September 6, 2001

9:29 PM

I welcome everyone to the 2nd annual MeFi "Worst. MTV. Video. Music. Awards. EVER." thread. And yes, Britney even further cemented her reputation as a....
posted by aaron (71 comments total)

God, please don't tell me I was the only one that sat through (most) of it this year. We got 40 responses last time.
posted by aaron at 9:40 PM on September 6, 2001

Michael Jackson looks like the melting Nazi from the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
posted by waxpancake at 9:41 PM on September 6, 2001

As a what Aaron? What is Britany?
posted by Doug at 9:43 PM on September 6, 2001

...pancake. :D
posted by metrocake at 9:48 PM on September 6, 2001

Sat through it? Hell, I actually WROTE ABOUT IT as part of some li'l silly blogging thing. Click here if you're a glutton for snide chicanery.

It was the VMAs. Anyone expecting something "good" should look somewhere else. Say, the MuchMusic Video Awards show on the 23rd of this month.
posted by popshots75 at 9:48 PM on September 6, 2001

Where's Steven? He should be asking that one...

It never gets any better. I remember an unruly group of us sitting in the Pit Pub at UBC 15(?) years ago, pelting the bigscreen with popcorn, straws, imprecations, and eventually empty rye-and-coke glasses, in stunned disbelief at the vast tapestry of crap that was being awarded on the MuchMusic video awards (the at-that-time newish Canadian MTV clone).
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:49 PM on September 6, 2001

It was bad. And not Michael-Jackson-in-the-80s bad.

One of the best moments: Ben Stiller and Puffy. I also enjoyed the MTV promotional spots for "Videos work here".
posted by LeiaS at 9:51 PM on September 6, 2001

Did anyone else notice that Britney Spears was lip-synching? I don't think too many of the other bands were lip-synching, as U2 obviously wasn't (as they made a live comment about the technical difficulties). But Britney was off by a 1/2 second at the beginning, and when she passed the snake back to the handler, she stopped moving her lips altogether while her voice kept going.

That was the first MTV VMA I've ever watched (and by watched I mean I had it on in the background and occassionally glanced over), and I have to admit that it was terrible. The only thing that I found amusing/entertaining was the opera opening.

And since "Weapon of Choice" didn't win best video, it was obviously flawed.
posted by Grum at 9:52 PM on September 6, 2001

Defence of MuchMusic, Stavros - It was the MTV music awards we were watching.
posted by Bearman at 9:54 PM on September 6, 2001

The insulting dog was kinda funny. Jon Bon Jovi's "Phoebe Cates" induced banging under the pedestal bit was another moment.
posted by riffola at 9:56 PM on September 6, 2001

I watched it top to bottom. Loved it.

I thought Ben Stiller throwing down on Puffy was perfect and necessary. Puffy's a clown and a poser, and watching him catch his comeuppance was lovely.

Poor Michael. He just couldn't be as energetic as the new kids. Or whoever they are. N Sync. Right. Whoever. 20 seconds of spins and moonwalking-on-the-spot and the poor old fart was dizzy and out of breath.

Oh, so many more highlights and lowlights. (No Madonna? No Eminem? What happened?)

It was, yes, the social event of the season. The set designs themselves were worth the ordeal. U2 going on and on about how their videos really stank, their Ramones tribute, Christopher Walken getting the biggest cheer of the night, Alicia Keys striking a way-too-rare blow for actual musicians, the stellar wild-kingdom intros to each of the awards... I shall treasure these memories close to my heart always.

I'm cleaning up the mess from the party now.
posted by chicobangs at 9:57 PM on September 6, 2001

Oh, and a couple of other things. Did anyone else notice that 1) there were more miscues than usual (Jamie Foxx accidentally introducing Jay-Z at the wrong time and U2's technical glitches) 2) the commercialism was even crasser than usual (Macy Gray, Busta Rhymes, Shakira) 3) even the audience seemed bored?
posted by Sinner at 9:59 PM on September 6, 2001

There was some good on the show at least Outkast won an award and we got to see puff daddy made fun of. The rest was crap. Everyone out here seems to have a problem with money. You need money so you are free to do what u want. Do u all think U 2 would have been able to do their last 3 albums if they had not made the money already. You guys need to go out and make some cash so u can do what u want and get other people to hear it if not were all still stuck doing this shit .
posted by jbou at 10:06 PM on September 6, 2001

That Destiny's child song "Survivor" is a freaking torture device. Jamie Foxx was dreadfully bad (it seemed like they wanted to use him less and less as the night wore on). As a whole, though, for a show that I usually spend hours insulting (it's the only reason to watch) it was too dull to even pull enough good gripes about, which may be the worst gripe of all.
posted by eyeballkid at 10:08 PM on September 6, 2001

And the only thing *more* crapass than the Video Music Awards is....

Matt Drudge's review.
posted by metrocake at 10:14 PM on September 6, 2001

It was bad. And not Michael-Jackson-in-the-80s bad.

Just to clarify, by this I meant that bad was good then. So tonight's show was not good bad, it was awful bad.

I enjoyed Alicia Keys' performance. She got a standing ovation, probably since it was the first exhibition of class all night.
posted by LeiaS at 10:15 PM on September 6, 2001

mtv? i don't got no stinken mtv
posted by physics at 10:19 PM on September 6, 2001

Aaron, babe, beat ya to it...

Hey, does that mean I'm DoublePostCake?
posted by metrocake at 10:29 PM on September 6, 2001

Damn, I didn't see that! You are TooDamnFastCake!
posted by aaron at 10:32 PM on September 6, 2001

I loved Outkast's lederhosen-and-furry pants wear. And that metal band that took the award with the bullet holes in their head? Nice touch.

Drudge has a point, but then again, righteous indignation is his stock in trade. If he ain't pissed about something, no one cares.

I thought Moby was quite humble, actually, corporate whore or not.

word up, eyeball: Jamie Foxx was unintelligible, unable to improvise when these glitches came up, uninterested in the proceedings and just plain unfunny. I say bring back Chris Rock at any cost next year. Or Jon Stewart or, I don't know, Janeane Garofalo? Someone with a brain who can handle a crowd. Please.
posted by chicobangs at 10:32 PM on September 6, 2001

whoa, i read this post, then went downstairs to get a snack, absentmindedly turned on the tv, and caught the replay of the VMAs... the n'sync performance... lol, i thought video game characters were the only people who wore those clothes.

and you know what... puffy isn't so bad. i've been listening to rap a while now (more underground though), and puffy is about the only mainstream/commercial rapper out there who i like right now... not to mention, the "hardest." which is really a scary thought, when you think about it.
posted by lotsofno at 10:37 PM on September 6, 2001

I'll say it again. Puffy is a clown. Of the big red nose variety. The only thing 'hard' about him is the ceiling on his IQ. And the worst part is, his take no prisoners, future be damned, take take take attitude is starting to rub off on everyone else (Exhibit A - Macy Gray's billboard dress), and it was the one constant fart in the otherwise lovely bouquet of the evening.

But anyway. Weren't the set designs (especially N Sync's) amazing?
posted by chicobangs at 10:45 PM on September 6, 2001

I wasn't going to watch but then I caught the Timecode-esque split screen show on M2. It held my short attention span mostly because one of the four panes would show the reactions of the losers in addition to several angles of the main stage and some backstage shots. Give them some credit for experimenting.
posted by euphorb at 10:53 PM on September 6, 2001

okay, he's a clown, i'll admit that... but i love him for it. do you remember how ridiculous the mo' money mo' problems video was? i mean, it was utter ridiculosity. it began with them all in a gold tournament and Mase acting like a commentator, whispering as Puffy made his final putt, referring to him as "Puffy Woods." it's hilarious!

bah, look at the competition though. Nelly? Jay-Z (whose a pretty good lyricist, but still despicable.)?

yeah, and after i saw Macy Gray, i was tempted to go back in time, show up at the awards, and walk beside her as she came out to present the award, wearing a shirt that said, "WTF?" while pointing at her and having a confused look on my face.

the set designs actually were pretty dope. i liked the TVs and the revolving thingy that the beginning guy dissapeared in. the etch-a-sketch looking sequence at the end was pretty cheesy though.
posted by lotsofno at 10:53 PM on September 6, 2001

I have yet to actually watch one of the MTV award shows. I hate that I missed out on the early years of MTV since apparently it was enjoyable then, but until a few years ago our cable company refused to carry the channel because they said it was "obscene" or something like that.

Of course I had already forgotten that it was on tonight anyway. I might have watched part of it if I had remembered. Instead I spent a good portion of my evening watching monarch butterfly larvae munching on asclepias tuberosa plants and watching lightning in the distance. It was probably more exciting.

So, were the controversial kitties on with Britney or not? I couldn't tell if that was a real tiger behind her in that picture...
posted by bargle at 10:56 PM on September 6, 2001

For the love of God, if you people hate pop music so much - don't watch. Again and again you people slam MTV but it sure as hell feels like you're watching a ton of it to have so much slam-material. Again, every generation is going to think that "back when we were young" the music was so much better and that "everything the kids today are listening to is crap". Whether it was The Beatles, Elvis, Beastie Boys, Fat Boys, Britney, etc. the old fogeys will be whining how much it sucks, while the kids listen to their music. It isn't your music anymore.

On the other hand: Snakes, son, snakes...
posted by owillis at 11:00 PM on September 6, 2001

Btw I am really pleased to see that Robbie Williams' "Rock DJ" won the best special effects, and disappointed that neither Aerosmith's "Jaded" nor (Damon Alburn's side project) Gorrilaz's "Clint Eastwood" won anything.
posted by riffola at 11:16 PM on September 6, 2001

oliver, I love music, even popular music. N Sync's new record is pretty dope, actually. Hence my vexation at many of these people not doing a better job of it.

The kitties made a cameo appearance, but they were clearly pulled way back and shunted offstage at the first opportunity. Bummer. A rampage would have been funny, at least watching from home.

What else... oh right. Nelly is a no-talent, and Jay Z... well, Jay Z's a tool. Give me, oh, Outkast and Busta when they're not too stoned (both of whom presented and totally whored their sell dates but still) any day over the dicknoses who actually got to perform. And I'm glad the Gorillaz got mention at all.

(PS - I've never used the word dope in a sentence like that before.)
posted by chicobangs at 11:19 PM on September 6, 2001

there's something satisfying about seeing, on live television, MTV falling on its face so consistently. even with all the money in the world, and shoulda-been huge events like michael jackson and U2 performing, they couldn't put on a show that had any entertainment value except train-wreck-in-progress fascination. even so, i had to keep flipping channels - the parts that went smoothly were so dull. you'd think with all that cash they would be able to, say, write funny or at least surprising things for people to say, or put together a couple good performances - instead, the stink is finally starting to be too bad to hide. jamie foxx was the best they could do for a host? you know he had to have been their ninth or tenth choice... mtv's been pissing a lot of people off, and making choices to move away from risk or talent whenever possible, and it's cool that it's starting to show. i noticed a friend of mine listening to dead kennedys the other day, which i haven't done in a while, and so I pulled it out to listen to good old jello biafra sing, "MTV Get Off the Air." i laughed to hear the last verse of the song, if any of you remember it:

But sales are slumping
And no one will say why
Could it be they put out
One too many lousy records?!?
posted by moth at 11:22 PM on September 6, 2001

I don't know Owillis. I hear the insults coming from the kids too. I'm hardly more than a kid myself, and I do my share of MTV bashing. You are right, older generations rarely embrace the music of the younger generations, but there is something more at work here. No new sound has emerged in the past four years, just wave after wave of stock acts with big advertising budgets. There's good music to be had, just because it's not revolutionary doesn't make it bad, but there is very little to get excited about.
posted by Nothing at 11:40 PM on September 6, 2001

It isn't your music anymore.

P diddy is 31, bono is 41, macy gray is 31, j lopez is 30, michael jackson is 43, hell, even one of the back street boys is 30. I don’t think you have to be 16 to comment on the show.

However, even if you’re 16 I’d hope you can recognize crap when you see it, such as britney’s non-performance. Could it have been any worse? An awful song and even worse lip-synching. They put her at the end of the show so we could watch her carry a snake across the stage. Brilliant.

I hear the insults coming from the kids too.

Exactly, and I hear most of the pro comments coming from guys who would be better off getting a subscription to playboy (or *gasp* a girlfriend).
posted by justgary at 11:57 PM on September 6, 2001

honestly, i see so little of mtv that i had no idea there even was an awards show going on tonight until i logged out of my hotmail account and saw an article title mentioning it on msn.com.

i've heard the ramones were honored, which would be the only thing giving me a reason to watch it at all. i doubt i would have had enough interest in the show to sit through it up until that point, or anytime after it, though.
posted by andy g. at 12:14 AM on September 7, 2001

Sumo wrestlers have such control over their bodies that they can retract their testicles at will.

Brittney Spears does this for me.

She bimboes her talentless karroke self into whore mode, and I'm left with this cavity, where once there was proud manhood. Whoosh.

Why can't an anvil just fall on her? Where are all the goddamned anvils? The Road Runner cartoons of my youth have lied to me!

Nikka Costa, on the other hand, I'd give my kidney to.

Well, not mine, but... someone's.
posted by dong_resin at 12:38 AM on September 7, 2001

"Omigod, that's the ninth Q-Tip I've lost in here!"
posted by dong_resin at 2:06 AM on September 7, 2001

Just to beat the previous record: the only thing worse than the VMA show is the vast septic blancmange of publicity that surrounds it on MTV: rehashes, prehashes, awful tie-ins.

At least we just get the Horror That Is Donna Air over here.
posted by holgate at 3:52 AM on September 7, 2001

There are far more horrible things on MTV than Donna Air. Richard Blackwood for example. Or the towering intellectual prowess of Kelly What's-her-name off of the Big Breakfast.

At least I don't have to see Sara Cox anymore. Idiot woman wittering on for ten or fifteen minutes at a time with a five to ten word vocabulary: Beer; Football; Yeah; Shaggin'; Yeah; Alright; Drinkin' and Yeah.

I actually prayed for a Westlife video to come on. That bad.

(For the record, I was attempting to get some exercise at a gym, so I couldn't switch channels. )
posted by Grangousier at 4:21 AM on September 7, 2001

MTV sucks. Music videos suck. Period. Music is for listening, not watching.

And to anyone who ranted about the "commercialism" of the awards show & certain performers: please realize that MTV itself is nothing more than a television channel dedicated to and consisting of nothing more than non-stop commercials. Way back when, in 1981, MTV was created largely to have 3-minute "commercials" by musical artists to entice consumers to purchase the albums. The videos weren't even necessarily intended to be "artistic" - they were done for the sole purpose of selling more albums. You know me - I love big business, capitalism, etc - so this aspect of it is fine by me, but anyone decrying the "commercialism" in the world of music videos should probably cast their stones elsewhere.
posted by davidmsc at 4:37 AM on September 7, 2001

Did MTV not pay the presenters or something? With some exceptions, every single presenter was up there, whoring their movie or their album or whatever. I mean, I know it's a 2 hour long commercial, but couldn't they try to be slightly more covert than that?

I didn't sit through the whole thing, but I thought that the little nature movies introducing each category was about the only thing remotely clever.
posted by crunchland at 5:45 AM on September 7, 2001

"...their Ramones tribute"


What was up with that ramone's thing? they're mentioned, told how great they are, brought out on stage for two seconds; and, then... okay, thanks for coming, on to the next thing. weird.
posted by bliss322 at 5:46 AM on September 7, 2001

The Drudge review is very, very weird. I have been hitting his site for years and have never seen anything like that. Is Matt off his meds?
posted by Mid at 6:02 AM on September 7, 2001

RE: Ramones. . . . that two seconds was more than MTV has ever given the band.
posted by spslsausse at 6:11 AM on September 7, 2001

Music videos suck. Period. Music is for listening, not watching.

Come now, a bit extreme perhaps? Yes, most music videos suck because all they do is parade the artist and some neat tricks around while the song is played over top, mainly designed to induce a little slack-jaw in teenagers so can sit still and listen to the crap being played.

On the other hand, some music videos are f**ing works of art that really complement/complete a song (or vice versa). For example, Chris Cunningham's video for Bjork's "All is Full of Love" is awesome. And I don't much like Bjork. But there are tons of videos for songs that are like that -- they just never get played and we get to see them, because MTV realizes that most kids are too stupid to understand what makes these kinds of videos better than the crap videos that I believe they're all but forced into showing by all the big record companies.

But just my opinion
posted by dopamine at 6:13 AM on September 7, 2001

A lot of good comments. My 2¢ - P. Diddy: in a deal with the devil; Britney Spears: pre-packaged, over-choreographed, robot; 'N Sync: discordant chaos; Jamie Foxx: a couple of light chuckles; Alicia Keys: mucho piano lessons, actual talent?; Michael Jackson: hyper-freak; Overall: Zzzzzzzzzz...
posted by quirked at 6:27 AM on September 7, 2001

The Drudge review is very, very weird. I have been hitting his site for years and have never seen anything like that. Is Matt off his meds?

Actually, that review is pretty close to the early Matt Drudge, when he was posting his stories to alt.showbiz.gossip and his sanity was an open question. One time he wrote that fans at a Dean Cain autograph signing were so excited they were "literally lactating." I wish I had been there to see that.
posted by rcade at 6:50 AM on September 7, 2001

But you guys have to admit it was kinda cool to see Bono turning into Robin Williams right before your eyes, right?
posted by headspace at 6:56 AM on September 7, 2001

Bring back Ray Cokes. Oh they just have, only on VH-1.
posted by kerplunk at 7:07 AM on September 7, 2001

The show is not meant to recognize creativity in videos. MTV even admit's that it's just for fun. The problem is it's not fun. The hosts have continued to be unfunny and MTV does nothing to make the show entertaining.

What I don't understand is that the MTV movie awards are great. They always make those funny movie spoofs. Remember Ben Stiller in "Mission Impossible"? The cast from the Brady Bunch in "A Few Good Men"? These pieces are so brilliant that you remember them. I've already forgotten about the VMA's
posted by chainring at 7:22 AM on September 7, 2001

P diddy is 31, bono is 41, macy gray is 31, j lopez is 30, michael jackson is 43

I don't think the age of the artist has anything to do with the intended audience, and I didn't say you had to be 16 to comment just realize if you're over the age - you probably aren't the target demo...
posted by owillis at 8:15 AM on September 7, 2001

Next up in Anti-MTV song lyrics: The ever-lovin' Replacements with "Seen your Video":

All day, all night, all music video
Seen your video, the phony rock 'n' roll
We don't want to know, seen your video
Your phony rock 'n' roll
We don't want to know
We don't want to know
We don't want to know
We don't want to know
posted by metrocake at 8:37 AM on September 7, 2001

I guess I could have posted this in a more timely fashion, but...

I live in the neighborhood around Lincoln Center and yesterday it was essentially completely overrun by MTV. (I had wanted to photoessay it, but didn't really have the entusiasm to...)

4 or 5 big trailers (portable offices) parked on Amsterdam Ave. for a couple of weeks... Damrosch Park was completely overrun by tents and trucks for about a week. And then, there was the day of the event.

There were barricades on every sidewalk within a 6 block radius (or so.) When I returned home from work and got out of the subway, I was greeted with a mob scene (of course, this was at 7:30, when all the enterance festivities were occuring) of lots and lots of yelling (at that annoying shrill note usually only heard at the Times Square TRL broadcast) all around. Wading through all that to get home was, interesting. Police stationed on every corner. Many of the streets right around Lincoln Center were blocked off. (walking around later trying to get closer, I couldn't get within a block of the center). And the limos. There were limos EVERYWHERE-- from the basic Town Cars to a couple of (ohgodwhy?) stretched Ford Excursions. Parked outside my building was Mr. Busta Rhymes's.

Definately an entertaining circus, though I didn't really catch much of the awards. But if Weapon of Choice didn't win for best video, what's the point?
posted by andrewraff at 8:44 AM on September 7, 2001

I don't think the age of the artist has anything to do with the intended audience, and I didn't say you had to be 16 to comment just realize if you're over the age - you probably aren't the target demo...

With many acts yes. But for michael jackson to sell as many records as I'm sure he wants to he'll need to reach more than the teen market, and I doubt U2 gives any thought to reaching teenyboppers.
posted by justgary at 8:53 AM on September 7, 2001

PS. And even britney and nsync are trying to 'expand' their markets, which means attracting fans out of their teens. That means me, and me says god help us all.
posted by justgary at 8:55 AM on September 7, 2001

Because it's still too early for me, and I'm a little dense, I ended up posting a comment to LAST YEAR'S thread.

I suppose I could say something clever about this proving that it's the same old crap every year, but..
posted by SiW at 9:16 AM on September 7, 2001

... I doubt U2 gives any thought to reaching teenyboppers.

Considering the purchasing power of teenyboppers, I doubt that. U2's not above whoring -- remember their song for Batman Forever?
posted by rcade at 9:19 AM on September 7, 2001

I watched the show and heard this giant sucking sound at the end, like the air out of a balloon kind of thing. All I'm trying to say is that there was no energy in the crowd at the end. Also, Britney's song and dance sucked, and if I have to hear Missy Elliott's "Get Ur Freak On" again I'll shoot myself. Is that what they call "music" these days? To me, the only important, good part of the show was U2's performance and award. And even though I swim against the current that is the Carson Daly phenomenon, I liked his comments about U2's continuing relevance. They still rock.
posted by msacheson at 9:30 AM on September 7, 2001

SUCK SUCK S-U-C-K.

Like many said before me, why did they have those mis-cued segments? with all their money, they should have been on top of things.

Jamie Foxx? So damn unfunny. The commercials advertising the show with him were funnier than his live performance. Its like the audience was made of stone.......

Everyone pushing their upcoming albums? blah. they should have stated 'fire up your favorite filesharing utility and get them right now- fuck waiting till the release date.'

The P.Diddy/Ben Stiller confrontation was the funniest part of the whole show.

I was hopping that the snake would have choked Brittney right there on stage.
posted by ewwgene at 10:05 AM on September 7, 2001

One more thing, they needed to showcase the X-Cutioners more. I doubt many in the audience knew who they were though. :P
posted by ewwgene at 10:10 AM on September 7, 2001

Re Britney Spears: have you ever noticed that she seems to have a difficult time holding her head up straight? In many photos, she cocks her noggin to one side. Is it suppsed to be cute?

didn't watch the VMAs. MTV no longer holds anything of interest for me -- i.e., actual music videos. I miss the days of the Beastie Boys' "Sabotage" video.
posted by Vacaloca at 10:10 AM on September 7, 2001

"Sumo wrestlers have such control over their bodies that they can retract their testicles at will."

heh. you believe that? freak.
posted by jcterminal at 11:41 AM on September 8, 2001

I've seen it.

Mind you, the 300 pounds of gut help a wee bit.
posted by dong_resin at 11:47 AM on September 8, 2001

I missed the VMAs this year. Apparently I didn't miss too much.

I'd be a lot more interested in them if MTV, oh, I don't know...actually SHOWED THE VIDEOS NOMINATED so I'd have a clue why they were nominated?

I never missed them in the early years. And that ultrasound special on them from last year only showed how much better they were back then.
posted by SisterHavana at 1:07 PM on September 8, 2001

U2's not above whoring -- remember their song for Batman Forever?

True. However, they can't compete in the teen market against the britneys and nsyncs, so if their aim was for that market only they'd be dead in the water.

(you're picking one song out of many albums. Not that convincing, more of an exception than a rule)
posted by justgary at 2:20 PM on September 8, 2001

Just because they're teenagers dosn't mean they don't have taste.
posted by delmoi at 5:15 PM on September 8, 2001

U2's not above whoring -- remember their song for Batman Forever?

So would now be a bad time to mention that I really, really like that song? Oops.
posted by brookedel at 5:56 PM on September 8, 2001

Never mind the U2 Batman Forever song -- their Tomb Raider song from this summer is a more recent example!
posted by Ben Grimm at 11:01 PM on September 8, 2001

As far as I know, the only U2 song in Tomb Raider is Elevation, a track from the latest U2 CD. And I love the song from Batman Forever.
posted by bargle at 11:40 PM on September 8, 2001