 8:23 AM on May 9, 2001

Re: Amish taste in music:

It's not like they can go to the mall or order at cdnow.com and get the latest releases... they probably got those outdated tapes at a farmers' market.
posted by MegoSteve at 8:27 AM on May 9, 2001

I for one am glad that we have a new group responsible for violence and crime in America. I was getting really tired of everything getting pinned on the usual suspects.
posted by mecran01 at 9:42 AM on May 9, 2001

I know that MeFi has truly grown out of control when the Ephrata Walmart gets name-checked in a thread.

Hey, how 'bout that Turkey Hill iced tea? Central Pennsylvania is like the mob, you can leave, but you'll never get out.
posted by anildash at 10:04 AM on May 9, 2001

Even when you don't live there, you can't ever get out. I bought the shoes that I'm wearing at the Ephrata Walmart. Trippy.
posted by Dreama at 10:13 AM on May 9, 2001

I'm still trying to escape Central PA, but it's too damned comfortable. And I would miss Turkey Hill iced tea and Martin's Potato Chips too much. That and the cheap living.
posted by MegoSteve at 10:37 AM on May 9, 2001

"Young Amish men and women are drinking, then getting into buggies to drive home. Sometimes, the teens pass out leaving their horses to find the way home."

...hmmm....

i gotta go buy a horse...
posted by jcterminal at 10:49 AM on May 9, 2001

Guers iced tea supersedes Turkey Hill in my area, although it's rumored to cause gall stones or something of the sort.

Safeway out here in CA carries some old school PA essentials though. They have a distribution deal with Tastykake, so I don't need them shipped out anymore (except the ones out here have no freshness date so I'm guessing preservatives abound).

And you gotta love seeing Mrs. T's and scrapple in the freezer (although frozen scrapple isn't quite right... of course, most would argue scrapple's existence isn't quite right).

But no lager. Oh well.
posted by Mrmuhnrmuh at 12:31 PM on May 9, 2001

LOTS of the Central PA folks here, it seems. Speaking of Ephrata, anyone familiar with Wilbur chocolates?
posted by GriffX at 1:19 PM on May 9, 2001